BinhJerome

those foreigners think they understand Vietnamese women more than Vietnamese people

THOSE foreigners?????? I will let you in on a little secret, listen and read closely. THOSE foreigners we DO know OUR wives, and maybe JUST MAYBE we treat our loved ones a bit better than some of THOSE VIET KIEU that keep trying to say they know our women better than we do. Instead of trying to say pay for the honey, and that this person thinks he knows Vietnamese women more than Vietnamese people do, maybe both should start to think and realize that your wives/fiancee's/servants/scammers/what ever you consider them are infact people. People like to be loved, even the scammers, they need love as well. The sad thing is that with all the hate it is hard to see through. Put the shoe on the other foot if you were in a different country all alone and had a husband that told you to do this or do that, you must, and you better, you might get offensive and hateful. So when you do valentines day this year, think about them, give them a massage, some flowers, something from YOUR heart, because this is all someone really wants is something from the heart. It could be some ugly paper machete thing, with third grader writing on it, but if it came from the heart they will love it, that is unless you have hardened their hearts with all of your anger and hatred. Jerome

She can speak the northern and southern dialects, but as you say, she speaks with a central accent. I speak very little of the language, but I've heard her switch gears and change to a different dialect when it's obvious someone she's talking to is having a hard time understanding her.

The other teacher who offered her the job is her second cousin, I think. She's not exactly sure where the family tree connects, but she knows they're related and thinks they're cousins. He and his wife live only a few miles away from us. Obviously, they're originally from Hue. Their friends, who will be bringing their kids over for tutoring, are also from Hue, but not related. I think they'll probably want the kids to learn the central dialect since that's where they'll be going when they visit Vietnam, and what they'll be speaking with other family members in the US.

Jim, there are online schools like the one I am going to for an accredited teaching degree, it isnt that expensive, and she can get it done in 4 years or less also check this link out http://www.riosalado.edu/programs/education/postbacc/Pages/In-PersonRequirements.aspx they offer a teaching certificate through Arizona, and they might accept her previous degree where she would only have to do a teaching practium and do their online part. Jerome

Btw Jerome, ask Binh this and let us know her response "Does the saying "Buc leu tranh va 2 trai tim vang" (a straw hut and 2 golden hearts) work in your book?"

I'll bring you the truth. The only reason she's still with you, even at the moment you "think" living there is better than in America, is because she KNOWS her children (with you) are automatically USC by law.....you can guess the rest of this story.

I just love how you know SOOOOOOOOOO much about all of our loved ones. I think the only thing you know is your life experiences. Some of us are not idiots like you and we actually know what real love is. Who ever said she or I could even have children, you just assume so much it is funny. If you know SOOOOOO much, then you would also know that yes our children would become a USC IF I file the paperwork, but hmmmmmm guess what just because they are a USC this does NOT mean that my wife would become a USC. I know a few people that have children and their mothers were STILL DENIED, and OHHHH guess what my wife also knows these same people. SOOOO once again, look at the previous website and learn how to become a REAL MAN instead of what you are, also go to lawschool, immigration law might help so that when you try to say some of the things you say you will know they are pure BS just like most of us here on VJ know they are.

The only way that you have to pay for honey is if you are not a real man, the only way you will have a wife/fiancee leave you once they find out they arent going to America is if you are an idiot. As for me, I am a real man, and far far from an idiot, so when you try to tell ME what MY wife WILL do, remember that I am not an idiot and I am a REAL MAN so if this would happen to you it WONT happen to me.

For valentines day, the recordable song cards are great, I did them for all the occasions, other things you can do is send something like a little card with sweet nothings written on it, put it in the pocket of a shirt or have it tied around a button and then when she opens it if she does it on webcam then you can watch as she finds it, or even put something like look at the webcam and then hold something up or show her a bigger gift and then mail it. All sorts of things you can do to make it fun and exciting. I had a friend that had his fiancee's mom cook a specific dish and then he mad the exact same one down to the last detail, and they ate together, it was kinda like they were together yet far away. If you can think of something do it, because they are from the heart, and this is what really matters, unless of course you are like Dau Que, and if that is the case, find another woman or send your paycheck.

