sonobi

I have not pulled the I-864. And yes, women--we are our own worst enemy.....I'm flirting with the idea that perhaps, I should try and forgive for a change....It's out of my norm...I usually stand firm and prefer to walk away....but I'm compelled to stay the course and keep myself protected the best way I can...I always say: God don't like ugly and at the end of the day.....he will be dealt with as well as I will be dealt with by staying on course. I don't want to sound like I'm defending him....and yes...he does seem like he is scamming me....but...would he have scammed me if he were american and still cheated on me with so many women...Americans that don't require visas cheat all the time from all types of classes....
The fact of the matter is that he cheated on me.....did he take me for my money?....not a chance....he doesn't have access to that...and should he try....well....there isn't much to take...so .....
With all that being said...thank you all for your words of encouragement....thank you all for your frank opinions......I'll try to keep an update going....we'll see what happens within the next couple of weeks.

Thanks for your support, Nwanyioma and everyone else. I have other friends that are Nigerians and they are very honest and good people. I'm still trying to decipher if my husband infact scammed me into getting him to the US or if he actually had all those affairs because he was just being a barking man. (No offense to those real men out there that are completely loyal to thier partners). Regardless, he was wrong for cheating on me while we were waiting on his visa to come through with entirely too many women (and still denies it). I am really trying to find the road where I can forgive and forget; unfortunately, that is not my life style and I can not find that road.
I was totally in love with the idea of being married to this man that, at one point, brought me so much happiness. At the same time, I cannot neglect the facts; which include a double side that I have never seen before we got married. I do love my husband; but I love myself a little bit more than him to allow this type of behavior in my life. That's just too much disruption.
For some odd reason, he seems to think that we can get over this and move on with our lives together. I think being nice to him perhaps led him to think this way. However, sometimes, I do get caught up in the moment of my love for him and I do show him--I'm hoping that he understands that we could never go back to how we use to be in Belgium. He has changed my life for ever. I don't see all Nigerians this way--just him. I don't want to see him as a scammer. I would like to compare him to a dog that doesn't stop smelling Sh**. Had he told me that he was a player, I would have made a different decision; but he withheld that information from me. He's too secretive.
I know what I need to do; I'm looking and reaching out for the strength to help me get through this difficult part of pulling the I-864. I could be like Nike--and "Just Do It".
Again, thank you everyone for your untiring love and support.
Broken Hearted

Thank you all!!! You are all so right! I've already taken the precautions of protecting myself from my husband financially. We tried to get marriage counseling but he just ended up lying to my chaplain as well; so there really is no point in us getting help or even us trying to move forward with our relationship.
I don't believe in hiding anything from my husband; and he is very much aware of my intentions. It just amazes me at the thanks and gratitude this man has for all that I've done for him. He becomes very offended when I tell him that he is selfish. Now, I know why. He could have money in his wallet and he still allows me to pay for our outings making me think that he either has no money or very little money. For my birthday, he brought me an ice-cream. Who does that????
I'm sure that I'll get over him once he is out of my life. It's hard to start getting over him when he is still under my roof. Amazing how people still use others for personal gain--even after everything this world is going through.
Again, thank you all for your continued support. Please keep me and him in your prayers. I do hope that soon we could start our own separate lives. I'm glad I have my extended VJ family.
Broken hearted.