Mark&Gladys

March 31, 2010

trace

March 31, 2010

Charlie, I am up to my ears in ex-wife issues. My kids are 8, 7, and 2 and now live 2500 miles away. Ours is a very long story, but we have numerous issues and she has made absolutely unbelievable accusations. Obviously for the best interests of the children it would be best for you to have a friendly, cooperative and rational relationship with your ex. Sometimes however, that is simply not possible as is the case for me. So, for what it is worth I add the following recommendations:

1. Keep everything away from the children regarding your conflict with your ex. That will be difficult, but you must be the better person in that regard and the kids will reward you for that some day. I always complement their mother when I talk to the kids if only for the small things she does well for them.

2. Do not see or talk to your ex in private if you can help it. Tape all phone and personal conversations and try to exchange the kids in public or with a chaperone. She can make accusations that will damage your reputation and jeopardize your visitation and custody if given the opportunity - even if you are completely innocent. The accusations alone will create a stigma and it will stick with you.

3. Be prepared to defend your rights as a father in court. Make you case and document it as strongly as possible. Use a divorce mediator if at all possible.

4. Keep your ex away from Pam and try to protect your relationship from the baggage. Remember that this is her first marriage and she wants it to be fresh and healthy and naive. That is also tricky and I know how difficult that can be, but do your best.

5. Time heals all wounds and your ex may get over the divorce and improve her attitude. BUT don't assume that will happen. Give her some time, but be prepared to fight if needed. Make sure you get your time with the kids and settle it in court if needed. They need a strong father more than ever.

Good Luck.

Mark

March 21, 2010

Logic? How about reality? How about the real, actual world? A look at the real, actual world would let anyone with have a damn brain recognize that wherever government runs a tight ship when it comes to the health care of their population, the cost is lower and the outcome is better. You can make stipulations to the contrary but the evidence speaks against you.

What evidence? The world is full of examples where centralized health care increased costs and provided much poorer care. The VA hospitals mentioned earlier are also an excellent example. Your points about the republicans ignoring the problem are appropriate, but they also lacked the votes and leadership to make true reforms. This bill actually will force people to purchase health insurance which is one step closer to socialism and a blatant violation of civil rights and that point alone will eventually kill it. In fact I believe 27 states are already moving on legislation to address that point directly.

Here are the facts:

This bill may protect a few of the disadvantaged people in the country - but we will be paying their bills. A redistribution of wealth!

It will not provide better care.

It will not lower costs.

It does not provide for tort reform.

And it will not impact the deficit in any measurable form.

There is nothing in this bill except more expense and red tape for the majority of the people in the USA.

The whole debate has boiled down to a power struggle for the Obama administration and Pelosi. The irony is that Pelosi does not even know what's in the bill - she wants to pass it so she can "find out what all is in it". She and her army have filled the bill with pork to buy votes and are now threatening any politician in the Dem party with political genocide if they dare hold to their principles and vote their conscious. The truth is that only a minority of the Dems actually support the bill but they have been bought or beat into submission.

So again I agree that we need health care reform desperately, but this bill is not the answer and has no chance of surviving the legal challenges coming even if it does pass today.

March 20, 2010

Quite correct. Next weekend they will vote on the reeducation camps...oops! That already passed today. Welcome to the UPSA*!

*United Progressive States of America

The most terrifying 9 words in the English language: I'm from the government and I'm here to help. Ronald Reagan. They have now been changed to: I have no intention of not passing this bill. Nancy Pelosi

The USA desperately needs health care reform - but this bill is NOT it. We need real leadership in WDC and real change that stimulates jobs, includes tort reform and encourages free enterprise. We don't need more bureaucracy, centralized socialized health care and higher taxes. Pelosi is an embarrassment to the US legislative process and Obama and company are out of control and in way over their heads - even the Democratic party is waking to that reality.

Another Ronald Reagan quote: The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would steal them away. The Obama administration is composed of 90+% academics and bureaucrats - by far the largest percentage in history. Is anyone surprised by that? God help us for the next 3 years - we're going to need it.

