HYENA

My fiance just received her interview date today! We are very excited. If anyone has any "must know" advice for the interview, please do tell. Thanks!

Be honest and sincere; that's it! If it's legit with no unusual issues and all the papers, piece of cake!

Long time no see; hope everyone is doing well here! In a month or two, i need to get the paperwork for the 10yr GC out. THings are going well so far. She's not able to drive but slip some cash to a translator (yes in the US) and you've got your learner's permit. She knows the rules but learning what looks to her like gibberish isn't easy at 35 given her schooling. At least now I can send her to driving school here (although a bribed license in LOS does not mean one can drive, they wouldn't accept her international license for driving school here). I am happy I can at least get her into the system in that respect.

Things are going well; I learned prior bumps in the road were cyclical but pregnancy put an end to the monthly mania (hahaha)! She's a superb step-mother to my kids (who we just got custody of) so our new addition will make things even more exciting at home.

I wish driving schools only had the road skills classes for more than 6 hours here ( It's difficult for a nervous husband to teach a loved one how to drive without sounding angry or offending the student; that's best left up to a third party (kids are another thing, but I can't seem to do it without more gray hair).

NIce to see those of you still here. I'm wondring about the possibility of a B2 visa for childbirth (her mother). They own land, she's a farmer and has no knowledge of a single English word (but it would be nice to have her here for her grandbaby). Any thoughts on this? Is it worth it? I'll keep browsing the site for similar visa stories (money is everything, even in the visa world). Unfortunately, her family got left out of the money train rolling through SE Asia but hopefully when we're done putting 2 of her family through school, they will be best able to help themselves at a higher level.

My absolute best to you all! You're a wonderful group of people!

He was tested, it showed positive. He was tested again. It was positive. Being tired is completely different than looking high. It is often difficult for someone attracted (unconsciously) to addicts/alcoholics. How do I know? I work in the field; it's my profession.

The things that pop out to me adding the weight of statistics... Forgive me; it's not your fault but I must say this. Statistics say if one has chosen an addict or an alcoholic in the past, they will choose another (often having no idea). I've done the same and after we bought a house together, she was tipping half gallons of vodka straight down the hatch. I can spot an addict/alcoholic in a room full of people because I'm attracted to them. It's a common phenomenon (go to an ALANON meeting and ask them; they laugh about it it's so prevalent). OK...enough of the statistical choices we make.

Next you asked for prayers (or alluded to that asking for an answer). Re-read your post; your prayers were answered before you wrote your post. Should you remain with him? You prayed for an answer and I can tell you he was untruthful. If he tested positive then popped him for a subsequent test, any opiate seeds (poppy) would have been at such a low level, they would be out of the system in less than 3 days (3 days for opiates to clear urine, as much as 4-8 weeks for marijuana). He tested positive; we know that and these tests already have cutoff values to take into account secondary exposure (meaning so many parts per million there is a cutoff where they consider the test negative). Poppy seeds are accounted in most tests and they raise the cutoff a little higher unless someone ate a handfull (and I seriously doubt poppy seed bagels are popular in Egypt--or poppy seed anything). False positive? You just don't see them on a second test because the second test is often gas spectrometry where they burn/vaporize the sample and read the telltake wavelengths of it's content signature. Hard to explain but he was positive (likely with the inexpensive quick test) then the retest was more than likely gas spectrometry. GS is what they use on hair samples and it is highly accurate.

It is difficult to see what has been written and review, but if you open your eyes, your prayers are answered and you know the truth deep down inside. THere is something about this man you are attracted to and as humans, we tend to repeat mistakes. I'm attracted to addicts whether or not they are using, whether or not I have prior knowledge of their use. It's a sick sixth sense I seem to be cursed with. My wife (luckily) has alcohol intolerance so I got lucky this time (because I knew I would more than likely choose an addict or an addict in the making given my dead on history. It's the same reason an abused spouse will often remarry and subsequently (if she survives two previous marriages) keep choosing those who have a propensity to abuse. I can't explain this phenomenon but it is real and tangible. Denial is a huge part of this and working in the field now, "earth people" can see things I previously couldn't. I now can sniff out the users in a room because I have an affinity towards them. Perhaps this is the case?

