Aly174

OMG OMG OMG OMG
I just got settled in back here in Alex, thought I would hop on and see what's new here with my fellow MENA pals and I read this..........
As Amber so nicely put it, we don't all always agree or share opinions here too often but I think you definitely got an honest overwhelming majority opinion 100on this one..
Melissa, I was so hopeful for you and your "fiance" to get through this whole process and I am still more than willing to help out with any advice pertaining to relationship with and marriage to an Egyptian man as well as immigration proceedings once you arrive at this point, as I am sure many here are as well...however this is one topic that no one can help with nor should you even be looking for help unless as a few others have said there is some legitimate reason the mother should not have custody for the "CHILD'S sake" which clearly does not appear to be the case. I am very sorry for saying this and I truly hope I am being too harsh and wrong, but I am really beginning to question the character of a man, specifically an Egyptian man, who would do such a thing or consider it let alone drag you into it. As others have pointed out, the boy is not even living with him and he is not even in Egypt at this point he works in Saudi and only goes back for short visits during summer break..he doesn't have a daily life with this child at this point, how could any good come out of the two of you tearing him from his mother who has basically been he sole parent and uprooting him to a strange country where he will have no one other than his dad and step brother as far as blood relatives go and ppl to look up to with same culture and background and a foreign step mom whom can't even communicate with him?!?!?!?!:blink:
Sweetie, you seem like a really nice and possibly overly caring woman from your previous posts...to be honest I am quite concerned and worried that your "love" and desire to want to make this man happy will be your undoing. No good Egyptian or good man period, would suggest doing this. I also can't help but notice from all of your previous posts how you are constantly looking for ways that seemingly are to make things easier or more conveinent for your "fiance". If he really wants to be actively involved in their lives more than just via skype and the occasional extended vacations, which by the way the boys mother may or may not even allow since you are talking about sending her child out of the country, the best thing you both could do would be live in Egypt...that is what is in the best interest of the children- this is everything and everyone they have ever known..you guys are the adults, you can adapt and make your own choices- they cannot...In addition to worrying about your "fiance's" feelings and wishes, have you for a moment considered those of the young boy? How will he feel towards you, a stranger, some foreign woman, who aided in helping his father take custody of him then uproot him from what as far as any of us know is a happy home and childhood with a mother whom I am certain he is very attached to and will be extremely loyal to especially if his father were to succeed in doing this...this is a recipe for disaster that you really do not want or need to bring into an already complicated and new relationship/marriage.
My suggestion, stay out of this one and please, please, please get to the core of your "man" and everything he truly stands for and make for certain it is in line with your true values and beliefs. It is easy to fall in love with someone online, especially since you spend so much time talking with them since that is basically all you can do from afar, I venture to say most of us here started that same way. The true test of the relationship lies in what happens in person, not how long you are able to nurture and maintain an online relationship, and only at this point will you get to know the real person you are in love with- by living with them day in and day out, during arguments when neither of you can escape by simply signing out of your computer- right now you are focusing on and thinking about the wrong things, you two first need to sort out a good and proper first official meeting. I strongly urge you not to wait until next summer to do so and marry at that point as you previously indicated. Please take a week and go now, have him meet you in Egypt prior to the school year starting- there is still plenty of time especially since Ramadan falls on August 1, this year- if this is impossible, then by all means get him to agree to meet with you for such a visit over winter break..see how it goes in person and between now and then, then plan your marriage for next summer's visit. I am in Egypt now and work in the education system as well, I am very familiar with the breaks and the fact that there are still plenty of opportunities to have such a visit during the next few months.
I gotta stop now, I feel I will get off topic; this just really got to me on many levels so I had to respond in such a way. Please don't take my response as a personal attack, I really really do wish you the very best.

OMG OMG OMG OMG
I just got settled in back here in Alex, thought I would hop on and see what's new here with my fellow MENA pals and I read this..........