February 14, 2010

I need some advice. My wife's cousin is married to a Canadian man - they were married in the Philippines. She recently received her visa (after 18 months!) and happily flew to Canada to join him. But, to make a very long story short she has already returned home and is seeking a divorce. What is the process for her to divorce in Canada? What rights does she have? Will the divorce be recognized in the Philippines? Is there a "best case" scenario for them both?

I will write a post detailing the tragedy of this failed relationship soon, but need this advice in the mean time. :help:

Thanks to all in advance.

February 13, 2010

Communication ..... if it was easy everyone would be doing it. Just sayin. :whistle:

January 18, 2010

To all my friends in California Sur, or wherever they may be, please join me in extending congratulations to our San Diego Chargers for short circuiting the Jets!

Ouch. Sorry about that. Jets win 17-14. Kaeding misses 3 field goals all season and the misses 3 today. I was rooting for the Chargers also.

January 17, 2010

To all my friends in California Sur, or wherever they may be, please join me in extending congratulations to our San Diego Chargers for short circuiting the Jets!

You might want to wait until the game is over. Just a thought. :wacko:

January 8, 2010

My wife arrived from Cebu with me on December 16. It was about 50 degrees on the breezeway at Dulles when we arrived and deplaned and she was COLD! HAHAHA - I laughed with her!!. So I was also a bit worried about how she would adjust to the weather. But since then she has been totally tested and has passed with flying colors!! On December 18 (day 2) we received 20 inches of snow with wind where we live in Maryland. A record snow for the area and her first snow ever. We walked and enjoyed the snow and took lots of pics. On December 24 (day 8) while we were visiting family in Iowa we received a 16 inch snow with some ice and very cold. On January 1 (day 14) while visiting more family in Idaho we received a 16 inch snow that was very heavy and wet. Through all of this Gladys was excited to see the snow and experience the change in temperature. We have been walking and sledding and built a snowman, had a snow ball fight and played for hours - and she has enjoyed it all and has not really been cold at all. Now we are traveling in Wisconsin and have seen temperatures of -15 F (and lots more snow)!! She has not complained and has simply dressed warmer and learned to adjust to the conditions. In fact I think she is more adjusted to the climate this winter than I am!! (However, her feet are very cold at night when she gets into bed - WHOA!!) :lol:

Food has been just ok for her. It has been difficult to get her the foods she likes while we are traveling, but we are doing our best. She is also struggling to adjust to the cold dry air of winter in the North. We use a humidifier and saline nasal spray which helps.

So the moral is that if your wife is happy and excited to be here she will have no trouble adjusting to the colder weather.

December 20, 2009

http://www.skipsbeachresort.com/
I love Plantation Bay resort but want to try another place that's not so expensive.

Anyone ever stayed here? Sure looks good.

Skip's is just ok. Skip is gone now so the management has changed. Not nearly as nice as the online pics - at least last January.

December 9, 2009

Hi All,

We are looking for Fil/AM couples in the WDC Baltimore area. Are there any local groups active? We would like to network with similar couples and would like to meet some new friends with similar interests? I look forward to hearing from you.

We also travel through Iowa and Idaho periodically, so new friends there would be a blessing as well.

Happy Holidays!!

December 8, 2009

One really great thing about my trip to Tacloban was the hotel I stayed in - Hotel Alejandro. It belonged to Dr. Alejandro when the Japanese invaded Leyte and they took it from him and used it for their officers. The old house is completely restored and the hotel is built around it on 3 sides. It's an amazing old home and it is FILLED with photos and memorabilia from the war, as is the rest of the hotel. There are original documents there as well - the letter written to the Filipinos by Gen. Macarthur after the liberation, leaflets that were dropped by air instructing the people about the pending invasion and the photo collection is just amazing.

This is the upstairs of the old home

and this is the bottom floor. You walk through the old home to enter the lobby of the hotel.

