fourjudge

It looks like to one of my buddy situation.

She is still obsessed with your husband and try to control his life through kids.

She is happy when you husband is miserable, she is mad when your husband is happy...

Hang in there... Every state has different child support formula.

Do a search on internet for your state... if your husband is not making above a dollar amount (normally about $200,000.00), the state has to follow a formula.

.........There is no IF and BUT there........

If someone is telling you any other way, the state BAR association can be good help.

But if your husband is making more than the state dollar limit... Mediation and good attorney can help.

For example...

Some state will allow a child support =(set dollar amount + medical insurance + child care for smaller kids before school) = 1000+200+200 = 1400

Some state will allow a child support =(set dollar amount - medical insurance - child care for smaller kids before school) = 1000-200-200 = 600

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Hi thank you.. the way it is now is that the child support covers for the food, clothing and shelter.the rest which is medical insurance, child care, is paid by percentage we pay 75%... we also pay 100% of their phone bill... mediation wont work.. we tried it.. so perhaps were opt to lawyer.. thanks again so much

But if they share the kids equally, I don't understand why the support agreement hasn't been amended? If the previous agreement was $1200 a month with her having sole custody, the fact that the kids are at his house 1/2 the time now should change the maintenance agreement. If the new custody arrangement is unofficial, perhaps it's time to go back to court to have the whole arrangement modified to reflect the new changes. Although I would say, before that happens, it's probably best to start documenting when you have the kids to show a prior unofficial arrangement.

Years ago, with my ex who had two kids from a prior marriage, it was very frustrating, so I can sympathize! Everyone was more or less amicable, with the occasional flare up from the ex wife. Although we got to a point where there was mutual respect for each other, myself included. She didn't like me at first, but was adult enough to see that I was a good influence on her kids and we wound up with a nice pseudo-friendship. I digress.

My ex had agreed to give MORE than what the req's were...'after all they're my kids'...which I thought was very honorable. Much like scandal's post here. The maintenance agreement was VERY generous to her, to the point of it being nearly impossible for him to support himself for the first two years after the divorce. He took all their debt, and signed over the house, car, etc to her. Everything evened out and all was fine for a while. However, as they got older, we noticed that the kids were always very sloppy looking. They'd come over with no extra clothes, old tatty clothes on their backs, worn out shoes, holy socks, etc. We'd buy them new clothes every week, and they'd want to wear them home, and then we'd never see them again. The next week, it'd be the same thing. And the week after that, and the one after that... It got to the point that he told her that if we had to continue to get them new stuff every single weekend, that he would start subtracting that amt from the maintenance she got.

Things calmed down after that.

Anyways, good luck. I think mediation is your best bet. If she won't cooperate, then it's time to go back to court. But again, make sure you both start documenting all this...when they come over, when the ex wife acts up, etc. It may or may not help, but on the off chance it does, I say it's worth the effort.

Good luck!

Thank you so much for what you said.yeah i am on your situation before, and yeah she got the car, the things in the house, but half the price of the house.. etc. and yes the kids are kinda sloopy.. it makes me mad too specialy when i put away there things because i can see what they have... starting yesterday we also documented what we got for one of the kids from yesterday. and also we will document how many times we have them. and yes and the new agreement is not official. what was official which was on the divorce which is we have them every other weekend and everytuesday..( which actually what my husband wants on how much he can see the kids) but turn out to be more than that.. we also documented ugly acting to us. anyway what you said is really a big help.anyway there divorce wasnt settle at court it was settle by a mediator... and we went to a mediator and meet them their and didnot really work well. thank you

hi Old dominion I also forgot to tell you that she and her boyfriend is staying like a couple. that is why she even stop working because her boyfriend support her to school.so shes not living with that amount only.

I too have an ex wife and 2 daughters. She keeps things a lot more civil than she was when I was living with them.

No insults any more, but she has succeeded in freezing me out of the kids lives. She politely contacts me when

she needs something, but other than that there is an information freeze out.

I was voluntarily paying her more than was written in the divorce agreement, but beginning in 2010 I told her

she would be getting only what was in the agreement because I re-married and have lots more expenses.

she silently agreed to that and has been cashing my reduced payments without complaint.

I don't think she will complain about that, because whenever I ask about the kids medical visits

neither she nor they tell me ANY information about them. All I get is the provider name and amount

of benefit paid by my insurance carrier.

If he is paying her more than in the divorce agreement, I suggest he roll it back like I did.

He has another dependent (you) and it would be a fair thing to do.

When I was going through the divorce I also wanted to do mediation, but both my and her lawyer

put an end to that. It's funny how lawyers see their self-interest threatened and tie that in with

the interest of their clients, which would seem to be a paradox. Mediation requires that both parties

want to settle things amicably and neither one is stonewalling. I don't think your situation qualifies,

unless the other party is willing to come around as it's a voluntary process.