Jerome

Wire her your entire paycheck for that V week. That'll make her extremely happy.

They say "No money, no honey" righty, right?

Dau Que, some of us are real men and to get the honey we do not need to send them all of our money. There are classes out there that can help you out with this, and if you actually take them, maybe you will stop having to pay for YOUR honey like most of us already do not need to do. Also after taking some of those classes maybe you can come back on Visa Journey with a better view of Vietnameese women. Check out this link Dau

http://artofmanliness.com/2008/03/20/so-you-want-to-become-a-man/

To the OP, the last two years I sent a card, and then made sure I had plenty of webcam time so that we could talk, the first year we didnt have much time on the webcam, so I made sure I called and talked to her. Most women will tell you dont send me anything, some might not but honestly what matters is that you make the attempt to be closer with her on that day anyway you can.

Jerome

Seperate pages for each thing requested. Even if there is room, always do seperate, and make sure each is labled as what it is. Make it clear and understandable. As far as cousins living in the U.S. list everyone she knows that she can get in touch with. Even if this means calling around, and then everyone that will send info/proof of where they live I.E. phone bill/water bill or even a copy of a drivers liscense, submit all of those as her relatives, if she cannot contact one of them or they do not send what is needed then leave them out, as long as this is not everyperson on her list. The reason for this is that if you list one and dont have proof, it looks fishy, but if you dont submit any relatives this also looks fishy. It isnt too hard to understand, give them what they want. Good luck Jerome and Binh

The day Jerome posted this thread, I saw myself SayHaorBust was ACTIVE browsing threads in here. How come he/she didn't bother to post the "good" news or even say thanks to the folks who congratulated them?

Oh that's right, like most ppl, once getting the Visa, who cares.

It doesnt matter who comes back to VJ after getting advice or not. I could really care less if people act like a sponge or not. It is a person's choice if they want to hang around after an approval or denial. And with posts like yours and many others, people are just plain scared to even post, let alone come back once they are done. After all this is a public forum and if we choose to help people that is our right, just like it is theirs to come and stay or come get what they need then leave. I know some people that are on this forum that have never filed for a visa for a foreign person, yet they have been around and offer advice. i also know people that had not even filed and were giving advice to anyone who would listen. It is what it is, a public forum, and if people choose to post it is their right, and for those that come and leave that is also their right

Rich, if she is coming by on the 25th, at 5 then I will make sure I go into work later that night, or if possible I will go in early and get my hours in. I am on TET holiday for 3 weeks starting on the 25th. Jerome

I wanted to throw my two cents into this conversation. I do not like it when any family member "expects" anything, but guess what they are family, and if I can help them, I will gladly help them. My wifes family has never asked for money, granted I am living here in Vietnam, but that is the funny part. I have more money to spend here working as a teacher than I did in America, and this is with supporting my wife here. When MY mother needed money for a lawyer to get a divorce, I asked my wife and she said she is family, and had no problems at all sending her 2k for the lawyer. So it is a two way street, those people that refuse to help family when they can help, to me are well, that is another topic, and subject all together. The point is that Vietnamese culture is set to help family, and family is family, here or there. My mother had a stroke, and my wifes mother keeps trying to get my mom to move here so she can help take care of her. This is not some ploy to get money from my mom, it is just the way my wifes family is. If someone gets hurt and is in the hospital, it is not "Who's turn is it to go sit with the hurt person?" it is " I will go there now, and then the next person says I will go there at 5:00" and so on. So it is fair to say that if her mother needed money that we would help, and I guarentee that if we needed help they would help us if they could as well.

Regardless of a 10 year GC or not, family is family, and another major point is simple. If everyone on the planet would help family and friends when they could the entire world would be a better place. Regardless of if you do or if you dont send money, just remember one thing, where will you be when you need something, and you were always the person that refused to help others when you could???? Jerome

Congrats to Rich and Sayha. Sayha went in and got the pink!! Way to go!!! :dance:

A new interview means that NEW INTERVIEW. If they decide to take it as a new interview, or if a different CO interviews her this time they WILL want to see ALL the same things. I dont care if it was a third, or fourth interview, bring everything in again, and let them have it all over again. Think of it like this.....

