Going through a rought time, needing some sound advice.

[Lee W 0]

Hi all,

I've been visiting here for some weeks now, and read with interest looking for comfort during this difficult time of waiting to obtain a K-1 Visa. Recently the time apart from my fiancee is really starting to take it's toll on us.

To explain, I have visited on the VWP 3 times in almost 18 months now, each time staying for pretty much as long as allowed. After the first trip on the VWP, I looked to try and obtain a B-2 Visa for the privileges it provides, with hopes to either find a place to study or find work and change non-immigrant status while in the US (at the time we were just looking of a way I could stay for longer so we could be together due to complications with applying for the K-1). I went to London and I was denied the B-2 Visa, because of my future intentions to marry. I was advised it was still possible to travel on the VWP, as long as I were honest about my Visa refusal.

So I did travel two more times with no problems. We applied for the K-1 while I was over there last, and received the NOA1 in mid May of this year. I came home, and we discovered it could be a very long wait before obtaining the K-1 (we were told by someone I believe at USCIS before my last visit that if we applied when I went over, it would probably only likely take 3 months at most). So naturally we looked to the VWP again to fit in a visit while we wait. This time however I had learned about the ESTA system that had just started up and they were looking for volunteers to try it out. I went ahead and did this, only to be refused by it.

You can imagine my confusion, and I phoned the embassy help line for answers. They eventually gave me an email to contact the consular. Long story short, they said it was probably because I had been refused a B-2 Visa before. I was advised by an email from the consular to make an appointment at the embassy for a B-2 Visa. I was due to travel in a couple of weeks, so I was given an emergency appointment.

I got to the embassy and was seen to quickly. I explained what had happened, and that I planned to visit for the birthday of one of my fiancee's children (she has two small children and is a working single mother) and to spend time with them all too. I planned to stay for as long as I could again, and I feel this is what led to the inevitable. I was denied a second time, and told that all I could do now is wait for the Fiance Visa, and that it could be upto 6 months after it was approved.

This hit us both hard, and since then we have been waiting. It will be 5 months this month since the NOA1.

I know that I have took advantage of the VWP, and I know that as long as we love each other and wait, we will get there. Yet, she is struggling and in turn, I am struggling and we just want to be close in each others arms.

If I were to try and make just a short visit on the VWP (as the ESTA isn't mandatory till January '09) and was denied entry upon arriving in the US, would this completely ruin our chances of getting the K-1?

I know we've been lucky, we're just struggling and any comfort at this time would help see us through easier. I'm also aware that it may be anytime now that we get approved.

Thank you for reading, and any support you can offer.

[rebeccajo 14]

Lee -

Once your fiance has the petition approval, I doubt VERY seriously that it will be another six months until your visa is approved by the consulate.

Whether or not to attempt another US entry might depend on when you last returned to the UK. As you know, each time you enter the odds ramp up for a denial. On the other hand, if you carry enough proof of your return; are resptectful of the officers at POE; and are forthcoming with any information they ask, you might get in.

I do think you are very close to the home stretch.

[Lee W 0]

Lee -

Once your fiance has the petition approval, I doubt VERY seriously that it will be another six months until your visa is approved by the consulate.

Whether or not to attempt another US entry might depend on when you last returned to the UK. As you know, each time you enter the odds ramp up for a denial. On the other hand, if you carry enough proof of your return; are resptectful of the officers at POE; and are forthcoming with any information they ask, you might get in.

I do think you are very close to the home stretch.

Thank you for your reply.

I've been back in the country since the end of June. It's just the uncertainty of not knowing for sure when the NOA2 will happen. Obviously I would risk being denied at POE, but I am not prepared to risk losing the K-1.

[Laura+Tom 2]

I think you are almost there. Judging by your timeline hopefully you'll get the NOA2 very soon.

Your not alone though. I last saw my fiance in August and will not see him again until February. It's hard but we get through it in our own little ways! Hang in there and soon you'll have the rest of your lives together.

[Cham 3]

I am truly sorry to hear this

but imagine some of us who have not seen our loved ones for over a year. YES it is painful BUT if you truly love that person , the wait is worth it because in the end YOU get to spend a lifetime together:)

I been apart now from my fiancé for 1 year and 5 months. If it was not for yahoo voice chat and the web cam we would go insane. we have not had the money for a second visit as we are saving it all for when he gets home so we can adopt one day.

If that is what it takes is to wait the 6 months..then do it because you are wasting time going through all this denial including mass heartache sweetie!

and listen to Lee (smart cookie here) I have to agree

YOU will be okay Hun and it will be over soon

after the noa2 is approved it goes SO much faster!!

big old VJ hugs!

Meri and Kai

Edited October 10, 2008 by Cham

[Lee W 0]

Thank you, Laura + Tom, Cham.

I do understand people are waiting longer, and doing what you can to give each other Solace. I really do sympathise. Trust me, we are using yahoo messenger right now, as well as other things and we are doing anything we can to keep it together.

Due to who we are and the lives we've led, everyday is an effort to just stop ourselves from breaking down. It's just these past weeks that have been the most difficult.

I will look shortly to see if anyone close to our timeframe has been approved.

[Cham 3]

Thank you, Laura + Tom, Cham.

