fox fox

I'm either voting for Gary Johnson or writing in Ron Paul. There's no need to tell me that voting for either is a vote for Obama. That's the dumbest thing i've ever heard and i've heard it a million times. I will vote for a candidate who's voting record and past actions in office support what they're preaching. I cannot vote for Obama or Romeny. One said one thing and did another. The other has vocally stated support for both sides of many topics, so why should I believe him? Both are supporters of Constitutional violations: Patriot Act, NDAA. Both think that even a citizen like me, never been arrested USAF Veteran, should not be allowed to own semi-auto military style rifles. Both support the molesting agency of the USA, the TSA. Both have no interest in ending the crony monetary fiat system controlled by the Federal Reserve, which is not a government agency, but a private bank. Both support the pointless drug wars, which is a waste of money. Romney belives in Magical Underwear, based on his religion, but doesn't believe in Medical Marijuana. Both have no interest in ending these illegal wars we're involved in. Obama is guilty of killing 2 Americans without an arrest or trial via drone strikes. One of the 2 was a 16 year old American boy, who was the intended target, not a casualty bystander. Romney stated he supports these actions. This country is becoming a Police State. If we don't support a candidate who supports the Constitution and if we don't support our Constitution, it will be too weak to protect us.

vanessa, sorry to read about this. Others have already provided words of comfort. If you sent a personal check to pay for the form fee, i would recommend you contact your bank to see what you can do about getting the check to be declined, so that you keep from having your money wasted. act quickly.

Besides not having any documentation as a receipt for being up to date with her getting a new GC, I feel like this may pose a problem with her entering back into the US after her trip back home early next year.

If you fill out your ROC timeline and where it was sent to, we can help you, really

Well,....we mailed out a I-751 within the 90 days expiration of her GC to this address:

USCIS Vermont Service Center

75 Lower Welden Street

P.O. Box 200

St. Albans, VT 05479-0001

and received a receipt letter with an appointment date for her to take care of biometrics stuff at a New Orleans office. She made it to her appointment on 3 August 2012. It's been almost 2 months and we haven't received anything in the mail since her appointment in New Orleans. We're expecting some notification in the mail for an interview, likely to happen in Jacksonville, FL, since that is where we went after we were married for her to get her GC.

My wife and I married early 2010 and we applied to change her status since her GC was expiring in 2012. We submitted the paperwork and fee for a new GC and she made it to her biometrics appointment in New Orleans early August 2012. We have received NOTHING in the mail confirming her fulfilled appointment or anything for the next step. It's been almost 2 months now with hearing nothing about her paperwork status. Where do we go from here? We're both a little nervous since we have not received anything in the mail since her biometrics appointment.

I love riding my motorcycle, but I don't give it much attention lately. I find myself going to the gun range about once a week.

All I can say is that your wife is not a merchandise; therefore, the return policy of Walmart doesn't apply.

God bless you both.

then i guess that if your spouse was not going to change at all to smooth out your marriage that you'd stick around and take the "beating"? i think not. what about cheating excessively? you can't fix a marriage if the person cannot change, so why stay in it and be miserable? riddle me that?

now i'm done here. don't reply people.

final post here.

i just really wanted to find out if i would be banned from entering the philippines, which i really doubt it. i went off topic and this has gone too far. i divulged my domestic issues in too much detail, but i'm glad this is just the internet. thanks guys.

Bottom line....your reasons for wanting a divorce are silly. All these issues can be resolved with respectful communication, time, patience and leadership by example.