As Amber so nicely put it, we don't all always agree or share opinions here too often but I think you definitely got an honest overwhelming majority opinion 100on this one..
Melissa, I was so hopeful for you and your "fiance" to get through this whole process and I am still more than willing to help out with any advice pertaining to relationship with and marriage to an Egyptian man as well as immigration proceedings once you arrive at this point, as I am sure many here are as well...however this is one topic that no one can help with nor should you even be looking for help unless as a few others have said there is some legitimate reason the mother should not have custody for the "CHILD'S sake" which clearly does not appear to be the case. I am very sorry for saying this and I truly hope I am being too harsh and wrong, but I am really beginning to question the character of a man, specifically an Egyptian man, who would do such a thing or consider it let alone drag you into it. As others have pointed out, the boy is not even living with him and he is not even in Egypt at this point he works in Saudi and only goes back for short visits during summer break..he doesn't have a daily life with this child at this point, how could any good come out of the two of you tearing him from his mother who has basically been he sole parent and uprooting him to a strange country where he will have no one other than his dad and step brother as far as blood relatives go and ppl to look up to with same culture and background and a foreign step mom whom can't even communicate with him?!?!?!?!:blink:
Sweetie, you seem like a really nice and possibly overly caring woman from your previous posts...to be honest I am quite concerned and worried that your "love" and desire to want to make this man happy will be your undoing. No good Egyptian or good man period, would suggest doing this. I also can't help but notice from all of your previous posts how you are constantly looking for ways that seemingly are to make things easier or more conveinent for your "fiance". If he really wants to be actively involved in their lives more than just via skype and the occasional extended vacations, which by the way the boys mother may or may not even allow since you are talking about sending her child out of the country, the best thing you both could do would be live in Egypt...that is what is in the best interest of the children- this is everything and everyone they have ever known..you guys are the adults, you can adapt and make your own choices- they cannot...In addition to worrying about your "fiance's" feelings and wishes, have you for a moment considered those of the young boy? How will he feel towards you, a stranger, some foreign woman, who aided in helping his father take custody of him then uproot him from what as far as any of us know is a happy home and childhood with a mother whom I am certain he is very attached to and will be extremely loyal to especially if his father were to succeed in doing this...this is a recipe for disaster that you really do not want or need to bring into an already complicated and new relationship/marriage.
My suggestion, stay out of this one and please, please, please get to the core of your "man" and everything he truly stands for and make for certain it is in line with your true values and beliefs. It is easy to fall in love with someone online, especially since you spend so much time talking with them since that is basically all you can do from afar, I venture to say most of us here started that same way. The true test of the relationship lies in what happens in person, not how long you are able to nurture and maintain an online relationship, and only at this point will you get to know the real person you are in love with- by living with them day in and day out, during arguments when neither of you can escape by simply signing out of your computer- right now you are focusing on and thinking about the wrong things, you two first need to sort out a good and proper first official meeting. I strongly urge you not to wait until next summer to do so and marry at that point as you previously indicated. Please take a week and go now, have him meet you in Egypt prior to the school year starting- there is still plenty of time especially since Ramadan falls on August 1, this year- if this is impossible, then by all means get him to agree to meet with you for such a visit over winter break..see how it goes in person and between now and then, then plan your marriage for next summer's visit. I am in Egypt now and work in the education system as well, I am very familiar with the breaks and the fact that there are still plenty of opportunities to have such a visit during the next few months.
I gotta stop now, I feel I will get off topic; this just really got to me on many levels so I had to respond in such a way. Please don't take my response as a personal attack, I really really do wish you the very best.