This is your life, would you play russian roulette with it??? You have waited over a year, and you would rather leave things at home and risk waiting another 30 days, or a year to get the Vsa????

Do you see my point here? To me this is a no brainer question, and I would always say to bring all your things back to the second interview. She might just haul them in there and there might be a pink waiting, who knows, but I would rather haul those things around one more time than have to go home, bring them back, and wait until THEY feel they have time to look at them.

Jerome

On my time line and 10 years list of residency, I was told by my Lawyer to include my x wifes address and telephone number. I have been divorced over 7 years and haven't spoke or really knew her where abouts, so i did a white book search on the internet and found her address. Some how I must of put it down wrong because the lawyer caught it. Heres the problem,the original document was notarized and is in his posession. I emailed him the correct address. My fiances interview is Jan 18th. He made it sound that he can fix but i don't know how when I wont be able to give another notarized letter before the interview.

My question is how is important is that address? I answered to the best of my knowlege the information about residency, I'm not even sure if the x wife's address is current. Do you think this could be a big Red flag or blue slip comming my way?

How much English do you think her interview could be in? She's khmay Krom so her Vietnamese is her second language and her pronunciation of English is not that well. Why no khmay translater's in HCM?

Rich, If they use white out to "fix" the problem, it will throw up red flags, if Nam fixes one but not the other it will look different possibly causing red flags. If it was me I would try to get another one notorized and sent ASAP, that OR leave the mistake and not even mention it, and if asked then tell them that she must have moved and that was the last known address you had from her which is not a lie since you did look in the phone book and that is what you came up with.

The reason for no Khmay Krom translators is because this is Vietnam, and people here are expected to speak Vietnamese. There might be Khmay translators in HCMC, but the embassy would not hire them in hopes of someone needing them at the interview, however if hundreds of Khmay Krom started going for interviews at HCMC they MIGHT and I stress might hire one, but look at the state of the American econoomy. It would be like having a Spanish translator on hand in HCMC incase a Mexican came to Vietnam then tried to immigrate from here. It might happen, just not on a regular enough basis to justify the costs.

Jerome

BTW how is Sayha doing, she has never came back by to say hello or anything, hopefully her interview prep is going well and Nam has stopped being so rude with her

If you want to know my opinion it is simple. Do you love your wife? I already know your answer. So this is my advice, ignore it, she is used to it. If you keep confronting him and talking to her about it the situation will keep getting worse, once she is in USA then you are done with it. Also as others have mentioned, it is not good to argue. There might be a reason, maybe he is affraid once she is gone then he will have no one. Many reasons people act strange, and they are always usually because they themselves are scared about something. Seriously, you are in america, and she is here, there is nothing you can really do, but as another post said, when you send money, send it to her father, or send him a little here and there. It is customary for family in USA to send money back and help the family. In any situation, the most important thing is your love for your wife, dont add to her stress by arguing with her father. I am not siding with him, but seriously she IS living under his roof, and with the culture here, if she does something that he feels is a disgrace, it DOES affect him. Good luck, and try to not add to any stress.

Jerome and Binh

It is your packet, you can put anything you want in it. This does not mean they will look at it, my friend has tole me numerous times they are not obligated to look at anything they do not deem necessary, or anything they have not requested. I thought that was bull because if we feel it is important then they should have to look at it, but they dont (they are god...er the devil I mean )

ON a similar subject, when at the interview and when they request additional evidence... I asked him why is it that when they ask for some information such as in my case and many others why did they refuse to look at it when the benificiary had it with them. He stated because they gave a notice requesting it, and I said again that she had it at the interview already, and his reply was if they do not have EVERYTHING they ask for then they do not have to accept any of it because it is not all there. They are over worked, and to spend extra time looking at some things but not everything they wanted has been deemed a waste of time since all the required evidence is not there in theory they would still not be able to make a decision and they are to move to the next application once they feel no decision can be made at that time.

