The United States of America - my thoughts so far

[Damian P 92]

They will eat burgers and sit in the sun and look down on their former country and work on leaving it's culture behind and morphing into an American

That's one way of putting it. Of course, one could always look at it from the alternative viewpoint of the new immigrant making an effort to embrace the culture of his/her adopted home. And I don't think that means you have to you have to "look down" on your homeland as a whole, does it?

[ihavenoclue 0]

The dentist bills is what you get for having English teeth

funny you should say that... since i have been here in the US i have seen more americans with bad teeth than i have people back home...must be that ice tea with bags and bags of sugar and all that'candy' thrown down peoples necks

[Chelle62 0]

I have just read all the post on here to do with this topic. My fiance came to visit me in maine usa 3 times. Yes he found things alot different from England and yes he missed many things that he is use to.

He never complained about the American Flags being hung up. He did get quite frustrated with people wanting him to talk alot just to hear his accent. He thought we was all making fun of him but we wasnt, we just loved to hear the accent. He had alot of issues with fast food restaurants, going through the drive thru because they never could understand him lol. So my daughter would shout past him and say what he wanted but he got use to it and then started taking the piss out of them as he would say.

When I asked him what are some things that he hates about america he really cant find anything to be honest. Oh he says the food, well he sure did eat enough of it while he was here lol. Everyone was interesting in his culture and wanted to hear all about it , which probally does get boring after a while but hey we are interested. He did make comments about pick up trucks lol but he liked driving my SUV I guess he did complain alot about our roads, saying they werent marked out very well and that we have to many straight roads and no round abouts where I live. oh well get over it lol.

Now saying all of this... I have been in England with him for almost 3 months now and I can see the difference big time. All the shops in the town I live in close down at 5 pm.. boringggg.... My daughter and I now talk funny instead of him lol. I use to love the british accent but now it is getting on my nerves cause I keep wanting to tell them to pronounce there t's lol. He says people are friendlier here in england then america well I dont see that as noone ever says hello when your walking down the sidewalk. In maine people say good morning, hello etc. He cant find a good beer in america and here in England there is way to many for me to choose lol.

Our cultures are different yes, as far as the american flag , I do not have one hanging from my house but I do have respect for the flag. If I ever do decide to hang one , I will also hang the British flag right beside it.

The biggest thing that I have noticed between the two countrys is the TV. In america we dont show alot of nudity unless it is in a movie, here it is on every channel , but that is ok with me. I am impressed with the way people treat you here as far as if you are overweight, they dont seem to care at all and on tv you see normal people, skinny, overweight , pretty , not so pretty, make up or no make up ... hair not perfectly done like it is in america. In america the men , not all but alot prefer small women , here they dont care as much, they go for what is inside not out so that is a great thing. also I have found that in England there is less drama and even though I am american , DRAMA is huge there. Another thing that my fiance noticed.

ALL in all I would love to live in England for some reasons and that is it is beautiful here and where I am so very peaceful, I am not afraid to go out at night and walk down the road, I am not afraid to let my daughter go outside at night but at home it is completely different. I have lived in america for 46 years and you will not catch me going for a walk after dark alone or letting my children play outside after dark unless I am sitting out there with them.

So you see there is alot of good things about america and alot of bad things about america but isnt that the way it is in all countries. We can all sit here and say this is bad and this is good but that is our opinions.

My first week in England I was told that we have no history and I hear that alot from my future father in law whom I love so much , he is awesome. TO him we dont but to us that live there we do have history , maybe not as old as England but its still history to us.

Soon my fiance and I will be moving back to america and yes he will have a hard time at first but nothing like when he first came over as now he is aware of what to expect. He will adjust and be fine and if not then he can always go back to england for a visit and get a rush from his own country ...

If I had to choose where to live , I dont honestly know which I would choose... I have a hard time with driving on the wrong side of the road, steering wheel in the wrong place... having to park a car in a car park and walking to where ever you want to go or getting on a bus to get there. I am use to going to big stores like walmart and just parking my car in front of the store and going shopping lol. I do have a hard time with the little shops over here so you all got to admit that the stores are alot better in america...

