Strange thing about locked threads

[rebeccajo 14]

Why are skins so thin here that people feel the need to tattle about anyone who says something against them or even just disagrees with them? I've owned several message boards, been a member on a lot more, and I have NEVER seen so much whining, tattling, and finger-pointing as I have here.

Because the way we are told to let admin know that someone is getting out of control is by PM or the "Report" button?

[Sinergy 3]

Why are skins so thin here that people feel the need to tattle about anyone who says something against them or even just disagrees with them? I've owned several message boards, been a member on a lot more, and I have NEVER seen so much whining, tattling, and finger-pointing as I have here.

If we're that vile to be around, why the hell are you here? Mags is a big girl - not to mention smart and capable - which is why I'm quite sure she can handle herself without your 'help'. And we get it, you detest Dev. You think we're all whiners and tattlers. You enjoy stomping around here and being an arsehole. Etc. and so forth. Duly noted.

I can't speak for anyone else in this thread, but I did not contribute to it to pick on or attack the mods. (I think they have a thankless, difficult job.) I am trying to come up with feasible solutions to the issues at hand. I'm sure that won't stop you from stomping on me, but now that I know your M.O., I'll be sure not to take it personally.

And if this now makes me one of the whiners/tattlers, then yay for me!

Hell Tracy, I LIKE you. Part of that preferential treatment.... I won't stomp on you.

The ONLY reason I posted to this thread was because I can only take so much before I have to say what's on my mind.

Oh. AND I quit smoking Sunday.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!! *claps*

[Mags 112]

If we're that vile to be around, why the hell are you here? Mags is a big girl - not to mention smart and capable - which is why I'm quite sure she can handle herself without your 'help'.

I just want to clarify that even though PlatyPius is my husband, his posts do NOT necessarily reflect my views. He is his own person; I am am not swayed from my own POV by him and nor him by me.

Thank you.

[TracyTN 237]

If we're that vile to be around, why the hell are you here? Mags is a big girl - not to mention smart and capable - which is why I'm quite sure she can handle herself without your 'help'.

I just want to clarify that even though PlatyPius is my husband, his posts do NOT necessarily reflect my views. He is his own person; I am am not swayed from my own POV by him and nor him by me.

Thank you.

I know that, mags. I have appreciated your input in this thread SO much.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Personally Mags has been there for me anytime i send her a message and has always replied whatever the issue is ... good job

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Hey all -- should we close this topic and restart under a new title to keep things more clear. Just wanted to see how I can assist in organizing the topic / discussion. Let me know!

Captain,

The things I personally would like to ask about are:

How can a member continuously attack people (either personally or through blatantly racist and openly offensive comments); be reported more than half a dozen times (I've done this), and be able to continue posting? And NO, I am not talking about H_A Captain, since you know who is the person I have reported on most occasions over the same issue.

VJ is part of our day-to-day lives, not just "another message board". We come here to find help with a process that is life altering.- And personally, I think there should be no place for allowing our racist selves to come up and bash people we know nothing about (talking about "race" here, no one in particular). Launching a campaign against Mexicans, Filipinos, Russians, Germans, Cubans or any other ethnicity in a site full of people whose loved ones come from those countries and are going through hell to be together as a family is beyond inconsiderate or political correctness, it is quite infuriating - where's our understanding? Our compassion? Our willingness to help?

My .02, as a member of VJ who is here to help and be helped.

Peace all, L.

p.s. I will be PMing Ewok and other Mods exactly this post.- hope I get a response.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Hey all -- should we close this topic and restart under a new title to keep things more clear. Just wanted to see how I can assist in organizing the topic / discussion. Let me know!

Captain,

The things I personally would like to ask about are:

How can a member continuously attack people (either personally or through blatantly racist and openly offensive comments); be reported more than half a dozen times (I've done this), and be able to continue posting? And NO, I am not talking about H_A Captain, since you know who is the person I have reported on most occasions over the same issue.

VJ is part of our day-to-day lives, not just "another message board". We come here to find help with a process that is life altering.- And personally, I think there should be no place for allowing our racist selves to come up and bash people we know nothing about (talking about "race" here, no one in particular). Launching a campaign against Mexicans, Filipinos, Russians, Germans, Cubans or any other ethnicity in a site full of people whose loved ones come from those countries and are going through hell to be together as a family is beyond inconsiderate or political correctness, it is quite infuriating - where's our understanding? Our compassion? Our willingness to help?

My .02, as a member of VJ who is here to help and be helped.

