Piso Envy

Funny, as I write this my wife is downstairs singing on an improvised system using a laptop, the TV and Youtube. The mic is hooked up to an old karoke amp my brother gave me. Almost all Tagalog songs are on Youtube.
If you don't want to go through the trouble of putting a system together youself you can always get a Magic Sing or equivilent. Just search the internet or here is a link to the current top of the line model sold on ebay. It would be very close to what she is used to in the Philippines.
http://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_trksid=p2047675.m570.l1313&_nkw=MAGIC+SING+ET23KH+Tagalog&_sacat=0&_from=R40

Just to add to that - the version of English that many Filipinos speak has meandered or evolved very differently from the way we Americans speak English. For example, all nouns can become verbs and verbs have no indication of time. My wife will say, 'I drive...' and it could mean that she's currently driving or she will in the future, or she's telling me something she did three days ago. It's up to the listener to either guess when or ask a lot of questions. The problem with asking a lot of questions is that my wife often gets frustrated when she realizes that I have no idea what she just told me. I can tell you it is an ongoing challenge for us and I thought that with enough years of immersion (she's been here since 2007), that she'd start to structure her sentences more like we do, but it hasn't really happened. IMO, Filipinos who struggle with communication should take an ESL class and possibly some Communication classes, because they need to learn how to effectively communicate if they are going to live here. It's not just with their spouses, but every time they go to a restaurant and order something, or when they have to interact with others at work - they've got to be able to understand and to be understood.

Or a western man like me for that matter. I've learned a few things the hard way and I'm still learning.
I do see the point they were taking and also the point you're making. If its really over between them she should be taking your advice. I'm just not so sure it is given things are over between them. And if its not over, then taking your advice could easily make it over. And the reply to you could have certainly been put a more positive way rather than make you feel attacked.
I'm hoping the OP and her husband find a way to reconcile and learn to understand each other. It not, at least she has a bit more knowledge of her rights here in the USA.
I know what you mean about avoid certain topics where cross cultural relations come into play. Heck even without mixing cultures they're complex enough.

He may have kicked her out, I'm just not assuming he did with how she presented it. Sending her out of the house can be as simple as her saying "I'm going to stay with my aunt" and him saying "Fine, go then". His failure to say "please don't leave" is easily interpreted as sending someone away. These two most likely have needed a cultural interpreter in order to not get into the situation they've created. BTW conflict resolution in Philippines is often handled through a third party just so no one can be considered as yelling and because the Filipino language is non determinate. The same sentence can mean many different things, so repeatedly going back and forth to clarify the true meaning is typical to. How Filipinos handle conflict, is poor at the very best. They avoid it with a whole series of rules to play by where essentially the issue or issues get ignored in the end, but a big drama will still be played out. Its hilarious to watch from the outside, but a real pain in the butt to deal with on the inside if you're an American. I think it was RLogan who once said on VJ that Filipinas are all like teenage girls and you have to treat them that way. While a very insensitive way to put it, from an American viewpoint I certainly could see his point.

Someone who understands the cultural differences between Americans and Filipino will read what she has said much differently than how you are seeing this situation. And I would venture to bet from a Filipino point of view, your husband has yelled at you. As to not taking the money out, she has every right to access the money she puts in there and continues to put in there, but she won't see it that way. I watch my wife have the same point of view over our joint accounts and a year and half after we opened them she's just beginning to access funds without asking me to go get cash for her.
As to kicking her out of the house, her husband hasn't kicked her out, she left the house, she's considering it being kicked out until he asks her to return. This is where the whole pride thing comes in, she can't return until someone swallows their pride, either her by returning without being asked to, or him by asking her to return. Someone is required to swallow their pride when someone leaves the house, someone is required to shoulder the blame and be wrong before they can move on and for her to move home.
You are putting Western values and interpretations on Filipino culture, without really understanding where the OP is coming from culturally and what she is really saying. Yes she needs to learn some of the things you are saying, she needs to learn how Americans think to, and understand her husband in that light. Just as he needs to understand how her culture thinks about the same issues. Not everyone is capable of making this leap in understanding, but that doesn't mean anyone has been abused or is being abused.
Just because Filipinos speak English, it doesn't mean they're saying the same thing you and I would when they're saying the same words. I've learned that very well being married to one. As I learn more about their languages, I've come to understand that even better. The advice the OP is getting from a peer, is good. I may not agree with all of it, but I understand it because I understand my Filipina wife and her culture.
Vanessa, you're giving her great advice on the immigration side of things that she needs to know, but please leave the cultural and marriage issues to fellow Filipinos that have been through this. They're the ones that will truly understand what she's going through, where she's coming from, and where she can best get where she hopes to be. There are certainly cases where Filipina have been abused and controlled by spouses in the USA, and then us Americans can help guide them, I doubt this is one of them, but rather an inability of two people to adjust to each other's cultures.

