Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 6)

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Shoot...soccer canceled, the only way it will be canceled would be if lightening strikes, for real !! I've watched my son play soccer for the past TEN (10 yrs) Mother's Days and for the 1st 6 yrs, I was coaching the boys.

Now for MY mother, a person that doesn't "need" anything and isn't happy with anything you get her..... any thoughts? I was thinking of maybe just taking her out for dinner ....but then fighting the lines and waits, ugh... and my father MR. IMPATIENT..... my mothers birthday is next Sat (min Sun)...and I know she's going to Atlantic City, maybe I'll send her something up to her room ???

****Tre, I really need you to send a prayer out .......to the AIRLINE GODS..... that prices to Jamaica will come down to a "reasonable" price so that I can get my butt there SOON (well July and I just can't bring myself to spend more than $300 per person!!). I'm in desperate need of a vacation !!! I can go to Punta Cana next weekend, but.... I just my home away from home .....

If she's going to AC, she obviously likes to gamble - what about scratch off tickets?

Ohhhhhh...that's a good one Sus-ie!

Whoooaaa !!! That's a great idea !! and ya know what sucks, the next words out of her mouth are going to be....what did you waste your money on these for !!!??? I'm gonna do that .....Thanks for the great tip !

Roxcie, me and my mother aren't close, never have been........sucks, but that's how it goes in our family. She's VEEEEERY close with my sister and sister-in-law, but never ever me. I took my mother on a cruise back in 2005 (1st and last time we'll ever go anywhere by ourselves together), *thinking* we could "get to know" each other better and that's when I was going to tell her about Craig....ya know, when she asked. NOTHING, NADA ever came up. Never once did (or does) she ask me about me, my life, whose in my life, what's going on in my life, howze business, how are any of my friends, nothing.... but then when she's having a conversation with like a parent on my sons soccer team, she ACTS like she truly knows me and when I say.............um, I don't do that, or act like that, etc etc..... shuts her up...ridiculous!

Hence, why my folks do not know anythinga about Craig..............still to this day and it's been 3 1/2 yrs! Maybe I should send them (both my parents) the email about Mrs. Loving

Hi lutravlin,

I am the middle child, so my relationship with my mother wasn't the special one, but neither the less, I treated my mother the same way I wanted to be treated as a mother. So it didn't matter how she acted, I knew I had to answer to my God, the ten commandments say honor thy mother and father.

But my family is small and close anyway, so I didn't have a lot of drama. My mother was a very good mother. She provided and sent all 4 kids thru college. So I could only love her as a parent.

Be Bless

Love the honesty. My relationship with my mom is rocky, but I love her the same. She didn't get along with her mom, so I made sure I did my best to make it work with mine. My mom is set in her way and she doesn't not want anyone to tell her anything.

[jason&Marla 0]

Does anyone have the e-maill address for AirPack?

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

I am from VA and have lived all over the state and in the SouthWestern part..and the middle fo the state it is STILL touchy with a lot of older folks..

I had a student say at the beginning of the year (in another class..not mine...3rd grader..keep that in mind)... that such and such (some football player) could be my husband because we have the same last name. then he walks off..comes back and said "well, actually he cant" and I said "why not" and he said "because he is black" and I said "but hunter...I do have a jamaican husband" and he said "nuh-uh..you cant" and I chuckled and said "why not" and he said "because the bible says its wrong"

My students were standing there and all the girls were like "nuh-uh that is not true...the bible does not say that"

I couldnt help but feel sorry for those young boys and girls that are being raised in ignorance....

True Shrewdie,

The same is true on the other side. So many of my girlfriends are financially successful...but are looking for that 'special someone' to settle down with! All I hear is "All the good black men in America are in prison, married, gay or all of the above! " You don't know how lucky you are to have found Ken! (I remind them...He's just as lucky to have found me ) Because there is a Black man shortage" No doubt I know there is but...

Then when I tell them that they need to open their search to include ALL men from all backgrounds I get ...which I dont condone b/c in my view that's reverse racism! You can't DATE someone b/c of their skin color or background??? I'm not even telling them to marry...but DATE...get out there figure out what you want and what you don't! Who knows what G-d may have in store!

Anyway, I hope I didn't offend anyone..it's just my $.02!

Bless-ed Gill

Good afternoon to all.. I have been trying to catch up and not doing very well.. I had a great time in Ft Lauderdale, the part I was in was like Lil Jamaica.. I understood conversation maybe 50% of the time cuz everybody spoke Patwa and I ate American food maybe ONCE the whole time I was there.. Porridge, mackrel, rice, turn cornmeal, yam, sweet potato (both of which are orange where I live, not white) dumpling.. I didn't even that much Jamaican food when I was in Jamaica LOL EVERYTHING WAS SOOO GOOD..

I chimed in to ask a question about women being open in relationships.. I don't mean to offend anyone. Obviously love is a powerful thing cuz u guys have went against all odds for it. i just wondered did the money issue ever deter u.. I really am not materialistic, but money is important. I look at the odds and the earning potential for people that immigrate here just doesn't look very good. Although I was encouraged by the story of the chef that Lawny told the other day, and then I guess those that open their own business. But it seems most of the time even if u are well educated from your own country, u have to start ALL over from square one here.

I know this post was talking about race and that is also an issue that with all the complications interracial relationships can have, it is beautiful to see people pursue it nevertheless. I think love is supposed to conquer all, but the whole being open to someone who's income will be rather meager is soooo scary.. I work for SSA, so I think about survivor benefits if he were to pass, disability if he were to get hurt, medical insurance.. I know I can make my head hurt thinking about all the cons but I have been wanting to ask.. anybody ever wrestle w/ it??