Basically we can do what we want when it comes to what evidences we submit, but they are still the ones making the decision, and if we submit something that they feel is not important they are not obligated to look at it, and they will have the final say on what to or not to look at.

Jerome

What's the punch line? Don't marry a Viet Kieu? America is a bad place?

Also, the 'horror' part of your horror story is lacking (though I do find the thought of instant noodles to be a little terrifying). Besides the instant noodles and keeping her 'practically' locked up, what did he do or force her to do? Did he beat her senseless everyday? Subject her to sexual abuse? Make her watch daytime TV? What? When she escaped, why didn't she go to the cops? How, exactly, did she 'make her way' back to HCM? It's not like you have to sneak out of the United States.

I'm sorry to be so cynical, but there were a rash of similar stories making their way around Cuba in the late 60's and early 70's in an effort to stop the flow of people trying to escape. I've also heard there were similar stories making the rounds in the Soviet Union and China, and stories like this are broadcast on state TV in North Korea. This seems to be a common part of the communist propaganda machine.

Jim the sad thing is that there are thousands of such cases like this that REALLY do happen. This is why they do a criminal background check now on all petitioners, making sure to look for any types of spousal abuse, battery, or sexual crimes.

This is truly such a wide spread thing that CSI even made a episode about it. Some men in America want the pretty little trophy wife, and they have put locks on the fridge, put double keyed locks on the doors leading outside, and set the alarm when they leave. They also limit the contact with the outside world their wife has. They want to make sure she stays skinny, and never leaves.

I also agree that there is information lacking, if she was locked up and escaped, how did she get the money for a plane ticket??? But regardless of the details that are missing people need to judge for themselves what is real and what is not. You need to know who you are involved with, and realize that some people are not who they seem. There are many messed up people in the world willing to take advantage of a woman, or a man at any turn. Be safe and know your partner, and always have an out!

Jerome

just saw this story on yahoo news. if you go, take pics for us!

When I get there I will be sure to take many photos, you can count on that! :thumbs:

Check out this link from Yahoo. http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20110103/ts_yblog_thelookout/explorers-discover-spectacular-caves-in-vietnam Back in the states I used to love to go caving, and now they say that in Vietnam they have some of the largest unexplored caves in the world. Things like this to me are just cool, so next time you are here in central Vietnam, instead of just going to the war memorials or the other regular tourist attractions, you might check out this cave, as I am sure it wont be long before it is set up for tourism.

Jerome

Jim,

How much did you pay for Mr. Nam's service?

I would ask Sayhaorbust about Mr. Nam. He is currently helping his fiancee with the interview prep, and when she was here he had her all stressed out and was in my opinion quite rude with her. But as I said Rich can tell you his opinion on the matter so that you can get multiple view points on Mr. Nam.

Jerome

A dowry in most cultures is traditionally paid by the BRIDE to the GROOM'S family. There is no corollary to the gifts that are given to the bride's family in a traditional Vietnamese engagement ceremony, but many web sites do describe them as a dowry because there simply is no other way to describe them in English, but they definitely do not serve the same purpose as a dowry.

Again, with all due deference to your wife, her family, and the old lady who lives across the street, a traditional Vietnamese engagement ceremony does include the offering of gifts to the bride's family. Perhaps the confusion here comes from a misunderstanding of the question asked. Vietnamese consider the bride and groom to be married, for all intents and purposes, after the engagement ceremony. The only substantial difference is that they don't actually move in together yet. There is also little visible difference between an engagement ceremony and a wedding ceremony. Both ceremonies involve a procession and the offering of gifts. They don't repeat the procession and the offering of gifts if the two ceremonies are performed on the same day.

Once again, I can provide as many online references as you like about this. I also tend to believe the Su Thuc - the Buddhist equivalent of a bishop - to be knowledgeable enough to know the difference between an engagement and a wedding, and he was clear that the ceremony we would be involved in was not a marriage. I've also got a stack of the invitations left over, and each one clearly says "Nhân dịp Lễ Đính Hôn", or "The occasion of the Engagement".

