New terminology for the Workplace

[Kathryn41 3,207]

NEW TERMINOLOGY FOR THE WORKPLACE

1.*_ BLAMESTORMING_*

Sitting around in a group, discussing why a

deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2.*_SEAGULL MANAGER_:*

A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on

everything, and then leaves.

3.*_ASSMOSIS_

The process by which some people seem to absorb success

and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard* *

4.*_SALMON DAY_

The experience of spending anentire day swimming upstream

only to get screwed and die in the end.

5.*_ CUBE FARM

An office filled with cubicles.

6.*_PRAIRIE DOGGING

When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm,

and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

7.*_ MOUSE POTATO

The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

8.*_SITCOMs

Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.

What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of

them stops working to stay home with the kids.

9.*_STRESS PUPPY

A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10.*_SWIPEOUT

An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless

because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11.*_XEROX SUBSIDY

Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

12.*_IRRITAINMENT

Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you

find yourself unable to stop watching them.

13.*_ PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE

The fine art of whacking the ####### out of an electronic

device to get it to work again.

14.*_ ADMINISPHERE

The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above

the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the admonishere are often

profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were

designed to solve.

15.*_ 404

Someone who's clueless.

From the World Wide Web error Message '404 Not Found,'

meaning that the requested site could not be located.

16.*_ GENERICA

Features of the American landscape that are exactly the

same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls,

and subdivisions.

17.*_OHNOSECOND

That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize

that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an

email by mistake).

18.*_WOOFS

Well-Off Older Folks.

*19. _CROP DUSTING

Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm