Some interesting facts about Chuck Norris

[amiquechu 0]

Here are a few more to get you through the afternoon...

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.

Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will die. If Chuck Norris' misses you with the round-house kick, the wind behind the kick will tear out your pancreas.

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a "hole." Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.

When chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.

The phrase 'balls to the wall' was originally conceived to describe Chuck Norris entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar.

Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.

The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

[Ban Hammer 14,569]

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

[Amby 490]

the alien vs predator thing made me think of something...we watched that movie and at the end my friend said "so which one is the alien and which one is the predator?"