Peace all, L.

p.s. I will be PMing Ewok and other Mods exactly this post.- hope I get a response.

[cheeky^Wolf 0]

Grr I typed a big long essay and it's gone! (my error, not the invisibility elf)

OK I've hesitated on having any input on this thread for the last 2 days, following my warning for thinly veiled opinions and piggybacking on others comments. I don't see how I can comment without piggybacking and thinly veiled opinions seem to be running rampant in this thread.

There are 2 camps in the VJ UK forum. This isn't going to go away overnight, but really does need to go away as it's causing a really bad atmosphere. I would think out of everyone, the mods would be the people who would want this resolved as quickly as possible. The people complaining are not asking for an eternity of a$$ kissing and apologies, they're asking for acknowledgement. That's all. Acknowledgement that their complaints through the proper channels are not falling on deaf ears because of who they are. You don't have to name names, publicly humiliate or flog someone. I once complained about a mod and got the response from Ewok "read the thread, totally agree with you, I'll PM them now". That's all it took. I was happy my complaint/query had been dealt with in the right way and this person would heed the warning given to them.

As for members being rated on their valuability to VJ, damn right! If someone who doesn't or hasn't been through the visa process and only posts in OT is complaining about a member who supplies countless posts on visa problems and answers the poster efficiently and correctly, who is the more deserving to be here? I know personally that some of the people in this thread alone helped me immensely on my journey, and if it wasn't for them I would have been heavily medicated by now.

Now let's take this thread for instance. PlatyPius comes in and calls Dev names. Outright. No thinly veiled opinions, no code, nothing. I would like to think Mags has said something to him face to face. Do I know that's happened? no. If I ask, will Mags tell me? no. So therein lies the frustration. All Mags says is a disclaimer that her husband can call people names and she doesn't necessarily agree with him. This is just so wrong in my opinion. If it had been me who had called Dev names, I would have been reported, possibly PM'd and a warning would be in the thread to avoid personal attacks.

Also just for the record.. it really doesn't look too professional or fill people with confidence when even a Mod's husband admits to only being here to be an a$$hole.

Just my views. I don't have diseases and I'm not suffering from any withdrawals of anything, so this is me rationally saying what I think, no excuses.

[Mags 112]

The people complaining are not asking for an eternity of a$$ kissing and apologies, they're asking for acknowledgement. That's all. Acknowledgement that their complaints through the proper channels are not falling on deaf ears because of who they are. You don't have to name names, publicly humiliate or flog someone. I once complained about a mod and got the response from Ewok "read the thread, totally agree with you, I'll PM them now". That's all it took. I was happy my complaint/query had been dealt with in the right way and this person would heed the warning given to them.

If someone PMs me requesting I look into something, or they complain about someone, I DO acknowledge them and make it obvious that I am taking some action. You haven't, to my knowledge, complained to me directly so you do not know how I respond in PMs. Try it one day, you might be pleasantly surprised! B)

Now let's take this thread for instance. PlatyPius comes in and calls Dev names. Outright. No thinly veiled opinions, no code, nothing. I would like to think Mags has said something to him face to face. Do I know that's happened? no. If I ask, will Mags tell me? no. So therein lies the frustration. All Mags says is a disclaimer that her husband can call people names and she doesn't necessarily agree with him. This is just so wrong in my opinion. If it had been me who had called Dev names, I would have been reported, possibly PM'd and a warning would be in the thread to avoid personal attacks.

Also just for the record.. it really doesn't look too professional or fill people with confidence when even a Mod's husband admits to only being here to be an a$$hole.

My disclaimer was not condoning PlatyPius' behaviour nor agreeing with it; I thought I made that perfectly clear. I'll clarify again that my husband is his own person and NO special treatment is applied in his case regarding warnings and bans either. If he crosses the line I will have no hesitation in carrying out any actions. I'd prefer it if people could please see us as two separate entities and not just use it as another chance to have a go at me.

I have done all I can in this thread. I've stated that I will bring up many of the suggestions put forward here with the mods and the Captain; until then my hands are tied and there is nothing more that I can add.

[Fandango 1,439]

There are 2 camps in the VJ UK forum.

I don't agree.

Surely there are people who don't like one another in there, but as to the whole environment, I don't think it's a 'house divided' in the way that everyone has picked sides.

