Red Flag concerns...

[NeverSeen 0]

Absolutely beautiful pictures. Thanks so much for sharing.

Thank you so much .

I've never seen da lat before till these pictures. I will be going to vn in less than 2 weeks

It actually reminds me a LOT of Tenn. heh. It was very nice there. It seems as though there is far less poverty there but i'm assuming that is because there is a lot of smaller farm villages that support the city all around it. It stayed in the mid 60's the whole time i was there day or night, and only rained once. I wore a light jacket and jeans and was very comfortable. I highly! recomend giong at some point. We went through Saigon Tourist and for $200 we got a charter bus ride there and back, 2 hotel rooms (gotta love the hooker rules), 3 meals a day, 3 tours a day for 4 days. GREAT deal IMO. It seemed to be about the distance of Tampa, FL to Miami, FL. about a 3-4 hour ride. PLENTY of sites to see on the way and some of the most beautiful mountian/forest/waterfalls I've seen in a long time. Also, they have "Vietnam Hotdog" which is simply amazing heh. think buttermilk pancake batter cooked in a george forman sandwich press with cheese or hot dog inside of it.

Right now i'm torn on how long to go. I know i could do a week, but i think it would be a lot more fun to do 2 weeks. I don't think i will be able to afford 2 trips (one in Oct and one in Dec) and then to buy tickets for her to fly over right after, so i'm limiting myself to one more trip. I'm sure i could manage to get 2 or 3 personal days off to meet her in Cali and fly back to FL with her. Like i mentioned before, i work 2nd shift and her uncle 1st shift so we could tag team getting her used to everything here. (not to mention i won't need to miss work doing all the new paperwork that will come up.)

Currently she is spending time with her best friend in Da Lat and will be going home later this month (nice little 2 month vacation she took) She will then finish up her nail tech school and continue taking english classes at the same time. After nails are done (couple weeks) she will concentrate fully on English and we will talk on a daily basis with me grilling her on interview questions and information. She does have a steel trap of a mind and remembers every last detail about everything, we just need to work on getting her to know how to respond correctly to questions in english.

Thanks for the support everyone! I feel better about this process everyday!

[The_dip_sticks 0]

I love your pictures! Thank you for sharing =0) You make such a cute couple!!!

[zgundam 0]

Also, they have "Vietnam Hotdog" which is simply amazing heh. think buttermilk pancake batter cooked in a george forman sandwich press with cheese or hot dog inside of it.

Whoa there. I've been to Vietnam four times in the past year and in Delat twice, and I've never eaten/seen this!

Was it only in Delat you had this? Was it near the town center (near the round-about next to the large staircase)? Have you seen it in HCMC? This sounds like something I could live off of.

Did you take a picture of it?

[NeverSeen 0]

Also, they have "Vietnam Hotdog" which is simply amazing heh. think buttermilk pancake batter cooked in a george forman sandwich press with cheese or hot dog inside of it.

Whoa there. I've been to Vietnam four times in the past year and in Delat twice, and I've never eaten/seen this!

Was it only in Delat you had this? Was it near the town center (near the round-about next to the large staircase)? Have you seen it in HCMC? This sounds like something I could live off of.

Did you take a picture of it?

ABSOLUTELY!!

They did have it in HCMC in Tram's neighborhood in front of someones house, but it was also in Da Lat leaving the market going down a road on a hill. Her friend's mom sells them from a cart thing. the ones i had were stuffed with the vina milk cheese wedge thing. it was made from the same batter as the flat crispy waffles but they were soft and fluffly and stuffed with cheese (or pate (sp) or "hotdog") my wife would say "look!! same hot dog in america!!" ohhhhhhhhhhh i just can't wait for the first time she sees a foot long polish with all the trimmings.

[zgundam 0]

Thanks for the pic. Id does look vaguely familiar but I'm sure I haven't tried it. next time I'm over there, I'll look out for them. They look to be a nice change from Bahn Bao.

[Cassandra+Yuibi 0]

My fiance and I intended to get married in April in Japan- so by the time that Adam Walsch act screwed up our plans we already had wedding rings purchased. I actually included to receipts for these in my proof of ongoing relationship and I've encountered no problems so far (although we have yet to be interviewed- we're at the same stage that you are). I think that if you aren't technically married- and she explains why you had a ceremony- there shouldn't be cause for a problem.

