ziia

Also, are the tax transcripts enough? Do i need to send W2's as well?

Hello. I am completing the form N400. I know the month and year i started working at most my previous jobs, but i don't know the exact date. I guess i can look up at my pay stubs, but I'm afraid i have misplaced some of them. Do i need the exact date when i started working in all my jobs or can an approximation do?

Also, i had two jobs I've only stayed in for a couple of weeks. Can't remember the time i had those jobs. Should i declare them on N400?

Can i approximate the date i traveled to Canada? Went there with my bike(didn't have a plane ticket) and never received any stamp on my passport(leaving or entering back to US). Leaving, the officer just looked at my passport, entering US, my GC was slided through their scanning system. Can i just write the month and year and approximate the day?

Pls a quick response would be appreciate it. I have to send my N400 in a couple of days.

thx

"I just arrived here in the US. We are not married yet but right now, I don't know if I would still want to go through this. I met all his family and they seemed to be warm and I love them. The problem is I caught my fiance having account in a paid porno chat site and when I checked it using his log in details, he even have some credits left, it was only .0322+ so it meant he really used up all the credits on it till there were a few loose dollars left .

There was one time he left the pc open and all his emails was in full view. I don't know what came over me, I know I don't have any business snooping and checking but I did and I don't know now if I am grateful I did because I found out sooner or to be really really sad because this has cast a negative light on what was supposed to be a new and enjoyable life together.

While checking his emails, I also read some letters from his co-workers saying how he/she misses him. I don't know if it was a girl or not because there was only an email address on display. He replied the email but he deleted his reply in the sent folder so I don't know what was it. I also found two emails he sent to two different girls and the emails was full of lewd contents. Sad thing is, those email exchanges just a month before my arrival here which means he's been actively flirting (probably with co-worker) or sex cyberchattin with others even though I am about to come here. "

You girls might want to re-read the poster's main message. She doesn't state she has a problem with her fiancee's porn watching, but porn paying and girl flirting....

This is my own point of view so please don't take it as a rule. I think it is one thing to look at free porn clips and vids in the absence of a woman arround, to satisfy the loenliness and urges of moment but it is a whole different story to pay a monthly fee and have access to loads of porn 24/7. This girl might be dealing with more than just a hunch or doubt. Let's be honest here, most people watch porn, even buy a DVD once in a while, but only a certain type of people(tose with a problem) give their CC to an unsecure porn web site and expose themselves to all kinds of risks(like stolen identity, fraud etc.) . What she has to think of right now before she makes a decision about her future with him and movinf forward and marring him is the backgrownd in how she met this guy, how their relationship started and what sustained their long distance connection. Was it mainly ciber sex sprinkled with sweet words and promisses of hot times together or was it more that? Were there mainly serious discussions about their relationship and their future or the sex part was dominant between them?

He might have a problem or he might not. The key is to talk to him and be as calm and gentle as possible, relaxed and if you can, as layed back as possible. If you want the truth, you have to be willing to hear the truth, so act like wise. Also, explain to him what bothers you and how you want the relationship between you to move along, so he knows better what you want and what you are about. Please it is very important you keep an open mind and give him the benefit of the doubt, without overlooking the big picture, your instinct. It is so important your instinct. Listen to it. As far as the email goes, i wouldn't put too much on it. A lot of people say they miss eachother but very few actualy mean it, so don't worry unless you see very often emails from that address.

This is my 2 cents. My personal imput, so pls don't gudge me too hard if i sounded untrusting or doubtfull too.

I am glad my experience helped a bit. Sadwoman, you are not alone, no matter how lonely you feel sometimes. Always, remember that.

I think it's realy great to want to help someone, but if you need help in order to help, then you can't realy help too much. Have her write, if she's got access to a computer, she can explain a lot more about what she's dealing with and she can get the answears she needs directly and ask questions herself. I think your heart is in the right place, but think twice of the situations you're getting yourself into. If she wants to stay here and make it, she has to lern how to get help first. Friends are for moral support, encouragement and gudance. Recomend she gats on this site.