Seriously...grow up. Sorry if that seems harsh to you...but really...your behavior is so immature. You just don't know it yet. (but) The way you describe your wife...she may have some growing up to do too....so how bout you two decide to grow up together? That's marriage.

i am respectful directly to my wife. i have been very very patient. leadership by example? i understand what you mean sarge, but do you really think her insecurity and paranoia issues are going to clear up just because i'm nice to her? it hasn't work so far. this it's just something i've had to recently deal with. all this came about pretty much when she got here which is already 9 months ago. sorry, but i cannot live life being constantly harassed when i'm home.

as far as the grow up part. i'm the one completely mature with my direct actions with her. i'm not the one harassing her in the house, i'm not the one who's investigating if my spouse is really at work. i'm not the one who sits on my #### at home and waits for my spouse to come home to see what he will cook. i could go on. you might be formulating all these negative thoughts in your head and focusing it back at me, when really your comment about growing up should be directed towards her.

James:

I cannot believe that you would post how your wife smells!

You really don't have a clue? You don't recognize that remark is disgusting and immature?

Jeez! Dude...that's something to be discussed privately between you and your wife. The fact that you shared this (with all) at VJ represents pretty clearly you don't yet comprehend marriage.

Additionally..the way you degrade and disrespect your mother publicly and without hesitation makes me think it is probably easy for you to behave even worse to your wife.

Bottom line....your reasons for wanting a divorce are silly. All these issues can be resolved with respectful communication, time, patience and leadership by example.

Seriously...grow up. Sorry if that seems harsh to you...but really...your behavior is so immature. You just don't know it yet. (but) The way you describe your wife...she may have some growing up to do too....so how bout you two decide to grow up together? That's marriage.

sure the smell comment wasn't necessary, but how can you say that i am disrespecting my own mom when i'm only saying that she's biased towards my wife?...and really is this PUBLIC? this is the internet and the beauty about it is that it really isn't public since my username can be made up and you have no real idea of where i am. who says that everything can and does work out together or that it needs to? people change overtime, grow apart, and have irreconcilable differences. does that mean that things will always change together? i think not. you seem to be an older man from your photos. am i right to think that this is probably not your first wife? if not, then remind yourself of what happened. i don't care to know. do you even believe that some people just don't workout together and can still be completely happy apart? do you think that couples should live together in a hostile household vs apart and happy?

folks, thanks for your help and comments.

There you have it. You've been quoted. Yes, you are also concerned about picking another Filipina in the future while you can't even handle your present plight.

Guy, you just wanna be single again that's why all you see are her not-so-desirable traits. You are finding reasons why you should leave her and call the relationship off. What were you thinking when you married her anyway? That your life would be the same as when you were still alone? Apparently, it's not just your wife who has attitude problems.

I'm not a part of your household but VJ is not your household either so once you bring your household problems here, you can expect to hear something from people like me.

yes, i did type that ( can she put a ban on me from entering the philippines or be able to somehow keep another filipina woman from leaving the country to be my wife? )and it's my fault that i didn't type it showing that those were basically her words towards me. she claims that she can band me from entering the philippines and that she can keep a filipina from leaving the country to be my wife. as of now with my situation, i'm concerned with my denial of entry into the philippines, yet i cannot claim "fully" that i have no desire "AT ALL" from being with another filipina in the future. But i want to make this clear that i'm not looking and i'm not hoping to find another filipina. as far as reverting back to life before her, i was completely fine with life.

It's actually unbelievable that instead of finding ways to fix the marriage, this guy is already looking into getting another woman from the Philippines. He's more worried with being banned from the PH in the future and that he couldn't hook up with another girl there rather than solving the present situation.

Just earlier this year, the same guy was asking VJers how his fiancee could get her police clearance from another country.

Note: It has been ages since I last posted on VJ and I cannot remember my password. A nod to the mods and the Ewok.

i never said that i was looking into "getting another woman from the philippines". don't put false words in my mouth. i never said that i couldn't hook up with another girl here. get your facts straight and use the quote button to prove me wrong. my ultimate main concerns about going to the philippines is that 1. if i have no committed any violations to ban myself, then i shouldn't be banned from any country that the US allows it's citizens to go visit. 2. i also have relatives and school friends that i'd like to see when visiting while i'm traveling there. these are the reasons why i don't need to be banned from the philippines.

