mrs.wife

My foreign husband came here to the US to marry me. We have known each other since 1994 and have been married one year. Since coming to the US, he has changed completely. I know that it is a hard transition coming to another country as well as a huge change to get married, so I have been trying to be supportive, but nothing seems to help. He is so depressed all of the time, and is angry with me for taking him away from his life in his country. I don't feel like I can talk to my family because they are critical of the fact that he doesn't have a job even though he has had his green card for six months. Also he sees me talking to my family about him as an invasion of privacy and me being disloyal to him. In order to return to his former profession, he needs additional training first here in the US, and he needs to improve his English before that training will be possible. So many of his preferences and attitudes have changed since arriving here that I feel like I hardly know him anymore. I am working full time to support us. When I get home at night, I help him study English. There are opportunities for other jobs and/or chances to improve his English by being involved with other people, but he refuses to do any of them. He feels that I tricked him into coming here and have now destroyed his life. I love my husband and want him to be happy. I even offered for us to move back to his country to live, but he doesn't want that either. Sometimes I think he is determined to be miserable. I am so unhappy in my marriage. I never imagined that things would change so much. I don't want to give up, but I am at the end of my rope. I take care of everything at home and outside of the home since he is not real comfortable with his English. In addition to a very stressful job, I don't feel like I can keep up this pace much longer. He is determined that the only way to get what he wants is by depending on himself and trusting no one else. He refuses offers of help. Please give me some advice. I am trying to be patient, but after 1 year, nothing has improved, and I still see him as not adapting to life in the US. Thank-you!