Will it affect my Green Card Interview!

[meauxna 15]

it is a waste of time for me to spend time worrying about the green card and if he really loves me. I should try to improve myself and try to be independent. no matter where I will live, I have to stand on my own feet, right? I will try my best to prove I am not useless and I won't let my parents down and worry about me from so far away. But one thing I havelearnt is that love is not what I can live on! I have to grow up this time! there is not a fair-tale at least it isn't happening in my life.

I really admire your attitude! I'm sure you will be successful in life no matter where you are or what you are doing for an occupation.

My husband and I share part of a language: I'm American and he is English. You would not believe how many misunderstandings we have over things that are awkward to talk about! It's not just the language, Sophia, it's the cultural differences and the half generation between us---we grew up very differently! It may be that part of your feelings (from your last post about a cold marriage) and your impression of his family might have to do with what *you* expect, coming from a very different and close family.

It could be that his fears about money and the house have to do with how *he* was raised, and nothing to do with you individually.

If you have some money, you can spend it on a counselor. It does not have to cost a lot of money. Hopefully he will go with you. Falling in love is not enough to make a marriage work--it is hard for two people to learn how to live together and give each other what they need.

Don't give up yet---put that great attitude to work and as you say, make the most of today. This is just one event and on its own it means nothing unless you let it. Keep your eyes open and looking, and also consider that there may be 'more to the story' than you think. It's early days.

best wishes for your future!

m

[Kajikit 65]

Oh sweety... I'm so sorry that your marriage isn't turning out to be what you hoped. Your husband sounds very controlling... in fact, from what you say it sounds like he really needs therapy of his own to work on his own emotional issues.

If I was you I would do my best to create a private little nestegg and have some way to claim independence if he turns outright abusive... nobody deserves to stay in a marriage to be abused. It doesn't matter if it's your first marriage or your fiftieth - abuse is a dealbreaker.