This one isn't related to the war of course, but what a very cool place the roof of the hotel is!!

Not only was the old house filled with photos like this, the entire hotel is! They were adding more photos to the walls nearly the entire time we were there. We spent a lot of time looking through them and still didn't get to see them all. My Uncle was in the battle of Leyte so it was pretty amazing to look through all of the history they have hanging on the walls there.

Awesome photos! Thanks for sharing.

December 8, 2009

The day we reflect upon the Japanese sneak attack on Pearl Harbor in Hawaii, that killed over 4,000 American while they were sleeping.
10 hours later they attacked the Philippines

The USA was staying neutral during WW2, while Germany was conquerin Europe, and Japan was taking over Asia. Once the did thier cowardly attack, it forced the USA into WW2.

I made a trip to Pearl harbor a few years ago, and their is still oil rising from the sunken Arizona with hundred of American entombed in the ship. I also made trip to PunchBowl Cemetery where 2 family members were buried from the attack.

I will never Forget nor Forgive

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attack_on_Pearl_Harbor

Thank you for honoring this day. This was as horrific and tragic as any wartime event ever in the history of the US. We as a society can never forget what happened at Pearl Harbor and we must prevent the same scenario from ever developing again, here or in any free nation on earth. I also lost family in both World Wars and the cowardice of this attack should and must be remembered forever. The behavior of Japan in particular in the Pacific with regard to prisoners of war and the treatment of occupied nations was also inexcusable under any circumstance.

But I would submit to you that the attack on Pearl Harbor, and WWII in general, was precipitated by greed and an arrogant quest for absolute power and world dominance by the imperialistic leadership of both Japan and Germany - at the EXPENSE of the common citizenship in those countries who for the most part had no control nor no part in the atrocities committed. That is why we must also now forgive both nations. They suffered even more than we as a result of the war as the devastation across Germany and particularly the craters in Hiroshima and Nagasaki clearly attest.

To forgive is devine. To not forgive is immoral. To forget is unforgivable.

Just my thoughts today. God Bless all our Veterans on this Hallowed Anniversary!

December 6, 2009

I am American Girl, I married my husband who is from Philippines. It just turned out that way. I didnt go" looking" for a foreign guy.....we just met eachother I never thought I would marry a foreign guy or an Asian guy, it just happened. .........its called LOVE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Ok I will weigh in here. I too married a Pinay by accident and purely for love. So, I commend you for your answer and I hope you have the love of your lifetime. I was not looking for a filipina, nor ever expected to marry someone like her. But here I am and I am very happy.

With regard to white women, I have married, dated and worked with lots of white women in the USA and I have the utmost respect for them. I work daily with white women in my office who are brilliant and professional and very talented. These women are beautiful, smart, sexy and intelligent - and very successful.

However, there IS a difference when it comes to relationships. In general (and there ARE exceptions) white women in the USA have never experienced true hardship. They do not really understand the concept of community, family and relationships. They often do not appreciate discipline and sacrifice and are often very shallow and materialistic. They are typically focused on careers and a new car - not on a husband and family. I am not even saying this is all bad - just reality. But they tend to be spoiled and driven by their careers. Relationships are a distant second for many. Personal values are predicated on peer pressures and they lack character. Consequently, it is hard for men who want a more traditional marriage and relationship to find a woman in the USA that meets their needs.

I will use you as example with my apologies. I initially thought your login name was a bit strange for a filipina. Now I see that you are not from the Philippines and it makes more sense to me. In fact, no filipina would use a name like that. They are too discrete, honorable and conservative. If that does not make sense to you then you really do not understand what a filipina is. What do you imagine that most people think when they read your login name? Immediately, I discounted you as someone only interested in partying and selfish physical/material pleasures - someone who does not really understand relationships and the importance of family, community and personal values. That is absolutely typical for most women in the USA and is exactly why most of us appreciate the values, beauty (physical and otherwise) and unconditional love we found in the Philippines.

