Advice...

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I haven't been on this site for about a year...

I was wondering if I could get some advice from you...

My situation:

I am a UK citizen and I was planning to marry a US citizen last weekend, unfortunately he called the wedding two days before he was due to fly out here a couple of months ago. He's reasons was the fact that he didn't think he was able to provide to me and he wasn't sure that he was ready to live in London.

Now:

He says that he has realized that he has made the biggest mistake ever and he wants to marry me. He flew over this weekend as a surprise and proposed again.

I know that I love him and we have a child together, but I don't know if I can forgive him for cancelling the wedding. None of my family like him anymore and they don't want me to have anything else to do with him.

He is here for a week and wants to know if I accept his proposal, so that he can start to make arrangements out there for next summer (I am a teacher and don't want to leave during the academic year), I don't know what I should do...

In fact I don't know what I expect any of you to say... I guess I would like to hear opinions from people who are not involved in the situation, a fresh pair of ears...

Any advice would be appreciated.

My first thought is that it was really irresponsible of him to back out of the marriage for financial reasons when he already has a child with you. But for the benefit of doubt, did he really see no viable way of supporting you? How does he handle other crisis? For him to come back to you sounds like he really loves you and wants to spend his life with you, but maybe his fear of failing you financially was debilitating. Most divorces are over money problems so even if you accept his proposal, you both need to work it out about how you both with handle money problems together in the future. The worst thing to happen would be for him to split after you're married with a couple of kids because he can't deal with the money issues. I'd drive that home to him - it's the 'for richer or poorer' part of the marriage promise.

[rebeccajo 14]

If I read the original post correctly his reason for calling off the wedding was fear of being able to provide for you in another country.

Now he can provide for you in America. But I don't see that his original issue has been resolved. From the outside looking in, it seems he now believes its ok for you to do what he was unable to do himself. Move to a foreign land and work there in order to help support your family.

[babybunny 2]

Make a VJ poll and let the members of an internet forum decide for you.

excellent advice.

however the Unicorn and gum drop posse are proble the best members on the board

to advise. brb - I hear them comming now.

[jamrok 0]

If I read the original post correctly his reason for calling off the wedding was fear of being able to provide for you in another country.

Now he can provide for you in America. But I don't see that his original issue has been resolved. From the outside looking in, it seems he now believes its ok for you to do what he was unable to do himself. Move to a foreign land and work there in order to help support your family.

You already know the answer, it's within your heart. Look for it while considering these

facts. What does MONEY have to do with love , marriage , family etc.? Calling off a wedding

without life or death reason is a BIG NO in my book, what has changed to make the light

bulb go on? Sometimes God work in mysterious ways....could this be a sign of what to come.

Consider the facts and your instinct carefully. Sometimes our families can be more objective

than we are. Look at this man closely through practical eyes. What else will he drop the ball on?

My vote...cut your losses and move on. Did he not consider the financial aspects when you both

share a child??? Your heart knows the answer....look to it for the answers. God Bless you.

[*Robert* 2]

Make a VJ poll and let the members of an internet forum decide for you.

excellent advice.

I agree.

I'm curious though... why does your profile say you are applying for a K-1 visa if you were going to get married?!

[babybunny 2]

If I read the original post correctly his reason for calling off the wedding was fear of being able to provide for you in another country.

Now he can provide for you in America. But I don't see that his original issue has been resolved. From the outside looking in, it seems he now believes its ok for you to do what he was unable to do himself. Move to a foreign land and work there in order to help support your family.

You already know the answer, it's within your heart. Look for it while considering these

facts. What does MONEY have to do with love , marriage , family etc.? Calling off a wedding

without life or death reason is a BIG NO in my book, what has changed to make the light

bulb go on? Sometimes God work in mysterious ways....could this be a sign of what to come.

Consider the facts and your instinct carefully. Sometimes our families can be more objective

than we are. Look at this man closely through practical eyes. What else will he drop the ball on?

My vote...cut your losses and move on. Did he not consider the financial aspects when you both

share a child??? Your heart knows the answer....look to it for the answers. God Bless you.

this is from " hugg a bunny " posse..