I can tell you one thing; beyond a doubt, your man has been less than honest with you and if you keep holding out for possible explanations, you will have reservations/reasons not to believe what has just happened, and just happened again (2 positive tests).

If you REALLY want to get to the truth, I believe in my heart you can pull it out of him. If it were me, I would "make it OK" sounding on the phone or webcam whereby he feels comfortable admitting he used a little. If you make it comfortable for him to let down his guard and admit it, then he'll tell you the truth. I hate to say it, but you may consider (what I've used interrogating) is that there may be a way out of all this and if he can tell you what he used, you think there's a good chance you can come up with an explanation for the embassy but he needs to be straight with you. Make it OK for him to admit it and he will; he wants to tell you if you're OK with it. Duirng my days, the heck if I was going to tell anyone unless it was OK with them. If they said it was intolerable and unacceptable, there would be no way I would have admitted at the time I was using XYZ drugs when I was, even in the face of positive tests (and yes, I've tested positive and been in that situation). I know a lot about this and I wish I could see you in person to emphasize you're not seeing what God has set out before you. We all want what we want and we pray for signs....The man stranded on an island refused the boats and helicopters only to starve and die because he was waiting for God to pick him up...God said "I sent a friggin helicopter and boat, what do you want a limousine"?

Open your eyes; you have a full life ahead of you. Be aware of your propensity to be attracted to addicts and take that into account while seeking a spouse. I know my faults and embrace them so I can deal with them. Denial will surely lead me back to the chaos I once lived. Don't spend any more money on this situation. You prayed and your prayers were answered. Go back and review your answers; no one is sending a limousine. You've got two tests and plenty of good suggestions. Be aware of your preference to cling onto the suggestions you WANT to hear versus those you NEED to hear. If this isn't a sign from above, hold out for the limo.

Tiredness has never warranted my being suspect of using but using drugs always has warranted concerns like those the embassy. Tested once, he was unable to get clean for the second test, tested again and failed again. Funny thing is MOST of the time, we cannot tell when one has been using (ever done an employee-wide drug screen?) You have a solid 10% who come up positive where no one had any idea they had drugs (or traces) in their system.

FYI, no drugs last a year in your system unless it is a year old hair sample. THe longest is marijuanna which can max out at a couple months. OK...done with my book.

IN summary, tell him you know people who smoke pot and it's legal in some states with a doctor's note...loosen him up and make it ok to tell you what happened. Otherwise the deception/denial cycle will continue and begin to cost money and years of your life.

When I was in my prime, I certainly could clean up for a couple months no problem. Employee of the year? That's me! no one knew except me and I would have admitted it to anyone who was OK with the truth back then.

You're a good person. He is a good person who is afraid of coming out. It just may not be meant to be.

So my wife has been here for a year and a half and still hasn't been able to negotiate the learner's permit or improve on her reading much, if at all. She got her international driver's license from Thailand (slip em 1000 baht you can get anything there) but that doesn't mean she knows how to drive (she dented my house with the car, pushed in the bumper a bit so driving lessons are over for me).

Does anyone know of any English language CD's or anything? I've directed her to online sites but her internet skills are poor and she's just stuck not improving much (using the same words, although I'll teach her, the next week it's back to square 1 for words). We're both frustrated. Her education level pleads for more schooling and it doesn't appear (I'm learning) she's got the drive to sit down and study anything for more than 20 minutes.

I take her to work watching kids daily but my school starts soon, there's no bus service and I can't get her into driving school without a US learner's permit (although I have her insured with her international DL here, she doesn't know how to drive without nearly killing us or wrecking each trip).

We desperately want her to learn to drive but things aren't coming as fast as others I see here, even at a slow pace!

I can't instill the drive to study or retain information (perhaps learning disabled)? I'm desperate for some English learning programs but can't find any from Thai to English (I learned thai using Pimsleur, which was great but there's no English equivalent and she needs to master spelling and alphabet sounds, sounding out words, etc).

