Love Wisdom

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I had saved this on my computer for awhile and unfortunately I can't remember the author but I thought it's worth sharing.

If you have any words of wisdom when it comes to relationships, please post it here.

No matter how perfect your intimate is, no matter how good a friend, how great a community, there will be things about the intimate other that you dislike or even disdain. And many of them, you will not be able to change. So, I have found that in successful intimacies, the emphasis is not upon conversion or changing the other, but upon adapting oneself and the relationship to fit the evolving realities of one another.

To change what we can, to bear what we must, and to find the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. People in successful intimacies continue to: 1. make necessary changes in themselves, 2. create a context that helps the other to make changes that they desire or that the other needs to make to preserve or enhance the relationship, and 3. continue to evolve the relationship. A successful intimacy is not static. It evolves; it changes to adapt to changing circumstances because the reality is that the world, peoples’ circumstances, and the people themselves do not remain the same.

Many people seem to believe that if you are in a good relationship then you do not need to

communicate because if the person really cared, or the community genuinely understood you, they

would be able to read your mind and intuit the needs of your heart. This is, I believe, a tragic

romantic illusion. The facts are that people rarely even fully understand themselves or know their

own minds and hearts; so, how, can we fool ourselves into believing that our beloved will intuitively

know our pain, confusion, secret needs or deepest hopes? If you want to be in a deep relationship, if you seek or hope for intimacy, you must communicate: every day, week, and year that you wish for it to flourish and endure.

[ChristinaM 0]

I decided this was too long to post, but always worth reading:

http://www.poetrybycharlescfinn.com/pleasehear.html

I alkso have an awesome book called "From This Day Forward" by Toni Sciarra Poynter, which I would recommend to anyone who just got married. It has around 250 little pages of wisdom. My husband bought it for my for our anniversary.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I decided this was too long to post, but always worth reading:

http://www.poetrybycharlescfinn.com/pleasehear.html

I alkso have an awesome book called "From This Day Forward" by Toni Sciarra Poynter, which I would recommend to anyone who just got married. It has around 250 little pages of wisdom. My husband bought it for my for our anniversary.

That has raw honesty...wow. I kept thinking while I was reading it, "This person is a co-dependent," though. I think all of us sometimes wonder how it is that another person can love us in spite of our flaws, but I also think its healthy for our spirit to believe there is One who always has and always will ...God.

Edited October 22, 2006 by Steven_and_Jinky