spouse

[kitkat1 5]

I am not mexican so that is not going to happen besides i love what AMERICA HAS to offer me.

I'm not sure if I understand what you were referring to -- that you will never relocate to Mexico? My point was that as part of a way to try to convince your husband to find a way to attend AA meetings, you could remind him that the only other choice would be for you to move there. So if you don't want to live in Mexico, maybe that would help him to realize that he has to come up with a way to get to the meetings.

[GabachaYucateca 0]

Where does he live in Mexico? I've found that even the tiniest villages have an AA program, and larger cities have one in most neighborhoods. The distance he would have to travel should be neglible.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I don't mean to sound harsh because I know there are place in Mexico where it isn't safe to walk at night. But seriously, if he wants to be eligible for a visa in the future, he has to find a way to do it. Maybe he could find someone there who drives and he could pay for gas so they drive him home. Maybe he can find a place to go during the day on Sunday. Maybe he has to move to another city. But if he wants to find a way, he'll find one. The best advice is this - tell him he these are the options: find a way to do it or your only option in the future will be for you and your daughter to move to Mexico, permanently. If he cannot prove rehabilitation (and that means documentation of weekly meetings and whatever else the consulate requires) then he will not be allowed back in this country. No visa. Ever.

Agreed. Morning and afternoon meetings are available, Mexico has a huge AA community. Besides, you can believe that folks from whichever group he goes to would be happy to give him a ride. Then again, he has to be willing. Sorry to be so blunt, but the 'safety' issue sounds trite. If there's a will, there's a how. Good luck Roxcee - I can see you really love him, hope he gets on with a program and loves you back as you deserve to be loved.

L.

[Roxcee 0]

I talked yo him about going to AA and NA but he seems concerned about walking at night, i don't blame him, i often wonder if he is going to make through the 3 years alive. he feels that it;s dangerous for him to be out alone at night and it is. I went down with my daughter about a week ago to go see him. He says that in order for him to do any of the programs he would have to travel far which would make him having to walk home in the dark. I was down there and where he is everyone takes buses and then walks to get to their house. i really worry about his safety and i just pray to god that nothing will happen to him. Do you have any advise on what i should tell him to do? ohh thank you for the lawyer references.

I don't mean to sound harsh because I know there are place in Mexico where it isn't safe to walk at night. But seriously, if he wants to be eligible for a visa in the future, he has to find a way to do it. Maybe he could find someone there who drives and he could pay for gas so they drive him home. Maybe he can find a place to go during the day on Sunday. Maybe he has to move to another city. But if he wants to find a way, he'll find one. The best advice is this - tell him he these are the options: find a way to do it or your only option in the future will be for you and your daughter to move to Mexico, permanently. If he cannot prove rehabilitation (and that means documentation of weekly meetings and whatever else the consulate requires) then he will not be allowed back in this country. No visa. Ever.

they didn't give us anything with requirements that he had to attend rehab i just assumed it would be a good idea. He was just told he needed to remain clean for 3 years. he has gone to get a drug test i told him he should get them done periodically but we'll see what happens. he's stayed clean them like i said he's not addicted he just has made really stupid choices.

[kitkat1 5]

they didn't give us anything with requirements that he had to attend rehab i just assumed it would be a good idea. He was just told he needed to remain clean for 3 years. he has gone to get a drug test i told him he should get them done periodically but we'll see what happens. he's stayed clean them like i said he's not addicted he just has made really stupid choices.

Roxcee you really need to understand the requirements for rehab, drug tests, documentation, etc. If they didn't give you anything, you need to contact them and find out exactly what they require. I would read the link to the information I posted for you (I think it was on I2us) and consult with Laurel Scott to be sure you are clear. If there is something you need to submit to them monthly or periodically, you need to know that now, and make sure you do everything according to their rules so you don't have problems when it comes to his reapplication.