Having a much more difficult time than we anticipated. Everything hinges on her learning to drive since there's no bus service here.

Any suggestions I'd be grateful!

buy gold, bring it here, sell the gold. that's always the most efficient way to move high sums of cash.

my wife was working as a nanny but she can't be away from home 14 days per month covering for night shift (the mom works nights/days but needs someone to watch the kids while she sleeps during the day, then works days and needs help during day work hours). She works 12 hour shifts 14 days out of the month in PA but can't do it all. We're grateful for the job, but it doesn't pay but half what she could make but limited English I think it's better than nothing.

Any ideas? We're trying to help the mom out. My wife has been helping but can't do it all and eventually she'll need to learn enough English to pass the learners permit and drivers exams, then get a real job that pays well (she really needs driving experience and I can't be the teacher)

ugh worries worries!

there is a nursing JOB shortage right now. Regarding getting your BSN, all 4 years includes prerequisites. I'm going back after over 20 years to get my BSN. I was working in a BS in healthcare administration/MBA but some places prefer BSN to get beyond certain levels of leadership.

If you get in, don't worry about reputation of someone who is not you. Worrying about things you cannot control is a waste of time. In the US, people do their best and more often than not are judged based on their own merits (which is a big reason why we claimed independence from the UK long ago). If you get into a program and you want it bad enough, you'll pass. I learned when I went back to school it's not how smart you are, it's how much you want it that matters.

I looked for a job for over a year and that's with certifications and lots of experience. I suggest working at a Vetera's hospital as a janitor or secretary or whatever, then they'll pay you while you go to nursing school.

First: Thank you all for you replies. This helps immensely.

I'm still not sure if I am going to pull the sponsorship just yet. Its up in the air at the moment and I need some more time to see if things are going to change or if she's going to continue doing what she has always been doing.

The I-485 was recently transferred from California to Missouri... Is that a sign that the green card could be issued soon? I really hope that there is an interview process, that way I have a firm deadline of when I can make my final decision. But I read that the California Service Center can just approve it and mail her the green card without any interview Anyone have any insight on this?

You hit the nail right on the head when you said, "I would never wish this on anyone." That has been exactly my thoughts since I found out. She has caused me some seriously intense emotional pain.

And I agree that her green card is a benefit of being married and faithful to me. If she cannot fulfill her side while I have, why should she benefit?

stay married and file no more papers. at some point you'll want to visit her home country (and she cannot return)

get rid of the loving pictures and videos. They supoort her claim as a bona fide marriage.

go on a vacation to her home when her GC has less than 6 months left. Be done with it

mark my words; she has other interests. She is interested in cheating on you. It's always the accuser who is the actor.

One quick example are the preachers who preach against pedophilia; they are more often than not the actors. Think of all your friends where cheating has occurred; it's the cheater who was always pointing the finger, wasn't it?...To detract from their actions.

If she's impossible, going back home and leaving her there (if she's got no future here) will release you from financial responsibility here.

I considered it when my wife started contacting an ex boyfriend over and over after I told her this was intolerable and I clearly could see she's still interested in him. I have no need for that in my life. It all depends if she's crossed that line, so to speak. For me, my wife did cross that line and I haven't laid a finger on her since and emotionally it ended right there (we had a sworn agreement before getting married and this is the third betrayal).

I've done nothing but send money to her relatives, open the wallet for her and bought nothing for myself all this time. Right now, she's a burden and not contributing to the home very much. I asked her if she thought our responsibility distribution for running a household and our lives as a couple were fair and she said no, that I do most everything (at least she's honest), she sleeps 15 hours a day, eats, watches TV. I have no place for that in my life especially since a lot of work was done to lead me into believing she had mastered the computer, was highly employable (nothing special; any job would do) but right now no work, no looking for work, no interest in learning English, no help at home and lots of request$$$$.

I'm playing devils' advocate here but it's a common thought to drop them off where they came from and say it didn't work out. It's a cleaner break. If I moved somewhere for some woman and it didn't work, why would I stay there?

I am so very sorry for what happened to you! My heat broke.

