Yardies at home and farrin (part 9)

[Jonesie 1]

There are couples on this board who may have seen each other over a span of three trips (each trip lasting about 3-5 days, so for argument's sake lets say they spent a total of 15 days together before paperwork was filed) and say JAEyes files, but she spent an entire two weeks (14 days) with the man - seriously, what's the difference? The fact that one couple saw each other three separate times and someone else saw her loved one once?

Yes she should tread lightly but if she feels this is it, then taking one or two more trips down isn't gonna make much of a difference if her mind is already made.

For the years I've been on VJ, I've seen posts like these. This isn't the first (and by far it won't be the last) time a person from ANY country says something like this.

JAEyes whatever you decide, just be careful.

I think they are looking at the total time they have known each other and been engaged or dating or whatever.

And, one trip in a resort area as opposed to two seeing where he lives and meeting his friends and family could actually make a difference. You have to get out of the resort fantasy world.

There are couples on this board who may have seen each other over a span of three trips (each trip lasting about 3-5 days, so for argument's sake lets say they spent a total of 15 days together before paperwork was filed) and say JAEyes files, but she spent an entire two weeks (14 days) with the man - seriously, what's the difference? The fact that one couple saw each other three separate times and someone else saw her loved one once?

Yes she should tread lightly but if she feels this is it, then taking one or two more trips down isn't gonna make much of a difference if her mind is already made.

For the years I've been on VJ, I've seen posts like these. This isn't the first (and by far it won't be the last) time a person from ANY country says something like this.

JAEyes whatever you decide, just be careful.

very true....i think like you said she is just careful in what she decides!

I agree about the whole time thing...wether it is all in one trip or over a few trips.......my thought is that you just get a better feel of who a person is after some time has passed because you experience them over time, on the phone and in person. I know that most of our time on my first trip was spent entertaining each other, not really talking. I think my opinion about visiting a time or 2 more is based on that idea, be it right or wrong. Although, if her mind is made up then any extra visits are a moot point!

I agree MLD.

There are couples on this board who may have seen each other over a span of three trips (each trip lasting about 3-5 days, so for argument's sake lets say they spent a total of 15 days together before paperwork was filed) and say JAEyes files, but she spent an entire two weeks (14 days) with the man - seriously, what's the difference? The fact that one couple saw each other three separate times and someone else saw her loved one once?

Yes she should tread lightly but if she feels this is it, then taking one or two more trips down isn't gonna make much of a difference if her mind is already made.

For the years I've been on VJ, I've seen posts like these. This isn't the first (and by far it won't be the last) time a person from ANY country says something like this.

JAEyes whatever you decide, just be careful.

You make a very valid point there. What really is the difference?

JAEyes...whatever you do be careful and follow your heart and your head.

BECAUSE HE IS TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE AFTER 1 TRIP AND 14 DAYS. Come on now!

I didn't see where she posted that he said he wanted to marry - from what I read she was the one who said she was ready.

And I know a lot of ppl say that once you get off the resort, things may be different for how she sees him but lets keep it real - if this is a GC relationship then he may choose to take her to places where everyone else (friends and family) may be involved and will hoodwink her, make nice, just so she feels even more comfortable. I think time is the best factor in making a level headed decision regarding marriage no matter what country the man/woman is from.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

rahtid the duppy bax Kimmy 2

[Jonesie 1]

Ok..dis here one is fi JAeyes..

1st of all chica how old are you? if you don't mind me asking. What in the world would posses u to want to marry someone u know on vacation in 2 wks? does it strike u odd that u AND ur sister both found "love" in the same place? did u go looking for someone or did they find you? He is using you for a green card my girl..yes mi believe inna love at 1st sight but lets be real with ourselves...have u even been to JA before? yuh undastan wah mi a write seh? if not u have a serious problem. u need to proove ur relationship to the embassy..do u know if they have criminal histories...girl don't be fooled by the blue waters and di glass bottom boat..HE IS USING YOU !!

A dat mi seh too - nuff ppl come a Jamaica and are amazed by di blue wata, white sand, "exotic accents" an meet a man/woman and BAM! dem inna love but naah unnastan wat di JA man/woman chat inna dem ears

Yes mi believe inna love at first site but no one has to act on those feelings immediately. Tek time fi know your partner - no rush wid "true" love. If you fraid di man/woman aggo lef, then check your true feelings about the "relationship.

