Peace be still

Please read my time line then you can see what kind of question they ask.

"Have continuous residence in the United States as a lawful permanent resident for at least 3 years immediately preceding the date of filing the application."

Ok so my husband can file in July 2012 then. That will make it his 3rd year here in the USA.

At the time, my fiance (now husband) he was 29 and I was 44. His interview was normal and was never harassed about our age difference as many of my friends here with a age gap of 14-25 years apart and all coming from Morocco. I guess it all depends on how often the Petitioner traveled to Morocco to visit, how much evidence they had of their relationship, how long was the relationship before getting engaged, etc. We took our time and most of my friends here who are now happily married never rushed into marriage or got engaged so soon after meeting and we all went to visit many times. Falling in love requires meeting more than once or twice, you need to experience the culture and their families and most of all sharing time with the one you want to marry or not. It happens here all the time, when the guy finally gets here and walaaaa the USC says OMG your so different than when we were online. This is why the CO's enjoy seeing real relationships and commitments from the Beneficiary . Heck, anyone can fall in love over the internet but that is not considered a bona fide relationship or proof of anything when it comes to Morocco.

I hope your interview goes as expected, and just answer honestly and from the heart. That's all you can do.......

Best Wishes....

You are also attractive and the two of you look like a good couple. So it all depends on if it looks like they belong together or not.

Ok you will have a big target on your back in Casablanca..... How does your wife look? is she 45 and 300lbs of fat? Keep it real and be honest. If you look like a miss match you got trouble. And truth be told you or more than likely older than 28yrs old yourself because most Moroccan true age is what is on his/her national card. This is no disrespect, but my husband is 4yrs older than what his national card say he is. Look at the pictures of the two of you and if you are like ugggg then buddy you really got a problem. I'm only going to be honest with you. I'm older than my husband but i'm also a nice looking attractive woman and we don't look like a miss match at all.

If my husband just received his 10yr green card, and he has been here in the states for 2yrs and 6mos, can he apply for his citizenship in July 2012 which? Sorry i'm a little confussed with the 3yrs perminant resident. Does that mean he has to have had his 10yr green card for 3yrs before applying for his citizenship?

We've been together for 10 yrs and married for almost 5 years.Plus we have a kid. I cant believe how spiteful he could be at times.He threatens to not allow me to get the Green Card.We sent the I 130 which I learned was a mistake to send as a stand alone.Anyhow,I could wait since I did it the long way..What bothers me is the constant threats.ahe also needs to gather his tax information and still hasnt.My Joint Sponsor will have my documents ready by next week and after that,I just need to do my Medical.My husband is causing alot of stress.Do I have any rights as his wife for half a decade and the mother of his child ?? i mean,just incase he does something ?

Canada is a beutiful place to live, heck you get free medical there. But I believe you do have rights, I personally believe you will just fine.

OK, I get it. The marriage is for real. It is the people in the marriage. Based on what you just explained, he is not commiting fraud, he never did. He is just a different person than what you wanted, or expected. I guess my wife sees me similar to how you see him. In the begining of our marriage, I used to make jokes with her all the time, and she always sees it as me being sarcastic with her. It came to a point where our communication became business-like - we would just discuss things about the house, or bills, ot things to do. She keeps blaming me for not being communicative. True, during the time when our documents were being processed, we communicated a lot through emails, and phone, etc. But there is a difference in knowing someone before and after marriage. How can I communicate with someone who is cold? At work, everyone, I mean everyone knows me to be a jovial person, even in stressful times. So how did I become so 'silent' in my marriage? I adapted to prevent mis-understandings that may arise from a joke that will always be taken in the way my wife sees it, instead of the way a joke is supposed to be seen. I don't think you have to prove or tell the immigration anything except that he is the silent type. He has done nothing to prove that he entered the marriage to commit fraud. He is just not the chit-chat person you wanted in a husband.

He received his 10 year green card in the mail today.

your right we need to take a step my husband is a police officer

So what your husband is a Police officer. So many Moroccans are committing fraud so you my dear just have to deal with it. It's about time they stop favoring females over the males.

OK, I get it. The marriage is for real. It is the people in the marriage. Based on what you just explained, he is not commiting fraud, he never did. He is just a different person than what you wanted, or expected. I guess my wife sees me similar to how you see him. In the begining of our marriage, I used to make jokes with her all the time, and she always sees it as me being sarcastic with her. It came to a point where our communication became business-like - we would just discuss things about the house, or bills, ot things to do. She keeps blaming me for not being communicative. True, during the time when our documents were being processed, we communicated a lot through emails, and phone, etc. But there is a difference in knowing someone before and after marriage. How can I communicate with someone who is cold? At work, everyone, I mean everyone knows me to be a jovial person, even in stressful times. So how did I become so 'silent' in my marriage? I adapted to prevent mis-understandings that may arise from a joke that will always be taken in the way my wife sees it, instead of the way a joke is supposed to be seen. I don't think you have to prove or tell the immigration anything except that he is the silent type. He has done nothing to prove that he entered the marriage to commit fraud. He is just not the chit-chat person you wanted in a husband.