I hope you find your answers. I do know you can continue and get the visa because you came here and married in good faith. In the future, be aware of controlling relationships (I only say this to help you). It is common for an abused spouse to then get abused by her next boyfriend/spouse. (It's almost like we pick them out without knowing).

Bless you kind soul!

I was sending thousands overseas until I told her with these tough times (she's not doing much around the house at all or working or learning to get to any goals) that she needs to get a job to continue sending money home. It's not fair I'm the only one working and taking care of everyone plus all the domestic work. I thought that would set her straight but so far she's just playing computer games all day. At least if no money goes overseas, it's not on my head anymore.

I got the open satellite stations. They're from Laos and Thailand. I watch it for the Russia Today news and Al Jazeera. She watches some of the stuff but after being here for a while, the quality and content of programming is very different (I'll just say that) so she doesn't watch much of the Thai stuff. It's all the same, anyway, some colored shirt did something to another colored shirt blah blah king blah blah overthrow, riot, etc. Nothing new in 40+ years in Thailand.

We're stuck for the past year trying to get through the driver's license handbook so she can take driving classes (driving school won't let her attend without a US learner's permit). She was driving on the international license but almost killed us 2 times in 2 days then wrecked my car into the house. I've got only one car so that's it for driving-I'm glad it still drives!

I don't see any motivation (just plays poker on the computer all day) so I think she'll be at home doing the same thing 5 years from now ( bought CD's books, learn English everything but they're gathering dust.

I'm so lucky!

Regarding being financially on the hook; I don't want that.

Her neighbors have a history of ridiculing them right out in the street taunting them calling them losers (and it will get worse upon her return). Ego is king in Thailand and it's the least desirable trait in my culture. I believe she loved what I did (or would love anyone who got her out of her situation) but I do not believe she loves me for me. I got a proposal from a married woman in front of her husband (she wasn't kidding) to get her out and marry her; it is hell over there. Unfortunately she's discriminated against in her own country (I've seen it and it reminded me of stories in the USA in the 1920's). That part I feel sad about and that part is what had me clinging to the hope that maybe a change of environment could enable her to bloom into the person she was meant to be.

Her opportunities are slim, as education was not an option due to economics and fragmented family when she was young (not to mention politics where the elite say these darkies shouldn't have the right to own land or businesses for being so stupid). On top of that, I don't believe she had any affection while young so has no idea how to handle it, doesn't like it and likely was brought up more street smart forgetting that if a genuine soul came around who cared about her, she's programmed to get what she can and disbelieve or disregard affection. It's time to stop worrying about ego, status and saving face and start trying to be happy. Everything she wants has to do with status (white baby, house bigger than neighbors who taunt her family, etc). It's a horrible cycle and it makes that culture very undesirable. I had to paddlock my suitcase visiting her family; they steal from each other and happiness (true happiness) seems far away from her village.

So she's here not sleeping on a wood floor with a garden the neighbors didn't rob clean (you can't grow food in her village), all the food, hot water, air conditioning, wash machine and a flushable toilet. I don't blame her not wanting to leave. I just don't understand how someone could blow it. She knows Mr Scotland doesn't want her.

My dogs eat better than her entire family, so it's not easy. This is why I've been having difficulty because on one hand is it fair? What's the right thing to do? As far as she knows, I've got a ticket Aug 30. She's been crying day and night; sobbing constantly.

She hugged me on my way out to work, told me she loves me so much. I reminded her she doesn't like affection and hadn't said she loved me in 6 months.

Watch out for homesickness. Ann works in biotech and had traveled all over the world before she met me, so she had a lot of experience with other cultures. Her personality is not very "Thai" in terms of most things. She's not especially religious. She didn't live with her parents. But even then, she was very homesick for a few months. I have even seen cases in which things didn't work out because of it, so be careful.

Quite true especialy if they're from the city. There aren't 10 people right outside your door on any given day to talk to so living in the suburbs can be isolating to them. Major culture shock with values (people don't really care what others think here where it's all the rage over there). No such thing as rushing a Thai wife out the door to go somewhere like an American one.