This board is a perfect example - out of the 300+ yardie/farrin relationships, less than 20% of the couples are still together. Take American/American weddings - the divorce rate after the first year is 50%, now add an overseas spouse to the equation, the numbers for divorce are even higher. Not standing in judgement of anyone's relationship but keep it real - if you wouldn't marry an American man/woman after two weeks why the hell you ready to marry a Jamaican after two weeks holiday? Pappyshow...

Mi naah come pon VJ fi make friend (friend mi naah beg) but mi know seh mi aggo be the #1 henemy soon from my posts about this two week love affair

A so ie go...

I agree.

I've personally met lots of couples who did not make it. Or stay together miserable as hell. So many horror stories out there.

True, there are some successful stories..including mine. I used to say that Damien changed when he got here when in reality we didn't know each other. Things could have gone either way.

Jonesie - take the pole dance class. It will be so much fun. I take striptease once a month...good exercise.

you are one of the few from when we all joined a few years back that is involved in a happy marriage.

You take the class?! I gotta call you to ask you some questions!

[SupportOAFJF 0]

SUMPTIN..WRONG WID VJ !!

[sus 70]

One of my bosses now has a Au Pair to keep her kids..... Would you ever hire a Au Pair?

My friend has an au pair - She has twins that will be two next month - When she analyzed the cost of day care v. having the au pair, it was half the price. She has had them since the twins were about 8 months - this is her 3rd - The first got home sick, the second didn't work out - this one is wonderful. I would definitely do it if it were the best cost route.

[dillon 6]

One of my bosses now has a Au Pair to keep her kids..... Would you ever hire a Au Pair?

If I had more then one kid I think that I might since it would be cheaper then sending them all to daycare. Although there are a lot of people where I work that have Au Pairs and the seem to work out okay. You always have to worry about them moving on and you having to go through the hiring process again. I know one of the ladies here has an Au Pair and it caused quite a lot of problems in her marraige if you know what I mean.

[^KK^ 3]

Now Jonesie ...u know ur wrong for that super duper quoting.

Edited November 11, 2008 by kkholiday2006

[Jonesie 1]

JAeyes...My vote is for taking your time. Most people here have taken more than on visit to Jamaica. Just relax ya self gyal.

I know of a real situation. My husband associate (long story why i won't say friend..they don't talk anymore), which I know from my many trips to jamaica. I took him like my brother. I hadn't seen him in like 2 years and would ask Ryan about him and he would say he don't see him anymore. Anyways, so he got married to a US citizen after meeting her on the beach in 3 months. She came one trip and they got married on the next on. So long story short...we found out once Ryan came up that he lives in Maryland and very close to us. So we go visit...he is so show off...so he want to show Ryan ..ow im a liv... While at their apartment,she goes on to tell me the story on how bad he is treating her. It was so sad. She even said the pastor told her at their wedding Jamaica..that HE (the husband) would be the destroyer of the marriage. He was cheating with another lady from his job and he had only been here like 5 months. He stole her new sneakers from her luggaage when she was coming back to the US from the wedding. Then when he was coming up, he talked about how he need $100 US for a luggage. She should me this tiny luggage ..I broke down on the floor laughing. No way that thing cost $100. He is still cheating..taking her car and hanging out all night. And she admitted...that she should've just taken her time. It wouldn't have hurt to just take it slow. The true colors would've shown..anyway.

I have so many stories...don't know where to start. We ran into one of Damien's childhood friends on Valentine Day in 05. He was with his wife and infant daughter. The husband got here 3 months before Damien so we stayed in contact regarding the visa process. They invited us over for dinner one night and they fought the entire night It bascially boiled down to she got pregnant on her second visit to JA (don't understand unprotected sex) so she filed for the K1. Well after the interview, he found out she had 3 other kids and a baby momma he was living with. She was so angry cuz he left out a few details.

Oh yeah..he only told her he has ONE daughter..the man got like 50 pickneys in Jamaica. She wonder why he is sending $300 a pop down to JA.

That is definately a common story.

