Jamie Lee

First of all, giving_up, please know that I repeated that prayer for you as well. I work in a child specific emergency dept, and I have seen many children in situations of life long abuse. You and your baby need to get out and to a safe place. I know you don't feel that you are strong enough, but you have to be. I have seen mothers sit back and do nothing when their child starts to be abused, and later they are found at fault as well, even if they themselves are abused. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get to a safe place. I have seen so much of this in families, and it is very real, and very dangerous. I have seen children taken from both parents, one of them the abuser, the other the one who did nothing to stop it (which could be you one day). It is very well known that those that abuse, were abused themselves. Your husband is a person that needs INTENSE counceling, and he isn't willing to do that. I myself have been emotionally abused by a previous boyfriend, and I know how they can make you feel... like this is all your fault and you don't deserve happiness....you need to get past that stage, and look at your baby. Your baby is your number one priority, think of it that way, you can't let your children grow up in an abusive home. Get yourself a good lawyer, and I know there are safe havens for women of abused relationships. When I was in college for my degree, I had a rotation through one of these places, and the one thing I remember from that rotation, those women were beaten down and emotionally lost, but they got out. Please know that you and your baby need to be safe (if I haven't said that enough already).

Here is a website for you to check out

http://www.giftfromwithin.org/html/spousal.html

Vanessa&Tony: This day in age, you should be well aware that people are severly abused in more ways than one. You have now added to this womans abuse. Think of a child that has been bullied for years, and finally stands up to their bully...they get up enough guts to stand up for themselves and fight back. Please don't make this into a 'it's all your own fault' instance. Say that to a woman that has been raped, do you contend that they asked for or deserver it? I suggest you read this website that I posted.

We all need to stand up to violence in the home, it is not acceptable, and people and children do die from it....I unfortunatly have seen that first hand and words can not describe the severity of this situation, and the turmoil that it creats.

giving_up: your are in my prayers.

I'm just wondering if anyone knows what the requirements for unemployment are for someone in the AOS process and waiting for the Green Card interview?

My husband entered on the K1 and has a work permit, but no job yet. So he has been looking and has had an interview, but no biters yet. Does anyone know if he can claim unemployment?

Ours was posted in 6 weeks to the day, but we went down to the East LA office and picked it up. It will depend on when your officiant sent it in, but usually they will tell you to not even show up before 6 weeks.

SERIOUSLY EVERYONE! This Guy has a reasonable concern, and we shouldn't knock him for it.

This thing that all of us are doing or have done is not in the eyes of the world "normal". It is a highly stressful, emotionally consuming, life altering change we make, and we are happy to be with our loved one. After years of working toward something, I think people need a little time to come down off the high and craziness that is planning a life with someone that we've actually NEVER lived with for longer than a month or so at a time. Every time we meet our spouses while apart, we are on vacation, or a least so FRICKIN excited that we are with each other, we don't really realize what real life with them will be like. You have to remember that once you are married, you vow to work out these problems. Planning a wedding from another country is hard and changing your whole life is a really big deal. I can understand where she's coming from. You need to reboot your body and recollect your thoughts, and get back to real life...something neither of you had for a long time. It will get better, and you need to understand that this is a crazy time for her, and that is probably the last thing on her mind right now.

So please talk to her about it. You have had to learn to communicate with each other over thousands of miles, now sit in the same room and talk about it face to face. Nothing will get resolved unless you work at it. Dating is fun, Marriage is work, work we love.

My grandparents and their siblings were all married over 50 years, through the Great Depression and WW2, you think they didn't have problems? But you make a commitment to be married to your other half, you work it out.

Good luck to you, and don't listen to all the jerks that make you feel bad for your situation.

We should all have a little understanding and be helpful, that is what this site is for.

My Robin got his K1 Visa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe it! It took two days after his interview.

Good Luck to everyone in the waiting process! The Process took us, in total, 8 months from time of filing, to visa approval.

I go get my man in a week and a half!

yeah, this happened to us too. we received one on 11/12 and 11/13. it said the exact same thing. but they did send it to the embassy by the next week.

sorry this is taking so long for you.

Yes people have done it, but no one here is going to recommend it to you. You've already indicated an intent to stay after entering on VWP. Better to come here and get married and then return to your country and file a K3. Or file a K1 and wait for the visa. Maybe I'm just leery of doing anything that might result in removal or ban....

I agree. My Fiance and I had that option, but chose to be slightly more patient and go the K1 route. It gave us time to plan, and think very clearly about what we were doing. I don't know how long you have been dating, but I'm thinking, that if it's forever for you two, then what's the harm in waiting? If you are on time with all your papers, you guys could have all this taken care of in 7 months.

I say, be patient, and do things the right and legal way. I would hate to hear that you risked it, and the outcome was not a good one.

Hello, I had a question about the EAD process. Does anyone know if while waiting for your work permit to come through, you can actually work? My Fiance is coming over next year on a K-1 visa, and was wanting to wait until after we are married to apply for a work permit. We are wondering if while in the process of waiting for the paperwork to come through, you have to wait to start working or if there is any chance that an employer would allow you to work on a limited basis while waiting for the papers?

Please help, we are hoping he doesn't have to wait the expected 90 day process. It wouldn't change much in the grand scheme of things, but it would put our minds at ease a bit

Jamie

My fiance and I got our RFE on the 7th of October. After reading through some of the posts relating to RFE's, my nerves are settled. I was worried that it was something bad, I didn't realize it was part of the normal process. It seems like things pick up after people send in the RFE. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers that our petition will be approved before our wedding in April.

ahhh cool, Pasadena Vito took me there in april its not that much further from where we will be living in driving terms. bloody hot that day though. i thought i would pass out. but enjoyed watching the blokes walking past a sports car outside a cafe and almost trip up cos they wernt looking where they were going.

that and irony of mills street given one of your reported summer resedents lol.

once yuo get your rfe to them they dont seem to take much longer to finish it at the moment it seems which is good. welcome to the group.

Okay, so i sent off our REF stuff on the 23rd of October. I really hope they don't have any problems, and that we can move forward.

Yeah, I love Pasadena. I grew up here. It really does get hot here, but on the dry heat days, the mountains are AMAZING.

Crossing our fingers!!!

My fiance and I got our RFE on the 7th of October. After reading through some of the posts relating to RFE's, my nerves are settled. I was worried that it was something bad, I didn't realize it was part of the normal process. It seems like things pick up after people send in the RFE. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers that our petition will be approved before our wedding in April.

Hello everyone! I'm excited to be on the site. It's so nice to have people to talk to about this kind of thing.

I did the same "see attached sheet". I explained how we met, when, where, how we got together, and long distance travel back and forth to visit. It was probably only a paragraph. They accepted it, cause we got our first NOA a little more than a week later.

good luck with everything.

j

this is the first time i'm relying to a thread here. i read your post and it made me so look forward to having my fiance here. how did you guys decide to live in the states?

I know that once the K1 visa goes through, my fiance can't leave the US until after the Green Card comes through. Does this include US Territories like Puerto Rico, or the US Virgin Islands?