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The in-laws

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I'm just wondering, how are you all getting along with the in-laws? There's this stereotypical in-law relationship where you just don't get along (we see it all on TV!).. is your relationship like that?

In my case, I thought we were all getting along fine.. until money matters came up.

Hubby and I are both in our mid-twenties, so when I got here, they were still a major part of the picture. We actually rented the basement from them and lived there for a year. Our phones were part of a family plan, but we paid them for part of the bill. We were an independent household, but we shared some things.

Now, we're in a different apartment, and we're breaking off from the plan because they (in-laws) were charging us way more than they charged strangers for rent (they rent out the upstairs too), and are making us pay for more than half the phone bill when they use 80-90% of the minutes. I won't mind paying for the fair share, but this is just too much. Lalo na, considering I grew up where you don't charge family rent and all that. I keep telling my husband we should just move back to manila where the house is in my name, and he won't have to work a day in his life, but syempre, it's no go..

Anyhow, because of the above-said situation, my relationship with my in-laws just took a nosedive. I know there's a culture difference, but there's also the fairness of it all. I might be being melodramatic, or overacting, but I guess that's the way I am. My husband understands my side of it though, so it hasn't affected our relationship at all. Maybe after some time has passed, we'll test the in-laws waters again..

What about your story? Are you faring better?


I-129F sent .........................8/08/2006

Interview............................3/23/2007

VISA RECEIVED .......................3/29/2007

Sent AOS package to CHI..............7/12/2007

Biometrics in CLE, OH................8/14/2007

Interview in CLE, OH................10/16/2007

GREEN CARD RECEIVED.................11/15/2007

Sent ROC to CSC......................8/10/2009

NOA1.................................8/12/2009

Biometrics...........................9/18/2009

Card Production Ordered ............10/01/2009

Sent N400 to AZ lockbox ............11/08/2010

Application received................11/12/2010

Check cashed........................11/15/2010

Biometrics (CLE)....................12/03/2010

Interview (CLE).....................01/14/2010

Oath Taking (CLE)...................02/04/2010

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On the flip-side, which is not what you are asking about, my Filipino in-laws are great, humble, and pleasant folks.

Cheers,

Sheriff Uling


[CLICK HERE] - MANILA EMBASSY K1 VISA GUIDE (Review Post #1)

[CLICK HERE] - VJ Acronyms and USCIS Form Definitions (A Handy Reference Tool)

Manila Embassy K1 Visa Information

4.2 National Visa Center (NVC) | (603) 334-0700 press 1, then 5....

4.3 Manila Embassy (Immigrant Visa Unit) | 011-632-301-2000 ext 5184 or dial 0

4.4 Department of State | (202) 663-1225, press 1, press 0,

4.5 Document Verification | CLICK HERE

4.6 Visa Interview Appointments website | CLICK HERE

4.7 St. Lukes | 011-63-2-521-0020

5.1 DELBROS website | CLICK HERE

6.2 CFO Guidance and Counseling Seminar | MANILA or CEBU

6.3 I-94 Arrival / Departure info | CLICK HERE

Adjustment of Status (AOS) Information

Please review the signature and story tab of my wife's profile, [Deputy Uling].

DISCLAIMER: Providing information does not constitute legal consul nor is intended as a substitute for legal representation.

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Hi Iya...

This kind of story is not unusual, most specially in US. Like us, Filipinos really value family so much, we are very tied with each other so when are living with our family, we dont need to worry about them, asking us for our share.

In my case, when my husband and I are just lovers,I really told myself that I need to be close with my mom-in-law since she is the only one I'm going to deal with. My husband is an only son and he just lives with his mom. Right after he introduced me to her for the first time,I was shaking to death how am I going to talk to her. etc. and that meeting started a very wonderful relationship with my mom in law. I haven't met her personally but I really extend effort to show to her that she is special to me. I sent her gifts which can only be found here in Phil.And we both said that we have same taste when it comes to choosing stuffs for the house and a lot more. After we got married, the more we do get a long well with each other. I call her most of the time through a free internet phone, when we talk it feels like we never run out of topics. I do believe that our relationship wouldn't change. Because if we dont get a long well with our in laws, it's going to be pain in the ###.

Iya, why dont you try humbling yourself and treat them exactly opposite of the way they are treating you.

Show to them that you care for them. If you know what your mom in law often do for fun, ask her nicely if you can join her. For your dad in law, give him gift if he is in collectibles. :)

It's so nice to be loved by in laws. :thumbs:


MOM's VISAJOURNEY

USCIS

02-15-2013-- Sent I-130

02-20-2013-- NOA

08-01-2013-- Change of Address

10-22-2013-- Transferred to Local USCIS Office

11-19-2013-- Requested for Expedite processing (R/T Typhoon Haiyan)

11-25-2013-- APPROVED!!! (after 4 business days!)