I have a feeling that the root of this is: The guy has extremely high expectations on how marriage or his wife should be.

True enough, it would've been different if the wife did something nasty or has committed fraud; however, that's not the case here. There's one whiny guy saying or implying that his wife is fat and all. This guy really sounds unpleasant and it's just strange that the early posters on this thread are even encouraging him to go for divorce. There are just people who think that marriage is trial-and-error and they enjoy being their own guinea pigs.

it's not high, it's do-able. because i'm always alert of a bad situation that can come about, i act. it's who i became when i was in the military. i don't put up with pure #######, which this relationship will become because of her. i do not really care about you negatively criticizing my household situation when you really don't know anything. especially when reading what is typed never can express all that i see going on.

You need to put a lot more effort into this before you begin considering divorce, etc.

I am me, but i cannot deal with a person who needs psychological help with her insecurities. I don't know what her x boyfriends have done to her, but i can ask her. still i'd rather hear what the guys have to say about it all. i believe that there's always two sides to every story.

I can't help but think the fact that you're already considering ending the marriage is actually having a major negative effect on it. You can do better in how you're acting toward your wife, even if she does sound quite lazy. If she can be helped to get away from the mindset she has, lazy is fixable. If your mother is helping her act irrationally, then make sure your mother gets the whole story.

my mother is irrational to begin with. they don't need each other for influence. they're practically the same with discussion, but this is my mother. she's not supposed to be biased towards her and basically form a tag team against me.

Do you ever say anything about divorce, getting another lady, etc? If so, KNOCK IT OFF! That's like stabbing her in the heart. Of course she's going to act poorly if you say things like that.

Start treating her like a princess, even if you don't think she deserves it. Take over 100% of all the duties for awhile, so she can see what "doing everything" looks like. Teach by example. It will be very hard on you, but it will probably pay off. While doing it, try to get her to "join you" in all the work you're doing that she can help with (i.e., not the yard work or the auto repairs - unless she's one of those rare women who like that stuff). I don't mean saying "hey, why aren't you helping me with this?", but rather "hey honey, want to help me with the _____?".

I have no problem with asking to include her. my problem is that she doesn't really have initiative of self motivation.

Do everything you can to alleviate her fears. She may have insecurities, but that's part of who you married. You can, however, do things to help eliminate those insecurities. How often are you on the computer when you're both at home? Is it work? Why would the door be shut? Maybe you can instead use a laptop and sit with her to do whatever it is you need to do on the computer. 100% of the time.

I have never chatted with anyone else since meeting her. what i don't understand is why would someone marry another if they're insecure and constantly sticking with the though that i'm not trustworthy when i haven't done anything to provoke those kinds of thoughts? when i'm home and not directly with her, i'm not sneaking outside on the phone. when i'm on the computer at home, it's not work related. either i'm researching stuff or doing daily stuff like reading news or paying bills, etc. nothing that raises flags. if the door is closed it's because her music or her tv show is either overpowering my headphone audio while gaming or watching youtube stuff. i also play fps games on computer and cannot concentrate with distracting audio overpowering the game audio. other than that the door is not closed.

Did she gain significant weight, or is she still as "fat" as when you met her? how about 20 or 25 pounds? If she looks the same, then you got what you knew was coming, do not complain. If she's gained weight, then IGNORE IT, make yourself realize (yes, realize, not imagine or dream or wish or pretend) that she is the most beautiful lady on earth, and that you're the luckiest guy on earth to have her. Change the way you look at her so that you can see her beauty, and so that she notices your appreciation.

Small problems between people tend to get bigger and bigger when neither party makes an actual effort to help the situation. Getting angry isn't trying to help, it's reactive and destructive. Usually just one person being humble and constructive can lead to the repair of any problem.

i am trying to be humble about it all, but she's the one who brings up all these problems, plus her efforts at home.