I can say this knowing how a Filipina might think, a voice slightly raised due to frustration, is considered yelling to many Filipina. Its something American men need to learn to control and Filipina need to learn to accept to some degree. Doesn't mean the guy isn't really yelling either. Something is obviously wrong with this relationship, but you need to be careful about making assumptions based on western culture references to what the OP is really saying. There can also be the entire game of tampo and the expected lambing being played that did not play out the way the OP expected. And its totally possible there is abuse going on. I've learned to be really careful in making assumptions on Fil/West relationship issues based on a story from one side.

As far as I'm aware YOU have NO idea about THEIR banking and financial arrangement and YOUR directive to simply "Go to the bank and take out the money" is NOT going to make for a happy happy situation.
OP stated that she wants to work on the relationship. YOUR advice is likely to prevent that from EVER happening, he is ALREADY upset with her for SOME reason, and YOU are suggesting that she MAKE it WORSE.
Better she ASK not TELL him "you want your money out of the account" first. Yes she can change her direct deposit contribution. However, directing a stranger to "take out the money" of a joint marital account without the other parties knowledge when YOU have no IDEA of their financial structure or the EFFECT that may have on their livelihood or CREDIT is irresponsible advice.
OP: Americans frequently raise their voice when expressing anger, in most cases, once the words are out, they calm down. I know loud yelling is not a part of your culture and you may have even grown up with the belief that "it is better to be hit than to be yelled at" so I understand how loud words make you feel bad. This is a backwards difference of culture than you are used to.
I sincerely hope you can find a neutral party to help sort out your misunderstandings. I think you need to learn to understand each other some more.

You will have to collect any checked luggage at ORD on the baggage carousel after Immigration (which will include taking you into an office to be processed, collect your brown envelope and attach I-94 to your passport) and before Customs. Then exit through the doors and drop off your luggage again at the counter just outside of that door and you will pick it up again in Boston.

filipinalover -
Your Certificate of Marriage needs to be amended by the NSO to show dissolution by divorce, and your CENOMAR must be clear. Until that time, you are not free to marry in the PI or eligible to be petitioned for a USA K1 fiancee visa.
Since you already have a copy of your divorce decree authenticated by the US Embassy, the next step is to petition for Judicial Recognition of a Foreign Divorce Decree through the Regional Trial Court. You will need an attorney to do this. Ask your godmother in the Mayor's Office to help with procedures and referrals.
Once the RTC approves your petition, you will return to the LCR in the city where you were married and begin the process of amending your Certificate of Marriage as dissolved. Either the LCR or you will take those documents to the NSO office in Manila, and after several months your amended Certificate of Marriage will be available, and subsequent requests for your CENOMAR will indicate your accurate and legal civil status.
Then your fiancee can file for your K1 Visa.
Happy Trails!

filipinalover -
Your Certificate of Marriage needs to be amended by the NSO to show dissolution by divorce, and your CENOMAR must be clear. Until that time, you are not free to marry in the PI or eligible to be petitioned for a USA K1 fiancee visa.
Since you already have a copy of your divorce decree authenticated by the US Embassy, the next step is to petition for Judicial Recognition of a Foreign Divorce Decree through the Regional Trial Court. You will need an attorney to do this. Ask your godmother in the Mayor's Office to help with procedures and referrals.
Once the RTC approves your petition, you will return to the LCR in the city where you were married and begin the process of amending your Certificate of Marriage as dissolved. Either the LCR or you will take those documents to the NSO office in Manila, and after several months your amended Certificate of Marriage will be available, and subsequent requests for your CENOMAR will indicate your accurate and legal civil status.
Then your fiancee can file for your K1 Visa.
Happy Trails!

I carry these

DONT FEED THE BEARS
As a tourist, there is no reason whatsoever to speak to any Filipino who approaches you on the street. Period.
Legitimate opportunities in the country are few and far between. Peer recognition and wealth are directly proportional to how clever the person is to extract pera from another.
Avoid eye contact, walk past anyone calling out to you on the street. Don't stop and turn your head around for whistes or calling "Hey Joe."
They play the game all day long and have for many years, they have a comeback ready for anything you say to them. Know your route, know the prices, and always negotoate.
Watch your 6 and don't feed the bears.