Either way it doesnt really matter. I can show you I am sure ####### for tat the same number of websites showing that the gifts are considered part of the wedding ceremony, and what it boils down to is what website do you believe, but what does it mean when you are delivering these gifts??? That is the real question that should set it apart. You bring the gifts to the Brides house when you "Accept the Bride" this is more in line towards a wedding ceremony, as in the third link that I posted on a earlier post. The grey area is that times have changed, and along with the changing of time traditions also change and are not as EXACT as they once were. This is what my entire point is. Times have changed, and as well as the cultural traditions, they become more and more modern and more and more things are being accepted as a traditional norm.

The main issue of the original post was what is what, and I have listed websites and you have listed websites, and you have your opinion, and I have my opinion, but what really matters is what happens at the consulate. What matters there is IF you sign any paperwork making your marriage official or not. And to my knowledge no one had EVER been denied a K1 visa because they had a marriage ceremony instead of an engagement ceremony. In fact with our wedding/engagement ceremony we actually showed photos of me at the alter praying to her ancestors which is clearly a Wedding ceremony practice, unlike the disputed gift boxes, and it was never even mentioned simply because we never signed any paperwork, so regardless if it was a traditional engagement ceremony with gift boxes, or a traditional wedding ceremony with gift boxes, as long as nothing is signed then the petitioner should be fine when filing for a K1 and submitting the photos of the ceremony.

Jerome

Thats exactly what we did for our Dam Hoi... a procession to the family home with red boxes containing gifts and an elaborate tray of palm nuts, tea and cigarettes presented to everyone and a party that followed... the highlighted portion above is a common component of a Dam Hoi...

Receiving the bride</SPAN>

• 
  
  The Procession and gifts
  </SPAN>

Most new traditional style engagement ceremonies do include the red gift boxes, but in the past this was part of the wedding ceremony and not part of the engagement ceremony. I know links do show that it is part of the engagement ceremony but my main point is that in years past this was part of the wedding ceremony and not part of the engagement party. With the link you showed and many more links that I am sure you will show the gifts are considered a dowry. These decisions are all made prior to the engagement ceremony when they actually announce the day to everyone, but as I said in the older times the red boxes with gifts were considered part of the wedding party, not the engagement party, and there are also links that will show this as well.

http://vietnam-beaut...g-ceremony.html

http://www.vietnambu...aid=869&pgid=26

http://members.optusnet.com.au/~mylynguyen/Vietnamese/index.htm

Note the red boxes at the WEDDING Ceremony Also on the third link it does not have photos but it also talks about the gifts and recieving the bride.

Jerome

With all due respect to your wife, I disagree. The link I gave is specifically about engagement ceremonies and not wedding ceremonies, and very much resembles what we did. If you wish, I can provide a dozen or more links to similar articles describing similar events. I attended two more engagement ceremonies with my wife on subsequent trips to Vietnam. Aside from the fact that those were actually held in the future bride's home, they were also very similar to ours.

As Dau Que said, an engagement in Vietnam is planned well in advance. Perhaps what your wife is describing is the meeting between the families where the arrangements are made. In addition, many Vietnamese couples have the engagement and wedding ceremonies on the same day, rather than two separate events. If this is common where your wife is from then that may explain why she believes it was a wedding ceremony rather than only an engagement ceremony.

I also had a long talk with the Su Thuc a couple of days before the ceremony. He explained a lot to me about the commitments implied by the engagement ceremony, and it was very clear we were talking about engagement only and not marriage. The signs and banners around the restaurant at the party also clearly said "Le Dinh Hon", which means "Engagement".