As long as the consulate can't say "HEY YOU'RE MARRIED ALREADY!" you should be fine. Although- to take a precaution you might want her to just wear her engagement ring instead of the wedding ring to the interview

[NeverSeen 0]

Yes, we planned to have her only wear the engagement ring and leave the wedding ring at home. If they ask about the wedding ring on the receipt, well that’s for the upcoming wedding . We will refer to the pictures as engagement party pictures, however, there was a traditional wedding ceremony before hand with only the family involved. We will leave out any pictures of the wedding cake and any that have words on the wall spelling out something about a wedding. If they still ask, no problem, there was a traditional wedding for her parents to see her get married because they can not come to the states. I’m assuming this is fairly common, and I do have one of my buddies at work that did the exact same thing with no issues.

[2007K1 0]

Red Flag 1: Only 1 trip to VN

........ I've also read about a lot of people who visit during the time of the interview.

Will it matter to the CO if i come a 2nd time in Oct. or if my 2nd time is when the interview process is going on or do they just want me there more than once to ease the red flags?

I need your wise advice:

I have difficult to decise when to go Vietnam to see my fiancee next time.

A little background first:

I have seen my fiancee two times in the pass. The last time I was with her was mid Dec. 2006.

I am planing to see her one more time before her interview.

Expecting interview date: Feb. / March 2008

My problem is from now to her interview, I can only take one time (max. three weeks) off from work.

I rather want to see my fiancee during her weeks of interview. If we pass the interview, I can help her with her flight to the States too, or if we get a denial, I least I can be at her side to her give my support.

My question is: Will that be a problem if we have not seen each other during a period of more than 12 months?

I don't think we will get our interview date until Feb. / March 2008, i.e more than 15 months since last time we met.

Is there some kind of "minimum" time (period) between two meetings before the CO starts raising his Red flags?

Thank you for your time!

Regards!

Edited November 12, 2007 by 2007K1

[NeverSeen 0]

You only have to meet 1 time in the last 2 years. If you've met twice in 2 years and your going to be there during the interview... you'll be fine. It's probably better because at the interview she can tell him that you are there waiting outside etc. Because i'm not going to be at vietnam for the interview I wrote a letter with a love story timeline deal in it that shes going to stick up the CO's nose until he reads it hehehaha.

You'll be fine. You can always explain stuff!

[2007K1 0]

You only have to meet 1 time in the last 2 years. If you've met twice in 2 years and your going to be there during the interview... you'll be fine. It's probably better because at the interview she can tell him that you are there waiting outside etc. Because i'm not going to be at vietnam for the interview I wrote a letter with a love story timeline deal in it that shes going to stick up the CO's nose until he reads it hehehaha.

You'll be fine. You can always explain stuff!

Thank you for your advice!

Enjoy your trip in Vietnam and best luck at your coming interview.

Regards!

[Friendly Advice 0]

Hello,

Congratulations about your interview date and all. Plenty of people have posted sound advice here, so take heed. There were a few things I thought I should raise:

-- Get on MySpace, now, and change your marital status from "married" to something else. Period.

-- Her English: this will be key. You don't speak much Vietnamese. You said that her English is slow but passable. As others have said, imagine you are a CO. If her English cannot be comprehended at the visa window ONE YEAR after you have been speaking to her in English on the phone daily, according to your post, why would a CO believe that your conversations were meaningful in any real sense?

-- Speed: contrary to others' thoughts, I think this will be a significant problem. You state that you were talking to her about marriage within 6 weeks of your very first contact. That is exceedingly rare. Incredibly rare. Except in Vietnam and other impoverished SE Asian countries. Someone you had never met face to face; with whom you had no real common language; who was introduced to you by a relative who - under US law - cannot petition for her for a visa.

I apologize for bringing this stuff up, but I do want to help. It comes down to this: the CO will listen to the story, and will try to see if it passes a basic test. That test is that the simplest explanation is often the best. So he/she will consider this: which is more likely - that you met the love of your life through an uncle, chatted over the internet slowly and uncertainly, and filed with a few months of first contact? Or that the uncle and you have some sort of "arrangement" to get her to the US so that the rest of the family can follow later?

