You'll have to do what you think is best. Many on here will never understadn your frame of mind.
WIth my Ex I did some mind boggling manuevers that shocked my Attorney too and he saluted me with my cunning ploys.
With you and your Wife from the same country or region (assumingly) she cannot hide from you or hid the kid from you.
Personally I think you shoudl let her go back and take the kid adn you of course support them.
Good luck.
PS: Care about your kid, protect your kid to a reasonabel level but don't let it become an achor on your well being.