I need the chit chat lol. Forget that he did the chit chat before we got married and what it took to get me he has to do it to keep me. I'm impulsive true indeed I can take ownership of that part of myself and at times I can have a potty mouth like he never heard before in his entire life living in Morocco lol. Woo Wee, he saw that side of me when I get upset when he moved here to the USA. At the end of the day, I know where all his finances is which is with us and sending what he can home when he can. We just purchased a home and we are remodeling it. That in itself is very stressful. I like things done immediately and he doesn't like to spend money he rather do it. So here I sit in a home that doesn't have my Oak Wood floors installed yet. The wood is in the the foyer, and he is working all these hours but yet he has an attitude when I talk about paying someone to install them. I'm sure he feels guilty about not sending more money home to his family, and I understand. But it is very stressful for him and I see that and it makes me stressful. We plan on being honest that is the only way because I have nothing to hide nor have I done anything wrong. I can't fake or pretend, i'm not an actress I just won't do it. I told him to be honest about where we are at in our relationship and not to try and lie and act like things have been peaches and cream when they haven't. The adjustment period is taking me longer than what I expected.

Wasitrealorfake,

You opened up way more than before on your posts and I can see it might not be a Visa issue....if one looks at at what you wrote me...it is a chance we take when meeting and falling in love with a distance relationship...How could you have seen signs of what he suffers from?

How can anyone really know a person until they live together?

It is marriage and growth and learning. You have good intentions, so I really hope he can see you both would benefit from counseling.

He has 3 jobs? Bravo Hard working man. He has good qualities just in that to start with...

If you both feel the love is worth it to fight for, then try.

But I doubt it will help with more posts on VJ.

Do you have to go to this interview? (That was the context of your original post right? About the lie detector test..)

If yes then go....but it does not look like he defrauded you or the government..he as issues and in turn you both have issues.

Marital issues, relationship issues and decisions to make. Everyone has them. You have made your first step by identifying them...now find some help and make it work.

If in the future you have exhausted all possibilities and it just does not work out...dont stay in a unhappy marriage. Little word of personal advice. You cant fix another person and you never get your years back.

I hope you have peace soon and find your way.

You have a major point. Yes he is a hard working man and yes he does his best to take care of home. You don't know someone until you live with them. Trust me I've been so used to living by myself and doing things my own way, and then all of a sudden I have a husband that I have to share my space with, and all the above. It takes alot of adjusting for an independent woman like myself. Truth be told it would crush me if things didn't go right. uggggg. we just have to work on our communication alot more. Thanks for your words of wisdom.

I do not know your entire story. When you have spoken to your husband has he said he loves you or has he said he only used you? I seen you first applied for K1 and it was sent back and then your cr1 was done and approved within 4 months of petition.

In November you wrote that you loved him. What do you love? If someone has not spoken to you in 2 years what makes you love him? Does he have another woman, wife? Is he home all the time? Does he work and support you? Are you still with him because of religious beliefs or you want him to love you?

If my husband did not show me love or affection or speak to me for 2 years I would never sign for him. I would NEVER lie to the government and say this is a true marriage just so he gets rewarded with a 10 yr card and then he will immediatey leave me. Lying to our government is a crime punishable by money and jail time. hmmmm I am not going to prison for someone who has no care for me or us.

I would cancel the interview at this point and make him start talking.

Thank you for ready what I wrote. So you see the yoyo of the relationship that i've been going through. I just don't think it's normal at all. I refuse to lie to any government official ohhhh nooooo. I told him i'm telling the truth about our relationship and our flosses. Heck they are the professionals so then they can make the decision. Yes I love him, but I'm not a fool in love. I'm going to put everything on the table and let GOD be the Judge and the Jury on this matter. I talked to him, and he tells me because he works alot plus i enrolled him into college. We have very little time together which isn't good at all. I don't know if it's normal to go on vacation and argue? I made sure he was independent from the gate when he got here. I got him all the decent jobs he has, plus made sure he got his driver licence immediately and purchased him a truck before up grading to a newer model sports car that I might add he financed it himself with no co-signer. I always wanted him to feel independent and not dependent on me. At times I feel he is very ungrateful. I'm not asking him to kiss my tail, but the humble man I once knew is a long distance memory for me.

Your can stay gentle and kind....but if you know the truth and you still allow the interview to proceed with what you just posted...you are not just doing yourself good also u are defrauding the government with him.

I am sorry your relationship is not what it was from when you "fell in love through the internet", filed and refiled...I really wish you the best with working on your relationship.