Vietnam is among the highest fraud posts in the world. It also has among the most K-1 petitions in the world, which is (not coincidentally) the fastest way to bring a foreigner legally to the US.

I know that you want to bring her here because being separated from the person you love is the worst. I know. But think about this: why is it that Americans and Europeans, who often speak fluent English but are equally separated by huge distances and financial constraints, do not file anywhere NEAR the number of K-1s that Viet-US couples do, and who wait MUCH longer before embarking on the visa process? You can bet the CO will be thinking about this.

Just so as not to be misunderstood, I send you heartfelt best wishes and good luck with the interview process...perhaps your fiancee won't be asked any of this. But I thought I'd add my 2 cents, because you really should have answers for these issues.

All the best,

J.

[AnchorsAweigh 0]

Hi

It has been a long time since ive been here and posted...after i read this topic i am totally in agreement with 'Friendly Advice'...i still remember when i was interviewed by the CO...they never care about anyone's love story letter...even my husband wrote one for the CO to read but she didnt care about it at all.....the most important things the CO cared bout my case was my english ability...how we met...n our engagement pictures...in our case we met online and he came to see me after such a long time we talked...and we decided to have our engagement party while he was in VN...my relatives in the States ...their job ect....we printed a thousands pages of our chats but she never had a look at em...make sure your fiance can speak good english...the CO will think that, how can she come over here without understanding english....or just a little bit...these are what i used to get passed so im sharing with ya...hope these help and goodluck with your upcoming interview...

MTM

Edited November 21, 2007 by mousehunt07

[NeverSeen 0]

Hello,

Congratulations about your interview date and all. Plenty of people have posted sound advice here, so take heed. There were a few things I thought I should raise:

-- Get on MySpace, now, and change your marital status from "married" to something else. Period.

Interesting.

-- Her English: this will be key. You don't speak much Vietnamese. You said that her English is slow but passable. As others have said, imagine you are a CO. If her English cannot be comprehended at the visa window ONE YEAR after you have been speaking to her in English on the phone daily, according to your post, why would a CO believe that your conversations were meaningful in any real sense?

I think she is just nervous. We hold conversations constantly online on voice chat and in person. A guy I know married a girl from vietnam and she made it through knowing far less English. Of course, every case is differant. Tram is a part time college girl from the city and has studied english on and off for the past couple years + what she learned in high school. I think her smaller vocabulary is what bothers her the most. I've been working with her to expand it as much as possible.

-- Speed: contrary to others' thoughts, I think this will be a significant problem. You state that you were talking to her about marriage within 6 weeks of your very first contact. That is exceedingly rare. Incredibly rare. Except in Vietnam and other impoverished SE Asian countries. Someone you had never met face to face; with whom you had no real common language; who was introduced to you by a relative who - under US law - cannot petition for her for a visa.

I was sick of dating girls from the states that want to just date for years and years, then move in for years and years, then maybe someday get married. If i am going to enter into a relationship with a girl it is clear i want to get married and do not want to be bothered with a long drawn out relationship that we do not end up married happy for ever after. We started talking about marriage as in how we both felt about it, future plans etc, as i wanted to get a feel for what she was looking for in life. I was not proposing to her, i did that in vietnam after about 4 months of talking to her.

She has very little family in the states and they are not interested in bringing the family over. The uncle was not familar with this niece and couldn't care less if she came or not (he's not very close with most of his family over there). We worked on the relationship for 4 months before actually getting engaged.

As a comparison, my parents (typical white amercians) met and were married in less than 6 months. They've been married over 23 years now. Of course the CO does not know all this so i just have to hope for the best. We are now over a year into the relationship and we are both still fully commited to it. We're in it for the long haul no matter what it takes.

I apologize for bringing this stuff up, but I do want to help. It comes down to this: the CO will listen to the story, and will try to see if it passes a basic test. That test is that the simplest explanation is often the best. So he/she will consider this: which is more likely - that you met the love of your life through an uncle, chatted over the internet slowly and uncertainly, and filed with a few months of first contact? Or that the uncle and you have some sort of "arrangement" to get her to the US so that the rest of the family can follow later?