Jim, do you know what the boxes symbolize? This is the dowry that the groom pays for the bride to be's parents, this is why it is considered part of the "Wedding ceremony" Many people do in fact do this with the engagement party also, but the actual meaning what I posted earlier is that it is actually for the wedding ceremony part, and not actually part of the engagement ceremony, UNLESS you are having them on the same day which also many people do in fact do, but to be politically correct, when you are giving gifts this is actually part of a WEDDING ceremony, and NOT an engagement ceremony, when the family gets together to meet when circumstances allow for it, the engagement ceremony is actually when they do start to do in-depth detailed planning of the wedding, and where the bride and groom will live after the wedding. You can disagree with me all you want on this subject, but I have not only asked my wife, but also my wife’s mother, her brother, the land lord where we live, as well as the neighbors on both sides, AND the 96 year old woman across the alley.

Not lying on who I asked either since this is a very important part of a relationship in Vietnam, I want people that might not be so sure of what is actually going on to know. I know at our wedding/engagement party I had no clue what was going on, I was just a party doing what was asked. Since then I have done research since many people here argue NOT to have a wedding ceremony, because many say that it will hurt you at the consulate. What I have found out through my research is that most people are actually doing an untypical wedding ceremony. Many people that have done the "Engagement Party" have brought gifts in the fancy red boxes, this is part of the wedding ceremony, and usually this is where the wedding ceremony and the engagement party similarities stop. Most people do not go to the alter and pray to the ancestors. One might argue that the culture has changed and the red boxes are now more considered to be part of an engagement party, but the fact is that in the past they were used as part of a wedding ceremony and NOT an engagement party. Hence at the first family meeting the dowry is decided, and then at the wedding ceremony the groom knows how many of those red boxes he must bring and what will be inside each of them.<BR style="mso-special-character: line-break"><BR style="mso-special-character: line-break">

Jerome and Binh

Google "Vietnamese engagement ceremony". Here's an example of what you'll get:

http://www.tuvy.com/...nt_ceremony.htm

The ceremony is unscripted, but it does follow a general pattern according to VN tradition. The girl usually wears a traditional Ao Dai. The boy may wear a traditional Ao Dai or other formal attire. See my avatar - that's what me and my wife wore at our engagement ceremony. The ceremony often begins with a procession by the groom's family to the bride's home carrying gifts - usually various specific kinds of food in fancy red boxes and covered with fancy red cloth.

My wife didn't want the ceremony at her mother's home in the village. Her ex-husband is a drunk, and he lives only a block away from her mother. There's no way we could have done this in the village without her ex-husband finding out and crashing the ceremony. Instead, we had the ceremony at the Buddhist temple where my wife prayed and studied. Here's the whole gang after the ceremony:

The ceremony is usually held in the morning. The party is a separate event, held in the afternoon. While there may be only a handful of people at the ceremony - mostly close family - there will often be two or three hundred at the party. The bride usually wears a wedding gown, and the groom usually wears a tux.

The consular office will want to see that you've had both - the ceremony and the party. They'll be interested in who attended the ceremony - they prefer to see some members of both families there. They'll also be interested in how many people attended the party - they prefer to see at least one or two hundred.

There's no way a CO would confuse an engagement party for a wedding party. If they see the words "Le Dinh Hon" written on anything then they'll know it was an engagement party.

Jim, I know that you clearly wanted to have an engagement party, and NOT a wedding ceremony if I am not mistaken by your previous posts months back. If you did what I have highlighted above then according to my wife, you did a WEDDING ceremony, and not a typical engagement ceremony. This according to BInh is what goes along with the wedding ceremony. This is also what we did with my wedding ceremony. A traditional engagement ceremony according to my wife is just the familys getting together and meeting with a dinner, and the bride to be's family does the cooking or paying for a dinner at a restaraunt.

Jerome

Many people say that you must have an Engagement party, and not a Wedding ceremony. The facts are simple, if you do not sign paperwork then you are NOT married. Many have done the entire wedding ceremony and never signed any documents and have never had any problems. I have also NEVER heard of anyone who did the wedding ceremony while filing for a K1 visa get denied because they showed photos of what appeared to be a wedding ceremony thus making them unable to legally apply for the K1 visa. I personally know a CO at the HCMC consulate, and he clearly understands the difference and that difference is SIGNING DOCUMENTS.