Yes, despite the strong words and opinions that OP's post have inspired...we are all looking for her best interest as well. If not through personal experience, I think we have all at least heard and read enough true horror stories here and else where to be warranted in our concerns. I can't knock meeting online and online relationships and falling madly in love with a man I haven't even met in person...I have been there, it can happen...Al hamdalillah, I got one of the truly good ones....I hope she has as well and we are all overreacting, but I am extremely cautious and worried based on the escalation of her posts...As a wife and someone deeply in love, I would go to the ends of the earth for my husband even walk through hell and back...but we are married and we have proven our relationship and I know with every fiber of my being he would do the same for me without question...she is not even to this point yet and already so consumed with basically how to be a good wife for him..I really hope Melissa, that you have not abandoned this post feeling that we have ganged up on you..if you read everyone's post you will see that is clearly not the intent...most of us have been here for a good while and seen too many things to sit idly by...if you were one of my girlfriends in real life, we would have a girls night out and I would say "honey, what are you thinking?" You said in one of your early posts that you both were in bad marriages when you met and supported one another through the disolution of those...maybe you did truly find your soulmate, but it is also very clear you were both in very vulnerable states so please make 100% certain everything is as it seems there is far too much at stake especially now that the two of you are discussing how to bring his children into the mix...
I do wish you the best and all the strength in the world..(F)no matter what choices you make from here it will not be an easy road. Please don't let this post deter you from seeking help or advice in the future here...this is a great group of people with lots of experience and insight, you just happened to open a very sensitive topic that is going to get lots of heartfelt responses.

OMG OMG OMG OMG
I just got settled in back here in Alex, thought I would hop on and see what's new here with my fellow MENA pals and I read this..........
As Amber so nicely put it, we don't all always agree or share opinions here too often but I think you definitely got an honest overwhelming majority opinion 100on this one..
Melissa, I was so hopeful for you and your "fiance" to get through this whole process and I am still more than willing to help out with any advice pertaining to relationship with and marriage to an Egyptian man as well as immigration proceedings once you arrive at this point, as I am sure many here are as well...however this is one topic that no one can help with nor should you even be looking for help unless as a few others have said there is some legitimate reason the mother should not have custody for the "CHILD'S sake" which clearly does not appear to be the case. I am very sorry for saying this and I truly hope I am being too harsh and wrong, but I am really beginning to question the character of a man, specifically an Egyptian man, who would do such a thing or consider it let alone drag you into it. As others have pointed out, the boy is not even living with him and he is not even in Egypt at this point he works in Saudi and only goes back for short visits during summer break..he doesn't have a daily life with this child at this point, how could any good come out of the two of you tearing him from his mother who has basically been he sole parent and uprooting him to a strange country where he will have no one other than his dad and step brother as far as blood relatives go and ppl to look up to with same culture and background and a foreign step mom whom can't even communicate with him?!?!?!?!:blink:
Sweetie, you seem like a really nice and possibly overly caring woman from your previous posts...to be honest I am quite concerned and worried that your "love" and desire to want to make this man happy will be your undoing. No good Egyptian or good man period, would suggest doing this. I also can't help but notice from all of your previous posts how you are constantly looking for ways that seemingly are to make things easier or more conveinent for your "fiance". If he really wants to be actively involved in their lives more than just via skype and the occasional extended vacations, which by the way the boys mother may or may not even allow since you are talking about sending her child out of the country, the best thing you both could do would be live in Egypt...that is what is in the best interest of the children- this is everything and everyone they have ever known..you guys are the adults, you can adapt and make your own choices- they cannot...In addition to worrying about your "fiance's" feelings and wishes, have you for a moment considered those of the young boy? How will he feel towards you, a stranger, some foreign woman, who aided in helping his father take custody of him then uproot him from what as far as any of us know is a happy home and childhood with a mother whom I am certain he is very attached to and will be extremely loyal to especially if his father were to succeed in doing this...this is a recipe for disaster that you really do not want or need to bring into an already complicated and new relationship/marriage.