December 6, 2009

Took a drive to a powerplant lake, the use the lake water to cool the turbines and thus the water temp is bath water warm in the middle of the winter.
And the fishing is pretty darn good. We ended up with 28 total bass in the boat, had about 12 more either shake off, or break off.

It was cold yesterday, I don't think temp climbed much above freezing yesterday

Looks to me like your buddy caught the nicest fish! What's up with that?? Maybe your bait is not as big as you think!?!? HAHAHA. Looks like you had lots of fun. I'm jealous.

I missed my whitetail hunt in Iowa this year - my passion. Oh well, I guess going to the Phil to bring my wife home is a great reason not to hunt for one season.

I stay in Des Moines on Sunday, Monday and Thursday. This would have been a good year to go too. You wouldn't even need a rifle or bow this year though, just a scoop shovel...stop every 100 yards and shovel it in the pickup!! This is the worst year I've seen I think. It's like a butcher shop between here and Kansas City

Yes I understand that. In Iowa during November after dark its every man for himself. I have hit or nearly hit dozens. They are a menace during the rut. I hunt in SW Iowa on our family farm and worked in DSM until October when I moved to a new job in Beltsville, MD. I had hoped to get back to hunt but no luck.

December 6, 2009

Took a drive to a powerplant lake, the use the lake water to cool the turbines and thus the water temp is bath water warm in the middle of the winter.
And the fishing is pretty darn good. We ended up with 28 total bass in the boat, had about 12 more either shake off, or break off.

It was cold yesterday, I don't think temp climbed much above freezing yesterday

Looks to me like your buddy caught the nicest fish! What's up with that?? Maybe your bait is not as big as you think!?!? HAHAHA. :rofl: Looks like you had lots of fun. I'm jealous.

I missed my whitetail hunt in Iowa this year - my passion. Oh well, I guess going to the Phil to bring my wife home is a great reason not to hunt for one season. :yes:

December 6, 2009

I am American Girl, I married my husband who is from Philippines. It just turned out that way. I didnt go" looking" for a foreign guy.....we just met eachother I never thought I would marry a foreign guy or an Asian guy, it just happened. .........its called LOVE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Ok I will weigh in here. I too married a Pinay by accident and purely for love. So, I commend you for your answer and I hope you have the love of your lifetime. I was not looking for a filapina, nor ever expected to marry someone like her. But here I am and I am very happy.

With regard to white women I have married, dated and worked with lots of white women in the USA and I have the utmost respect for them. I work daily with white women in my office who are brilliant and professional and very talented. These women are beautiful, smart, sexy and intelligent - and very successful.

However, there IS a difference when it comes to relationships. In general (and there ARE exceptions) white women in the USA have never experienced true hardship. They do not really understand the concept of community and relationships. They often do not appreciate discipline and sacrifice and are very materialistic. They are focused on careers and a new car - not on a husband and family. I am not even saying this is all bad - just reality. But they tend to be spoiled and driven by their careers. Relationships are a distant second for many. Consequently, it is hard for men who want a more traditional marriage and relationship to find a woman in the USA that meets their needs.

I will use you as example with my apologies. I initially thought your login name was a bit strange for a filipina. Now I see that you are not from the Philippines and it makes more sense to me. In fact, no filipina would use a name like that. They are too discrete, honorable and conservative. If that does not make sense to you then you really do not understand what a filipina is. What do you imagine that most people think when they read your login name? Immediately, I discounted as someone only interested in partying and selfish physical/material pleasures - someone who does not really understand relationships and the importance of family and relationships. That is absolutely typical for most women in the USA and is exactly why most of us appreciate the values, beauty (physical and otherwise) and unconditional love we found in the Philippines.

December 5, 2009

Hi All,

Thought you might appreciate a summary of our USA IR/CR visa journey. For us there were no serious issues and only one mistake! Overall I think we did well and completed the process in good time. Here is a summary.

We were married on January. This was our first wait. I did not file our I130 until we had our "certified" marriage certificate which we did not get until March. So we filed with US Immigration then. We received our Noa1 promptly.