PS.. i know that same question can go to relationships w/ men NOT from another country but I thought I would ask u wise, beautiful ladies LOL

Do you think the person have value, then who can tell what the future holds. I remember my first job, was min. wage, and now I would be considered high middle class. I didn't do this by myself, I had help by those who belived in me and my ideas. This is how I look at my situation and will be approaching my marriage. I married a man with a Plan. I am part of that plan, the other part we will work on it together.

Be Bless

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

I am from VA and have lived all over the state and in the SouthWestern part..and the middle fo the state it is STILL touchy with a lot of older folks..

I had a student say at the beginning of the year (in another class..not mine...3rd grader..keep that in mind)... that such and such (some football player) could be my husband because we have the same last name. then he walks off..comes back and said "well, actually he cant" and I said "why not" and he said "because he is black" and I said "but hunter...I do have a jamaican husband" and he said "nuh-uh..you cant" and I chuckled and said "why not" and he said "because the bible says its wrong"

My students were standing there and all the girls were like "nuh-uh that is not true...the bible does not say that"

I couldnt help but feel sorry for those young boys and girls that are being raised in ignorance....

True Shrewdie,

The same is true on the other side. So many of my girlfriends are financially successful...but are looking for that 'special someone' to settle down with! All I hear is "All the good black men in America are in prison, married, gay or all of the above! " You don't know how lucky you are to have found Ken! (I remind them...He's just as lucky to have found me ) Because there is a Black man shortage" No doubt I know there is but...

Then when I tell them that they need to open their search to include ALL men from all backgrounds I get ...which I dont condone b/c in my view that's reverse racism! You can't DATE someone b/c of their skin color or background??? I'm not even telling them to marry...but DATE...get out there figure out what you want and what you don't! Who knows what G-d may have in store!

Anyway, I hope I didn't offend anyone..it's just my $.02!

Bless-ed Gill

Good afternoon to all.. I have been trying to catch up and not doing very well.. I had a great time in Ft Lauderdale, the part I was in was like Lil Jamaica.. I understood conversation maybe 50% of the time cuz everybody spoke Patwa and I ate American food maybe ONCE the whole time I was there.. Porridge, mackrel, rice, turn cornmeal, yam, sweet potato (both of which are orange where I live, not white) dumpling.. I didn't even that much Jamaican food when I was in Jamaica LOL EVERYTHING WAS SOOO GOOD..

I chimed in to ask a question about women being open in relationships.. I don't mean to offend anyone. Obviously love is a powerful thing cuz u guys have went against all odds for it. i just wondered did the money issue ever deter u.. I really am not materialistic, but money is important. I look at the odds and the earning potential for people that immigrate here just doesn't look very good. Although I was encouraged by the story of the chef that Lawny told the other day, and then I guess those that open their own business. But it seems most of the time even if u are well educated from your own country, u have to start ALL over from square one here.

I know this post was talking about race and that is also an issue that with all the complications interracial relationships can have, it is beautiful to see people pursue it nevertheless. I think love is supposed to conquer all, but the whole being open to someone who's income will be rather meager is soooo scary.. I work for SSA, so I think about survivor benefits if he were to pass, disability if he were to get hurt, medical insurance.. I know I can make my head hurt thinking about all the cons but I have been wanting to ask.. anybody ever wrestle w/ it??

PS.. i know that same question can go to relationships w/ men NOT from another country but I thought I would ask u wise, beautiful ladies LOL

Hey Quanah;

What's up. Listen, I thought about it too, but the thing is you have to start somewhere. My mom came here in 1972 and my dad followed in 1976 (against his will, but he loved his wife). My dad didn't want to come to the states because he worked so hard to get to where he was in Jamaica. He was in his early 20s and he had his own business that was doing very well. We came from a very poor family that struggled to get to where we are now. I remember at my grandmother's house (since she raised my brother and I), we had a kitchen that was made totally out of zinc. No electricity, no bathroom, but we made it and we thank God everyday for what we have.

People ask my dad why he left Jamaica to come here to start all over again and he said he loved his wife and didn't want to be away from her. Things worked out for us though, my dad was able to build his dream home in 1982 and we're constanly upgrading or adding another room on to it. My dad had to start over when he came here and he had to work for someone. He's never worked for anyone before that and he said it was very difficult. But he did what he had to do to provide for his family so that we could all be together again.

I'm the same way. I cleaned hotel rooms to get through the first 3 years of college. The last year I got an office job. I don't owe any school loans and I choose to do it that way.

Baby girl, life is a struggle. It's really up to you if you want to deal with it. My friends here in the states and the ones that have men in Jamaica go back and forth with arguments about money.

So, if I have to choose love and happiness over money.......mi we tek di loving...di money can come latah

[luvtravlin 0]

Shoot...soccer canceled, the only way it will be canceled would be if lightening strikes, for real !! I've watched my son play soccer for the past TEN (10 yrs) Mother's Days and for the 1st 6 yrs, I was coaching the boys.

Now for MY mother, a person that doesn't "need" anything and isn't happy with anything you get her..... any thoughts? I was thinking of maybe just taking her out for dinner ....but then fighting the lines and waits, ugh... and my father MR. IMPATIENT..... my mothers birthday is next Sat (min Sun)...and I know she's going to Atlantic City, maybe I'll send her something up to her room ???