My suggestion, stay out of this one and please, please, please get to the core of your "man" and everything he truly stands for and make for certain it is in line with your true values and beliefs. It is easy to fall in love with someone online, especially since you spend so much time talking with them since that is basically all you can do from afar, I venture to say most of us here started that same way. The true test of the relationship lies in what happens in person, not how long you are able to nurture and maintain an online relationship, and only at this point will you get to know the real person you are in love with- by living with them day in and day out, during arguments when neither of you can escape by simply signing out of your computer- right now you are focusing on and thinking about the wrong things, you two first need to sort out a good and proper first official meeting. I strongly urge you not to wait until next summer to do so and marry at that point as you previously indicated. Please take a week and go now, have him meet you in Egypt prior to the school year starting- there is still plenty of time especially since Ramadan falls on August 1, this year- if this is impossible, then by all means get him to agree to meet with you for such a visit over winter break..see how it goes in person and between now and then, then plan your marriage for next summer's visit. I am in Egypt now and work in the education system as well, I am very familiar with the breaks and the fact that there are still plenty of opportunities to have such a visit during the next few months.
I gotta stop now, I feel I will get off topic; this just really got to me on many levels so I had to respond in such a way. Please don't take my response as a personal attack, I really really do wish you the very best.

Yes, despite the strong words and opinions that OP's post have inspired...we are all looking for her best interest as well. If not through personal experience, I think we have all at least heard and read enough true horror stories here and else where to be warranted in our concerns. I can't knock meeting online and online relationships and falling madly in love with a man I haven't even met in person...I have been there, it can happen...Al hamdalillah, I got one of the truly good ones....I hope she has as well and we are all overreacting, but I am extremely cautious and worried based on the escalation of her posts...As a wife and someone deeply in love, I would go to the ends of the earth for my husband even walk through hell and back...but we are married and we have proven our relationship and I know with every fiber of my being he would do the same for me without question...she is not even to this point yet and already so consumed with basically how to be a good wife for him..I really hope Melissa, that you have not abandoned this post feeling that we have ganged up on you..if you read everyone's post you will see that is clearly not the intent...most of us have been here for a good while and seen too many things to sit idly by...if you were one of my girlfriends in real life, we would have a girls night out and I would say "honey, what are you thinking?" You said in one of your early posts that you both were in bad marriages when you met and supported one another through the disolution of those...maybe you did truly find your soulmate, but it is also very clear you were both in very vulnerable states so please make 100% certain everything is as it seems there is far too much at stake especially now that the two of you are discussing how to bring his children into the mix...
I do wish you the best and all the strength in the world..(F)no matter what choices you make from here it will not be an easy road. Please don't let this post deter you from seeking help or advice in the future here...this is a great group of people with lots of experience and insight, you just happened to open a very sensitive topic that is going to get lots of heartfelt responses.

Yes, despite the strong words and opinions that OP's post have inspired...we are all looking for her best interest as well. If not through personal experience, I think we have all at least heard and read enough true horror stories here and else where to be warranted in our concerns. I can't knock meeting online and online relationships and falling madly in love with a man I haven't even met in person...I have been there, it can happen...Al hamdalillah, I got one of the truly good ones....I hope she has as well and we are all overreacting, but I am extremely cautious and worried based on the escalation of her posts...As a wife and someone deeply in love, I would go to the ends of the earth for my husband even walk through hell and back...but we are married and we have proven our relationship and I know with every fiber of my being he would do the same for me without question...she is not even to this point yet and already so consumed with basically how to be a good wife for him..I really hope Melissa, that you have not abandoned this post feeling that we have ganged up on you..if you read everyone's post you will see that is clearly not the intent...most of us have been here for a good while and seen too many things to sit idly by...if you were one of my girlfriends in real life, we would have a girls night out and I would say "honey, what are you thinking?" You said in one of your early posts that you both were in bad marriages when you met and supported one another through the disolution of those...maybe you did truly find your soulmate, but it is also very clear you were both in very vulnerable states so please make 100% certain everything is as it seems there is far too much at stake especially now that the two of you are discussing how to bring his children into the mix...