It sucks that this happens and legit peeps have to pay the price. I just happened to find what i consider the perfect girl and went after her. I did not want to waste any time with the filing because I knew the visas can take a very long time to move on. We met, 4 months later got engaged, 1 month later filed for visa, and after a year of knowing each other and developing our relationship we will get married in the states. Another comparison is my younger brother, Met to married in 5 months. I'm far behind both of these examples and i think i'm pretty on target for length of relationship. 1 year is plenty of time before getting married.

Vietnam is among the highest fraud posts in the world. It also has among the most K-1 petitions in the world, which is (not coincidentally) the fastest way to bring a foreigner legally to the US.

That sucks too. Just my luck right?

I know that you want to bring her here because being separated from the person you love is the worst. I know. But think about this: why is it that Americans and Europeans, who often speak fluent English but are equally separated by huge distances and financial constraints, do not file anywhere NEAR the number of K-1s that Viet-US couples do, and who wait MUCH longer before embarking on the visa process? You can bet the CO will be thinking about this.

Honestly? I can NOT stand white girls, especially american ones. I've dated VERY few (i can think of 1) and have stuck to mostly spanish girls and have been attracted to central american and south east asian girls (laos, thai, and viet) since as long as i remember. Besides look at it like this... what can you possibly find in europe that you can't find in america? I'm looking for a girl that likes to take care of her family and wants to prosper in the long run, not some brat that wants to suck me dry and divorce me. That simply does not exsist in america or european countires. Yes that is a general statement and no offence to those that disagree with me.

Just so as not to be misunderstood, I send you heartfelt best wishes and good luck with the interview process...perhaps your fiancee won't be asked any of this. But I thought I'd add my 2 cents, because you really should have answers for these issues.

It's always good to think of all sides of it. You are dead on with everything. Thank you for the eye opener.

Greater is He that is in me, than He that is in the World

[Friendly Advice 0]

Hey there NeverSeen,

Your responses are great, but it's not me you need to convince, it's the CO...which you know already. I was just trying to imagine I was the CO in your case...

So anyway...the only answer I had a problem with was the bit where you talked about European women vis-a-vis Vietnamese women. There are PLENTY of girls in VN looking for a way over to the States...I can't remember who it was (maybe wait4ever or Dalegg) who talked to an immigration consultant who said that some crazy number of marriages (like 80%) don't work because the VN fiancee/wife leaves after getting parole in the US. Anyway, what I mean by that is that the CO will likely be looking out for that as well.

In any case, glad that you are thinking of the relationship as a whole. In the end, if you look on VJ enough you will see that an infinitesimal number of visas are denied in the long run, so just know that true love always wins out. And that's the way it should be.

--j.

[NeverSeen 0]

Hey there NeverSeen,

Your responses are great, but it's not me you need to convince, it's the CO...which you know already. I was just trying to imagine I was the CO in your case...

So anyway...the only answer I had a problem with was the bit where you talked about European women vis-a-vis Vietnamese women. There are PLENTY of girls in VN looking for a way over to the States...I can't remember who it was (maybe wait4ever or Dalegg) who talked to an immigration consultant who said that some crazy number of marriages (like 80%) don't work because the VN fiancee/wife leaves after getting parole in the US. Anyway, what I mean by that is that the CO will likely be looking out for that as well.

In any case, glad that you are thinking of the relationship as a whole. In the end, if you look on VJ enough you will see that an infinitesimal number of visas are denied in the long run, so just know that true love always wins out. And that's the way it should be.

--j.

Yup, I know its the CO i have to convince. I appreciate you imagining the CO because it does raise questions and open my eyes to many possibilities. Heehe on the European Women. I personally am just not a fan, so try not to mind me too much . I wasn't very PC in most of that post.

I understand a lot of people have had their marriage break up after the VN is allowed to stick around. This is always somewhere in my mind, but i know our love is true and I do not need to worry about this. it will probably have a place somewhere in my mind. Remember 50% of all American marriages end in divorce so I guess I'm just playing Mr. Risk. I am fully confident we are in this for the very long run. House, Kids, Grandkids, the whole nine.

I appreciate your input and point of view! It really makes me think!

infinitesimal

I must say... outstanding word choice. I had to look that one up! heheh