****Tre, I really need you to send a prayer out .......to the AIRLINE GODS..... that prices to Jamaica will come down to a "reasonable" price so that I can get my butt there SOON (well July and I just can't bring myself to spend more than $300 per person!!). I'm in desperate need of a vacation !!! I can go to Punta Cana next weekend, but.... I just my home away from home .....

If she's going to AC, she obviously likes to gamble - what about scratch off tickets?

Ohhhhhh...that's a good one Sus-ie!

Whoooaaa !!! That's a great idea !! and ya know what sucks, the next words out of her mouth are going to be....what did you waste your money on these for !!!??? I'm gonna do that .....Thanks for the great tip !

Roxcie, me and my mother aren't close, never have been........sucks, but that's how it goes in our family. She's VEEEEERY close with my sister and sister-in-law, but never ever me. I took my mother on a cruise back in 2005 (1st and last time we'll ever go anywhere by ourselves together), *thinking* we could "get to know" each other better and that's when I was going to tell her about Craig....ya know, when she asked. NOTHING, NADA ever came up. Never once did (or does) she ask me about me, my life, whose in my life, what's going on in my life, howze business, how are any of my friends, nothing.... but then when she's having a conversation with like a parent on my sons soccer team, she ACTS like she truly knows me and when I say.............um, I don't do that, or act like that, etc etc..... shuts her up...ridiculous!

Hence, why my folks do not know anythinga about Craig..............still to this day and it's been 3 1/2 yrs! Maybe I should send them (both my parents) the email about Mrs. Loving

Hi lutravlin,

I am the middle child, so my relationship with my mother wasn't the special one, but neither the less, I treated my mother the same way I wanted to be treated as a mother. So it didn't matter how she acted, I knew I had to answer to my God, the ten commandments say honor thy mother and father.

But my family is small and close anyway, so I didn't have a lot of drama. My mother was a very good mother. She provided and sent all 4 kids thru college. So I could only love her as a parent.

Be Bless

Love the honesty. My relationship with my mom is rocky, but I love her the same. She didn't get along with her mom, so I made sure I did my best to make it work with mine. My mom is set in her way and she doesn't not want anyone to tell her anything.

I totally envy those that have special and close relationships with their parents, especially their moms. I can't even tell you the last time (or ever) my parents even told me they loved me and to be honest, I don't feel that love towards them, so I can't say it back!! They say it to my son everytime they talk and see each other...because I told them waaaaay back when, do NOT treat him the way you treated me!! I want him to feel loved by those around him. They tell my brother and sister everytime they speak and see each other. I live 6-7 miles from my parents and only see them on the weekend if they go to my sons soccer game(s). It's truly unfortunate that I don't and can't feel that way towards my mother.

My son and I have a GREAT relationship, but I treat him completely and totally differently than my parents have treated me all of my life. I grew up in a home where they called me FAT, ugly and stupid almost every day!!! Never ever and even to this day...do they compliment me!! I think I mentioned this past weekend, my mother said...eh, your hair looks okay. I completely ignored the comment. When I had my son, we hadn't spoken for almost 2 yrs and when my mother found out I named him Austin....OH DEAR, she says she HATED the name and tells everyone and now she'll say, she's grown to like it. Whatever, I didn't name him with YOU in mind !!!

My father was abusive (back then that was considered "abuse"), he used to spank me with a wooden paddle... till I was in the 9th grade. Then when I got into high school, I was ALLLLLLWAYS "punished" and for stupid ####### !!!! I've never done drugs, I've never smoked and I hung out with a very good crowd--all "smart" and didn't get into trouble!! I didn't do great in school, but my parents never pushed me to do better or help me to succeed. When I had the 1st chance to move out, I did at 19 and never looked back.

I have tried over and over and over again to have some type of relationship with them. I've taken my mom out to lunch, asked her to go shopping ---she never goes with me, I surprised her one year with a massage (for mothers day), I used to ask her to go to do things alllllllllllllllllllllllllll of the time, but she never makes time for me. The list goes on and on and on.

As a parent, and a single one at that, I know that I would never ever ever treat my son the way my parents treated me and I think alot of the times, my mom is jealous of how close me and my son are. That I have connections and get to do things with my son, take him on trips, etc etc...that my parents never did with us.

I don't know....it used to bug the living ####### out of me and sometimes certain things do, but ....I do my best to not let it get to me like it used to. I know that I'm a great mom, I own my own business, I have great friends, knock on wood, we're healthy, I'm a strong woman......but....none of that comes from my parents and/or the way I was raised.

"I" was raised to "see" color, but I was the only one to go .........what???? That's absoLUTELY CRAZY !!!

[dancehallquana 5]

I am from VA and have lived all over the state and in the SouthWestern part..and the middle fo the state it is STILL touchy with a lot of older folks..

I had a student say at the beginning of the year (in another class..not mine...3rd grader..keep that in mind)... that such and such (some football player) could be my husband because we have the same last name. then he walks off..comes back and said "well, actually he cant" and I said "why not" and he said "because he is black" and I said "but hunter...I do have a jamaican husband" and he said "nuh-uh..you cant" and I chuckled and said "why not" and he said "because the bible says its wrong"

My students were standing there and all the girls were like "nuh-uh that is not true...the bible does not say that"

I couldnt help but feel sorry for those young boys and girls that are being raised in ignorance....