I do wish you the best and all the strength in the world..(F)no matter what choices you make from here it will not be an easy road. Please don't let this post deter you from seeking help or advice in the future here...this is a great group of people with lots of experience and insight, you just happened to open a very sensitive topic that is going to get lots of heartfelt responses.

OMG OMG OMG OMG
I just got settled in back here in Alex, thought I would hop on and see what's new here with my fellow MENA pals and I read this..........
As Amber so nicely put it, we don't all always agree or share opinions here too often but I think you definitely got an honest overwhelming majority opinion 100on this one..
Melissa, I was so hopeful for you and your "fiance" to get through this whole process and I am still more than willing to help out with any advice pertaining to relationship with and marriage to an Egyptian man as well as immigration proceedings once you arrive at this point, as I am sure many here are as well...however this is one topic that no one can help with nor should you even be looking for help unless as a few others have said there is some legitimate reason the mother should not have custody for the "CHILD'S sake" which clearly does not appear to be the case. I am very sorry for saying this and I truly hope I am being too harsh and wrong, but I am really beginning to question the character of a man, specifically an Egyptian man, who would do such a thing or consider it let alone drag you into it. As others have pointed out, the boy is not even living with him and he is not even in Egypt at this point he works in Saudi and only goes back for short visits during summer break..he doesn't have a daily life with this child at this point, how could any good come out of the two of you tearing him from his mother who has basically been he sole parent and uprooting him to a strange country where he will have no one other than his dad and step brother as far as blood relatives go and ppl to look up to with same culture and background and a foreign step mom whom can't even communicate with him?!?!?!?!:blink:
Sweetie, you seem like a really nice and possibly overly caring woman from your previous posts...to be honest I am quite concerned and worried that your "love" and desire to want to make this man happy will be your undoing. No good Egyptian or good man period, would suggest doing this. I also can't help but notice from all of your previous posts how you are constantly looking for ways that seemingly are to make things easier or more conveinent for your "fiance". If he really wants to be actively involved in their lives more than just via skype and the occasional extended vacations, which by the way the boys mother may or may not even allow since you are talking about sending her child out of the country, the best thing you both could do would be live in Egypt...that is what is in the best interest of the children- this is everything and everyone they have ever known..you guys are the adults, you can adapt and make your own choices- they cannot...In addition to worrying about your "fiance's" feelings and wishes, have you for a moment considered those of the young boy? How will he feel towards you, a stranger, some foreign woman, who aided in helping his father take custody of him then uproot him from what as far as any of us know is a happy home and childhood with a mother whom I am certain he is very attached to and will be extremely loyal to especially if his father were to succeed in doing this...this is a recipe for disaster that you really do not want or need to bring into an already complicated and new relationship/marriage.
My suggestion, stay out of this one and please, please, please get to the core of your "man" and everything he truly stands for and make for certain it is in line with your true values and beliefs. It is easy to fall in love with someone online, especially since you spend so much time talking with them since that is basically all you can do from afar, I venture to say most of us here started that same way. The true test of the relationship lies in what happens in person, not how long you are able to nurture and maintain an online relationship, and only at this point will you get to know the real person you are in love with- by living with them day in and day out, during arguments when neither of you can escape by simply signing out of your computer- right now you are focusing on and thinking about the wrong things, you two first need to sort out a good and proper first official meeting. I strongly urge you not to wait until next summer to do so and marry at that point as you previously indicated. Please take a week and go now, have him meet you in Egypt prior to the school year starting- there is still plenty of time especially since Ramadan falls on August 1, this year- if this is impossible, then by all means get him to agree to meet with you for such a visit over winter break..see how it goes in person and between now and then, then plan your marriage for next summer's visit. I am in Egypt now and work in the education system as well, I am very familiar with the breaks and the fact that there are still plenty of opportunities to have such a visit during the next few months.
I gotta stop now, I feel I will get off topic; this just really got to me on many levels so I had to respond in such a way. Please don't take my response as a personal attack, I really really do wish you the very best.

