Can some one translate this from tagalog

[jrmejia 31]

Here is your quick solution.

Bring her to USA.

Wait about 75 days to until you marry (Give both of you time to start to know each other)

Don't get her pregnant the first couple of years (That way if you have to divorce her, then you are not bound by a 18 year payment plan).

Over time the true person and her intention will always come out. You might of made the best decison of you life.

But either way it's a win win solution for you.

If your marriage is happy then you win.

If your marriage turns into a divorce, then you hop a plane and go back to PI (Don't Internet Date This Time) and find a handful of girls to court and pick one to marry. Then you win again.

Good Luck.......

Silly as it sounds, we have a friend who is a therapy and she found out about me getting married to a young girl. She said she is okay with it as long as do this :"Don't get her pregnant the first couple of years" exactly what you said.

Thanks

[rlogan 2,036]

The first thing his wife said was "when you came from the phil. and showed us all the pictures, we approved your relation with her. But after we saw her FB and not one pix of you, we have double feeling about her ".

The pile of sincere, honest people who have tried to tell you to call it off is huge and growing.

Bringing her here is terribly bad advice. You've demonstrated little ability to understand or deal with manipulation. Bringing her here puts you directly in her manipulative clutches. She will be better able to isolate you from friends and family, use sex as a weapon, and prey upon your sympathy for having brought her here, invested the time and emotional energy, etc.

It is lose, lose, lose: Lose more of your precious time. Lose more of your money. Lose the opportunity to meet and marry a decent woman.

If I were mean-spirited and wanting to watch your demise, and I understood how easily you are manipulated, I would recommend you bring her here and pretend that was the best option for you. I would pretend there was no way to lose.

A person giving such advice would be expected to elsewhere make fun of you, post pictures to taunt you, etc.

Your inability to see when you are being toyed with makes it difficult for you to understand when "helpful advice" (not) is being given by someone who really enjoys watching other people suffer and likes to make fun of them.

[jrmejia 31]

The pile of sincere, honest people who have tried to tell you to call it off is huge and growing.

Bringing her here is terribly bad advice. You've demonstrated little ability to understand or deal with manipulation. Bringing her here puts you directly in her manipulative clutches. She will be better able to isolate you from friends and family, use sex as a weapon, and prey upon your sympathy for having brought her here, invested the time and emotional energy, etc.

It is lose, lose, lose: Lose more of your precious time. Lose more of your money. Lose the opportunity to meet and marry a decent woman.

If I were mean-spirited and wanting to watch your demise, and I understood how easily you are manipulated, I would recommend you bring her here and pretend that was the best option for you. I would pretend there was no way to lose.

A person giving such advice would be expected to elsewhere make fun of you, post pictures to taunt you, etc.

Your inability to see when you are being toyed with makes it difficult for you to understand when "helpful advice" (not) is being given by someone who really enjoys watching other people suffer and likes to make fun of them.

R, thanks so much for reading my comments and commenting on them. I am pretty sure you have read a lot of books. On my next story, I will tell you a story about the greatest boxer ever. A book that I read.

[crystal01 29]

This has been reading like a textbook of red flags for foreign marriages.

One of the affectations about Filipinas I like is their romance. They splash pictures of their loved one all over their facebook along with quotes about how they can't live without them. They put music to it with love songs and pink background, etc.

Not all of them of course. It is a general tendency, and that seems to be the kind of woman you would cherish.

Instead you have one that doesn't put a single picture of you up on her site - everyone in the universe EXCEPT you. Talk about a slap in the face!

It isn't just a matter of her not loving you. She dislikes you.

There are numerous problems with trying to smuggle pictures of yourself onto her facebook indirectly. She isn't even acknowledging your presence and like a puppy dog you're jumping up on her trying to get attention. A person loses their dignity, their self-respect, and the respect of others this way.

You deserve better, and it is never going to come from her. It will come from one of the millions of other Filipinas looking for a guy like you.