Has 'mom' only heard the wife's side of the story? there's no telling my mom anything really, especially when she's heard my wife's side of the story. matigas na matigas ulo ang nanay ko. Tell your mother what's actually going on. Talk to your dad as well, see what they have to say if they know the whole story. my dad is on the road for weeks at a time and i'd rather not bother him with "MY" domestic issues when he has his own to deal with when he comes home. trust me. no need to go into further details on that. perhaps i should get a job that requires lots of driving or travel so i can have some sanity. i know why my dad enjoys his trucking job. Does your mom sleep till noon every day? what does my mom's sleeping pattern have to do with this? that's my dad's problem if it affects his life. Does she know your wife does? Getting your mother to at least know the full situation will help in this case, I think.

P.S. LOL...Dude..your making me laugh.....remember your vows? Better or for worse...did you mean it? She's not cheating on you or doing drugs or stealing money or or or or .....she's just not meeting your walmart satisfaction guaranteed or your money back expectations......You made the commitment...man up and make it work...what a bunch of silly reasons to throw away a marriage and a woman that loves you!

first of all it's not me that needs changing. how am i supposed to deal with a woman who constantly harasses me because of her insecurity and paranoia?

It's her attitude in reply towards me, her paranoia that i'm always cheating on her, and acusations that i've got the hots for any beautiful female that passes by us.

I never said that I was checking out anyone. When I walk I pay attention to if i'm going to bump into someone or not. She sees the fact that I acknowledge the fact that there's a person who I consider to be a hazard in my path of travel. If it's a woman, she automatically thinks i'm checking her out...only if it's a woman and confronts me about it.

It's my opinion your wife is jealous...A) Love with you indicator...B) Your eye shopping...C) Dude...pssst...there aren't any other beautiful women anymore. You married the only beautiful woman on the planet.....get it?

I'm not "shopping" anymore...get it? You're only assuming that I am because I didn't give you the small detail I posted above.

She's always thinking that i'm chatting to other females online that she can't even stand it if the door to the computer room is closed.

Why in the world would you shut the door? Your trying to increase your wife's sense of jealousy?

I close the door to the computer room only to block out her music coming from the living room or when she's watching "her" tv shows so i can concentrate on what i'm doing which has nothing to do with chatting or looking at girls, etc.

because she never really cooks.

Did you ask her if she knew how to cook before you got married?

she knows how to cook. this has nothing really to do with what she cooks though. it's the fact that she doesn't and she's home all day long. she waits for me to come home to cook. sometimes she might call me at work "during my overtime hours" and ask what i want, but really it's because she's calling work to make sure i'm really there and not out with some girl. when it's lunch hour time, she never asks me what i want, only when i'm on overtime. it's her way of playing magnum PI.

she wants me to cook, but if she does it's always fried fish, rice, etc. basically i'm the one who's always cooking.

Have you considered that she digs your cooking? Have you tried sharing your recipes and cooking together?

what i cook she can cook also. sometimes i cook stuff from scratch, which i don't expect her to know how to, but she could even just fix up some spaghetti and i'd be fine with that too. no skill level really needed for that.

My house was cleaner without her and I lived alone. I do cook, I do fold laundry, I do the yard work, I perform maintenance on the vehicles and more than just oil changes, I do the home repairs, and bring home the bacon, yet I'm the one who doesn't do anything to help her out.

OK OK...stop bragging....put this in perspective....all that your doing...well...it's called being an adult.

How bout you guys do the housework together? Make it a bonding experience and perhaps she can learn how to meet your obsessive compulsive needs? That's a little on the joke side but...c'mon...work together until she is confident in her own abilities.

you're right on this.

I had a much more ballanced life and didn't have problems with stress. I get 100 times more stress from her than being at work. but now I can add that it's more time away from her.

Haven't you heard? Marriage is work..forever! Join the club.

no, this isn't the type of acceptable marriage in my book. she can't even discuss our differences without shouting. i always try to keep my cool and not raise my voice and it pisses her off that i won't fuel her fire.

I don't hit her, and she's no sex slave to me at all.