OMG OMG OMG OMG
I just got settled in back here in Alex, thought I would hop on and see what's new here with my fellow MENA pals and I read this..........
As Amber so nicely put it, we don't all always agree or share opinions here too often but I think you definitely got an honest overwhelming majority opinion 100on this one..
Melissa, I was so hopeful for you and your "fiance" to get through this whole process and I am still more than willing to help out with any advice pertaining to relationship with and marriage to an Egyptian man as well as immigration proceedings once you arrive at this point, as I am sure many here are as well...however this is one topic that no one can help with nor should you even be looking for help unless as a few others have said there is some legitimate reason the mother should not have custody for the "CHILD'S sake" which clearly does not appear to be the case. I am very sorry for saying this and I truly hope I am being too harsh and wrong, but I am really beginning to question the character of a man, specifically an Egyptian man, who would do such a thing or consider it let alone drag you into it. As others have pointed out, the boy is not even living with him and he is not even in Egypt at this point he works in Saudi and only goes back for short visits during summer break..he doesn't have a daily life with this child at this point, how could any good come out of the two of you tearing him from his mother who has basically been he sole parent and uprooting him to a strange country where he will have no one other than his dad and step brother as far as blood relatives go and ppl to look up to with same culture and background and a foreign step mom whom can't even communicate with him?!?!?!?!:blink:
Sweetie, you seem like a really nice and possibly overly caring woman from your previous posts...to be honest I am quite concerned and worried that your "love" and desire to want to make this man happy will be your undoing. No good Egyptian or good man period, would suggest doing this. I also can't help but notice from all of your previous posts how you are constantly looking for ways that seemingly are to make things easier or more conveinent for your "fiance". If he really wants to be actively involved in their lives more than just via skype and the occasional extended vacations, which by the way the boys mother may or may not even allow since you are talking about sending her child out of the country, the best thing you both could do would be live in Egypt...that is what is in the best interest of the children- this is everything and everyone they have ever known..you guys are the adults, you can adapt and make your own choices- they cannot...In addition to worrying about your "fiance's" feelings and wishes, have you for a moment considered those of the young boy? How will he feel towards you, a stranger, some foreign woman, who aided in helping his father take custody of him then uproot him from what as far as any of us know is a happy home and childhood with a mother whom I am certain he is very attached to and will be extremely loyal to especially if his father were to succeed in doing this...this is a recipe for disaster that you really do not want or need to bring into an already complicated and new relationship/marriage.
My suggestion, stay out of this one and please, please, please get to the core of your "man" and everything he truly stands for and make for certain it is in line with your true values and beliefs. It is easy to fall in love with someone online, especially since you spend so much time talking with them since that is basically all you can do from afar, I venture to say most of us here started that same way. The true test of the relationship lies in what happens in person, not how long you are able to nurture and maintain an online relationship, and only at this point will you get to know the real person you are in love with- by living with them day in and day out, during arguments when neither of you can escape by simply signing out of your computer- right now you are focusing on and thinking about the wrong things, you two first need to sort out a good and proper first official meeting. I strongly urge you not to wait until next summer to do so and marry at that point as you previously indicated. Please take a week and go now, have him meet you in Egypt prior to the school year starting- there is still plenty of time especially since Ramadan falls on August 1, this year- if this is impossible, then by all means get him to agree to meet with you for such a visit over winter break..see how it goes in person and between now and then, then plan your marriage for next summer's visit. I am in Egypt now and work in the education system as well, I am very familiar with the breaks and the fact that there are still plenty of opportunities to have such a visit during the next few months.
I gotta stop now, I feel I will get off topic; this just really got to me on many levels so I had to respond in such a way. Please don't take my response as a personal attack, I really really do wish you the very best.

Congratulations on moving to NVC!
We were approved by USCIS April 19th, NVC received our case the 26th but it didn't get assigned a case number or show in their system until the 29th..so yeah give them at least a week before requesting an operator...good luck to you