True Shrewdie,

The same is true on the other side. So many of my girlfriends are financially successful...but are looking for that 'special someone' to settle down with! All I hear is "All the good black men in America are in prison, married, gay or all of the above! " You don't know how lucky you are to have found Ken! (I remind them...He's just as lucky to have found me ) Because there is a Black man shortage" No doubt I know there is but...

Then when I tell them that they need to open their search to include ALL men from all backgrounds I get ...which I dont condone b/c in my view that's reverse racism! You can't DATE someone b/c of their skin color or background??? I'm not even telling them to marry...but DATE...get out there figure out what you want and what you don't! Who knows what G-d may have in store!

Anyway, I hope I didn't offend anyone..it's just my $.02!

Bless-ed Gill

Good afternoon to all.. I have been trying to catch up and not doing very well.. I had a great time in Ft Lauderdale, the part I was in was like Lil Jamaica.. I understood conversation maybe 50% of the time cuz everybody spoke Patwa and I ate American food maybe ONCE the whole time I was there.. Porridge, mackrel, rice, turn cornmeal, yam, sweet potato (both of which are orange where I live, not white) dumpling.. I didn't even that much Jamaican food when I was in Jamaica LOL EVERYTHING WAS SOOO GOOD..

I chimed in to ask a question about women being open in relationships.. I don't mean to offend anyone. Obviously love is a powerful thing cuz u guys have went against all odds for it. i just wondered did the money issue ever deter u.. I really am not materialistic, but money is important. I look at the odds and the earning potential for people that immigrate here just doesn't look very good. Although I was encouraged by the story of the chef that Lawny told the other day, and then I guess those that open their own business. But it seems most of the time even if u are well educated from your own country, u have to start ALL over from square one here.

I know this post was talking about race and that is also an issue that with all the complications interracial relationships can have, it is beautiful to see people pursue it nevertheless. I think love is supposed to conquer all, but the whole being open to someone who's income will be rather meager is soooo scary.. I work for SSA, so I think about survivor benefits if he were to pass, disability if he were to get hurt, medical insurance.. I know I can make my head hurt thinking about all the cons but I have been wanting to ask.. anybody ever wrestle w/ it??

PS.. i know that same question can go to relationships w/ men NOT from another country but I thought I would ask u wise, beautiful ladies LOL

Hey Quanah;

What's up. Listen, I thought about it too, but the thing is you have to start somewhere. My mom came here in 1972 and my dad followed in 1976 (against his will, but he loved his wife). My dad didn't want to come to the states because he worked so hard to get to where he was in Jamaica. He was in his early 20s and he had his own business that was doing very well. We came from a very poor family that struggled to get to where we are now. I remember at my grandmother's house (since she raised my brother and I), we had a kitchen that was made totally out of zinc. No electricity, no bathroom, but we made it and we thank God everyday for what we have.

People ask my dad why he left Jamaica to come here to start all over again and he said he loved his wife and didn't want to be away from her. Things worked out for us though, my dad was able to build his dream home in 1982 and we're constanly upgrading or adding another room on to it. My dad had to start over when he came here and he had to work for someone. He's never worked for anyone before that and he said it was very difficult. But he did what he had to do to provide for his family so that we could all be together again.

I'm the same way. I cleaned hotel rooms to get through the first 3 years of college. The last year I got an office job. I don't owe any school loans and I choose to do it that way.

Baby girl, life is a struggle. It's really up to you if you want to deal with it. My friends here in the states and the ones that have men in Jamaica go back and forth with arguments about money.

So, if I have to choose love and happiness over money.......mi we tek di loving...di money can come latah

thanks roxie and lawny for sharing.. u know sometimes u just need a lil encouragement. I know every situation is different but hearing how others deal w/ these obstacles helps..Being in a single parent hh and not finishing college, I know its Gods grace and mercy that has brought me thus far economically and He will continue to do so..

and u right Lawny.. i have the man that wanted to take care of me financially but was clueless to my emotional needs and I don't want to go back there NOOOOOOO

[Ms. Hellwig 0]

["I" was raised to "see" color, but I was the only one to go .........what???? That's absoLUTELY CRAZY !!! ]

Excellent luvtravlin!

Edited May 7, 2008 by Ms. Hellwig

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

I am from VA and have lived all over the state and in the SouthWestern part..and the middle fo the state it is STILL touchy with a lot of older folks..

I had a student say at the beginning of the year (in another class..not mine...3rd grader..keep that in mind)... that such and such (some football player) could be my husband because we have the same last name. then he walks off..comes back and said "well, actually he cant" and I said "why not" and he said "because he is black" and I said "but hunter...I do have a jamaican husband" and he said "nuh-uh..you cant" and I chuckled and said "why not" and he said "because the bible says its wrong"

My students were standing there and all the girls were like "nuh-uh that is not true...the bible does not say that"

I couldnt help but feel sorry for those young boys and girls that are being raised in ignorance....

True Shrewdie,

The same is true on the other side. So many of my girlfriends are financially successful...but are looking for that 'special someone' to settle down with! All I hear is "All the good black men in America are in prison, married, gay or all of the above! " You don't know how lucky you are to have found Ken! (I remind them...He's just as lucky to have found me ) Because there is a Black man shortage" No doubt I know there is but...

Then when I tell them that they need to open their search to include ALL men from all backgrounds I get ...which I dont condone b/c in my view that's reverse racism! You can't DATE someone b/c of their skin color or background??? I'm not even telling them to marry...but DATE...get out there figure out what you want and what you don't! Who knows what G-d may have in store!

Anyway, I hope I didn't offend anyone..it's just my $.02!