Are you expecting some kind of trophy or prize for this? Not treating her as a sex slave and resisting the urge to smack her makes you feel good about yourself? That's your quality standard?

I'm saying that I don't sexually abuse her and i'm not the type of person to hit her, not that i have the urge to.

she's not some slimmed down gal and her attitude makes her mentally fatter to me, which i'm not attracted to. sorry I'm really not into fat gals.

That's a bit sexist? hmmmmm? If you don't like her figure...then why did you marry her? Did you make a deal? I won't treat you like my sex slave and I won't smack you ..but...GOD DAMNIT!! GO ON A DIET!

she's gained so much weight in less than one year of her being here. she does know that she's getting FAT, and no, i don't feed her fatty foods often, but you should see how much she can chow down. I never saw this in the philippines with her.

two weeping filipinas shouting at me as if everything is my fault.

Hey! Your mom is yelling at you? lol Well...then stop doing whatever your doing! If mom is pissed at you too...hmmmm...I'm thinking...yep...your deserving of an #### chew...sorry...but your own mom? Stop it!

this is the same concept of someone defending someone because they are both filipina, same thing with race defending same race concept only because of race. i know my mom better than anyone on this website. also my mom hears it all from her first in clearly understood tagalog, so after this she's already more biased towards defending her.

I'm so lost with all this now and I don't know what to do, We both won't change to accomodate the other, yet i'm not the one who needs changing,

i've already stated that i'm not the one who creates all these problems. it's her insecurities, paranoia, and tamad-ness that's ruining this relationship. it wouldn't hurt if she'd lose some weight too.

Welcome to manhood....time to be a man...accept your challenge and build your marriage!

i can say that i've had longer live in relationships with other women that have never given me this type of stress. don't ask what happened to them. our breakups were not my fault. long stories short, they were whores that came out of the closet.

^^^It's just there!

Sooo...James...the question needs to be asked...why did you marry the woman if you don't enjoy crispy pata?

actually i love crispy pata. i just don't want to eat rice accompanied meals all the time.

James, take a couple hours and read some other posts about guys who really married a "true" nightmare. You may come to find your new bride is a good one and needs to adjust and grow into this new place. As far as weight, it can surely be lost. My wife is alittle over weight and I love every pound of her.

weight can be lost but what can be done with a bad attitude from her? i'm not attracted to bad attitudes and it also makes things worse that the flower smells really terrible all the time. what guy wants to smell a foul smelling flower?

adding the phone cyber sex...lol. freaks.

removed

my take on loaning money is...."if you can't afford to just give it to them with no return, then don't give it to them". to me, if i loan out, i look at it as i'm giving you money. if you give it back to me, well then that's a nice surprise. So what i'm saying is that....I don't loan money. That's what a signature loan is for. Seek your local bank.

I highly doubt that she could ban me from returning. As far as being with another Filipina, my answer is yes. No two are alike, though I know that they share a similarity. That similarity is what I like. Those married to Filipinas understand this. I was exposed to this as my dad married my filipina mother and they're still together. It's her attitude in reply towards me, her paranoia that i'm always cheating on her, and acusations that i've got the hots for any beautiful female that passes by us. To this day I truly believe that she has never trusted me. She's always thinking that i'm chatting to other females online that she can't even stand it if the door to the computer room is closed.

She currently unemployed. I wake at 5, drive 40 minutes to start work at 7 and am typically done with work at 3pm, sometimes later. 95% of the time i'm home by 330-340pm. She claims that she treats me like a king and that I don't appreciate all that she does. Now....when I leave for work she's in bed most of the time and if she is awake, she goes back to sleep. I'll call her when I'm taking my lunch break or when i've got time to talk around lunch time. Sometimes she claims that she just woke up or that I woke her up. Hello???? It's 1130am - 1230pm when i normally contact her. she's been sleeping all that time yet going to sleep around 10-11pm the night before. there might, and i say might be dishes to clean because of putting them off from the night before....if and if there was any dinner cooked, most of the time i will have to cook, because she never really cooks. she wants me to cook, but if she does it's always fried fish, rice, etc. basically i'm the one who's always cooking. she claims that she's always cleaning, yet really she's not. the floor looks like the burger king kitchen, and the clothes look like a pile that need to be featured in the oxyclean commercials. basically she's lazy, but yet she "treats me like a king".