We do have a garden I preplanted her foods in; that was one of the best things I've done. We have at least 200 basil plants and 30 hot pepper plants

This is a long post (I'm working nights so I've got time).

Met her 3 years ago in Thailand

She broke up with a boyfriend from Scotland of 5 years about 6 months earlier. We were to get engaged but during our courtship she kept contacting this old boyfriend and I put a stop to it because of how it would affect our relationship (otherwise I wouldn't have minded). He dumped her but I suspect she's not over him.

I told her she must make a choice but doubt her heart is with me. I open a fake email account and flirt with her telling her "bob" needs a special friend, etc and she's receptive because "bob" offers her money (more than I had). I confront her regarding poor integrity, she says she was joking and knew it was me, all the BS we hear that I didn't learn from at the time. I tell her she needs to decide and stick with it or be done with us (by then I'm invested in many ways to the relationship). A few months later (against her mother's advice) she met with her ex when he visited and was an A$$ to me all that week. I contacted him and he seems like a decent guy but she's not his type (he said simple and unmotivated) and has moved on with his women of Bangkok. He didn't trust her either but she never cheated on him (he had a private investigatior tail her; I told him he was crayzy- pot calling the kettle black)!

I broke off the engagement once I found they met; she deleted her email account, got a new phone and phone number, we got re-engaged (I told her she had to make a permanent choice), said all the right things. Her ex said she's not a cheater so I'm confused. She promised no more thought that's that and she's over him. Months pass, she comes to the US, we get married, 3 months later she's an A$$ to me and I find he's got her new email address, look in her phone and he's got her new phone number. Again, more crying promises not to do it again but she's already here. A few months goes by and it happens again; promises not to do it, we have problems...this pattern repeats itself every 3 months. Last week she blows up in front of my kids (I knew they communicated). I find out 3 days ago and she's devastated because I've had it and told her we're done, removed my ring for the first time. I told her she's devastated only because I found out and being the opportunist she is, I think she'd cheat on me given the chance if she thought the grass was greener with another guy.

I'm tired of this opportunistic BS and am prepared to send her back. She's got her 2 year GC but I don't want to be responsible for her for 40 quarters (10 years) so sending her back then divorcing seems the cleanest way to get her out. She lead on she can use the internet, knows how to drive, etc and it turns out she lacks the will to do any real hard work to become educated, employed, drive etc. (maybe she's learning disabled) always looking for the easy way out. I told her to learn all the words (how to read them) on all the applicances and stuff in the house and any signs on the road where we drive for a start but she never asks "what does that word say" and still doesn't know any (she needs a license to get to school but I don't think she's got what it takes to get a high school GED or pass the driver's test now). She doesn't know hardly any words, doesn't take interest in road signs or learning her surroundings. I bought CD's but she doesn't use them; just plays poker. I taught her to start surfing the internet (no one taught me how to use the computer) and to teach herself (many in Bangkok are self taught English speakers by books and copying TV accents) but she only plays poker and wants some great job, a car and a license.

The past 2 days she's crying, asking me if I can do the papers so she can stay (after leaving me) and she found a job staying at some restaurant and rooming upstairs about an hour away from me. I told her she came to the US to marry me and she's not on a "Use a husband then leave him because the grass might be greener" visa. I told her she's got a long enough pattern and has nothing to offer our relationship except requests for money for her family and doesn't really contribute to "us" like what other Thai couples we've met here. I told her good times or bad but when I'm having a rough week at work or we're not seeing the countryside on vacation and are and down to every day routines, she gets bored and will likely look for more exciting pastures (no such thing for good or worse, rich or poor IMHO).