11-26-2013-- Shipped to NVC

12-18-2013-- Received by NVC

01-09-2014-- Request for Expedite Processing

01-10-2014-- Got NVC case number and Invoice ID Number

01-13-2014-- Expedite Processing Approved

01-17-2014-- Completed DS-261 (Choice of agent)

01-21-2014-- Pay AOS fee

01-23-2014-- AOS showing PAID

01-27-2014-- Pay IV fee

01-28-2014-- IV FEE PAID

01-29-2014-- submitted DS-260 online

01-29-2014-- Mailed AOS Packet and IV Supporting documents

02-03-2014-- AOS & IV packet received by NVC

02-26-2014-- RFE

02-27-2014-- Sent Corrected, Signed I-864

03-06-2014-- CASE COMPLETE!!! CASE forwarded to US Embassy-Manila, Philippines

04-04-2014-- Interview, 6:30AM @ Manila Embassy-Manila- APPROVED!!!

04-19-2014-- FLIGHT POE at DALLAS FORTH WORTH, TX

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-- My Beautiful Foreignay--

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My mother-in-law and I talk on the phone like 1 hour straight. We have same interests and we really get along well. :thumbs::thumbs:

She usually disapproves the past girlfriends and even the one that my husband got engaged into before. But he hee, I was approved right from the start. :thumbs::thumbs:

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Original plan was to live with my in-laws, save and move to an apartment. I backed out 2 months before I moved to US knowing the waiting time it takes to get EAD and green card and I will be spending most of my time at home. I told my husband that I am not comfortable staying for a long time at his parents house even if we are going to pay a part of the household expenses. I might do silly or stupid things and they will end up not liking me at the end of day. That is the last thing that I wanted to happen because they will be the only closest family that I will have once I got here in the US. I would rather wait and stay in the Philippines for a while if we are not going to have our own place. He got us an apartment 15 minutes drive away from my in-laws and my relationship with them especially his mom is fantastic.


05/18/07 married

05/29/07 sent I-130s for me & my daughter at CSC

06/16/07 checks for I-130 cashed

06/19/07 sent I-129F not waiting for noa1 but with printed online copies of checks cashed

06/25/07 check for I-129f cashed

06/29/07 transferred I-129f to CSC

07/03/07 received noa1 in the mail for I-129f

10/31/07 approved K3 and my I-130 except for my daughter

11/05/07 received NOA2 in the mail

12/01/07 received mail from NVC/yey we got our case number

12/20/07 went to St. Lukes and had my early medical exam

01/30/08 schedule for medical

02/07/08 interview, approved!

02/12/08 visa pick-up/cfo

02/14/08 POE-LAX

06/19/08 AOS mailed thru USPS

06/22/08 AOS delivered to Chicago IL

06/28/08 check cashed

06/30/08 received NOA1 dated 06/25/08

07/26/08 biometrics appointment

09/09/08 received EAD card in the mail

12/03/08 received interview letter for Jan 21 2009

01/21/09 approved for conditional permanent residence

02/02/09 permanent residence card arrived in the mail

10/21/10 submit form to remove conditions

01/21/11 10 year gc received

03/05/12 mailed my N-400

03/06/12 received email that they have my N-400

04/05/12 biometrics

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i don't really have any problems with my mother in law since i haven't met her in person.she lives in puerto rico and my husband wanted to call her and let her talk to me the problem is she really doesn't know how to talk english just spanish! hehehehehehehe! but i have a few spanish words so i may use it but she seemed to be nice we sent her pictures from the wedding..were planning to visit her one of these days..

goodluck!


Love is an unexpected thing...and when it arrives grab it with all ur heart....it may pass u jsut once.......

1_217966694l.jpg

11.20.07 : mailed I130

01.23.08 : NOA1

04.21.08 : mailed I129F

04.22.08 : NOA1

05.14.08 : NOA2 both for I 130 and I 129F

06.26.08 : medical exam 2nd day PASSED!!

07.09.08 : interview day! PASSED! PINK SLIP!

07.15.08 : visa on hand!!!

08.01.08 : POE SFO (home with my papi!)

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hi iya,

sorry to hear about your inlaws sa tingin ko lang sila ang me kaso..

i would like to say im very happy with mine.. i live them until our wedding. My FIL which i was with the whole day becausde he al;ready retired, takes me to walk around the blovk with the dogs, and we chat almost about everything.. we do shopping every tuesday, cleaning the house every thurday ( i do the dusting) he do the vacuuming)

my MIL (mother in law) is like my mom, like now we are going down to the ocean ad skates together (she is 60 years old already) she loves pets like i do..:D she paints and she paid for my wedding dress..:D

i hope nothing will change though..


dsc4670fl2.th.jpgfilflagpw8.jpg dsc4778yg5.th.jpg meandmike.th.jpg
Mom's I-130
2/12/2013- Sent I-130

11/20/2013-I-130 Approved

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Nakakainggit naman! Things really were going well with the in-laws, until money matters entered the picture. I guess I was just really disappointed with the lack of support they gave, and the mapagsamantala aspect of the relationship. Even my husband's cousin was shocked at the way they were treating us.