Bless-ed Gill

Good afternoon to all.. I have been trying to catch up and not doing very well.. I had a great time in Ft Lauderdale, the part I was in was like Lil Jamaica.. I understood conversation maybe 50% of the time cuz everybody spoke Patwa and I ate American food maybe ONCE the whole time I was there.. Porridge, mackrel, rice, turn cornmeal, yam, sweet potato (both of which are orange where I live, not white) dumpling.. I didn't even that much Jamaican food when I was in Jamaica LOL EVERYTHING WAS SOOO GOOD..

I chimed in to ask a question about women being open in relationships.. I don't mean to offend anyone. Obviously love is a powerful thing cuz u guys have went against all odds for it. i just wondered did the money issue ever deter u.. I really am not materialistic, but money is important. I look at the odds and the earning potential for people that immigrate here just doesn't look very good. Although I was encouraged by the story of the chef that Lawny told the other day, and then I guess those that open their own business. But it seems most of the time even if u are well educated from your own country, u have to start ALL over from square one here.

I know this post was talking about race and that is also an issue that with all the complications interracial relationships can have, it is beautiful to see people pursue it nevertheless. I think love is supposed to conquer all, but the whole being open to someone who's income will be rather meager is soooo scary.. I work for SSA, so I think about survivor benefits if he were to pass, disability if he were to get hurt, medical insurance.. I know I can make my head hurt thinking about all the cons but I have been wanting to ask.. anybody ever wrestle w/ it??

PS.. i know that same question can go to relationships w/ men NOT from another country but I thought I would ask u wise, beautiful ladies LOL

Hey Quanah;

What's up. Listen, I thought about it too, but the thing is you have to start somewhere. My mom came here in 1972 and my dad followed in 1976 (against his will, but he loved his wife). My dad didn't want to come to the states because he worked so hard to get to where he was in Jamaica. He was in his early 20s and he had his own business that was doing very well. We came from a very poor family that struggled to get to where we are now. I remember at my grandmother's house (since she raised my brother and I), we had a kitchen that was made totally out of zinc. No electricity, no bathroom, but we made it and we thank God everyday for what we have.

People ask my dad why he left Jamaica to come here to start all over again and he said he loved his wife and didn't want to be away from her. Things worked out for us though, my dad was able to build his dream home in 1982 and we're constanly upgrading or adding another room on to it. My dad had to start over when he came here and he had to work for someone. He's never worked for anyone before that and he said it was very difficult. But he did what he had to do to provide for his family so that we could all be together again.

I'm the same way. I cleaned hotel rooms to get through the first 3 years of college. The last year I got an office job. I don't owe any school loans and I choose to do it that way.

Baby girl, life is a struggle. It's really up to you if you want to deal with it. My friends here in the states and the ones that have men in Jamaica go back and forth with arguments about money.

So, if I have to choose love and happiness over money.......mi we tek di loving...di money can come latah

thanks roxie and lawny for sharing.. u know sometimes u just need a lil encouragement. I know every situation is different but hearing how others deal w/ these obstacles helps..Being in a single parent hh and not finishing college, I know its Gods grace and mercy that has brought me thus far economically and He will continue to do so..

and u right Lawny.. i have the man that wanted to take care of me financially but was clueless to my emotional needs and I don't want to go back there NOOOOOOO

Remember money can't buy happiness, been there done it. At the end I was in the same place I started. Now I only want someone who sees me as part of his future and together we will build. One stone at a time. As long as we have the same master plan we will build.

Be Bless

Roxcie

[*JG* 2]

I am from VA and have lived all over the state and in the SouthWestern part..and the middle fo the state it is STILL touchy with a lot of older folks..

I had a student say at the beginning of the year (in another class..not mine...3rd grader..keep that in mind)... that such and such (some football player) could be my husband because we have the same last name. then he walks off..comes back and said "well, actually he cant" and I said "why not" and he said "because he is black" and I said "but hunter...I do have a jamaican husband" and he said "nuh-uh..you cant" and I chuckled and said "why not" and he said "because the bible says its wrong"

My students were standing there and all the girls were like "nuh-uh that is not true...the bible does not say that"

I couldnt help but feel sorry for those young boys and girls that are being raised in ignorance....

True Shrewdie,

The same is true on the other side. So many of my girlfriends are financially successful...but are looking for that 'special someone' to settle down with! All I hear is "All the good black men in America are in prison, married, gay or all of the above! " You don't know how lucky you are to have found Ken! (I remind them...He's just as lucky to have found me ) Because there is a Black man shortage" No doubt I know there is but...

Then when I tell them that they need to open their search to include ALL men from all backgrounds I get ...which I dont condone b/c in my view that's reverse racism! You can't DATE someone b/c of their skin color or background??? I'm not even telling them to marry...but DATE...get out there figure out what you want and what you don't! Who knows what G-d may have in store!

Anyway, I hope I didn't offend anyone..it's just my $.02!

Bless-ed Gill

Good afternoon to all.. I have been trying to catch up and not doing very well.. I had a great time in Ft Lauderdale, the part I was in was like Lil Jamaica.. I understood conversation maybe 50% of the time cuz everybody spoke Patwa and I ate American food maybe ONCE the whole time I was there.. Porridge, mackrel, rice, turn cornmeal, yam, sweet potato (both of which are orange where I live, not white) dumpling.. I didn't even that much Jamaican food when I was in Jamaica LOL EVERYTHING WAS SOOO GOOD..