I give her family an ATM; load it with only what they need per month (for mom for medicine and food). I was prepared to send 2 family members through college to get rid of their impoverishment problem for good (I don't pay tithe to a church so this was my do-good) but I won't send stupid money or build a house or give free charity money unless the money I send will make them money or give all of them a leg up if it can lead to something permanent (education, business, etc). I made it clear one shady Niece wasn't to touch the ATM card and never write down the password; that I'd call them at the ATM each month (mom can't read). I stopped changing the password, thought they memorized it, months go by and we get a call saying mom never got money for past 2 months. I look at W/D pattern and it's the same ($10 this bank, $20 second bank, 50's at the third till it was gone; nothing changed but someone stole it?) I knew they still had it. They claim someone e-copied the card and stole the money (I knew better) then they said someone physically stole the card, they called the police (no police report when I asked tp fax it to me) and to send more money. I told them if someone stole the card, why didn't they drain the $300 in there? Since the bad niece had the card (I told them clearly she wasn't to have it) and obviously stole money out of it; they needed to beat the money out of the niece if they want it. I told them "oh well, no more money since the card is gone; I'm canceling it". The card mysteriously shows up (I predicted this before it happened)...the thief "slipped it back under the door." The family has to go along with the niece's theft lie because they know I won't send more if I discover family steals from family regularly over there. My wife goes along (what choice does she have) despite saying earlier she knew what happened (it's called smooth it over to save face). I ask how the thief knew the password? She supposedly had it in a bag with the password written down-another thing I said to never do. I told them if this was their ATM, they'd never be so reckless with their hard earned money (not that I believe their story) and since they're not careful with my money I work hard for, then why should I keep sending money to a bunch of reckless people who did 3 things I specifically told them not to? Since no more money is going over, my wife is looking for a job (and likely greener pastures; I could have predicted this), starts contacting her ex and calling friends. She's an opportunist, in my mind.

Culturally (someone mentioned here) Asians have different rules they play by and I know I broke one of their "good husband" rules by not sending money. (over there, money IS love) They don't bother to think Lying and taking others for granted are my rules and we don't tolerate it like they do.

So I'm tired of all the BS

I told her she came here to marry me and it appears I'm being used and she has nothing to offer us or society here; she blows up too much usually due to her lack of hard work to learn the language but wants all the material benefits others have who work hard. That's not my style and I got my credentials by hard work and hard studying; paid my own way with no one's help. She has that opportunity and is showing me over and over she wants to blow it. I see her village culture one that has no problem stealing money from family members and killing the gold egg laying chicken to eat it. I told her I'm beginning to believe poor people make poor decisions regardless of what's put before them and it's a lost cause. She knew contacting this ex or anyone would mess up our marriage with increasingly negative consequences but they seem to fail to see past short term and never consider consequences. Never. I told her "of course continuing would end up with divorce; what else would you think" (bite the hand that feeds them stories are common over there). I told her she's only sad because I found out (not that she did it and how it affected us) and have had it with her antics.

So I'm considering sending her back. Meanwhile I did get a nuptial agreement signed when times were better because I'm not giving my hard earned meager nest egg to someone just because they marry me for a short time. I've got kids and need to think about my future and theirs. I see her as a money pit with little promise and little contribution coming from likely a long line of opportunists. She played on well early on but once she got here, she's been like a dirty wild animal that cannot be cultured to even low-middle class standards (throwing trash on the floor in the house, leaving food out to rot, staying home but doing nothing but playing gpoker games and looking for a better opportunity). I'm not a neat freak by any means but dirty is different than messy and I always have to contribute to the place I'm in even when I have no gain. It's like I have another kid I have to clean up after; a burden.

So...tonight she's asking for ways I can continue to sponsor her to stay here if she leaves me. I told her the system has a 2 year checkup to weed out the opportunists from the genuine couples and I didn't see her making much of a genuine effort but just appearances and words but her actions suck (Thais from her village seem to be self serving, superficial and ego driven IMHO).

So, she's begging me for another chance; she won't do it again and I told her 5 times ago she should have considered that and she's likely cheat on me in a second given the chance. I have no issue contacting and ex but if she's got to lie and sneak and be nasty for that entire week, then there's more than the eye can see.

