Another Approval From Moscow

[Chuckles 0]

Oh dear god, not another summer/spring marriage !!!!

[mox 298]

I'm all for accountability, especially in a govt. setting, but something like this is one of those things that is a system malfunction, not a personnel malfunction.

I can't disagree with this more. This is a personnel problem, not a system problem, if I ever saw one. The interviewer's job is (among other things) to determine the validity of the relationship. Statements and so-called "advice" to return to Russia are an abuse of power. I'm pretty sure there's nothing in the interviewers handbook to encourage this kind of behavior. I don't read the other regional forums, but this is the most egregious abuse of interviewer power that I've read in awhile. Boils my blood, and it wasn't even my girl who went through it. Nadya's older, but I hope she doesn't get this mouth-breather.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

How old was the C/O? Had to be pretty old, I'm guessing. Maybe felt fatherly? Not defending him, mind you! I guess I could see a suggestion (not a grilling like she experienced) if she were 18 or 19 but at 22 there are many Russian girls already married and having children.

Crazy! How old is Ira to be "a child and not be getting married?"

She's 22. I'm 29.

[slim 1,514]

Is that really any different than our interviewer at the AOS hearing saying, "Gosh, you guys are so young. Do you know what you're getting into?"

[mox 298]

Is that really any different than our interviewer at the AOS hearing saying, "Gosh, you guys are so young. Do you know what you're getting into?"

Slightly different; I'd have been mildly offended on hearing that but not enough to make a big deal of it. The difference is that the consulate interviewer was actively trying to dissuade her from marrying, and actively trying to persuade her to abandon her visa. Your AOS interviewer was just being nosy.

Dunno...to me, it's nobody's effing business to stick their nose into my relationship as long as we're both consenting adults.

[Chuckles 0]

Is that really any different than our interviewer at the AOS hearing saying, "Gosh, you guys are so young. Do you know what you're getting into?"

Slightly different; I'd have been mildly offended on hearing that but not enough to make a big deal of it. The difference is that the consulate interviewer was actively trying to dissuade her from marrying, and actively trying to persuade her to abandon her visa. Your AOS interviewer was just being nosy.

Dunno...to me, it's nobody's effing business to stick their nose into my relationship as long as we're both consenting adults.

Well I guess I'll chime in on a serious note. It is his business to probe into the relationship, in fact, it is his job. It can easily be argued that he was trying to shake her and have her admit she only wanted a green card somehow.

I can't say I like it, but step back a long ways, then look at the big picture.

[shikarnov 7]

Is that really any different than our interviewer at the AOS hearing saying, "Gosh, you guys are so young. Do you know what you're getting into?"

That I might have been able to let slide by as a shocked reaction by an American person who isn't accustomed to seeing people below the age of 30 get married and 40 have babies (I'm exaggerating, obviously).

It's one thing to have a "Do you know what you're getting into?" blushingly and happily replied to with a "Yeah, we love each other and couldn't imagine being apart." In fact, something like this could be a check-mark in the interviewer's list reinforcing his or her belief that the relationship is genuine.

But spending several minutes trying to convince one or both of you that you were making a mistake? That's crossing some lines.

Z

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

I agree!

Is that really any different than our interviewer at the AOS hearing saying, "Gosh, you guys are so young. Do you know what you're getting into?"

That I might have been able to let slide by as a shocked reaction by an American person who isn't accustomed to seeing people below the age of 30 get married and 40 have babies (I'm exaggerating, obviously).

It's one thing to have a "Do you know what you're getting into?" blushingly and happily replied to with a "Yeah, we love each other and couldn't imagine being apart." In fact, something like this could be a check-mark in the interviewer's list reinforcing his or her belief that the relationship is genuine.

But spending several minutes trying to convince one or both of you that you were making a mistake? That's crossing some lines.

Z

[mox 298]

Well I guess I'll chime in on a serious note. It is his business to probe into the relationship, in fact, it is his job. It can easily be argued that he was trying to shake her and have her admit she only wanted a green card somehow.

I can't say I like it, but step back a long ways, then look at the big picture.

