CasandraYounes

Okay So we are up to removing my husband's conditions which I know is cutting it pretty short as his card expires November 7th. I am overnighting the package and sending it today with the following:

1.) Rental lease for old apartment in 2009 and for the new apartment in 2010-2012

2.) Auto insurance listing both of us

3.) Medical and dental insurance listing him on family plan

4.) Joint tax returns for 2009,2010

5.) Bank account info: joint savings and copies of transfers between both of our checking accounts to each other. Not sure if I should be blacking out the full account number and just leaving the last four.

6.) Letter from my internship in 2010 regarding finances and current letter from employer.

7.) Last 3 pay stubs for both my husband and I

8.) Mail with both of our names

9.) School enrollment for my husband (not sure if they need this)

10.) Pictures of us together with my family, don't have a lot with my friends though

11.) Notarized letters from family acknowledging our marriage

Don't think I am leaving anything out, but any information and/or advice would be greatly appreciated. Oh and add me to the November filers list I guess since I probably won't get an NOA until the first or so.

Don't know if you have already left or not, but for my mother-in-law I got her a ring that I bought, a winter snuggie almost(not quite though) and perfume.

I have done that route many many times. I always found flying out of JFK to Madrid using royal air maroc and then using Iberia to go to Casa to be cheaper for me. The only thing with Iberia I noticed is you have to buy your own food. Don't know if that has changed. Madrid's airport is seriously not meant for people overnighting it so if you can avoid that by all means do. If you're just having a basic layover for a few hours that's better if you can get that. In terms of gifts I didn't get clothes until after my second trip as I knew everyone's size. I stuck to things like perfume, winter pajamas that could be worn big, slippers, games, jewelry, make-up. Those types of things. You will do fine.

I have been making a lot of Moroccan food since my hubby has been here. Almost two years this coming November. I have had to rely on cookbooks, cooking with alia, and youtube to teach me the traditions. What I have learned is that cooking with alia, for many of the dishes, when she stays traditional they are authentic. For some, I can say I appreciate the adjustments as they help me cook faster and the ingredients are either too expensive or hard to find, like saffron. I bought a mixture specifically to assist me with making the bread and have not mastered up the courage to make it. I am with you though, I think kneeding it in the mixer and then by hand is the best way to go, but the hand work looks so hard.

Thanks for asking this questions because I was wondering the same myself.

I am so glad that someone asked this question because I learned a lot from this post. Aziz and I were hoping to start applying for his parents within the next year and wanted to know how to get the process started. Glad it doesn't take months.

wow....I had no idea about that. Checked the sight and I can just imagine what those women must have thought. Makes me think about my pics. My hubby isn't too fond of having pics on here either. I mostly put everything new and recent on facebook and my page is private.

My husband came through MIA over a year ago. I met him at MIA and had to wait 6 hours for him. Granted, I got there like 2 hours early because I thought his plan was supposed to arrive at 2, but it was late one hour and I didn't get to see him until about 6:30 or 7:00pm. I did not know what a big custom hotspot MIA is otherwise I would have arranged everything for JFK. I was a total worried mess by the time he got to me. My husband was the last person to leave out of customs, but thank God I was prepared because we did not miss our flight.

My husband has been here a year and two months and his plans have not changed. At first, he thought Americans were a certain way and found that most people respect each other, keep to themselves and simply want to do for their families. My husband and I both work, but he still has this ideal of finding a job to make a lot of money. Many of his friends in Morocco keep trying to think of quick ideas like selling phones or doing something like that. However, he is slowly realizing that it takes time and is currently in school and has completed two semesters. Like Jenn, my husband loves many things about America, but also finds that some things are better in Morocco. Getting into politics is another story.

Happy Birthday ladies hope you enjoy it and have a great day.

Jacksonville/Gainesville(now moving), FL

Aww congrats!!! He is so beautiful and congrats on your anniversary.

From an academic standpoint concerning MENA marriages to American citizens. there are tons of research articles out there. To give a specific number would be tricky. For my thesis, I conducted research on women that had married Muslim men from various countries and what I obtained was not appalling, but the reasons and stats were pretty much based on acculturation/assimilation, conversion/expectations, known barriers,etc. In my study, out of 1000 married couples, it was found that 63% of women married to Muslim men from various countries were more likely to experience a separation or divorce within the first five years. Although this was just a small sample, you could see where I'm going, but still even with a sample the stats are tricky. Based on what I see here on VJ, I would agree with others that it would be 50/50 for new couples. I don't really see many older couples pop it, sometimes the updates are good and bad though. Like you said it really depends on a lot of issues. I can understand why those that have been divorced would stop posting. Like others have said, it could be not needing VJ, being ashamed and various other things. I think that you have a lot of courage to share what you have concerning your marriage because it is not easy. I feel that you are right in that, in your situation, people change and expectations change and that is often what leads to divorce in certain situations, cultures, and marriages.