I chimed in to ask a question about women being open in relationships.. I don't mean to offend anyone. Obviously love is a powerful thing cuz u guys have went against all odds for it. i just wondered did the money issue ever deter u.. I really am not materialistic, but money is important. I look at the odds and the earning potential for people that immigrate here just doesn't look very good. Although I was encouraged by the story of the chef that Lawny told the other day, and then I guess those that open their own business. But it seems most of the time even if u are well educated from your own country, u have to start ALL over from square one here.

I know this post was talking about race and that is also an issue that with all the complications interracial relationships can have, it is beautiful to see people pursue it nevertheless. I think love is supposed to conquer all, but the whole being open to someone who's income will be rather meager is soooo scary.. I work for SSA, so I think about survivor benefits if he were to pass, disability if he were to get hurt, medical insurance.. I know I can make my head hurt thinking about all the cons but I have been wanting to ask.. anybody ever wrestle w/ it??

PS.. i know that same question can go to relationships w/ men NOT from another country but I thought I would ask u wise, beautiful ladies LOL

Yes, to a point. First of all, he had to be able to support himself in JA and to take care of some expenses while I was there visiting. If he didn't have a job, I doubt I would've put up with it.

Then, I had to have the gut feeling that he would work here just as hard as he worked there. I knew he probably would not start out making the salary I would've liked; but that there was potential.

My husband found had job with decent starting pay, has moved up 4 raises in the last year and 4 months, has moved up one promotion, and is set for another raise in 4 months, along with a promotion soon after his training. He also carries his own health, dental, and eye insurance.

My husband has not disappointed me.

[*JG* 2]

I should also say that the expenses or LD dating, the visa process, and someone starting new in the US has taken a toll on us. Times have been very difficult the last 2 years and even with constant baby steps, I thought I would lose it from time to time. Last week, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. The pep talk from FutureMrs/NowMrs helped a whole bunch too.

When I said I loved my husband and would do anything I had to do to be with him, I meant it.

Money isn't everything...however, usually you hear that from people that have it. Some days it can be EVERY SINGLE THING that is on your mind.

Just remember if you are smart, creative, and hard working, you can come up with a way to overcome just about anything. And, if you love and respect each other and your relationship, you WILL figure out how to do it!

[dancehallquana 5]

I am from VA and have lived all over the state and in the SouthWestern part..and the middle fo the state it is STILL touchy with a lot of older folks..

I had a student say at the beginning of the year (in another class..not mine...3rd grader..keep that in mind)... that such and such (some football player) could be my husband because we have the same last name. then he walks off..comes back and said "well, actually he cant" and I said "why not" and he said "because he is black" and I said "but hunter...I do have a jamaican husband" and he said "nuh-uh..you cant" and I chuckled and said "why not" and he said "because the bible says its wrong"

My students were standing there and all the girls were like "nuh-uh that is not true...the bible does not say that"

I couldnt help but feel sorry for those young boys and girls that are being raised in ignorance....

True Shrewdie,

The same is true on the other side. So many of my girlfriends are financially successful...but are looking for that 'special someone' to settle down with! All I hear is "All the good black men in America are in prison, married, gay or all of the above! " You don't know how lucky you are to have found Ken! (I remind them...He's just as lucky to have found me ) Because there is a Black man shortage" No doubt I know there is but...

Then when I tell them that they need to open their search to include ALL men from all backgrounds I get ...which I dont condone b/c in my view that's reverse racism! You can't DATE someone b/c of their skin color or background??? I'm not even telling them to marry...but DATE...get out there figure out what you want and what you don't! Who knows what G-d may have in store!

Anyway, I hope I didn't offend anyone..it's just my $.02!

Bless-ed Gill

Good afternoon to all.. I have been trying to catch up and not doing very well.. I had a great time in Ft Lauderdale, the part I was in was like Lil Jamaica.. I understood conversation maybe 50% of the time cuz everybody spoke Patwa and I ate American food maybe ONCE the whole time I was there.. Porridge, mackrel, rice, turn cornmeal, yam, sweet potato (both of which are orange where I live, not white) dumpling.. I didn't even that much Jamaican food when I was in Jamaica LOL EVERYTHING WAS SOOO GOOD..

I chimed in to ask a question about women being open in relationships.. I don't mean to offend anyone. Obviously love is a powerful thing cuz u guys have went against all odds for it. i just wondered did the money issue ever deter u.. I really am not materialistic, but money is important. I look at the odds and the earning potential for people that immigrate here just doesn't look very good. Although I was encouraged by the story of the chef that Lawny told the other day, and then I guess those that open their own business. But it seems most of the time even if u are well educated from your own country, u have to start ALL over from square one here.

I know this post was talking about race and that is also an issue that with all the complications interracial relationships can have, it is beautiful to see people pursue it nevertheless. I think love is supposed to conquer all, but the whole being open to someone who's income will be rather meager is soooo scary.. I work for SSA, so I think about survivor benefits if he were to pass, disability if he were to get hurt, medical insurance.. I know I can make my head hurt thinking about all the cons but I have been wanting to ask.. anybody ever wrestle w/ it??

PS.. i know that same question can go to relationships w/ men NOT from another country but I thought I would ask u wise, beautiful ladies LOL

Yes, to a point. First of all, he had to be able to support himself in JA and to take care of some expenses while I was there visiting. If he didn't have a job, I doubt I would've put up with it.

Then, I had to have the gut feeling that he would work here just as hard as he worked there. I knew he probably would not start out making the salary I would've liked; but that there was potential.

