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I would like help to persue doing a VAWA. What are the steps that I need to take?

Background info:

Married USC spouse 6 years ago. We have two children together.

Wife has been physical and psycholigical abusive throughout the marriage. Wife refuses to help with AOS says I don't need one as she knows of a Canadian who came to the states 30 years ago and has never done an AOS.

I live in New York and would just like to know the steps to take to eventually get a green card.

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