[LaL 418]

I have done all I can in this thread. I've stated that I will bring up many of the suggestions put forward here with the mods and the Captain

Please know we have already started discussion on suggestions we received in this thread. There is no way to immediately implement any kind of change, but know we are doing our best to create the balance you are asking for. Of course we want the atmosphere to be positive, we wouldn't want for any less and are doing what we can to possibly add some of your ideas into our M.O.

[rebeccajo 14]

As for members being rated on their valuability to VJ, damn right! If someone who doesn't or hasn't been through the visa process and only posts in OT is complaining about a member who supplies countless posts on visa problems and answers the poster efficiently and correctly, who is the more deserving to be here? I know personally that some of the people in this thread alone helped me immensely on my journey, and if it wasn't for them I would have been heavily medicated by now.

That's a good point, but.....but being a contributing member doesn't give that member the right to act like a duma$$.

Maybe because I'm NOT in Admin I can't see why we have all these problems - to me the solution seems SO simple.

Somebody types something crappy and they hit send. It then becomes a part of the forum. It's there and it's permanent for anybody to see. I realize that post tone and intent sometimes get mixed - but normally those issues get sorted.

I just for the life of me cannot understand why when the written record is there - why is it so hard to define what the poster meant?

If it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck it probably is a duck. I think most of us can pretty clearly discern which ducks are $hitting all over this community.

[cheeky^Wolf 0]

The people complaining are not asking for an eternity of a$$ kissing and apologies, they're asking for acknowledgement. That's all. Acknowledgement that their complaints through the proper channels are not falling on deaf ears because of who they are. You don't have to name names, publicly humiliate or flog someone. I once complained about a mod and got the response from Ewok "read the thread, totally agree with you, I'll PM them now". That's all it took. I was happy my complaint/query had been dealt with in the right way and this person would heed the warning given to them.

If someone PMs me requesting I look into something, or they complain about someone, I DO acknowledge them and make it obvious that I am taking some action. You haven't, to my knowledge, complained to me directly so you do not know how I respond in PMs. Try it one day, you might be pleasantly surprised! B)

I wasn't directing this at you personally. Lower the defense mechanisms! I know in the past, people have complained about members and have not received any acknowledgement is all. I was simply saying that in MY opinion, this is where communication breaks down and problems arise. But for the record, I did ask you during PM's last week if HA would be receiving any kind of warning (as I did) for her comments, and was told you cannot discuss that with me. Maybe because I'm not report happy on people and didn't press the button. Presumption on my part that my direct question would be obvious.

Now let's take this thread for instance. PlatyPius comes in and calls Dev names. Outright. No thinly veiled opinions, no code, nothing. I would like to think Mags has said something to him face to face. Do I know that's happened? no. If I ask, will Mags tell me? no. So therein lies the frustration. All Mags says is a disclaimer that her husband can call people names and she doesn't necessarily agree with him. This is just so wrong in my opinion. If it had been me who had called Dev names, I would have been reported, possibly PM'd and a warning would be in the thread to avoid personal attacks.

Also just for the record.. it really doesn't look too professional or fill people with confidence when even a Mod's husband admits to only being here to be an a$$hole.

My disclaimer was not condoning PlatyPius' behaviour nor agreeing with it; I thought I made that perfectly clear. I'll clarify again that my husband is his own person and NO special treatment is applied in his case regarding warnings and bans either. If he crosses the line I will have no hesitation in carrying out any actions. I'd prefer it if people could please see us as two separate entities and not just use it as another chance to have a go at me.

I have done all I can in this thread. I've stated that I will bring up many of the suggestions put forward here with the mods and the Captain; until then my hands are tied and there is nothing more that I can add.

Yes you did make that clear in your disclaimer, however, and again, this is an opinion on taking VJ forward, I think it would have been a lot more pro active for you to have asked him in the forum to stop the personal attacks. This has been done in the past. Consistency is the key.

Edited July 24, 2007 by cheeky^Wolf

[Mags 112]

Yes you did make that clear in your disclaimer, however, and again, this is an opinion on taking VJ forward, I think it would have been a lot more pro active for you to have asked him in the forum to stop the personal attacks. This has been done in the past. Consistency is the key.

Point noted, CW.

[Fandango 1,439]

The point is, EVERYONE feels attacked, and EVERYONE uses that as justification for attacking the other. This dynamic cannot be moderated by anyone other than one's self.

There are some pretty nasty things being said in here. I cannot for the life of me understand how one can claim the high road at the same time as contributing to the poo fling.

It's a never ending cycle which will only end when each party wants it to end. The mods can do everything under the sun....but finger wagging and punishments only go so far.