Ditto. I could not have said it better. What he said about FB - is exactly what I do and most people I know will do (except for the pink background & the music- that's bordering on excessive cheesiness. j/k ) I am proud to show the whole world (of fb) how much I love him as he is proud to let everyone know how much he loves me.

But seriously, why are you turning a blind eye on all the red flags and continuing head on? Have you even told her your doubts? Foreign or not, this shouldn't happen on a "normal" relationship. IMO

[rlogan 2,036]

R, thanks so much for reading my comments and commenting on them. I am pretty sure you have read a lot of books. On my next story, I will tell you a story about the greatest boxer ever. A book that I read.

You are welcome.

Yes, I have read a lot of books and articles. I've corresponded with some of the authors. Dr. Simon in particular.

We share a personal defect: too open, trusting, naiive, gullible - and we think others are just like us. All a bad person has to do is say "I love you" or "I'm trying to help", and it disables our ability to see what everyone else can see: they are using us. Taking advantage. Toying with us.

We are nearly incapable of accepting other people relish hurting us, stealing from us, and making fun of our suffering. We would never do such things to other people, so bad people exploit that to manipulate us.

I hate to see this being done to other people more than having it perpetrated upon me.

If it is any consolation to you, the research is pretty clear on one thing: Manipulators are self-loathing cowards. They envy people who are innately happy and that's why they attack them. As cowards, they act underhandedly and covertly - never in the open. It's always an ambush, deceit, and hiding their true motivations.

At the same time they believe themselves better than everyone else. Nobody else's feelings or desires matter in any of their calculations.

This should seem inconsistent: Self-loathing vs. belief they are better than everyone else. That's right. Remember, they are not normal people. They have personality disorders.

On the surface they can be glib, charming, and friendly. But underneath is seething, boiling hatred stemming all the way back into their childhood. It is learned behavior, and they have a lifetime of experience in camouflague and deception.

They are bullies that pick on people with this weakness of ours.

The most important thing to your life is zeroing in on your personality defect: admitting it and resolving yourself to fixing it. The defect is the inability to recognize and cope with manipulators. They can see you a mile away and are attracted to you like a magnet. Your life is far more dominated by their predations than you realize because they are actively seeking you out.

Cheer up. Always darkest before the dawn. Get rid of her, and cease all contact because the only thing contact with her will do is allow her to prey upon your weakness.

[RokNRich 7]

wow...just read this, along with a few of your other posts............

so many red flags....eject, eject, eject

I spent about a year chatting with girls online before meeting my fiancee'.....

My three rules -

Get their facebook link and see what kind of person they are, who they're friends are, etc.

Never send money

Seek educated while avoiding "party" girls

I think I dun good, but time will tell I guess.

good luck

Rich

[Tahoma 2,291]

The most important thing to your life is zeroing in on your personality defect: admitting it and resolving yourself to fixing it. The defect is the inability to recognize and cope with manipulators. They can see you a mile away and are attracted to you like a magnet. Your life is far more dominated by their predations than you realize because they are actively seeking you out.

Great post as usual, Robert. You hit the nail on the head...again.

It's one thing to identify manipulators, but, as important as it is, it's an entirely different matter to cut them out of your life. I hope jr quickly figures out why he makes poor choices. Of course, that would involve him doing the necessary work on himself rather than wasting his time and energy wrapped up in his latest little drama.

[DaRoq 36]

jrmejia,

Your story reminds me of a movie I once watched on DVD, Closer To Home. I know that some here might be offended by the depiction of a so-called "mail-order bride", but I think it provides an honest insight into the admirable mindset of many Filipinas, some members/beneficiaries notwithstanding. I would recommend that you watch it if you haven't already.

Note: The page I linked to is simply the 1st relevant result of a Google search. I didn't realize they are selling the DVD & other materials that promote marrying a Filipina. No violation of the Terms of Service is intended.