My husband found had job with decent starting pay, has moved up 4 raises in the last year and 4 months, has moved up one promotion, and is set for another raise in 4 months, along with a promotion soon after his training. He also carries his own health, dental, and eye insurance.

My husband has not disappointed me.

EXCELLENT.. that is soo good Jomo, u know that is basically my fear that their status keeps them from getting opportunities. I know RG is a hard worker and has a very strong work ethic. It would kill him if anybody had to take care of him. I keep seeing where alot of the men say they had it so much better in JA.. I would only hope that he has a chance at some of the success that Andre has had.. Congrats

[luvtravlin 0]

I am from VA and have lived all over the state and in the SouthWestern part..and the middle fo the state it is STILL touchy with a lot of older folks..

I had a student say at the beginning of the year (in another class..not mine...3rd grader..keep that in mind)... that such and such (some football player) could be my husband because we have the same last name. then he walks off..comes back and said "well, actually he cant" and I said "why not" and he said "because he is black" and I said "but hunter...I do have a jamaican husband" and he said "nuh-uh..you cant" and I chuckled and said "why not" and he said "because the bible says its wrong"

My students were standing there and all the girls were like "nuh-uh that is not true...the bible does not say that"

I couldnt help but feel sorry for those young boys and girls that are being raised in ignorance....

True Shrewdie,

The same is true on the other side. So many of my girlfriends are financially successful...but are looking for that 'special someone' to settle down with! All I hear is "All the good black men in America are in prison, married, gay or all of the above! " You don't know how lucky you are to have found Ken! (I remind them...He's just as lucky to have found me ) Because there is a Black man shortage" No doubt I know there is but...

Then when I tell them that they need to open their search to include ALL men from all backgrounds I get ...which I dont condone b/c in my view that's reverse racism! You can't DATE someone b/c of their skin color or background??? I'm not even telling them to marry...but DATE...get out there figure out what you want and what you don't! Who knows what G-d may have in store!

Anyway, I hope I didn't offend anyone..it's just my $.02!

Bless-ed Gill

Good afternoon to all.. I have been trying to catch up and not doing very well.. I had a great time in Ft Lauderdale, the part I was in was like Lil Jamaica.. I understood conversation maybe 50% of the time cuz everybody spoke Patwa and I ate American food maybe ONCE the whole time I was there.. Porridge, mackrel, rice, turn cornmeal, yam, sweet potato (both of which are orange where I live, not white) dumpling.. I didn't even that much Jamaican food when I was in Jamaica LOL EVERYTHING WAS SOOO GOOD..

I chimed in to ask a question about women being open in relationships.. I don't mean to offend anyone. Obviously love is a powerful thing cuz u guys have went against all odds for it. i just wondered did the money issue ever deter u.. I really am not materialistic, but money is important. I look at the odds and the earning potential for people that immigrate here just doesn't look very good. Although I was encouraged by the story of the chef that Lawny told the other day, and then I guess those that open their own business. But it seems most of the time even if u are well educated from your own country, u have to start ALL over from square one here.

I know this post was talking about race and that is also an issue that with all the complications interracial relationships can have, it is beautiful to see people pursue it nevertheless. I think love is supposed to conquer all, but the whole being open to someone who's income will be rather meager is soooo scary.. I work for SSA, so I think about survivor benefits if he were to pass, disability if he were to get hurt, medical insurance.. I know I can make my head hurt thinking about all the cons but I have been wanting to ask.. anybody ever wrestle w/ it??

PS.. i know that same question can go to relationships w/ men NOT from another country but I thought I would ask u wise, beautiful ladies LOL

For me, LOVE is much more important than money. I spend my money on things like trips or special outings or something that makes the person feel special or happy. Craig and I would talk about the money thing constantly....and I ask him ALLLL of the time, so if you had LOADS of money and never found the love that we have........would you truly be happy? He always always answer NO!!

Craig has had more jobs in the past 2 yrs than anyone that I've known and he's still not settled into a permanent one. He's had the opportunity to experience all types of trades. His favorite one to date, was building chalk boards for schools. He loved that job.... he really wants to get into A/C work and he wants to go to school and I said that will soon come. Right now....just test the waters out, find what you truly like or want to get into....and take it from there.

[dancehallquana 5]

I am from VA and have lived all over the state and in the SouthWestern part..and the middle fo the state it is STILL touchy with a lot of older folks..

I had a student say at the beginning of the year (in another class..not mine...3rd grader..keep that in mind)... that such and such (some football player) could be my husband because we have the same last name. then he walks off..comes back and said "well, actually he cant" and I said "why not" and he said "because he is black" and I said "but hunter...I do have a jamaican husband" and he said "nuh-uh..you cant" and I chuckled and said "why not" and he said "because the bible says its wrong"

My students were standing there and all the girls were like "nuh-uh that is not true...the bible does not say that"

I couldnt help but feel sorry for those young boys and girls that are being raised in ignorance....

True Shrewdie,

The same is true on the other side. So many of my girlfriends are financially successful...but are looking for that 'special someone' to settle down with! All I hear is "All the good black men in America are in prison, married, gay or all of the above! " You don't know how lucky you are to have found Ken! (I remind them...He's just as lucky to have found me ) Because there is a Black man shortage" No doubt I know there is but...

Then when I tell them that they need to open their search to include ALL men from all backgrounds I get ...which I dont condone b/c in my view that's reverse racism! You can't DATE someone b/c of their skin color or background??? I'm not even telling them to marry...but DATE...get out there figure out what you want and what you don't! Who knows what G-d may have in store!