Regarding the humbling myself part.. I actually did that, and I'm tired of it, to be honest. One of my biggest shortcomings, as some people see it, is that I have a great big giant ego :P It was difficult for me, but I did it. However, it seems to have backfired in that she thinks she can walk all over me now. I don't have any issues with the FIL. He's fine. Really, there's more to this than I can relay to y'all, but there're sensitive issues.. Let's just say I did what I could, but I'm fed up.

I'm just glad (and yes, inggit) that y'all have great in-laws!

I should've done what raquel did.. Akala ko kasi, transition would be easier when I have more family around me, even if they're in-laws.


I-129F sent .........................8/08/2006

Interview............................3/23/2007

VISA RECEIVED .......................3/29/2007

Sent AOS package to CHI..............7/12/2007

Biometrics in CLE, OH................8/14/2007

Interview in CLE, OH................10/16/2007

GREEN CARD RECEIVED.................11/15/2007

Sent ROC to CSC......................8/10/2009

NOA1.................................8/12/2009

Biometrics...........................9/18/2009

Card Production Ordered ............10/01/2009

Sent N400 to AZ lockbox ............11/08/2010

Application received................11/12/2010

Check cashed........................11/15/2010

Biometrics (CLE)....................12/03/2010

Interview (CLE).....................01/14/2010

Oath Taking (CLE)...................02/04/2010

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I am proud to say that I am loved by her.... Haven't met my father in law coz he died a year ago but I bet he is a great person basing to what I heard from my husband. My mom-in-law is...great,fantastic,marvelous,wonderful,generous and i think if there are more greater adjectives i could use for her then thats it! She is awesome! I was with her last week for 2 weeks without my husband coz of some important matters and I came to know her very well. The best I could say so its just like I am home. And just yesterday,she gave me the check for the AOS:) :thumbs:

I think since both of us are mentors that makes the magic I can say!

Here's a picture of her with Remie! Lol :D

Vida Taylor

post-40030-1220213857_thumb.jpg

Edited by djazy66

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I'm just wondering, how are you all getting along with the in-laws? There's this stereotypical in-law relationship where you just don't get along (we see it all on TV!).. is your relationship like that?

In my case, I thought we were all getting along fine.. until money matters came up.

Hubby and I are both in our mid-twenties, so when I got here, they were still a major part of the picture. We actually rented the basement from them and lived there for a year. Our phones were part of a family plan, but we paid them for part of the bill. We were an independent household, but we shared some things.

Now, we're in a different apartment, and we're breaking off from the plan because they (in-laws) were charging us way more than they charged strangers for rent (they rent out the upstairs too), and are making us pay for more than half the phone bill when they use 80-90% of the minutes. I won't mind paying for the fair share, but this is just too much. Lalo na, considering I grew up where you don't charge family rent and all that. I keep telling my husband we should just move back to manila where the house is in my name, and he won't have to work a day in his life, but syempre, it's no go..

Anyhow, because of the above-said situation, my relationship with my in-laws just took a nosedive. I know there's a culture difference, but there's also the fairness of it all. I might be being melodramatic, or overacting, but I guess that's the way I am. My husband understands my side of it though, so it hasn't affected our relationship at all. Maybe after some time has passed, we'll test the in-laws waters again..

What about your story? Are you faring better?

Sorry about what happened to you and your in-laws. My hubby is the only child. My father in-law died like 11 years ago and my mother in-law live in Arizona while us live here in California. We visited mom like every 6 months or so if needed. I can't say anything against my mother in-law, she is amazing, loving, kind and very thoughtful. She always make sure we are financially ok. Everytime we go there to visit here she paid for the gas and she even give us extra money as our allowance, beside that she always make sure that her ref is full for us.

She even paid for our wedding ring. I'm so glad to have a mother in law like her.

Evelyn


29960_396648778323_615343323_4014936_8258670_n.jpg

Q3b5m7.png

Aug 3, 2006 Sent I-129f in to CSC

Aug 15, 2006 Sent in updated I-129f

Aug 23, 2006 NOA1

Aug 25, 2006 They cashed my check

Aug 30, 2006 NOA1 received in mail

Dec 2, 2006 NOA2 recieved in mail

Dec 12, 2006 I receive that letter from NVC

Mar 22, 2007 St. Lukes appointment

Mar 29, 2007 7:30am Interview

Mar 29, 2007 12pm APPROVED!!! PRAISE GOD!!!