I think it is great to give your opinions and I take no disrespect from anyone that has anything bad to say about my country. It is your choice if you like it or not. I just wanted to give my opinion on what my fiance and I have both had to say about America and England.

At the end of the day... I dont care what the country is like as long as I am in the arms of my man because my home is where he is.

Much love to you ( from a american citizen )

Chelle

[Gemmie 142]

That was a nice post.

I have a hard time with driving on the wrong side of the road, steering wheel in the wrong place... having to park a car in a car park and walking to where ever you want to go or getting on a bus to get there. I am use to going to big stores like walmart and just parking my car in front of the store and going shopping lol. I do have a hard time with the little shops over here so you all got to admit that the stores are alot better in america...

Nah, I don't agree with that part, the shopping part I mean. I don't see what's wrong with having to walk from a car park to a store. Many times over there, I would see people parking as close as they could to the door, even when the weather was gorgeous, as if that few extra feet of walking would kill them.

Me not being able to drive, I love being able to jump on a bus that takes me to wherever, or being able to walk there. The little shops are quite nice, I find. Of course we still have big supermarkets and warehouse kind of stores like Asda, Woolworths, Tesco... but going into town to look around the shops with a friend is something I really like to do, and can't do that in America, where I have to wait before I can go out (there are no sidewalks, just roads)... then drive to one place, park outside and get what's needed. Unless you go to a mall where it's pretty much the same, little stores.

Personal preference, of course. But my shopping experience over there (minus the prices) hasn't been that great.

[Damian P 92]

Nah, I don't agree with that part, the shopping part I mean. I don't see what's wrong with having to walk from a car park to a store. Many times over there, I would see people parking as close as they could to the door, even when the weather was gorgeous, as if that few extra feet of walking would kill them.

Exactly! I tell ya, 'er indoors is terrible for this. She'll drive right up as close as she can, even if it means waiting for a space when there's shedloads a couple of rows down - retarded!

Personal preference, of course. But my shopping experience over there (minus the prices) hasn't been that great.

You won't be getting those killer deals for much longer - the pound is in ###### freefall right now. Down to $1.72 this morning. Absolutely bloody typical, just when I'm planning on moving over there!!

[Gemmie 142]

No way! And I'm exchanging money this week too for my trip.

[Captain Oates 910]

They will eat burgers and sit in the sun and look down on their former country and work on leaving it's culture behind and morphing into an American

That's one way of putting it. Of course, one could always look at it from the alternative viewpoint of the new immigrant making an effort to embrace the culture of his/her adopted home. And I don't think that means you have to you have to "look down" on your homeland as a whole, does it?

It certainly doesn't but some posters are really scathing about Britain - a country which nurtured them and paid for their birth - free !

I suppose such folk lived in inner cities and never did absorb any of the positive virtues of British culture - living only in underclass society - and therefore they see only positive things about their emigration. If that is the case then good luck to them and they have improved their lives and why not morph into an american - it is the best thing for them and america

My american wife worked in england last year and couldn't hear here work mates because they 'spoke so quietly'

When I turn on american TV, everyone is shouting and bawling and it hurts my ears and i turn the telly down but it's still irritating. Little things like that mark out cultural differences but I bet a lot of emigrants never even notice such things because they are insensitive or lived in families like that in england. I am not a money snob because I have been hungry - but I am a behavior snob because good behavior costs nothing. I am not talking about table manners - I am talking about swearing, name calling, loudness, violence, ignorance etc. The UK has a full quota of all that as well as the US but the US version is carried on at full volume and with no self consciousness and I don't want to absorb that aspect of american culture

I value quiet, reasoned discussion and everyone screaming at each other and referring to inserting things into human bottoms in every sentence is a difference I will never be reconciled to. I have been desensitised to 'you are a very special person' and flags and dog howls of approval etc, but the sheer volume and vulgarity and violence of US TV still has it's original impact even after several years of exposure.

