phopho06

Always a good idea, try to communicate. If you are being abused, emotionally or physically, you need to get to a solution whether it is sitting down and talking to him or getting out. I kind of get short tempered with Claudeth from time to time becuase of our cultural differences and certainly need to work at trying better to understand her.

For your husband to stifle your contacts with friends isn't a very good sign. You really need to try and talk this through with him. If he refuses then you have some hard decisions to make.

Is your husband considerably older than you? That is another problem with us, by the end of the day I am pretty tired so sometimes I don't want to go out but I also can't punish my wife because I am tired. She seems to have the ability to wrap me around her little finger though so usually gets her way.

Does your husband take you anywhere for entertainment? That is important, especially if you are home alot. I used to take Claudeth karaoking but she doesn't seem to want to do that any more.

I hope, for your sake, you are able to work through these issues and have a happy and fruitful life.

Merry Christmas!

no he doesnt bring me no where. i always stay home always and some times go to my friend if its okay with him and if its not i wont coz he get mad at me..

Moved from AOS forum to "Moving Here and Your New Life in America" forum as more appropriate location.

Moderator hat off now:

You are still newlyweds. Every marriage is an exercise in compromise. Each partner has to learn how to live with another person - often a very different person - in their lives. The first year of marriage is almost always the hardest because both individuals are still learning about each other and having to make major adjustments in both their expectations and the reality of the new life. Literally, you are building a new life together - and that is not an easy thing to do, no matter what any one else may say to the contrary.

Your husband is older and he has become accustomed to his life in his way. You have moved 'into' his existing life, so the changes are going to be harder for him to make. Change is also harder to do as you get older. While you are feeling he is being inconsiderate and lacking in understanding, he is seeing you as trying to build a life separate from him. You have friends he doesn't know, speak a language together he doesn't speak, and want to go out and have fun without him. He probably sees these things as very threatening. He doesn't seem willing to make some of the adjustments you need him to make, either, though, so both of you need to be more understanding of the problems the other is facing. His frustration seems to be showing by his swearing and his resistance to making any changes.

Quite honestly, I think both of you would benefit from having some sort of marriage counselling. You are both dealing with a new marriage, an age difference, a cultural difference, a language difference and all of the resulting differences in expectations. You need to talk about these and learn more about how to live together as a couple - and what adjustments both of you need to make and are willing or able to make. If some of these necessary adjustments are not possible, then that is when the two of you need to look at if this marriage is able to survive or not.

Good luck to you both.

when i go ut i ask him to come but because of his work some times he doesnt my friends always invite me in there home and him to but i relaly dont know why he doent like them but when he first met them his was ncie with them but now his not..i really dont know.. and one of my problem to if i want to buy some grocery he doenst like the thing i want to eat he always thing its expensive..

HELLO SIS!!!, oh i didnt know that ur having a problem there in ur hubz, but anyways, i want to greet u a merry x-mas and wish u and ur hubz a bountiful new year... pho.... i understand what u feel... u love ur hubz right..? and think he loves u too.. remember ur age gap is 39 yrs.. if there is a thing that u cant be deal with talk to him and give the best of u to understand ur situation... he loves u and when a man loves a woman then he will understand what ever it is... yeah right 39 yrs. is really a big age gap sis... lots of things between a young and an old man is difficult to understand... both of u should communicate well... and yes not proper if u talk in filipino when ur hubz is around, u can do it if he is not around hehehe.. remember he can't understand filipno, but u can teach him, i do that to my hubz hehehe, and think it works good.... u can try it too sis.... when u get ur GC filing a divorce is an only option if he is really bad to u... but i think u can solve it if u both really want it... just a simple problem... tell to ur hubz that u want a filipino friends, as u said no neighbors at ur place right... and having filipino friends will ease ur boredom there and will give u happiness too.... and tell hubz also u need to use internet, oh why the internet is not unlimited...?, u just arrived there in USA, and u need to talk and see ur family always here in the Phil. and pls. give each other time to adjust!!!!

goodluck to u sis!!, i know u can do it baby!!!

hello sis.. uu sis im having them problem im trying my veyr best to explain to him thing but i tihnk hes not open minded enough and some times i feel like a prisoner in there jungle world.. it makes me really sad.. even if i try to understand him.. ad some times i just want to cry.. coz every time i try to tell him its like my tears just want to jump out of my eyes.. i really fell sooo sad..

have you tried talking to your husband about what you feel? tell him upfront that you would like to have filipino friends and assure him that you wouldn't stray from your marriage. be true to your words.

yeah i didi but he doesnt understand the first time i came here it fine with him for me to have friends and now his changing .. i feel he doesnt like them even if they are very nice invite him for dinner and give him Christmas gift . and they welcome him in there home.. but i dont know with them i really dont understand.

living in the country and being on a limited bandwith internet is tough on any new immigrant. having a husband who is not comfortable with your native language or people from your country is even worse. my wife has a chinese friend with a husband similar to yours, so we hear this often.