Thong4me thank you so much for the reply. we have talk about what you have said, but the way new york law is deffirent( he said ). but yeah i thing it would be a fair thing to do to go to court to have peace in mind too... we have talk to our lawyer before of having the custody of the kids( i was wrong of saying sole custody..i should have said that she is the primary custodian because they have joint custody). anyway the lawyer said that it is hard. even though after all the fact that we said in which even her mother would always ask us to get the kids our from her, her X boyfriend, other people. because she is not stable. shes hurting the kids emmotional that is why we have to get them sometimes at her house. i have just never known any evel sprited person like her. anyway the lawyer said it is so hard unless we have a physical evedince.ohh well.. we will talk again to the lawyer about reviewing of the child support if that would be possible. Thank you very much. i appreciated your advice.

Posted 27 March 2010 - 02:31 PM

The ex-wife who is the subject of this thread is simply carrying a lot of anger at her ex-husband and will continue to do everything she can to make life miserable for him. If she is nasty to you, it's because she knows it will make him squirm.

If she is after more money, it's for his punishment. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," the saying goes. On the other hand, if she and the children are living on only $1,200 a month, that's not much.

We talk a lot about forgiveness as a way of getting past our anger; some former spouses carry that anger to their graves, and others instead get on with their lives.

If your husband would turn all of this support business over to an attorney, and tell his ex-wife to contact the lawyer directly without involving your husband, that would help make life easier for you both. She can beg all she wants from then on, but his only answer needs to be "contact my lawyer; I will follow his advice."

In the OP's case, it's good that she is trying to be civil with the ex. Just don't expect the ex to be the same, ever.

This post has been edited by Old Dominion: 27 March 2010 - 02:32 PM

Thank you for the reply. i would not say it is not much it is because of how the kids living.. in short she does not spend much for the kids. maybe once in a bluemoon.. i cant even say when. perhaps xmas? and yeah she spent food for them for couple of times a week since we have them half the time now and before most of the time. she doesnt spend phone bill for the kids because we do. also we pay 75% of the kids other expenses(medical which is mostly covered by our insurance, activities in shcool and outside school lessons) the kids doesnot spend much on food. maybe when do go out( which they do a lot ) the cloth that there wearing most is what we got for them. i just wish too that she would buy them clothing specialy the boy... i may sound wining..yes i am because again like i said it is so unfair for our side. it wouldnt be if only she put the money to the kids. but the way we see it.. not.... anyway thanks agai for the reply.. i appreciate it.

my husband has an ex-wife and they have kids. he is giving her a child support of $1,220. but now that support will go up because my husband earn more. his ex wife is so mean.. he would send text that is so horrible specialy before..even wishing that he would die, me will go to hemorrage and the baby will die. she is mad at him since he got involved with me. she tried to get more money by means of not buying the kids what they need and also for school food. all of those should be covered by the child support that we give to her. In my first couple of months here i obeserved that we have the kids often than what is agreed on the divorce paper. also there are many times that we have them mostly than with her. Now the schedule has completely change.. we have the kids equally. her reason for that is she want the kids to have more time with their father.( but actually i think because she cant handle them that is why we have to get the kids to her house when she cant handle them, thats why we have the kids more than what it is agreed)she decided before that we could be a sole custody and we wont give them child support, but then she change it she said they need the money. they are strugling. since the schedule has change we tried to ask them if we could meninmize the child support but she didnot agreed.( she said she could maybe agree to it, but now No since he has me). but her boyfriend agreed a little bit of it based on whats logical. but then they turn arround and said they could not because they have to pay the apartment that they rented from us,and the reason why there even there is because of the kids.. but funny that now they turn arround and buy a new house.(the apartment that my husband is renting to them is not even earning because there renting it for less,my husband bought the apartment for the kids well being). but its ok for my husband it is because its for the kids. anyway, one day she texted and said shes welling to meet to a mediator so we thought that she finaly agreed. but when we where there we were surprised it is because what she actually want is to recalculate my husband income so she could have increase in child support and she want him to pay 100% on other expenses on the top of child support that the kids would need (instead of 75%). because she has no income right now becuase she stop to work and go to school instead. he has a boyfriend living with her now that is supporting her right now.

I didnot do anything to her except good things. i takecare of the kids whenever their her at our house. and when shes her at our house to get the kids.. i dont say any bad thing infact i am being nice to her but shes so distant. sometimes she would say words to the kids that is against us and the youngest would be mean at me. i wish that she would be sometimes thankful that my husband treated her child from previous as his own child. ( they have 3 kids, but the first is not his biological child) my husband is still supporting her whenever she need him with regards to the kids. on all her bad words that she said against him,me and our baby.. my husband choose to just let it go because of the kids even after all my tears( but i understand). my husband is teptoing with it comes to her because of the kids. Now i am wondering if IS SHE JEALOUS? DOES SHE STILL LOVE HIM...? is their a way we could lower the child support because it is so unfair. we have the kids half the time.. or most of the time before.. and we also buy them stuff in which she is not doing now for the kids. were so in debt...and i hate that where teptoing at her. Please help.. thank you so much..i wish there is a law that also supported the part of the man against there ex( that is like this).[/size][/size]

I have a few questions: Is St Lukes supposed to keep my fiancee's passport after her exam and forward to Manila embassy? Can she take the CFO seminar without her passport (per previous question) while waiting for visa? How long is it taking now to receive visa from time of actual interview/approval?

