Yardies at Home and a Farrin (part15)

[dillon 6]

Good to see you Yaads!

[BunzTheMagicSnail 2]

awww i just read something soo sooo sweet

this may cheer some of us up ---> http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...p;#entry3032554

so heart felt

Edited June 16, 2009 by Bunzarelli

[StoneLove4Ever 0]

I have a question....How would you feel if your SO wants to have nothing to do with your part of the family...and your family did nothing to him to show that they have anything against him...but your SO said he "feels" it and doesn't have to see it...and then says that sometimes he wished they lived far away from your family so they don't have to see their baby.....

Any response will be highly appreciated...Thanxs

[*JG* 2]

I have a question....How would you feel if your SO wants to have nothing to do with your part of the family...and your family did nothing to him to show that they have anything against him...but your SO said he "feels" it and doesn't have to see it...and then says that sometimes he wished they lived far away from your family so they don't have to see their baby.....

Any response will be highly appreciated...Thanxs

I'd say he's a controlling ####### trying to seperate you from your family. Be VERY weary of that.

But, then again, I am jaded.

[dillon 6]

I have a question....How would you feel if your SO wants to have nothing to do with your part of the family...and your family did nothing to him to show that they have anything against him...but your SO said he "feels" it and doesn't have to see it...and then says that sometimes he wished they lived far away from your family so they don't have to see their baby.....

Any response will be highly appreciated...Thanxs

StoneLove I have been through this before and it isn't easy. What my ex didn't like was always going over there to hang out all the time. I am close to my family so I never even thought he might have a problem with this...he wasn't around his family much so this was hard on him. What I did is if I wanted to hang out with my family I would just go but on holidays and big events I would expect him to go. I could tell he wasn't comfortable and my parents never said or did anything to him either to show they had anything against him. Don't take it personal but do let him know that this is your family and they aren't going anywere.

[BunzTheMagicSnail 2]

I have a question....How would you feel if your SO wants to have nothing to do with your part of the family...and your family did nothing to him to show that they have anything against him...but your SO said he "feels" it and doesn't have to see it...and then says that sometimes he wished they lived far away from your family so they don't have to see their baby.....

Any response will be highly appreciated...Thanxs

well he'd have to give me a better reason than having a gut feeling. he'd have to be specific about why he thinks they don't like him

otherwise i'd have to explain to him that i can't ostracize myself from my family because he has a "feeling"

[DaDa 1]

anybody seen islandwoman? wonder what happened with the visa for her stepson (or daughter, can't remember now)..

I'm here - trying to catch up with ya'll. I got an email back the day of the phone call saying his visa was in the final stages of processing and he should have it next (now this) week. I just called the 202# and they said it was in administrative processing so not printed yet.

Congrats to Irie and Brooke!!

Jawi - glad to see you chica!

Hmmm..wonder what Quana's doing??

Well you know Quana is on my e-mail chain so one of the girls who is off of work for the summer because she is a teacher said her and her hubby and Quana and RG are supposed to be going out to do some fun activities. The other girl’s husband is new here too he just moved here a few months ago from Nigeria so I guess today her and Quana can tackle some good ole USA fun. Tonight the rest of the crew is supposed to be meeting at Quana's for a small welcome gathering. We all have met RG before but nothing like greeting him in the state of Texas. Times like this I wish I didn’t live so far away. I wanna go!!! But oh well such is life.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

I have a question....How would you feel if your SO wants to have nothing to do with your part of the family...and your family did nothing to him to show that they have anything against him...but your SO said he "feels" it and doesn't have to see it...and then says that sometimes he wished they lived far away from your family so they don't have to see their baby.....

Any response will be highly appreciated...Thanxs

I'd say he's a controlling ####### trying to seperate you from your family. Be VERY weary of that.

But, then again, I am jaded.

ok i'm serious again

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Hey all..so KPH has now sent my granny home AGAIN to have surgery to remove her breast..she has breast cancer..i'm livid right now...these ppl are playing with others lives...WhyTF would u schedule someone and then tell them you have no space or WHATEVA the Fing excuse is this time....

sigh sigh sigh

Ok..Jgay..is there any truth to this?

WTH could he be feeling that would make him say this? He sees you and ur family have a fantastic relationship and he knows MAYBE some of ur decisions u consult with them? I don't get it..have a serious talk...AND DONT U DARE MOVE AWAY FROM THEM UNLESS YOU HAVE TO!!

[dillon 6]

Hey all..so KPH has now sent my granny home AGAIN to have surgery to remove her breast..she has breast cancer..i'm livid right now...these ppl are playing with others lives...WhyTF would u schedule someone and then tell them you have no space or WHATEVA the Fing excuse is this time....

sigh sigh sigh

Ok..Jgay..is there any truth to this?

