Recipe

[nodiscussion 0]

Recipe for a "case complete" at the National Visa Center:

Preheat temper to 100*F (government bureaucracy provides the best results).

Simmer piles of paperwork and $365 for 6 months over Vermont Service Center heat. Stir for 4 days. Transfer the undesirable part of the paperwork to the NVC, discard desirable paperwork.

Once paperwork is at NVC, allow to simmer for 3 weeks. Add $400. Stir. Add an additional $70. Spend another $200 collecting more paperwork, and mail in one small piece at a time, as per NVC's instructions.

Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

NVC will tell you that they lost something. Speak with under-educated, poorly-trained call center operator. Allow temper to cool before calling again. Repeat.

NVC will request paperwork that does not exist. Speak with under-educated, poorly-trained call center operator. Allow temper to cool before calling again. Repeat.

Call overseas embassies until you have changed two US foreign policies. Request emails to be sent to the NVC.

NVC will reject emails from embassies around the world. Speak with under-educated, poorly-trained call center operator. Allow temper to cool before calling again. Repeat. Simmer for four weeks until paperwork is rejected.

Call NVC and yell at operator until supervisor interrupts. He will turn out to be a miracle-worker. Follow all of his advice, and you will have a "case complete"!

[Amby 490]

[Jenn! 918]

Is that Betty Crocker?

[nodiscussion 0]

Yeah, it is. My serving recommendation:

Small slice of bureaucracy. Douse in 4 shots of vodka, top with NVC icing. Garnish with dark chocolate shavings.

The vodka helps cut the bitterness