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closed-20101014

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    closed-20101014 got a reaction from Shamla in 25 year age difference....Older women marrying younger men   
    But you're posting making implications that if you're 20-22 then it's not a good decision and it probably means you are simply enamoured with the idea of going to the USA. HOw do you think this makes people feel whose husband is 20-22? My husband is 22 and he is the US citizen. Not only was I not gthat enamoured with going to the USA, I had to give up a counbtry I loved because I would not have been able to sponsor his visa there.
    I really wish age gap partners who are over that age 25 landmark that most americans seem to think constitutes an adult would stop doing this. I've experienced it myself on forums that are supposed to offer support. I don't experience it in my home country, where it seems to be considered that 18-21 is the landmark of becoming an adult and if you're 21 and don't act like one you're called immature. I don't experience it on non US internet forums. I do experience it on the wider, US populated internet in spades. Why is a 24 year old a child to many Americasns. They most certainly are not. They are 1/4 a cebntury old and to depress many... 1/3rd the way through their natural lifespan.
    I hear this stages in life thing too, it confuses me. What does it even mean? Because as far as I am concerned any adult who is willing to settle and be faithful is a viable partner. I am working and my partner is in uni. I am having to wait for him to finish uni. I am scared to death of getting old while he finishes uni. I still can't see any better partner than him and would not pick and choose anhyone by their age or status in uni. I am willing to wait for him to finish but I'll be sure to be with him while he does.
    When I was 15 years old I wanted more than anything to find a partner to settle down with.
    When I was 20 I wanted the same thing.
    I liked nerdy guys who liked computers and science. I still do.
    When I was 20 I wanted more than anhything to live in Japan. It took me 8 years to get myself in a position of affording it. I had to come home 4 years later because I love my husband. at 35, I want more than anything to live in Japan with my husband. It's not really changed.
    You are judging people based on your own situation. How you were at 20. I knew at 20 I wanred to settle down. My husband wanted to settle down, and has had several steady relationships since he was very young.
    As for what you like in appearances changing, neither me nor my husband had any idea what the other looked like when we fell for each other over IRC then X-box Live chat. I can confidently state it would not have mattered whatever he looked like.
  2. Like
    closed-20101014 got a reaction from Shamla in 25 year age difference....Older women marrying younger men   
    Seriously though I feel like posting about my automatic doubt of most mundane pairings that always fit the criteria followed by society in every thread ever posted on every forum where people are posting to say they got engaged, married, had a kid together. I feel like doing that because every time somebody posts about a relationship that does not fit that norm you get these "Are you sure they are not using you" and "you can't have the same types of interests" and "you are not at the same pklace in life" kind of posts.
    Hey how do the "always fit an acceptable age bracket" types know that their spouse is not using them to please their parents/society, because they mioght be homosexual or social climbing or whatever, never hear about that with age gap relationships because nobody seeks a huge age gap to fit in, do they!
    I always hear about the stage of life garbage too yet it never matters to the regular crowd does it that the vast majority of them STILL marry in older woman-younger man pairings where the man has likely progressed furthur in life than the woman. Hey, we're not all sporting a set of parents with the deep pockets to send us to uni either. Not everyone goes through that process, the northern working class of england for example - many if they go to uni go to uni late on their own savings. I'm pretty much at the same stage of life as my husband though I know a lot more about managing finances and the junk you have to go through re taxes and garbage like that, know about managing household income. Doesn't matter jack that he has less experience. How petty to assume you automatically have some resent for a person having less experience, that a marriage might fall apart for it.
  3. Like
    closed-20101014 got a reaction from indiana_sweetie in 25 year age difference....Older women marrying younger men   
    I'm going to be honest and say I'm incredibly doubtful of relationships where the wife is 1-4 years younger because thsat's so the norm, everyone does it and it's like it's programmed into your brain, like you are some sort of robot who can't see past this standard. How can you possibly be in love if you fall for that female 1-4 years younger than male, same race, same social bracket, same country, same town even god's sake... think how limited the number of people in your area that fit that AND have a personality yo can fall for, no wonder everyone who does this has to do the dating ritual to try out all the people that fit into that bracket, it's so cynical and hollow it about makes my brain switch off. I bet I can find somebody suited better for me out of the whole world, without being stuck on age ranges, than you can find in your small town. Those who do well in their small towns are just very lucky.
    Hey if you can be judgemental against age gap relationships why can't I be judgemental of your mundane beep-boop I am a robot relationships. ESPECIALLY since 90% of the mundane beep boop crowd go for a woman a bit younger, I mean haven't we progressed past the whole "women must have a provider" mentality yet? Apparently not, just check out the birth deaths marriages section of your local paper.
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