Make the right decision! If he mislead you he mislead the consulate and in turn all of us have to pay harder through CASA.

Please dont take this as me personally saying it is you or your husbands fault...but see that you would be doing the correct thing for you, and many other people...and most of all it is always in GOD's hands.

GOD knows what is in your heart and how you approach your decisions....gentle or not...you know what is the right thing to do.

I have no intention on lying at all. Trust me I've been too bless, and GOD only knows his faith is in GOD's hands. I told him that I wasn't going to lie about nothing and the importants of telling the truth. You are so right about how hard it is for CASA it was hard for me and him, and I fought like the pure dickings to get him here. Alot of energy and time plus money but I don't feel you can put a price tag on love. I know where my heart was the entire time and I thought I knew where his was as well. We live together and GOD knows he doesn't go out, he doesn't send money home without talking to me. He does his best. But at times he can be so cold and distance. I recommended him to see someone about his OCD which causes him anxiety and it causes us a great deal of problems. He acted this way with his family in Morocco, infact his own brother doesn't really bother with him, and I often wondered why. He can be up one minute and down the next. He probly has Bipolor. I'm not going to lie and act like he didn't do good towards me at all because he has. My problem is when I'm angry I will post something or even do something impulsively, so trust me I got my own flows. This is where all my confusion comes in at I guess because we are both not perfect at all. My mother loves him to peaces and so does my family, but I was like you don't live with this moody ocd person I do. For example, he can't sit down and have a family dinner at my mother's house until he starts cleaning stuff OMG it drives me completely insane.... I can't tell you how many times I flipped out. My mother's home is very clean. He thinks about things to clean all the time, and then he can be laying in the bed then get up and start cleaning. It's crazy. The other day he just got done working all three of his jobs, he came home took his shower said his prayer and started cleaning fiddling with stuff on the dresser. My home is clean it's insane. Before he came I had a maid he made me fire her. I wish to ALLAH I didn't. I'm begging him to let me bring her back but of course he thinks about the money that could be put to good use so I do understand, but his ways drive me crazy and I guess cause I don't understand him i'm driving him insane as well. Sounds like we need marriage counseling and he needs medication for his AxisI Diagnosis. ugggggg

Does he live with you? And if so, how can you have only talked a few times in two years? Sounds fishy to me. Uscis doesnt do lie detector tests that I know of. They base decisions on the totality of the relationship. It doesnt sound like you really have one, based just on what you said.

We used to talk everyday when he was in Morocco, and now he works three jobs and goes to school. But when he is home there is really no conversation at all. It's small. Yes we lived together the entire time, and he swears his undying love for me, but it's not the fairy tale I wanted for myself. I'm not happy. I just wish they could give him a lie detector test so badly.

If you knowingly married knowing it was only business, then both of you can be in some serious hot water. If he used you for GC purpose, then he is in hot water. If you lie and tell your interviewer that all is well, then you are in hot water, if they find out your marriage was business. Having said that, let me say a little about my marriage...A few months after arriving here, I got my first real job. Because I opened a separate bank account, my USC wife and her family began telling others that I only got married to get green card. When I do anything that is not sanctioned by my USC Wife, they keep bringing up that line of talk. If I don't obey and comply to what my USC wife instructs, it makes me a bad husband, who only wanted a GC (her exact words). I can see my case is nothing like yours, as I lived all my marriage with my wife. All I will say is, if you lie to the USCIS, and they find out, which they will, as they are trained to detect certain stiuations, what will happen to you? Be honest with the USCIS.

Please read what I wrote before making a responce. I married out of pure love. My husband doesn't come from money, and I'm not 400lbs and old. I stated he is not the man I thought he was when I went to Morocco and visited him 5x's. If i was going to commit fraud it darn sure would not have been with someone that was poor!!!!!!! No offence i wouldn't go to jail for my own mother. Why in the heck would I go to jail for a man. Who mention anything about my marriage being business? If it was and darn sure wouldn't be posting it here dahhhhhhhhh

He has an interview coming up, and I'm confused about whether I should go or not. I know this man is not the same man that I feel in love with over the internet, and I truly feel as if I was con by a professional conartist. I don't desire no evil towards him because there are some many oppurtunities here in America. But to sign for the 10yr visa, I can't do it at all. I can count the words on my one hand how many conversation we had since he been here since he got here the last 2yrs. I'm completely embarrashed that I even got myself into this type of situation and I feel for any other women or men that find themselves in this type of situation. My heart is gentle and I don't want him to be deported so I wonder if they can give him a lie detector test?

I'm just baffled by this I-864 Affidavit of Support. This is insane. The govt must be astounded that there are any legal immigrants into America! Who are the financial suicide volunteers who are signing these papers? Would you marry someone and sign a pre-nupt that says: "If you are ever divorced that you will pay ex-spouse $13,000 MINIMUM for the rest of their lives, and have additional liabilities with the govt? No one would get married. I mean the sponsor is putting himself / herself at a complete disadvantage. It's giving your spouse a loaded gun and saying, okay honey, when we have an argument, let's try to forget that you are holding a loaded gun. And yet people sign this form.