you need to change your situation enuf to make it liveable, or you need to get out of it. start by writing your husband a letter, explaining to him the things you need to do to keep your sanity. explain to him that you have not yet adjusted to America, and that it might take you a few years to do so. write that you need to keep a part of your PI personality alive while developing a new American persona. put it on paper, as logically as you can.

if this doesn't work, suggest marriage counseling. tell your husband you are very unhappy and that you need to involve a 3rd party negotiator to help him understand how you feel. if he won't agree to this, tell him you are considering divorce. if he still won't agree, then you are in a difficult corner, and should be ready to move over to a girlfriend's house to show that you are serious.

whatever you do, respect your husband and remember that he has gone to a lot of trouble to bring you here. respect him for his accomplishment, not only at present, but also in the past. tell him you admire him and the things that he has been able to acheive, but that you need to be who you are while you are busy developing who you can be.

try to avoid divorce, but don't kill yourself to remain married. if he is worth his salt he will man up and accept you, and will make room in his life for your needs. remember that this is a difficult time for him, as well. he has given up his independence to be with you, and might be jealous or feel left out when you are talking to friends in a language he can't understand (try talking to them in english when he is around and see if it makes thigns different).

if your friends do come to your house be sure to remind them to use english when your husband is around, and to express some interest in him, engaging him in conversation. he is prolly used to being alone, and may feel like his home is "invaded" if there is nothing in the interaction for him. he needs time to get used to the change, too.

i have been with a chinese for 5 years, and remember that it was a leap of faith to listen to her talk in a local dialect i could'nt understand. it was a bizarre thing to accept so many "strangers" with strange faces into my life, even though i had lived there for some time. prior to meeting my wife, i had always been able to close the door and shut out china. once she moved in with me i had to accept it entirely.

give your husband time to adjust, but don't die doing it. if you kill yourself to be with him, it will poison the relationship.

thanks so much for that i will try your advice

hello guys

i really need advice regarding with the attitude of my husband and my condition..we got married and things is working out good and now we are 6 months married my 2yrs green card is coming.. and his attitude is showing now. when my friend invite me to come over there house he dont want me to go considering i already have a license and i know the directions where to go and he said now so i didnt insists it and my friend called back and they will just go to my house to bring me food and he dont want them to come, i feel like his controlling me. and whne my friends call me he gets mad if you are talking our language and not english.i dont understand him. and he always said F*** words. the only happiness i have is the phone coz the tv has one channel only and i cant use internet always coz i scared we might over the limit. and he gets mad with it i live in the country.. and no neighbors at all what should i do plzz. help some times i feeel like getting out of the marriage.. and is that possible if ever i will get 2 yrs green card?(just in case) and by the way age gap is 39yrs

thanks need advice plz help

i need advice plzzzzzzzzzz. help me

hello guys

i really need advice regarding with the attitude of my husband and my condition..we got married and things is working out good and now we are 6 months married my 2yrs green card is coming.. and his attitude is showing now. when my friend invite me to come over there house he dont want me to go considering i already have a license and i know the directions where to go and he said now so i didnt insists it and my friend called back and they will just go to my house to bring me food and he dont want them to come, i feel like his controlling me. and whne my friends call me he gets mad if you are talking our language and not english.i dont understand him. and he always said F*** words. the only happiness i have is the phone coz the tv has one channel only and i cant use internet always coz i scared we might over the limit. and he gets mad with it i live in the country.. and no neighbors at all what should i do plzz. help some times i feeel like getting out of the marriage.. and is that possible if ever i will get 2 yrs green card?(just in case) and by the way age gap is 39yrs

thanks need advice plz help

plz help

AFAIK, H2B is not an eligible category for a direct "adjustment of status" to permanent resident.... H2B is a temporary or "seasonal" work visa....

so we cant do anything about it? what you think we can do?

If he/she qualifies for an Immediate Relative visa, then that is probably the path...

what you mean about Immediate Relative visa?

The US citizen family member must file a petition on behalf of the intended immigrant with the USCIS.

my cousins sister is a citizen can she petition her brother?

AFAIK, H2B is not an eligible category for a direct "adjustment of status" to permanent resident.... H2B is a temporary or "seasonal" work visa....

so we cant do anything about it? what you think we can do?

If he/she qualifies for an Immediate Relative visa, then that is probably the path...

what you mean about Immediate Relative visa?

AFAIK, H2B is not an eligible category for a direct "adjustment of status" to permanent resident.... H2B is a temporary or "seasonal" work visa....

so we cant do anything about it? what you think we can do?

hello guys

i have a question about H-2B visa can they file for a permanent residence in the USa?

and what are the possibilities.my cousin is a H-2B and his been here 2 years already.

what can we do for him to stay? coz his contract has ended!! what can we do for him?

is it possible that he can look for a job in any state for him to stay! but dont make him illegal!!

thanks hope to hear replies

Help help help

So you pulled out of the pararell parking while there's on coming car passing you? That's what I understand from your post.

Eventhough you know and 'saw' the car coming while you are getting out of your parking space, you should wait until it is clear before you pull out. becasue the other car might not see you coming out and hit you instead.