WTH could he be feeling that would make him say this? He sees you and ur family have a fantastic relationship and he knows MAYBE some of ur decisions u consult with them? I don't get it..have a serious talk...AND DONT U DARE MOVE AWAY FROM THEM UNLESS YOU HAVE TO!!

I agree! And don't stop going over the see them or having them come see you.

[BunzTheMagicSnail 2]

my heart and prayers go out to your granny legz

such is the nature of our healthcare

money talks and you know what walks

[DaDa 1]

I have a question....How would you feel if your SO wants to have nothing to do with your part of the family...and your family did nothing to him to show that they have anything against him...but your SO said he "feels" it and doesn't have to see it...and then says that sometimes he wished they lived far away from your family so they don't have to see their baby.....

Any response will be highly appreciated...Thanxs

Wow!!!! That has to be difficult. I am very close to my family and we have practically done EVEYTHIGN together and we are always together. Now my family does do some annoying things like calling early as heck in the morning. Like around 800 am at the least. Well it was no problem to me we are all early risers but to some that could be very annoying especially if you’re a late sleeper and my soon to be ex always gave me grief upon grief with this. My brothers’ wife is Jamaican and well she was the same way. She wasn’t into our family gatherings and she thought my brother was with us too much. My brother said he thinks it came from her not being used to it because her family was no where near connected as we are. Basically they barely did things together so our family bond was out of her norm. I think she knew we weren’t really feeling her because she was so standoff ish and even though we never did anything towards her I guess she could tell.

I think it just takes some time to get used to it. Maybe he is just grasping at straws and thinks the family doesn’t like him. Have you ever told him anything that your family has said about him? Like maybe you were just venting but he took it personal?. Did your family give you a hard time about being with him? Like maybe this has something to do with it. I wouldn’t tell your family how he feels because the last thing you want to them to do is really act different towards him. Hopefully in time it will work itself out.

I know you will have to make a stand and tell him like the other poster said your family isn’t going anywhere so he will have to get used to it but as usual this is another thing you two will have to work out.

Best of luck

[finesse 3]

I have a question....How would you feel if your SO wants to have nothing to do with your part of the family...and your family did nothing to him to show that they have anything against him...but your SO said he "feels" it and doesn't have to see it...and then says that sometimes he wished they lived far away from your family so they don't have to see their baby.....

Any response will be highly appreciated...Thanxs

I'd say he's a controlling ####### trying to seperate you from your family. Be VERY weary of that.

But, then again, I am jaded.

damn, jg

[SupportOAFJF 0]

my heart and prayers go out to your granny legz

such is the nature of our healthcare

money talks and you know what walks

UR SO RIGHT buNZ....thnx...my mother just told her to UWI? and anywey wey wi fi find the money wi ago find it..LOl..she nutz but we affi do wah wi affi do...

[Yaads 0]

StoneLove - So is he asking that you not do things with them or saying that he doesn't want to do things with them? Different can of worms imo.

If it is him not wanting to do things with them - Have you looked at it through his eyes? Not saying this is the case but maybe he is jealous and threatened of all the time and attention you give your family and how close you are. He came here expecting the two of you to be married and become your own family unit and didn't expect you to spend tons of time with your family which he probably doesn’t feel a part of just yet. Think how hard it's got to be coming into the mix - your family all knows each other, knows each others quirks and personalities, has inside jokes, tells stories that he can't relate to cause he wasn't there, has traditions he isn't a part of etc etc. That sure would be hard to be around and it would be hard to be around all the time. There has to be a healthy balance.

Maybe it's sensory overload - I don't know your family but DH came here and said we talk "different" and all the slang and short hand talk got to him when he would be around us all. He didn't like being at our family get togethers all the time cause he never felt he could understand exactly what we were talking about so he would check out - whether it be our "slang" or the stories from "back in the day" that he couldn't relate to or even be a part of the discussion. Caused huge fights for a while cause I wanted my family and him to get along and it seemed like the harder I pushed the gap just kept getting wider and wider.

I really had to step back and make sure that I was putting my husband his feelings first. Yes my family is my family and they always will be and I made that very clear but when I got married I was making the choice to make my husband my new immediate family unit and he should be first priority. Now not staying to cut out your family or never do anything with them but make sure that there is a healthy balance of where you spend your time. Make sure that you are paying attention to him when you are with your family as a couple so he doesn't feel like the odd man out. Make sure he knows that it is the two of you and not you and your family against him.

Now if he is demanding you not do things with your family and contact them then that is a whole other can of worms and he has some serious issues.

Just my two cents.

Edited June 16, 2009 by Yaads