Andre had a friend who lived with him on and off, Paul. Paul "met", if you can even call it that, this girl through his cousin. She is Jamaican born and living in Canada since she was 17. She has one daughter and they were living with her father. So, she calls Paul in April of 2006 and they start this telephone romance. I spoke to her a few times in May of that year and she was calling him "her husband" and planning their August wedding. They had not even met face to face yet. Did I mention while I love Paul, he is an unemployed country boy who is sort of a drifter. He can cook like there is no tomorrow; but otherwise, has no real skills.

So, in August, this gal comes to JA to meet and marry Paul. The first week she is there, they marry. The 2nd week, they travel, visiting her family and friends. She leaves JA after two weeks and goes back to Canada to file for a visa for Paul.

We talked to Andre's mom last week. This girl has never been back to JA since. She is now filing for divorce. He never made it to Canada. They never saw each other again. Game over.

I kept telling her and him that they needed to get to know each other better.

Seems like for every 5 marriages, three of them end up with stories like these. Not putting blame on any specific party of the marriage, but how often do we read/hear that the man/woman knew the other person for a month and then started filing paperwork? Hell it took years for me to get to know my closest friends, so how can I marry some random man I met in another country after a trip or two and some phone conversations? whistle:

Now Jonesie ...u know ur wrong for that super duper quoting.

:lol:

[sus 70]

Now Jonesie ...u know ur wrong for that super duper quoting.

I was wrong = SHe drink di Kimmy wata! Now she quote police! :rofl:

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Jonesie u know smaddy or u went thru this? u seem a likkle defensive

Now Jonesie ...u know ur wrong for that super duper quoting.

I was wrong = SHe drink di Kimmy wata! Now she quote police! :rofl:

[^KK^ 3]

Thanks SUS

[Marie876 0]

JG....my mom was tellin me about glistening waters. i really wanna check it out. its a lagoon so the water shouldnt be too deep (mi fraid fi drown)

Lawny....thanks for the review. i'm not looking for a 5 star place..just somewhere to relax for a few days. i hope there's a conference so they can move us to a cottage

Sus...location isnt really a factor. just need a decently priced place. lance and i will be celebrating out bday month

my cousin hired an au pair..this girl from columbia. she has the money to pay so i guess more power to her. but she likes having someone there to help and the girl teaches her kids spanish which is a benefit living here in FL

[SupportOAFJF 0]

watcha mi ave 6 HEARTS !!!!

[JAEyes 0]

Hmmmmm didnt expect people to have such a big problem with me. i am not suppose to be online at work but i was so upset i had to post. How dare u people tell me that he is using me or not tru?????? Just cause we don’t know each other long doesn’t mean we are getting played. u people don’t even know Winston or me so how do u think u even have a clue about us??????? i saw the p;oll in here about how people meet & a lot are like us. So what is the big deal?????? i really didnt expect people to be so mean. Not that i owe u people anything but just so u know it was me that talked about marriage and all that he just asked about our future. I did meet his whole family. He took me to his house a couple times. my sister came to & met everyone and everyone liked us so much. His mom and sister talked to me for so long and helped me learn to cook a dish. They were so welcoming and loved me from the first day. They are so excited Winston met a nice woman to be with. The mom talks to me on the phone and tells me how much she likes me and how great it will be to be a part of the family and she will help me with the wedding and everything. Offered to plan things and have me just send somr money to cover cost and she would arrange things for when i come back so i can enjoy the wedding. She has never seen Winston so in love so happy. She cant wait to see us get married. When i was there i really felt like i was one of them. Helped by grocery and clean house and laundry and everythings. I even stayed one night there but bc they didnt have electricity cause of a bill, Winston was really worried about me so i went back to the hotel and he stayed by my side the whole time. If he didnt love me i dont think he would have spent so much time with me and stayed w/ me so long.

As for some of u people that sent a message to my messenger thing saying i was fool and crazy and not living in reality that was not nice or friendly. I really didnt expect this from u people i thought i was going to be supported but i quess not

[SupportOAFJF 0]

JG....my mom was tellin me about glistening waters. i really wanna check it out. its a lagoon so the water shouldnt be too deep (mi fraid fi drown)