I always thought that cultural and religious issues would be a big one, but being on VJ I have come to realize that there are a lot of them. My husband and I just celebrated our 2 year anniversary a few weeks ago and I am greatful. We have discussed everything from roles of women, religion, and cultural issues. Although we do clash sometimes, he knows where I am not willing to change. I grew up with my father being a very strict Muslim, although I did not live with him, I knew his expectations. The way my father is and the way my husband is are two different extremes. Now, with time, I am sure that people will change and perhaps my husband may grow to be a little more pious, but we have discussed that. At first, my husband was uncomfortable with me coming home really late (at night) from classes or going out at night without him, but he understood that my schedule was something I could not help and he just had to be understanding. He was surprised at how busy and independent I was, but did not realize how much help I needed to maintain things. After we fought about it and worked it out, he was able to see that the role he was used to needed to be adjusted. I can say that my husband is a little different from some MENA men in that in his house roles were somewhat untraditional in that both his parents worked and chores were shared equally. From extended family members, it was expected that everyone knew their place and tradition. With that said, I appreciate everything that he does for me. Our marriage is not perfect, but we are happy and willing to compromise where we are and in the future. With any couple and just being married to someone from another country can be challenge. The visa process is tough, but adjusting to each other here is harder.

Hello MENA,

It is burning over here in Florida. Have enjoyed being off from school. This Friday is filled with some fun packing. We are moving next week and HATE the moving process, but we will get this done. Hope everyone enjoys their weekend.

Zaytoona - We did provide the I-693. The instructions said that we needed the vaccination portion. So we took his vaccination document from morocco and had it transcribed. It cost us about $50.

Casandra!!!! Girl I miss talking with you. We got it!!! I'm so excited. The crappy part about finding out is that I found out on the day I went offshore. So we weren't even together to celebrate. Houston is okay. We still don't know anybody. We're both kind of lonely. Abdou especially when i am gone. But we will make it work. And thank goodness he will be able to get a job soon. Hopefully.

Hey Tasha,

I miss you too. I am excited for you both, feels like it has been a LONG journey. That does suck that you were offshore, but you will be able to celebrate once you are home. Aziz and I are looking to move within the next 3 weeks. Has Abdou been to the mosque or some of the Islamic centers there? I know with Ramadan coming up soon, he will be bound to make friends and hopefully find a job soon. Good luck and keep me posted. Let me know if you need anything.

Congrats that is such great news. We really need to catch up. How are you guys doing in Houston?

Congrats...that approval seems to be an eternity. The same happened to us with the CO, she seemed to already know what she needed to know based on what she had in her computer. They also don't give you enough time to respond. Sorry about the runaround though, hope that he is able to pick up that visa soon.

My husband applied for it, but never won it. They didn't ask him any questions pertaining to that during his interview nor was it asked on the forms we filled out. Hope that helps.

congrats...so happy for you both. I know that must have been the best feeling ever. Now the trip home!

I remember the festival being held somewhere else last year...I know a lot of ppl here in MENA have gone to some of the others. Hopefully they will have some good insight to offer. When I went to the website it seemed interesting. Too bad we will be both relocating and settling in that time.

Wow your interview was extensive. My hubby experienced the same. I hope that whatever reviewing he is doing does not take up a lot of time. Thus, I am praying for a fast approval. I wish you both the best of luck in your future together as a family.

Congrats...glad to hear you guys made it back safe and sound. Unfortunate about your interview experience, but good to know you guys are well adjusted. Best of luck to you both

Cassie,

I just want to say I had a smile on my face reading your 7-month Update since your hubby's arrival. Seems he is adjusting very well. I think it depends most on the person's attitude towards the whole experience. Living in a foreign country and being married to a woman/man from a whole different culture can be very overwhelming if the person lets himself/herself to homesickness and dwelling on the memories instead of getting up and working for their future.

I am no expert in this, I've been here for only 2 months but I think that...Keeping a constant communication with the family is very important, going out and making friends is important as well (I haven't done that yet and I miss having lots of friends!), being optimistic and looking at the bright side of the experience should help a lot, and of course receiving emotional support from the USC spouse.

Thank you for sharing your experience, Cassie. I wish you a very happy long life with your husband.

Aya

Aya,

I really enjoyed reading your response because it is great to hear it from another perspective. Especially since you are going through it. Yes, I can proudly say that my husband is adjusting pretty well and your are so right about the homesickness. Aziz felt a little like this in the beginning and I encouraged him to find a way to keep constant contact with his family, even if it is with at least memeber. You are right about the process being overwhelming and I know that sometimes we don't always take this into account. Well, I do speak for myself, but I am working at that. Its not easy for everyone. I can imagine not having a social network must be hard, but being the person you are, I am sure that you will make friends soon.

Thank you for your kind words and I wish you both a happy and long life together.

Cassie

Congrats on such great news. Good luck with the move and I wish you both the best.

I recently bought the book Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day, and it has been life changing. I highly recommend it for those with Moroccan spouses or anyone else who eats bread a lot. I had never even tried to make bread, and I was scared to work with yeast, but this makes it so easy, and there is no kneading involved. Also, you make a lot of dough at once and then you can just take a piece each day out of the refrigerator and cook it and have fresh bread. And once you have the dough you can also use it in any way - regular bread cooked in the oven, or something closer to naan or Moroccan bread that you fry. I could go on and on...

Wow, thanks for the advice. You are absolutely right because with the money I spend buy bread close to two times aa week, I could really be saving myself. I myself have never tried making bread either or using yeast, except for fried variations. Thanks for the tips and I have made a book list and look forward to getting some of the recommended books.