I was expected to then not receive the Noa2 until September, but actually received it in July. Then on to the National Visa Center. This process was a bit confusing and the VJ interaction was very helpful. But this process went pretty well with both fees paid online, forms downloaded, scanned and returned. Remember to keep copies of all forms submitted. I did not save a copy our I864 form and then sent it without a signature. So I had to start over. I am sure this mistake cost us 2-3 weeks, but it was easily corrected - just more time and hassle than it should have been.

Once we were finished at the NVC, we received our visa appointment date in about 2 weeks. At that point Gladys went to Manila for her medical exam. She did not want to try to complete the med exam and interview on the same trip and I was more worried about something being an issue in the medical exam. But no worries. It went well. See the NinJones summary for an excellent discussion of the med exam process.

Then on to the visa interview December 3. Gladys had general questions about me and her - name, age, address, etc. Nothing difficult. Then a few specific questions about my divorce, employment and background. Again more specific but not too difficult. The consular did look at her packet - which was detailed and very well organized - but had only a few comments. Again nothing difficult and she was finished by 9am. Total time in the embassy was 2 1/2 hours. She was approved and actually received her visa in Cebu on Saturday after interviewing at 6:30am on Thursday. Total time from our first submittal of the I130 to visa was about 260 days.

Lessons Learned:

1. You do not need a lawyer. In fact I am sure that will add time and significant expense. There is plenty of good help on this site and your questions do get answered.

2. There IS a difference between an IR/CR visa (married) and a K (fiance). The most confusing issue online are the fees due before the interview. For the IR/CR your fees are ALL PAID to the National Visa Center (at least in the USA), so the only fee due locally at or before your interview is the visa shipment fee, paid at the embassy after your interview. You do have to pay for your medical exam on the day of your appointment. K1 visa applicants pay a fee in the Philippines prior to the interview and must have the receipt at the interview. Be careful getting advice for a K visa from someone getting a IR/CR and vice versa in this regard.

3. Pay attention to details on all forms. Make sure everything is completed accurately and CONSISTENTLY from form to form. Much information is re-entered on multiple forms. Make sure it is always the same. Remember to save copies of all forms submitted and DO NOT FORGET to sign them! HA! Once your National Visa Center application forms are completed and the fees are paid submit the I864 and DS 230 forms together and as soon as you are notified by the NVC. This is a bit confusing, but both are needed and can be sent together once your fees are paid and confirmed - you will receive an email.

4. At the med exam and interview be prepared. Be very polite, patient and professional. Dress accordingly - clean and conservative - no skin, no extra makeup - look professional. During your interview be calm, collected and professional (everyone is nervous). Answer all questions politely, respectfully, and accurately, but do not provide any additional information unless asked specifically. Address each question succinctly and directly and do not over talk or provide extra information. Less is much better as long as your questions are answered. You will be asked about your spouses USA address, history, work, etc.

5. Before your interview we recommend reviewing all "information" forms submitted especially the DS230 which you will be required to sign after your interview - the consular will have it there for you at your interview. Remember you will need the I864 form also at your interview.

6. Your "proof of relationship" packet for your interview is important and will determine your success. It should be clean and well organized. For our interview we included the following:

Copies of all important documents - CENOMAR, birth cert, marriage cert, etc.

Examples of letters, cards and emails - both physical and virtual-electronic - covering the span of the relationship.

Proof of visits to the Philippines - receipts for airlines, hotels etc, photocopy of passport stamps, etc.

Copies of Yahoo chat logs for each month.

Bank and money transfer receipts.

Phone records.

Photos from every visit - various locations, times, with friends and family etc.

I am arriving in the Philippines on the 9th and we will be home in Maryland by Christmas. We would love to hear from all of you especially on the East Coast and in Idaho where we also will spend a lot of time.

Hope this helps! Enjoy the ride and Best of Luck to you all! Happy Holidays!!

December 5, 2009