WWYD - No more Responsibilities

[eklondon 0]

So, I have been married for 11 years come this April, Lived with my spouse and kids in Canada up until November 08. As a family we are very busy with sports, Dance, Gymnastics, school projects, etc. Since I have moved we can add to the list of try to sell our house in Canada. Lately my wife and I have gotten into few arguments over the silly things. Most recent is that I am here in AZ with great weather and they are still having issues with bone chilling cold. It has put a lot of added responsibility on my wife and has lightened my load to almost nothing but a 8-5 job. After work I go home and really do nothing. I've been told to get a hobby, work out at the gym, or to just get out and do things. The arguments arise when I (for example) am going to Yuma AZ this weekend to ride in the desert on some quads, modified golf cart and enjoying myself, when she is still in the cold taking care of our 3 kids, cleaning the house for every showing, filling out stupid forms, helping with the school work, taking the kids to about 8 hours worth of hockey a week, 2 hours of Gymnastics, etc. I know this is a lot for my wife to do alone. I feel guilty that I am not there to help and feel that I should not be having fun as it will upset her. I know many of you live far away from your loved ones and I would like to know if anybody is in the same boat as I?

(Sorry for the long paragraph)

[Emancipation 2]

No, but as a women and reading between the lines it sounds like your wife feels like she's got the bad end of the stick right now and may feel like her contributions to the family are not being appreciated enough.

I'd be miffed too if I was taking care of the kids and running ragged and hubby was playing in the sand dunes.. I'm not saying its rational but I would be. It sounds like your wife needs a vacation.. is there anyone around her who could take the kids for a couple of days whilst she joins you for a romp in sunny AZ? Can you send her a Gift Certificate for a spa day and arrange for someone to relieve her of kid duty for the day? Sounds like she needs you to pamper her and let her know how much you appreciate all she is doing to keep your family afloat right now.

Edited March 4, 2009 by Emancipation

[eklondon 0]

No, but as a women and reading between the lines it sounds like your wife feels like she's got the bad end of the stick right now and may feel like her contributions to the family are not being appreciated enough.

I'd be miffed too if I was taking care of the kids and running ragged and hubby was playing in the sand dunes.. I'm not saying its rational but I would be. It sounds like your wife needs a vacation.. is there anyone around her who could take the kids for a couple of days whilst she joins you for a romp in sunny AZ? Can you send her a Gift Certificate for a spa day and arrange for someone to relieve her of kid duty for the day? Sounds like she needs you to pamper her and let her know how much you appreciate all she is doing to keep your family afloat right now.

Some good ideas... she is not one to leave the kids and go out on her own, as an example I canceled my trip back so she and the Kids could go for a week to visit her sister. Other factor that have come into play is that she has quit her job (long story here). I have sent her multiple spa/day trip type gifts and they don't get used as she doesn't want to burden anyone to watch the kids for her own enjoyment. I'm going to look into getting her here for a weekend, maybe that will help.

But to make a point, instead of playing in sand am I supposed to just sit in my lonely apartment, by myself, with nothing to do?

Also I made the move her to almost triple my income, which allows her to have the freedom of leaving her job. It's not like I am only having fun things to do I work to provide for my family.

Edited March 5, 2009 by eklondon

[tmma 467]

No, but as a women and reading between the lines it sounds like your wife feels like she's got the bad end of the stick right now and may feel like her contributions to the family are not being appreciated enough.

I'd be miffed too if I was taking care of the kids and running ragged and hubby was playing in the sand dunes.. I'm not saying its rational but I would be. It sounds like your wife needs a vacation.. is there anyone around her who could take the kids for a couple of days whilst she joins you for a romp in sunny AZ? Can you send her a Gift Certificate for a spa day and arrange for someone to relieve her of kid duty for the day? Sounds like she needs you to pamper her and let her know how much you appreciate all she is doing to keep your family afloat right now.

Some good ideas... she is not one to leave the kids and go out on her own, as an example I canceled my trip back so she and the Kids could go for a week to visit her sister. Other factor that have come into play is that she has quit her job (long story here). I have sent her multiple spa/day trip type gifts and they don't get used as she doesn't want to burden anyone to watch the kids for her own enjoyment. I'm going to look into getting her here for a weekend, maybe that will help.

But to make a point, instead of playing in sand am I supposed to just sit in my lonely apartment, by myself, with nothing to do?

Also I made the move her to almost triple my income, which allows her to have the freedom of leaving her job. It's not like I am only having fun things to do I work to provide for my family.

It sounds like she needs a break, like Emancipation said, and I think it would be good for both of you if she came to visit for a few days down there in AZ..

best wishes.