I know what you're saying, but I disagree for 2 reasons:

1) If this were an approved tactic, we'd hear about it more often. This is the first time I think any of us have heard of this, whereas we always hear about the normal "what does he do for a living" type questions.

2) There has to be a line. What if he hit on her, and then claimed he was just trying to shake her and see if the relationship was real? Or asked her for money to see if he could shake her and see if she would try to bribe her way into the US? There's a certain level of conduct we should expect from government officials (even though I know they often fail to live up to these levels), and this guy's conduct was below that level.

[shikarnov 7]

Well I guess I'll chime in on a serious note. It is his business to probe into the relationship, in fact, it is his job. It can easily be argued that he was trying to shake her and have her admit she only wanted a green card somehow.

I can't say I like it, but step back a long ways, then look at the big picture.

I know what you're saying, but I disagree for 2 reasons:

1) If this were an approved tactic, we'd hear about it more often. This is the first time I think any of us have heard of this, whereas we always hear about the normal "what does he do for a living" type questions.

2) There has to be a line. What if he hit on her, and then claimed he was just trying to shake her and see if the relationship was real? Or asked her for money to see if he could shake her and see if she would try to bribe her way into the US? There's a certain level of conduct we should expect from government officials (even though I know they often fail to live up to these levels), and this guy's conduct was below that level.

You're too fast for me -- and hit on my points precisely!

Z

[visaveteran1 33]

My comments. First, I would not assume the male interviewer was an American...maybe a Russian employee of which there are many at the Embassy.

Second, many young Russian women get married BEFORE the age of 22. It's very common. When a woman hits 30 in Russia, she's already an "old maid." So any concern about being too young is BS.

The interviewer had some agenda which is not clear and may depend on whether he was a Russian or American.

I doubt you can "hold him accountable." As it is a "he said' "she said" situation. You'd need a witness...but writing your senator never hurts.

[mox 298]

My comments. First, I would not assume the male interviewer was an American...maybe a Russian employee of which there are many at the Embassy.

Has to be an American, the interviewers are consulate officers. They do use foreign nationals to collect and do some processing of the paperwork, but the job of interviewing is done by an American always. This was one of the directives to the State Department, that they would not "farm out" interviews to contractors or foreign nationals.

I doubt you can "hold him accountable." As it is a "he said' "she said" situation. You'd need a witness...but writing your senator never hurts.

Agreed. But multiple complaints from multiple sources would be pretty strong evidence though. Hopefully this will be just one of several complaints against the guy. Or if it were the only complaint, perhaps being pulled into an office and just being asked about it would warn him to knock it off.

[Kotenochek 0]

I was 22 too when i passed interview and my husband was 28...thats not a kid...Its crazy...

But could it be because she looked lost on interview?or scared?Is she kind of shy person?anyways,thats crazy...

But maybe they just trying to protect girls from pimps?there are so many that bringing girls here as fiancee and then selling them ...I do not mean that you would ever do this..but i think thats a reason they make process this hassle..

I am shocked though how rude they can be...thats nonsence....

[slim 1,514]

The only time I've heard of girls being brought here and pimped out have been from "other" visas. I've yet to hear of a single case where a girl was brought over on a K-1 and then trafficked into becoming a sex slave.

There have been several cases of women being abused or forced into sex with their husbands/fiancees, but I have not heard of any of them being trafficked.

There are numerous cases where girls have come over using work or student visas, etc. and ended up being forced into prostitution. In the majority of those cases it's a foreign-based scheme to begin with where the girls, some of whom even pay up front, end up being forced to do something other than what they originally signed on for, sometimes even being pimped.

Either way, perhaps increased scrutiny, even to the point of what could be perceived as harassment could be exactly what keeps the K-1s honest. Was the guy over the line? He could've been. But, maybe he was doing something like a "random @$$#ole check" to see if the girl would react a certain way. I still think it was something more to the effect of asking some annoying questions to probe into her responses and even lead her a little in an attempt to reveal something like a sham-marriage. Or, it could've just been something like "hey little girl, do you want some candy? I get off at 4:30... maybe we could meet up."

[native 0]

congratulations to everybody!!!