I know there are many people that will try to tell you the traditional way that each party works, and the differences, but what the CO is looking for in photos is how many people were there, and if you were dressed up POINT BLANK, along with of course your name somewhere showing that it was in fact YOUR engagement ceremony, and that you did not just go to someones wedding to stage photos (which by the way my friend said he has seen before! They submitted photos of their engagement party, and in one of the photos you could clearly see that it was not their names and the date was even different!).

Jerome and Binh

Not to burst your bubble, but as others have said, the easy part is over, and if you were sweating bullets then, get ready to curl up into a ball and cry for help. This process is something that you can't rush, since there is nothing we can do. Once you lick the stamp and put it in the mail box, there is nothing left we can do until you get packet 3, and then once you call the consulate and say everything is ready and they set up an interview, once again you guessed it, there is nothing we can do. We are the puppets, and they pull all the strings, so be ready to be danced around on stage for a while.

Good luck Jerome

Sont worry about the little things, what is done is done. If you are already affraid that you will be denied, then you will pass this feeling to your loved one, which will lead to more stress, and possibly a bad interview. Quit looking at all our cases and assuming that yours will be denied. Each case is different, and every CO is different. To answer your question, NO if they deny your visa there is basically nothing you can do to keep it at HCMC, unless...... you happen to be able to get through to the visa section cheif and he/she actually listens to your plea and then looks at your petition and feels that it warrants a further review. Once it is denied, it almost always goes back.

Jerome and Binh

They have hours to allow one in on two afternoons each week, not to meet with CO's but to get inside to talk with a CSR that will say anything to get you out of the building ASAP... If one asks to speak to the CO handling the case they will say the CO is too busy to talk with you.. been there done that.. if you ask to talk to the supervisor expect them to try to get rid of you without . I have only heard of a few times when someone actually got to talk to the CO handling the case... Ituan was one and the CO said I'll take the file home to go over it over the holiday weekend.. he shortly thereafter got the denial slip... IMO if one is in HCMC it is worth the time to go when one can to do a status inquiry in person.. it does get noted in the case file as does any congressional inquiry and any email response from them to you... its a paper trail of sorts that shows you take the situation seriously and are looking for a resolution... there is no guarantee that having the notations in the case file will help (Frank has inquired so many times and is still waiting) but IMO it cant hurt...

Its the submitting additional evidence that has been argued here and both theories have weight IMO... additional info could help a weak case.. or additional info could delay a case giving them more to have to look at... it depends on how comfortable one is with the evidence already submitted... I loaded them up as soon as we got put in AP and didnt add anything after that...

Scott, not to say that it isnt worth it, but...... In our case it WAS noted I was there and our denial still clearly stated that I was there only 1 TIME, even though through the evidence our attorney collected, the CO notes clearly showed that I was there 3 times total PRIOR to the denial.

To the OP if you are actually getting married, then your K1 will be VOID since you are now married. IF you mean you are doing a wedding ceremony without any paperwork being done then that is OK but I would not submit that evidence if there are any signs that say "Marriage Ceremony" simply because they are currently investigating your case, and if you submit something that says "wedding" or "marriage" then this gives them something else to look into. Also to the OP, if you keep submitting things each month or each week, it does in fact put your case back to the back, unless they are actually working on your case when the evidence gets added. I think this is why Frank has been in AP for so long since they were submitting additional evidence on a regular basis.

There is no way around the wait, you simply have to wait your turn, if you are a thorn in their side, some CO's like it and feel that you are serious about the petition, and that it is very important, while others might feel you are trying to push them into a decision which annoys them. Every case is different, as every CO is also different, what happens with my case may or may not happen with yours, or as in with Scott and Frank'c cases.

Good luck, and just be patient, get your senator involved, and if you want to risk being put into AP longer, keep submitting more evidence, and keep going to the consulate. Just do what ever you want to do and that you feel is in your best interests. After all this is YOUR life, and YOU will have to live with any decisions you make.

Good luck Jerome and Binh