I do things the american way and refer to 'checks' and trunks and hoods and drive according to american customs and even eat with a fork, and gulp my food down, tip big and leave the restaurant quickly - so I have absorbed many american ways - and i even do a good wisconsin accent if the waitress can't understand me...

But there are certain american ways which i reject , and I know I will never absorb them. I am pleased that I retain British ways in these matters, in the same way that a pakistani moslem girl in england might be proud that she keeps the ways of her people and doesn't sleep around like the girls on the local council estate

Nobody would think the worse of such a girl for not integrating into the local customs, so I hope I can stay english in some ways . How can this girl avoid being accused of acting 'superior', and therefore being called a snob? Of course she does secretly. I want to keep some of my cultural ways too.

But I am STILL here so I am not sat here calling every american custom bad. I am not extoling the virtues of england as though there were no serious downside. I am picking the good stuff from both societies but deriding the bad stuff in both societies. Doing that is ok in england but americans are super sensitive to any criticism and just say 'go home'.

That is a major cultural difference and I haven't figured out whether it is brainwashing or a deep insecurity

[ginger1981 0]

The world war 2 thing doesn't hold water when you think the US sat back for 2 years and let 40 thousand Brits get killed in the blitz and the US never did declare war on Germany - Germany declared war on the USA after pearl harbour.

Both the US and Britain did not win the war - it was Russia. Russia rolled em back from Stalingrad in 1942 and lost 20 million dead and broke into Berlin and caused Hitler's suicide. The Brits and Americans played a lesser role.

My grandfather was killed by the Germans when my dad was 18 months old and my father fought in the jungle in Burma and didn't get home until 1946 - and I know they didn't see it as principled or heroic - they were conscripted and dismayed when they were called up. They would curl their lips at this hero stuff - they suffered because they had no choice. Many Americans were in the same boat in Vietnam and didn't deserve to be put down when they got back and many didn't deserve the hero thing either. They were just guys doing their best to survive.

Yes I have nightmares about nancy grace ! I hope she is never on a jury trying me. Any young man contemplating marriage should be asked the question - what will you do if she turns into nancy grace in 30 years time ?

I think the US is becoming more moral and civilised but it's taking it's time getting there. It was late with abolishing slavery after the UK. It was late with votes for women after the UK. It was late into the war (both). It is late with universal health and gay rights etc. But it gets there eventually and I think the people are leading the politicians right now.

My maternal grandfather, who I was very close to growing up fought in New Guinea. For his country he withstood his friends getting killed, getting malaria twice and being sent back to battle every time after, and then finally getting a ticket home after getting jungle rot. Before the war he was a robust young man, and he came home sick and he never fully recovered...it is amazing he lived to be 84 with all the health complications he suffered in his life. After the war...and especially in the last 10 years of his life...he received all sorts of honors from the local community and was asked to come to different honors functions and was even given a high school diploma since he wasn't able to finish school before getting drafted...

But never once did he ask to be recognized or shown respect due to that...don't get me wrong I respect anyone who has given such service but I find the whole attitude these days that just because they are a veteran makes them qualified to lead the country or even to demand respect based only upon military service as rather grating. Their service is to be admired, but there are other admirable people out there too feeding the hungry and working with the sick in the Peace Corps or Americorps who make huge sacrifices but never reap any of the respect or admiration those going to war receive.

The whole "war glory" thing, to me comes from a few veterans and a whole lot of people who never stepped foot on a battlefield. I think there is a vicarious wish of them to have that experience and express it through the chest beating patriotism that has taken hold in recent years.

It is ironic thinking how this attitude has proliferated considering it was General Patton himself who stated "If everyone is thinking alike, then someone isn't thinking."

Edited September 2, 2008 by ginger1981

[Damian P 92]

It certainly doesn't but some posters are really scathing about Britain - a country which nurtured them and paid for their birth - free !

Tbf, the only poster on this thread whose contribution to it in terms of denigrating Britain could conceivably be described as "scathing", is ALC - an American!

[Captain Oates 910]

It certainly doesn't but some posters are really scathing about Britain - a country which nurtured them and paid for their birth - free !

