BigJohn

The OP is just in love and has abused spouse syndrome. Considering reconciliation he's no better than the woman who gets beaten up but tries to make it work with the man because she loves him. The OP obviously loves the girl, but it takes two people in love for a successful marriage. One thing I have learned is that no matter how much you want to, you can't make yourself love someone else. From the sound of his story to me, I'm not sure the girls original intent was to defraud the guy and scam him. I think she wanted to love him. But wanting to love someone isn't going to keep you from playing around with your ex boyfriend who you really do love. OP can love her all he wants and want her to love him back, but she is never going to love him the way he loves her, and the sooner he realizes that and moves on the better. She has proven herself to be someone who makes bad decisions and is WILLING to hurt him to get what she wants - and he is going to have only himself to blame when she hurts him more with a violence charge to stay in the country. I am surprised the OP hasn't posted the last few days... which makes me think he is still thinking/talking reconciliation. If he had revoked her status or made arrangements to put her on a plane, I bet he'd have posted by now. He is probably ashamed to post it because he knows what the consensus is here that he should do. I hope I'm wrong.

I hope she is still not chatting online back to the philippines while she waits... otherwise it is only a matter of time before someone suggests to her to call in a complaint of violence to the police and then she can stay. If you haven't put in your revocation of her green card already you are going to deserve what you get. At the point up until you found out what was going on, everything that happened was her fault. At the point that you don't prevent further bad things from happening once you know, it's your fault. She is in a desperate situation in a far away country with no relatives to help her. Desperate people who otherwise wouldn't necessarily do them ordinarily do desperate things. It may be she really does want to go back to the philippines and won't cause any problems, but if you don't take steps to protect yourself you are risking great damage to yourself to protect someone who cuckolded you.... on the day of your wedding no less. How much more disrespectful and unloving can you get? As for reconciliation, she doesn't love you or she wouldn't have done what she did. The only thing reconciliation will do is let her stay in the country long enough for her green card is permanent and she has a baby of yours, then she can take the baby and walk and get child support from you for 18 years. A domestic violence charge can follow you your whole life and prevent you from getting jobs. I hope you realize how dangerous a situation you are in. You seem to be going easy to protect her but you're the one who needs protecting. You should never have confronted her about it until you had already filed to have her sent back to the RP. I know it's hard because you loved her enough to marry her and still have feelings for her, but at some point you need to look out for yourself first over someone who is USING you.

I hope she is still not chatting online back to the philippines while she waits... otherwise it is only a matter of time before someone suggests to her to call in a complaint of violence to the police and then she can stay. If you haven't put in your revocation of her green card already you are going to deserve what you get. At the point up until you found out what was going on, everything that happened was her fault. At the point that you don't prevent further bad things from happening once you know, it's your fault. She is in a desperate situation in a far away country with no relatives to help her. Desperate people who otherwise wouldn't necessarily do them ordinarily do desperate things. It may be she really does want to go back to the philippines and won't cause any problems, but if you don't take steps to protect yourself you are risking great damage to yourself to protect someone who cuckolded you.... on the day of your wedding no less. How much more disrespectful and unloving can you get? As for reconciliation, she doesn't love you or she wouldn't have done what she did. The only thing reconciliation will do is let her stay in the country long enough for her green card is permanent and she has a baby of yours, then she can take the baby and walk and get child support from you for 18 years. A domestic violence charge can follow you your whole life and prevent you from getting jobs. I hope you realize how dangerous a situation you are in. You seem to be going easy to protect her but you're the one who needs protecting. You should never have confronted her about it until you had already filed to have her sent back to the RP. I know it's hard because you loved her enough to marry her and still have feelings for her, but at some point you need to look out for yourself first over someone who is USING you.

I hope she is still not chatting online back to the philippines while she waits... otherwise it is only a matter of time before someone suggests to her to call in a complaint of violence to the police and then she can stay. If you haven't put in your revocation of her green card already you are going to deserve what you get. At the point up until you found out what was going on, everything that happened was her fault. At the point that you don't prevent further bad things from happening once you know, it's your fault. She is in a desperate situation in a far away country with no relatives to help her. Desperate people who otherwise wouldn't necessarily do them ordinarily do desperate things. It may be she really does want to go back to the philippines and won't cause any problems, but if you don't take steps to protect yourself you are risking great damage to yourself to protect someone who cuckolded you.... on the day of your wedding no less. How much more disrespectful and unloving can you get? As for reconciliation, she doesn't love you or she wouldn't have done what she did. The only thing reconciliation will do is let her stay in the country long enough for her green card is permanent and she has a baby of yours, then she can take the baby and walk and get child support from you for 18 years. A domestic violence charge can follow you your whole life and prevent you from getting jobs. I hope you realize how dangerous a situation you are in. You seem to be going easy to protect her but you're the one who needs protecting. You should never have confronted her about it until you had already filed to have her sent back to the RP. I know it's hard because you loved her enough to marry her and still have feelings for her, but at some point you need to look out for yourself first over someone who is USING you.