I do understand people are waiting longer, and doing what you can to give each other Solace. I really do sympathise. Trust me, we are using yahoo messenger right now, as well as other things and we are doing anything we can to keep it together.

Due to who we are and the lives we've led, everyday is an effort to just stop ourselves from breaking down. It's just these past weeks that have been the most difficult.

I will look shortly to see if anyone close to our timeframe has been approved.

AWWW hun it will be okay!! I know you miss your sweetie but just think it wont be much longer

BIG HUGS!

[Lee W 0]

Thank you, Laura + Tom, Cham.

I do understand people are waiting longer, and doing what you can to give each other Solace. I really do sympathise. Trust me, we are using yahoo messenger right now, as well as other things and we are doing anything we can to keep it together.

Due to who we are and the lives we've led, everyday is an effort to just stop ourselves from breaking down. It's just these past weeks that have been the most difficult.

I will look shortly to see if anyone close to our timeframe has been approved.

AWWW hun it will be okay!! I know you miss your sweetie but just think it wont be much longer

BIG HUGS!

Thank you Cham, I really need the hug right now

[Laura+Tom 2]

Virtual hugs all round!

[rebeccajo 14]

Lee -

Once your fiance has the petition approval, I doubt VERY seriously that it will be another six months until your visa is approved by the consulate.

Whether or not to attempt another US entry might depend on when you last returned to the UK. As you know, each time you enter the odds ramp up for a denial. On the other hand, if you carry enough proof of your return; are resptectful of the officers at POE; and are forthcoming with any information they ask, you might get in.

I do think you are very close to the home stretch.

Thank you for your reply.

I've been back in the country since the end of June. It's just the uncertainty of not knowing for sure when the NOA2 will happen. Obviously I would risk being denied at POE, but I am not prepared to risk losing the K-1.

You wouldn't lose your K1 just because you get denied at POE. You would lose your airfare money and probably, though, be even more depressed if you get turned back. If you decide to give it a go, I suggest flying through Dublin. That way if you get turned back, at least you won't be physically exhausted also.

[Lee W 0]

Virtual hugs all round!

[Lee W 0]

Lee -

Once your fiance has the petition approval, I doubt VERY seriously that it will be another six months until your visa is approved by the consulate.

Whether or not to attempt another US entry might depend on when you last returned to the UK. As you know, each time you enter the odds ramp up for a denial. On the other hand, if you carry enough proof of your return; are resptectful of the officers at POE; and are forthcoming with any information they ask, you might get in.

I do think you are very close to the home stretch.

Thank you for your reply.

I've been back in the country since the end of June. It's just the uncertainty of not knowing for sure when the NOA2 will happen. Obviously I would risk being denied at POE, but I am not prepared to risk losing the K-1.

You wouldn't lose your K1 just because you get denied at POE. You would lose your airfare money and probably, though, be even more depressed if you get turned back. If you decide to give it a go, I suggest flying through Dublin. That way if you get turned back, at least you won't be physically exhausted also.

Thanks rebeccajo,

I will have to discuss this with my fiancee and see how she feels about it all. If it really isn't long now for the NOA2, hopefully within this month, we'll be able to tough it out I feel. I have been through the worst of it by being denied at the embassy (the second time broke both our hearts) so I would be willing to try and visit with that fear of refusal. I can live with being exhausted, I just can't live with not doing everything we can to support each other. Of course, I must respect her feelings and what she decides too.

I was worried that my ESTA refusal would be recorded, and whether or not I put down both times I was refused the B-2, or just the most recent one I was refused for.

[wifetobe 2]

Hi Lee and welcome to VJ

I hope you find comfort in all the answers given to you...everyone here is extremely helpful and in the same boat as you. It is very very difficult I know I only just got back from seeing my other half and I have three weeks til me USEM interview...if you check some timelines on here like mine for instance it doesn't take long at all til you get an interview. I would say 2 months at the most from your NOA2 if you have everything prepared and ready to send to the embassy.. if you decide to visit before getting your NOA2 or after, and you get denied at a POE, it will not affect your K1 visa status at all. But hey saving money is a good thing and it will help while the credit crunch is on that seems to be biting us all..

If it makes you feel better I got a good walloping and a grilling last week after the IO finally let me in...what a nightmare but it was very worth it!!! You'll be alright hon

[rebeccajo 14]

Is your girl pressuring you to come over? What do you mean - respecting her feelings and what she decides to do?

Americans have a tendency to be impatient. I've observed that a lot of people from the UK are a bit more pragmatic and have a more tolerant approach to lifes hassles. My sweet UK man was my rock during our process - he calmed me down and soothed me.

Am I picking up that your girl should learn to appreciate your steadfast qualities and apply them a bit to your relationship? That's one of the things I love the most about my husband - he calms me down.

[Cham 3]

Well here you go and I hope it makes you smile!!

NOWWWWWWW for the entertainment!!

YES REALLY..do not QUESTION ME!

HERE HE IS!! THE ONE THE ONLY GUITER KITTY

*sings* OOOH YA you are missing your babyyyy and I need some cat food

It wont be long till you see your babyyyyyyy SOOO freaking smile DUDEEEEE

OHH YAAAAAAA

hahah...SEE what lack of SLEEP does!

hope you feel better...WE VJers gotta hold each other up ya know