I'm confused. I love her, I feel sorry for her and sending her back to her home with no job opportunities and horrible working conditions seems cruel but on the other hand I told her she came here to get married and stay married for at least 2 years and I guarantee after 2 years she'd be gone so why is it fair to use me and the system when for real she's not a good wife or good anything? She's begging to stay, crying, clawing, begging and I told her this is not her country; she's lived in Thailand all her life, it should be no problem going home. She's not doing what it takes to survive here and would likely be using social services so I cannot have that on my dime with my sponsorship contract and it's better she goes home and looks for another opportunity leeching off someone else. She's begging and pleading and I told her she should have thought of that each promise she's broken and while not doing squat the many other chances she's blown with me alone. It's amazing.

I asked her a few months ago if she really thought our marriage was fair and gave "50:50" (she used that term a lot early on) and she admitted the situation was not fair to me or my kids. At least she knows she's an awful wife (cooks for herself only, I go out and buy food for work or make my own lunch but she's a stay at home wife for now-she does keep the dogs company and that's it.

She and her family should have thought of biting the hand that's helping them (I told them come clean with the lie but saving face for them is more important, so tough). I don't like the stealing money expecting me to believe their poorly concocted stories, not contributing to a relationship being more "takers" than givers. I told her likely her family has learned centuries of poor decisions and one cannot break that cycle in a matter of a year or two, although I believed different not so long ago (I had to chain and paddlock my belongings every visit to her family home because someone would and has stolen my stuff)! "poor people make poor decisions" I wish it weren't true.

I don't want to be some controlling money machine; I just want a decent wife, would be so happy if I sent money that opened a family business and they'd be out of my hair moneywise. Her ex BF sent them quite a bit of money to open a business and they gave all the products away to the beggers completely blowing the business idea (poor people make poor decisions). I can count the opportunities that have pissed away so what am I doing?

I'm hurt, confused and stupid. The visa process takes on a life of its own and little red flags are often overlooked as the discussion and energy is focused entirely on the visa process till they get here. This, in my opinion is how things go bad after they come here; the spouse stops tolerating BS and stops being blind once the focus is on them. Call me stupid, judge me all you want but this is my situation. I'm just a normal lonely guy looking for a nice spouse and mutual contribution to the marriage; not older, not younger, not some sexpot but just a normal boring every day working couple that goes on fun vacations and has fun gardening at home and getting out an about traveling.

I send her back, she'd be in a living HeII because that's pretty much what her country has to offer her, given her class and Thai prejudices. If she stays here, I don't want any liability whatsoever. I don't think I can get her to stop looking for greener pastures. I'm frustrated, hurt and don't know what to do.

On the other side: She's never cheated, so is it worth ending it now or what makes sense?

I'm surprised no one has mentioned it here. If you're from the USA, use SCHWAB bank. I signed up online, never set foot inside a building. It's one of the FEW banks that doesn't rip you off for the exchange rate AND they REFUND 100% of ATM fees (even if those fees aren't theirs). Schwab has NO FEES for anything. Period.

I sent a debit card to Thailand and load that account with only what I want them to take out abroad (in law family). Of course they try to take more out (it's a dedicated Thailand withdrawal account so they can't touch my real money). Schwab didn't set any limitations so I keep that account balance zero and use it only to send money abroad.

It sure beats carrying $9,999 in a pouch like I did before (I used to dress down in old cutoff shorts and sandals so I didn't look like I had any money when I'd carry my 10k over there for business).

Upon my return, I'd typically get $35-$100 back in ATM fees from my bank at the end of the month.

The idiots at all the other banks I've tried not only bang you with ATM fees PLUS the Thailand ATM fees but they also rip you off of the live FOREX rate so they get you coming and going. I'd bring any money back in gold and disguise it with gold plated trinkets (gold is the best way to move money, really).

Thank you all for your replies. I assumed that's what it meant but that question was immediately after asking my name and a few blanks about me then the next was the former spouse thingy so it was confuzzing.

I filled it out that question for her (not me) assuming so.

THanks and bestest wishes to you allllll!

G-325A

It states "former husbands or wives"

Now is that for the petitioner or the sponsor? It doesn't say WHO that question is referring to. I've searched the internet and VJ but it doesn't specify...

Thanks!

snow? did you do something to anger the gods?

made up words, just sayin

angels

satan or demon

There's nothing illegal about http://www.watch-movies-links.net/ that I can see