Tbf, the only poster on this thread whose contribution to it in terms of denigrating Britain could conceivably be described as "scathing", is ALC - an American!

Somehow it isn't as bad when it comes from an american, they are entitled to prefer their own culure in every way, but when i hear a brit seeing NOTHING about the UK that they like, then I think that they missed a lot of good things in british culture while they were there.

I had to point out to my american wife to say 'please' when she ordered a drink at the bar in england and she didnt see the necessity and said 'why should i kiss their ### - i am doing THEM a favour'

She preferred to say 'gimme a beer'

Eventually she got it and was rewarded with a smile every time. It's that kind of custom that I want to retain although I am not sure how american bar staff regard me for doing it - they probably think i am gay and trying to get off with em- or just effeminate

[Barry and Jackie 0]

It certainly doesn't but some posters are really scathing about Britain - a country which nurtured them and paid for their birth - free !

Tbf, the only poster on this thread whose contribution to it in terms of denigrating Britain could conceivably be described as "scathing", is ALC - an American!

Somehow it isn't as bad when it comes from an american, they are entitled to prefer their own culure in every way, but when i hear a brit seeing NOTHING about the UK that they like, then I think that they missed a lot of good things in british culture while they were there.

I had to point out to my american wife to say 'please' when she ordered a drink at the bar in england and she didnt see the necessity and said 'why should i kiss their ### - i am doing THEM a favour'

She preferred to say 'gimme a beer'

Eventually she got it and was rewarded with a smile every time. It's that kind of custom that I want to retain although I am not sure how american bar staff regard me for doing it - they probably think i am gay and trying to get off with em- or just effeminate

Its quite an eye opener reading what you mention above and makes me realise all the more how vast a country the US is! From one state to the next the people can be so very different, just like in the UK, but the difference in size causes these differences to cross over and mix. To me the US states are more like countries due to their size and although the UK is of course a group of countries the closeness of it all brings, or should I say forces everyone to mix that little bit more.

I will be moving to Albuquerque very soon to be with my fiancée and I have to say that my experiences from when I have been over to the US are very different from your own. Sure I have met the unpolite, but for instance when I have been to a bar and ordered a drink, they have always been very polite. Yes, of course I'm sure I will meet a person serving me who is unpolite but what I am trying to say is that from one city to the next, or from one state to the next, your experiences, my experiences and everyone elses could, and will be very much different.

Edited September 2, 2008 by Barry and Jackie

[Jeraly 4]

I had to point out to my american wife to say 'please' when she ordered a drink at the bar in england and she didnt see the necessity and said 'why should i kiss their ### - i am doing THEM a favour'

She preferred to say 'gimme a beer'

Eventually she got it and was rewarded with a smile every time. It's that kind of custom that I want to retain although I am not sure how american bar staff regard me for doing it - they probably think i am gay and trying to get off with em- or just effeminate

Jeremy does the same thing - I notice it especially at drive thrus but mainly when ordering food in general as his request tends to start "Lemme get..." It does drive me a little nuts... I think maybe I should start correcting him on it asap as when we have kids I so don't want them to be perceived as rude, even if it is a "cultural" thing

[Captain Oates 910]

Yes, of course I'm sure I will meet a person serving me who is unpolite but what I am trying to say is that from one city to the next, or from one state to the next, your experiences, my experiences and everyone elses could, and will be very much different.

Yes in this case it was the person ordering, (my wife) who seemed impolite to the Brits as she doesn't (didn't used to) say 'please'.

To an american, they would probably think it was a bit fishy for someone to say 'please'

It doesn't sound right - when the cowboy slumps at the bar all covered in dust and says 'hey bartender - gimme a shot of red eye - please ' No it doesn't sound right.