April 10, 2007 Fiancee Arrived!!! WOO HOO!!!

June 26, 2007 Wedding

July 2, 2007 Medical for AOS

July 6, 2007 Sent in AOS (cutting it really close to the 90 days!)

July 8, 2007 USCIS receives i-485

July 16, 2007 NOA1

July 18, 2007 NOA biometrics

Aug 11, 2007 Biometrics appointment.

Oct 11, 2007 Interview

Oct 11, 2007 Green card Approved!!! You cant kick me out now Baby!

Oct 18, 2007 Welcome letter saying Green card is on its way

Oct 22, 2007 2 year Green card arrived!!

TIMELINE-I-751-Oct 11, 2009 GC Expiration

July 8, 2009- Sent 1-751 in to CSC

July 15, 2009- CSC sent back my papers saying its too early for 90 days expiration

July 16, 2009- Resend my papers 85 days before GC expired

July 18, 2009- Arrived at CSC-10:53 am

July 22, 2009- Cashed Check

July 27, 2009- NOA 1 recieved

July 31, 2009- Biometric Notice Recieved

Aug 18, 2009- Biometric Schedule

Sep 03, 2009- Card Production ordered

Sep 09, 2009-Approval letter recieved in the mail

Sep 12, 2009- 10 Year GC recieved

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Original plan was to live with my in-laws, save and move to an apartment. I backed out 2 months before I moved to US knowing the waiting time it takes to get EAD and green card and I will be spending most of my time at home. I told my husband that I am not comfortable staying for a long time at his parents house even if we are going to pay a part of the household expenses. I might do silly or stupid things and they will end up not liking me at the end of day. That is the last thing that I wanted to happen because they will be the only closest family that I will have once I got here in the US. I would rather wait and stay in the Philippines for a while if we are not going to have our own place. He got us an apartment 15 minutes drive away from my in-laws and my relationship with them especially his mom is fantastic.

I like your idea. thats the best thing u can do. my in laws are great. i been living with them fro 3 years now. i love with.


Service Center: California Service Center

Consulate: Manila, Philippines

Marriage: July 16, 2005

I-130 sent: Oct 27, 2007

California Service Center Recieved Oct. 29, 2007

NOA1: Jan 17, 2008

I-130 Approved: April 22, 2008

Received DS-3032/ I-864 Bill: June 3, 2008

AOS bill paid: June 18th 2008

AOS sent : June 30th 2008 Received July 1

AOS cover sheet print out: June 18, 2008

DS230 generated June 22,2008

DS230 PAID June 24, 2004

DS230 received July 3, 2008

NVC Case Completed July 14, 2008

NVC send the Case Complete to USEM Manila: Aug. 5th 2008

USEM recieved complete case from NVC Aug 8th 2008

paid debros aug 22,2008

Medical Sept 9,10 He passed Thank you God. God is always good.

Interview Date: Sept 29, 2008 at USEM Manila 8:30AM APPROVED!!!

Visa In hand: Oct 2, 2008 yahoo

POE Nov 17, 2008.

Green Card and S.S received Nov 28th, 2008

7420.gif

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Im sorry to hear about your situation but I believe in the saying that time heals all wounds. I am sure that eventually, you will reconcile with your inlaws. Just don't stop reaching out.


Removal of Conditions :

August 16, 2010 - Petition received by USCIS Vermont Center

August 20, 2010 - NOA1 received

October 4, 2010 - Biometrics

January 3, 2011 - Permanent 10 yr. Green Card Received.

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although we are not yet married..but i am happy that while we are processing our visa i have already come to get to know my future mom. we would always find ways to chat whenever we were on..and i just love her..hope it will not change when i'l meet her in person. :)

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I LOVE MY IN LAW SPECIALLY MY BYENAN

I LOVE MY IN LAW SPECIALLY MY BYENAN

basta mahal ko in-laws ko kc sobrang bait sila at kapag may problema and inis ako sa asawa ko sa byenan ako nagsusumbong then kakausapin siya sila kakampi ko waaaaaaaa


09/28/08-green card received

1-751

07/02/10-mailed it 2day

07/06/10-they received my application forms

07/13/10-received notice receipt(gc extended for one year)

07/28/10-received biometric appointment

09/23/10 GC approved!!!

9/26/20 Gota pproval notice

10/01/10 GC receivedd

event.png

I never knew how much love my heart could hold until my son called me "MOMMY."

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I don't have problems with my future in laws also. In fact when his parents came here for a vacation (they are also Filipino) I stayed at their house even if my fiance is not around. For 3 years and 7 mos now I have a smooth relationship with them so far. The only thing I don't like about his mom is that she plays favorites sa mga anak nya and that is extended to the daughter in laws. Apparently my fiance is not her favorite but oh well....


"We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose" Romans 8:28

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