My house was cleaner without her and I lived alone. I do cook, I do fold laundry, I do the yard work, I perform maintenance on the vehicles and more than just oil changes, I do the home repairs, and bring home the bacon, yet I'm the one who doesn't do anything to help her out.

Honestly and i'm being really truthful here. I was content with life before i met her, content. Happiness is a long ways away from being content with life and i'm nowhere near it. infact i'm almost misserable. I had a much more ballanced life and didn't have problems with stress. I get 100 times more stress from her than being at work. If i ever have morning or afternoon/evening overtime i'm sooo happy. Before she was in the picture, I wanted the overtime for extra money, but now I can add that it's more time away from her.

as far as how i treat her. i don't talk down to her, i tell it to her so she understands what i'm saying, but truly the "in one ear, out the other" typically applies with her. I don't hit her, and she's no sex slave to me at all. honestly, i don't even have a real desire to sleep with her. she's not some slimmed down gal and her attitude makes her mentally fatter to me, which i'm not attracted to. sorry I'm really not into fat gals.

we stopped by my parent's house yesterday to drop off some business money i owed my mom. the whole story between us just came up and the next thing i know is that i've got two weeping filipinas shouting at me as if everything is my fault. for you guys out there with screaming filipina wives, try two filipinas screaming at ya. tust me at this, you'd rather have a 1 kilohertz tone at a 150 decibels blaring in your ears than these two women yelling at you.

I'm so lost with all this now and I don't know what to do, except research what I need to do for a divorce. There's really no chance for this to work out and really, I don't even want to live life with her this way. I know I can be back to being content with life again without her and just move on. There's really no need for this to keep getting uglier. We both won't change to accomodate the other, yet i'm not the one who needs changing, except for who's in or not in my life.

how well connected is she in the Philippines? i think she's just putting the scare tactics on you. sorry to hear you are going through a hard time right now.

well as far as connections go...her mom works for some government agency, i think equivalent to fbi/cia type agency. someone on yahoo answers told me that she would need a large sum of money. that person didn't mention any papers that needed to be submitted. sounds like to me that it's basically a bribe to whomever handles incoming foreign travels. as far as hard times, it seems that she throws her arguements towards me on a weekly basis. i've been keeping track and it's been weekly. different topics every week. i hate to rant on this website, but really i have no other "non-biased" references to turn towards. even my own mother, who is filipina, is biased towards her.

my wife and i are having problems with each other and i've been thinking about divorcing her. we were never married in the philippines and she hasn't reported or submitted any sort of documents to the philippines stating that were married in the US. i do like filipina women overall in general, but feel like i married the wrong one, feeling like i cannot be happy for life with this woman. i have never been abusive towards her.

if i was to divorce her, she claims that she could put a ban on me from entering the philippines. is this true? i also feel like i should have unrestricted travel in that country since i have not commited any crime and have not had any bad relationships like this one.

can she put a ban on me from entering the philippines or be able to somehow keep another filipina woman from leaving the country to be my wife?

just junk mail and all the 790 forms

nothing addressed as a couple though

well....we have our certified marriage documents, but we didn't do anything formal so we don't have wedding pictures. we are a genuine couple and there's nothing she couldn't answer about me and me about her as far as our relationship goes. she has a driving learner's permit with my house address on it. every document has my house address on it. She hasn't worked since she got here, and so I never made it a sole priority to get her on my bank account and with my work schedule, i really don't have time to add her before our interview. she's on my dental and health plans. hmm...am i leaving something else out?...