But if you didnt see the car coming while pulling out but there is - did you look at your side window before you pull out? that migth be the reason why the officer flunk you.

i was parking in the center of two cars when i got to the office where i take the test.. and then when we are ready to leave and start the test i was pulling out of the place were i had my parking and there was a car in front of me parking and i try to get out of that parking to start the test.. and when i try to get out she tough i will hit the car in front of me taht why she flunk me but what i have read in the book they can flunk me right away if i hit car and if im involve with accident when i was taking the test.. i didnt even get a change to get out ofthat parkign spot and drive..

so0o0o0o0o0o0 SAD

Congrats to all those who got approvals and good luck to those who already have their interview schedules hope to have more approvals and interview soon!!!

we have same time line i got my bio NOV 3 and until now i still didn't get any letter from them its really sad i really need it badly

i really need to know how to drive coz my husbands working and i need to get work also to help him so i need to know how to drive i know i know how i will be taking the test again tomorrow i hope i get my luck coz i can talk the test 3 times only and if not i need to go to driving school and get letter from them..if i didn't pass i this test the 3rd time..

Which state insists on the ability to parallel park? Good for that state by the way, having control over the vehicle is important but they do not test anything that 'difficult' in CA.

i took my drivers test in Mo. i really didn't even get a change to drive in the road with the officer when we went to the place we will got o take the test we saw a parallel park and we took it to try also if im ready.. and i really did good and we decided to got there and tell them aim gonna take the road test and when we get o the vehicle that's what happen. she thought that im gonna hit it when im trying to get out or that parking spot to start the test.. and i think she really try to empress that other officer who is evaluating her also... and i think she really didn't know what shes doing she didn't even ask me where my proof of insurance..

OF course you are disappointed but relax and realize a lot of people don't pass the first try. sometimes it takes a second or third.

I took a Motorcycle drivers test (to get that stamp on my license) years ago and due to some confusion on what the tester wanted me to do at the end of the course, I ended up dropping my motorcycle on the ground.

Talk about red faced.

Don't worry to much just give it another try when you have worked out, any areas you need to.

GOOD LUCK!

hehehehehhehe thanks alot i agree i hope you will be my angle and i hope i will pass the second time tomorrow maybe

hello guys

i just arrive home from a road test to get my driving test and the examiner ask me if the other officer can ride at the back coz they are observing her and i park to parking lot with is a parallel park and then when i try to got out of that spot she said stop coz im about to hit the other car in front of me even if im not and she said she wont continue my test .. and i think she just flunk me coz she want to impress that person whos observing her.. isn't that BULL.. and now i need to take my driving test the second time..and i hope i wont get to have that situation again..

isn't that reasonable flunking me even i didn't hit any thing and she just believe i will hit it? im really disappointing about it today

you're still ok.

hello everyone!!!

i sent my AOS September 25 i got my Biomestric NOV 3 and until now i haven't hear from them.

most of the time line that i saw they already got there working permit yet.

when do you think it will be here? i haven't got any mails from them i am just worried about it..

HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE IF THERE SAME CASE LIKE MINE

thanks for every one you replied i really hope i will get it soon..

i just wondered coz most people got it early

hello everyone!!!

i sent my AOS September 25 i got my Biomestric NOV 3 and until now i haven't hear from them.

most of the time line that i saw they already got there working permit yet.

when do you think it will be here? i haven't got any mails from them i am just worried about it..

HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE IF THERE SAME CASE LIKE MINE

hello everyone,

Am a September filler and i will go to my biomeistric today Nov 3..

just want to know hows the September fillers doing? coz im on my biomistric stage now..

just want to know whats next with Biomistric ?and what stage are the other september fillers?

hope all of us will have a fast processing..gud luck to all...

or can I use my chilean driver's license?

I really need to drive and I don't know what to do this whole thing is a little confusing

hello

yes you can get drivers license if you have your SSN and you have that number yes you can..when you take the test and you pass it just bring your marriage license with you and your SSN with you and they will automatically put your married name on it.. coz me when i got her just this july and i got my SSN card before i got married and my name is not my husbands name. and then i got married this august and then few weeks later i took my drivers test.and i got my ssn i and marriage license when i took the test and then i just presented it to them and they put my husbands name in my drivers so you can take the drivers test even if you have filled or not file your AOS..

got take you drivers test..gob bless

hello

what i know about it was your illegal coz you came in the us as a tourist visa..and if uscis know about that you got married they will require you to go back home and file for a K3 which is a spouse visa..and if you wont follow them you might get a 10 years ban and you cant get in the us for 10 year..you need to do it in a legal way..

thanks for the reply hehehhe i hope mine will be sooner..thast 90 days ..thank you very much for your reply.

im excited to get my EAD pretty soon..

Hello,

I am wondering whats next, i am quit4e unsure of what is going to happen after NOA2.

Does the NVC send paperwork to be completed to my wife in Colombia or to me?

I have heard about some tax forms that I will need to complete, anyone know which forms they are and where I get them?

What is packet 3 and what does it consist of?

Thank you and have a great day.

hello there if you get your N02 and your NVC letter with the case number you dont need to wait for packet 3 coz it take long time to get to your fiancee it takes 1 or 2 month so just let her take the medical and bring the no2 and the NVC letter