Thanks again everyone!!

My Fiance and I have our interview in Manila set up for her K1 Visa. Can anyone tell me the typical number of days between interview (assuming approval) and actually receiving her visa by Air 21 ? Will the embassy still let you wait and pick it up at the embassy, if you have special circumstances? If so, how long does that take? Thanks everyone!

My fiance and I finally will have our interview in July and she has a pet rabbit...does anyone know the requirements of bringing a rabbit to USA from Philippines?

Yes...I am requesting expedited service....I hope it comes through soon!!

Has anyone else experienced this? It has been 4-1/2 weeks since my NAO2 and the case was still not at NVC. I called USCIS and NVC every day to no avail, so I requested my local Congessman's office look into this and they found out my approved case was accidentally sent to the NRC (Natonal Records Center) rather than NVC. The case has just been sitting there. They have now requested the case file back from NRC and it has to go back to VSC to be reviewed by a supervisor again and then hopefully to NVC this time. They assured me they will do this as quickly as they can....2 weeks up to 60 days...ughhh...we will see.

I am at 4 weeks now since NOA2....not receiced yet at NVC....I call 2 times a day and talk to live person...This is so frustrating...NAO2 took 6-1/2 months...the waiting is killing me!! I am sure there are others in the same boat as I am...God bless us all,,,

Thank you....is anyone else experiencing long delays with their case just gettign received by NVC?

We have an NOA2 approval date of 4/6/09 from VSC for K-1 of and the case has still not even been received at NVC...and I call each day and talk to a live person. Is NVC running behind?

Is NVC running behind?? OUr case is 28 days now and still not received at NVC, when I call there and talk to a live person. Anyone else waiting for a month or more, just to get received? Thanks!

I am getting the run-around from both NVC and USCIS on this....I have gotten different answers from both departments on whether this can really happen or not: my I129F for K1 was approved on 4/6/09 and the approval letter I got said nothing about going to NVC (as I have seen on others)...it actually stated that it was being sent to the consulate...do they really do that sometimes? It has been 3 weks and 1 day now since NAO2 and NVC still does not show it received when I call and talk to them. I realize it can take longer than that...but now I am concerned it really may have been sent directly to the consulate in Manila. How do I get the MNL # now to schedule the interview? I thought NVC assigned that? Help anyone..please...Thank you!

OUr NAO2 took 6 months 2 weeks...it will come...I know it is hard...good luck...

Thanks for the advice everyone...I am now calling each day to NVC and actually talking to a person each time...it is day 17 now and they still dont even show received....should I be getting concerned? Another thing that was strange was that my NOA2 approval letter said it was being sent to the consulate...I have seen copied of others NAO2 and they say it is going to NVC first...have others seen that too?

Can some folks with first had experienece please tell me how long it it takes for NVC to show received in their system, from the actual approval date on the NOA2 letter? I see the processing timeline says the avaerage is about 9 days, but when I look at many of the individual timelines, it always seems shorter..closer to 5 days. Mine is at 11 days and when I call the automated # at NVC (it is 603-334-0700 for those of you that may need that) , it still says there is no record of my case.

Thanks averyone for putting up with my obssesiveness with this process...it has been quite a road!

We recived our NAO2 on 4/6 after 192 days...so happy!! Still waiting for hard copy. I m curious...does USCIS update online things like when NVC receives and when NVC sends out, when Embassy receives, when packet 3 is sent out, etc?

Thanks everyone!!

Today is 160 days for us since NOA1 and have heard nothing since...not even a touch. When I look at Igor's list, I see there are many that are older than mine, but I dont know if they are just not updated or not. The average NAO1 to NAO2 is 137 days as of today according to VJ. Trying to get a feel if I should be getting concerned or not yet.

BTW...Congrats to all that have NAO2...I see many are gtting through VSC in 3-4 months!!

If the first K-1 expired long before your new bf petitioned, there is no problem. You may be asked about it at the interview, but otherwise it is not a big issue that you were engaged before.

Thank you so much...

Hi.. i had a k1 visa before with a different guy but i never used it and now it is expired. i am wondering if the if the embassy will call my previous petitioner to inquire what happened and i am afraid he is gonna give me some negative feedback which will cause difficulties to my second k1 which is on process now( which will be 5 months now).. hmm i am wondering too if what will be the questions of the consul now that i have previous k1... thanks..

I am probably over-reacting, but time seems to drag during this waiting process...I keep seeing couples getting their NOA2 in just 2-3 months at the VSC (god bless them), and I am coming up on 5 months and have heard nothing since the NOA1 on 9/23/08. Should I be concerned? Do they really process the applications in the order they were received?

My fiance' had a K-1 previously with someone eles, but she never used it and it has already expired. Can this previous K-1 cause delays in getting the NOA2 at the Service centers?

it has been reported as such in a few instances... how long ago?

It expired August 2008...can that cause delays?