Anyway, I hope I didn't offend anyone..it's just my $.02!

Bless-ed Gill

Good afternoon to all.. I have been trying to catch up and not doing very well.. I had a great time in Ft Lauderdale, the part I was in was like Lil Jamaica.. I understood conversation maybe 50% of the time cuz everybody spoke Patwa and I ate American food maybe ONCE the whole time I was there.. Porridge, mackrel, rice, turn cornmeal, yam, sweet potato (both of which are orange where I live, not white) dumpling.. I didn't even that much Jamaican food when I was in Jamaica LOL EVERYTHING WAS SOOO GOOD..

I chimed in to ask a question about women being open in relationships.. I don't mean to offend anyone. Obviously love is a powerful thing cuz u guys have went against all odds for it. i just wondered did the money issue ever deter u.. I really am not materialistic, but money is important. I look at the odds and the earning potential for people that immigrate here just doesn't look very good. Although I was encouraged by the story of the chef that Lawny told the other day, and then I guess those that open their own business. But it seems most of the time even if u are well educated from your own country, u have to start ALL over from square one here.

I know this post was talking about race and that is also an issue that with all the complications interracial relationships can have, it is beautiful to see people pursue it nevertheless. I think love is supposed to conquer all, but the whole being open to someone who's income will be rather meager is soooo scary.. I work for SSA, so I think about survivor benefits if he were to pass, disability if he were to get hurt, medical insurance.. I know I can make my head hurt thinking about all the cons but I have been wanting to ask.. anybody ever wrestle w/ it??

PS.. i know that same question can go to relationships w/ men NOT from another country but I thought I would ask u wise, beautiful ladies LOL

For me, LOVE is much more important than money. I spend my money on things like trips or special outings or something that makes the person feel special or happy. Craig and I would talk about the money thing constantly....and I ask him ALLLL of the time, so if you had LOADS of money and never found the love that we have........would you truly be happy? He always always answer NO!!

Craig has had more jobs in the past 2 yrs than anyone that I've known and he's still not settled into a permanent one. He's had the opportunity to experience all types of trades. His favorite one to date, was building chalk boards for schools. He loved that job.... he really wants to get into A/C work and he wants to go to school and I said that will soon come. Right now....just test the waters out, find what you truly like or want to get into....and take it from there.

most definately, enjoying what u do is number 1.. I don't want to b on a job I hate everyday just because it pays the bills, same w/ my man LOL I hope Craig finds his niche..

[sus 70]

I should also say that the expenses or LD dating, the visa process, and someone starting new in the US has taken a toll on us. Times have been very difficult the last 2 years and even with constant baby steps, I thought I would lose it from time to time. Last week, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. The pep talk from FutureMrs/NowMrs helped a whole bunch too.

When I said I loved my husband and would do anything I had to do to be with him, I meant it.

Money isn't everything...however, usually you hear that from people that have it. Some days it can be EVERY SINGLE THING that is on your mind.

Just remember if you are smart, creative, and hard working, you can come up with a way to overcome just about anything. And, if you love and respect each other and your relationship, you WILL figure out how to do it!

Well said, JG - I come from an upper middle class family - but due to battles with my father, I learned in my twenties what it meant to be broke and struggle - And then I did nonprofit work for years - it was a wake up call to me to learn that I could actually haggle my salary and get more money! Now I am in a decent position - not great, but good money and I know I can go further.

Money doesn't matter in the least to me - I have dated extremely wealthy, and was MISERABLE. What matters to me is that the man that I love has ambition and drive to succeed - because with that, you can go anywhere you choose. DJ and I just had a long talk about this a few weeks ago - he has had some really hard times the past few months, just a series of bad luck one after the other - I could tell it was getting to him, and he was getting depressed and it almost felt like he was giving up - when I would call and ask how his day was and what he did, the response was "Nothing" - I finally snapped and we had a long talk - it seems to have made the difference, because he has his drive and his ambition back and has been doing really well again financially.

I know it's not going to be easy, but I truly believe that if your man had a work ethic and drive when he lived in JA, he has the ability to make it and make any amount of money that he wants - he just has to dedicate himself to trying, and as his wife / woman we have to stand behind him and help him pick himself up when he gets down.

[clairern 0]

I mailed out cards I had made to my mom in the US and two MIL's in JA.

To those whose still have your mothers in your lives and alive, count your blessings. Mu won mother is decease and I truly miss here at times like this. That's probably why I get along with my mother-inlaw and his grandmother so well. I call them every morning, just like I used to do when my own mother was alive. I call just to say I love you, and have a great day. His grandmother cracks me up, she now says every morning she is listerning for my call.

Every morning, on my drive to work ...(my one hour in rush hour traffic drive), I call my husband to say good morning, then I call his mother. His grandmother gets up a 5 oclock am in the morning and start calling everyone to check on them. I told her today, I was going to start calling her first and cut out the middle man, because she already has the family report at 5:01 am. She wanted to know how I know she is up at 5:00 am calling, I told her the angels wake me up and says "she 's at it again" Call her and tell her she needs her rest.

My prayer for you today is that God's blessings and mercies are upon you on this day and everday. May you abide in God, as God abides in you.

Dance together with God, trusting God to lead and to guide you through each season of your life.

Be Bless

Roxcie

Roxie, both your posts are really touching. They brought tears to my eyes. I lost my mom to cancer years ago and know how you feel. Can I forward your poem to some lovely moms I know?

Thanks a bunch for this inspiration

claire