I am baffled. Am I missing something here?

I was going to try to bring a fiance here to the USA, but after reading this form....I'm utterly floored. This can't be right.

That's how I felt about the I751. It was for like 10yrs you will be held responsible for him/her. I love my hubby but it's crazy to do such a thing. I to struggle with the same situation although I do love him, it's always that voice in the back of your head.

They are past the deadline of their 6mos period, and the USCIS said that they are just working on February's application. We didn't send ours off until April. So that puts them like 47ydays behind. Has anyone ever gone through this before if so please reply. But i'm telling you up front right now don't ask any questions such as why didn't you want to sign. I'm not going into to that at all. I'm i in love with my husband and he with me only ALLAH himself knows the true answer and I'm not here to be battered or condemed.

I pray the rest of your journey goes well.

It was on all national news shows that the President checked off his race as Black/African American on his Census form last year. It was made a story in an attempt to make him more popular within the black community which has always had doubts about his blackness, because according to some prominent black leaders, "Obama was not down for the fight". It would appear that the President did not want to recognize his biracial background for purely political reasons.

Hi ho Hitler, first of all here in America if you had any ounce of Black in you guess what? Look at Halle Berry, she calls herself African American why is that? Because her mother didn't have any choice but to mark that on her birth certificate. It was no fight hell Bush put this economy in the slops let's be honest it started with Ronald Ronald Wilson Reagan = 666? I thank GOD for allowing a man of Color to live in a House that was built off the blood sweet and tears of African Slaves. After our great leader President Obama wins his next term and Biden after him I pray for a Native American Latino to get into office then a Latino.

I see alot of Middle Eastern men driving truck all the time. They get hired we have a Muslim driver who works with us in our building and I know of several more in the bay area. I see every type of people driving trucks.

Good luck on one coming from Egypt driving a truck now. I think the CNA training is an excellent Idea except for it's against his religion customes to wash another woman's private parts. But when you're trying to put food on the table, and pay the bills, one has to make the right decision for him/her own self.

I corrected your typos.

Trying reading again what I wrote.

No where did I mention the color of his skin.

I'm not in English class nor am I conducting business. This is VJ who gives a rat's A** about typos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dont say that.. I know its difficult but I dont think like you.. For me what really matters is to never give up on my relationship. I know we'll find ppl with prejudice everywhere, but our families and friends support us, and thats what is most important, we'll go on.. And here is not about being a First class citizen or second class.. Thats not the point.. We all deserve to be treated fairly n professionally, as long as you are honest n you are doing everything legally..

Obvisouly you are a WHITE woman to speak with such a lack of understanding on how it feels to be treated unfairly in this country to the point you felt harrashed in the airport. BOO HOO. My people face that eveyday riding down the streets in their BMW's that they bust their a** for and are highly educated and still get harrassed. I get harrassed in our airports all the time. So your family being supportive don't have a darn thing to do with how this country is. Please let's keep it real and get your head out your butt and come into reality.

The President got his job without changing his name.

I would second networking.

No offence but you're ignorant. He is a biracial, but society calls him a BLACK man because of the color of his skin regardless that his mother that raised him, and grandparents to be the man he is today were WHITE folks. His father came from a African Nation that were ISLAMIC. More power to our great leaders mother for not having any shame of who her son ancesters were.

Let's be serious people what truck driving agency would trust him? The first thing they will think is that he is a huge liability of transporting weapons of mass destruction. That is the society that we live in and it's the majority mind set. Sorry I didn't make the rules I just live in them. His best bet is to reach out to his Muslim Community......... Let's take a look at what's going on in Egypt, please people. Send your husband to his local Dunkin Donuts or 7-11 stores to apply. If you live in a rural community that the Muslim population is low well then all I can say is ALLAH be with you. I know you don't have the money to relocate to a state where the Islamic Community is large, but you need to start thinking quick if you want to save your marriage.

If you're working you might need to help him get into your place of employment. Or you need to use some of the connections that you have to get him a job. That's what I did with my husband. Did you try a temp agency? Fast food places will not hire him without and work experience unfortunatly but if you get him in with a temp agency first that will give him a reference. Then you need to make sure that you do his resume. You don't want to put down too much quilification if he is applying to work at Mcdonalds because then they will say he is to quilify. There is hope Sister hang in there. Walks in the park are free. Pack a lunch and enjoy the beuty of ALLAH's creation. Connect him with the Muslim community see if that helps. Has he reached out to his fellow Muslims? The key is humbleness is so important on job interviews. If you go in with a proudful spirit then you more then likely won't get the job.