Like me going into walmart and they say 'how wonderful for you to visit us today - how are you?' - and I just say 'Hi' and inwardly recoil, it's a cultural thing

It's just custom and you get used to what is done to you as the foreigner - reading the native, and why they frown is harder

Your point about different cities is spot on - 400 yards from me right now they are firing .45 handguns and roping calves(dogies), from horseback. They wear big hats and chaps and there are rattle snakes here 100 yards away. The men and women all weigh 300lbs and have massive pick ups and big guts and go to church and their school age daughters dont get pregnant. The next city west is Seattle which is all Japanese/Chinese etc studying hard at university and having gay relationships if they are so inclined - a totally different world - a totally different culture, but they faint with pride and cry with emotion at the sight of the FLAG

I could be a chameleon and try to do as the locals here, but I prefer to bring a piece of my culture along and who knows, some of em might borrow a small piece from me.

Now that's what I call evangelism old fruit !

Edited September 2, 2008 by saywhat

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Hmmm...I always say please when ordering something. It never occurred to me that it would seem like a$$-kissing or unusual. I'm the USC, and I'd consider "Give me a beer" pretty rude. When ordering in a restaurant, "I'll have..." (without the "please") would be acceptable if a bit formal, but I'd never heard of anyone in the service industry questioning someone saying "please." I've worked in various service jobs and can't get my head around the idea that someone would question your motives if you're polite.

My husband is English and I've spent a lot of time over there. I don't think there's a huge difference between the U.S. and England in terms of common politeness. My husband actually thinks that Americans are more polite (he's been here for 3 1/2 years). I was surprised to hear that!

Saywhat, it sounds like you're living in some kind of backwater redneck hell. I'm the first to admit that the U.S. is a crazy place in many ways, but common courtesy is always appreciated.

[Captain Oates 910]

Hmmm...I always say please when ordering something. It never occurred to me that it would seem like a$$-kissing or unusual. I'm the USC, and I'd consider "Give me a beer" pretty rude. When ordering in a restaurant, "I'll have..." (without the "please") would be acceptable if a bit formal, but I'd never heard of anyone in the service industry questioning someone saying "please." I've worked in various service jobs and can't get my head around the idea that someone would question your motives if you're polite.

My husband is English and I've spent a lot of time over there. I don't think there's a huge difference between the U.S. and England in terms of common politeness. My husband actually thinks that Americans are more polite (he's been here for 3 1/2 years). I was surprised to hear that!

Saywhat, it sounds like you're living in some kind of backwater redneck hell. I'm the first to admit that the U.S. is a crazy place in many ways, but common courtesy is always appreciated.

You are right that 'excuse me' etc is heard a lot more in the US than the UK and lots of other pleasantries too ..but..

I used to work for an Atlanta based company so I experienced dozens of U.S. employees coming over to the UK over decades and I can't remember any of them saying 'please' when ordering a beer at the bar. They were more than polite at every other time with fellow employees etc but 'serving staff' and airline staff were treated with much less consideration. It's not that they are impolite, it's just that the conventions are different in different circumstances.

My american boss had his baggage temporarily lost by the airline - they called him at the hotel at 9.30pm when i was with him. The customer services guy said they had located it and would fly it to Leeds from London in 30 minutes time and pay for a taxi to bring it to his hotel. He said 'If you think I am going to say thank you - you are out of your effing mind!' and slammed the phone down

Do you remember the waldorf salad episode of fawlty towers - it's not far off being an accurate stereotype sometimes - john cleese was married to an american at the time (Connie Booth) so he would have a feel for the cultural differences.

The customer says 'fawlty i am going to bust your butt' and fawlty shouts to the chef that he will 'break his bottom'

Americans are ok until they are not ok and then watch out - that over politeness disappears pretty darned quick and the raw aggression of the frontier surfaces

I was in georgia a lot in the 80's and the whites were incredibly polite to the blacks - calling them 'sir' and holding doors open for them

Out of earshot they were soon N's again

It was then that I gained the impression that Americans are more polite than any nation I know - to people's faces, but what goes on underneath is less so...

I would rather have the Yorkshire 'listen on, cloth ears' said in an affectionate way, than 'It was wonderful to see you, have a good day' when it's monotoned and dictated by company procedure

But that's because of my culture that's all and americans would feel more pleased with the latter