Grass not always greener

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Sorry, late to this discussion. DFH, how is stating he doesn't want the kids leaving the US manipulative? That is simply him stating that he doesn't want his kids to live in the PHL thousands of miles from him. Your going to tell me that if (due to a totally unforeseen circumstance) your wife wants to leave you and move back to the PHL, you'd be down with her taking your kids with her? I'd think most dads would want more interaction with their child than an infrequent trip back to the PHL. Child custody is brutal under normal circumstance, but a foreign marriage situation jacks up the tension/difficulties even more.

Children get used a pawns in divorces, intentionally or not. At the very least, bringing the children into the conversation, even if the person saying they want to leave the marriage included the children, is focusing on the wrong subject. It's like your wife telling you that she was feeling so sick to her stomach, that she vomited all over the carpet, and the first thing you say is that you hope you don't have to replace the carpet. In the OP's case - his wife and children lived in the Philippines for years with little to no contact from him. Most family courts in the states, would look at the amount of involvement by each parent as to how the custody of the children would be drawn up. And as far as I understand, Philippine law gives default custody of children to their mother. The OP were married in the Philippines, the children were born there and have lived with their mother all their lives up until 6 months ago. IMO, for the husband to even entertain the idea that the wife would not have primary custody of the children is absurd. And I'm a divorce' who had joint custody of my children. Emotionally, I can understand the sentiment, but reason and emotions don't always go together.