Hello. I would like to be able to help you a bit sharing a bit about my adjustment here.

My fisrt two or so years here, i was a wreck. I didn't know anybody from my country, had little experience in how to find jobs, friends, things to do. Though i landed in a big city like Chicago with plenty of stuff to get my mind out of the "dark box" in my head, i still couldn't adjust to the culture. People wanted to be friends with me and i tried too, but the second i was calling them and they wouldn't get back to me in days and a week later were calling and acting as if nothing was wrong and we're best friends, i was thrown out of the loop, confuzed as hell, since at home i used to keep in touch with friends every day, several times a day actualy.

What made it wrse was the fact that i look ok and many people(too many) wanted to be friends in order to hit on me. I grew a sour taste regarding men here who are only out for fun and wemen who drinked too much. In fact every time i wanted to hang out with someone it had to involve some shopping of some sort. And if it wasn't shopping, it was consumming(alcohol). I grew up in a country where i new no such a thing as show your ID to buy a beer, and yet me and lots of people from my country didn't enjoy drinking all that much. A pepsi or cola, some jokes and a walk arround the park or just sitting down on an alley and talking about life, was fun. So i suddenly found myself in a clture where drinking a lot, smoking and shopping, or scheduling a time to meet people was a prety common style of living, accepted and embraced all arround. Sometimes i had to control myself i what i was saying because i found people giving weired looks and saying i think too much and too deep. So i had to make some changes. It was becoming heartbreaking hard for me to keep living here without beeing completly miserable.

First, what i thought might help...i changed my thinking all together. I became fun to be arround. Fun person to take shopping and afterwards drink something. And you know what? Sometimes, late at night, when putting my head down to sleep, i was crying. I wondered why that was. I mean, i had friends, by that time i had a job, i had things, so financialy and emotionaly i shouldn't have had any reason. I thought that was something realy wrong with me, possibly loosing my mind or something:). So i went to see a psychologist. I gotta tell ya, i was out that door the moment she said i need to take pills because i am depressed. Didn't pay her eyghter. She barely listened and she was ready to prescribe me a punch full of pills. I mean, i was screwed. That moment i thought not even friends i gotta pay, can't help me. I had one option: to go back to my country. And i was ready for it! Packed and all...i mean i was severly unhappy. Thought i was missing my familly. Sad to admit, i'm a grown up, and never was a cry baby or mommy's girl.

Before living though, i had the luck to find something that changed my life forever, in the best way possible. I found this movie, in fact a documentary and watching it one night, a light bulb came into my head. I was unhappy because i was not myself. Along the jurney and effort put into beeing liked here, integrating in this culture, i have lost who i was and what i stood for. I found that happiness does not come through others, places we are or people we meet. It comes from inside out. First you have to be content with yourself and then you will spred that energy arround and others will roam arround you, feeding on the goodness that's within you, exposed to be shared with people. Sadwoman, i have to tell you how important it is to be yourself and not change no matter where you are. To know your boundries, your limits and hang on to them like it was no tomorrow. Indeed, in order to be happy in a country where competition to be someone is not that fierce, is a hard but doable thing. And it starts with you, it prolongs to your husband and then to others. You ahve to have a huge personality and know who you are and what you are about. And then, all you have to do is spread the word to the others. Pills don't help. Don't do it(not unless you have a desease that shows in a medical photo)...Everything else can be fixed. Like NickD said, fresh air, beeig arround nature and keeping yourself busy and very important things to feel better. A job will give you the feeling that you can stand on your own feet, so do that. That gives you more confidence than anything. I mean, if you find something not right in your life, you need to have at least one thing you can depend on and that is the job. Man can cheat(god forbid), woman can cheat(god forbid to that too), but what you have in your wallet is no lie.

Another thing that helped me was accepting the fact that i am a regular joe, just like everybody else. You know, in your country as well as in mine, people pay attention to other...what they wear, what they do, etc. So we kind of feel a bit important. Well, here they don't care. If you take care of you, let that be done for you, not for others to admire. Once you admire yourself, others will notice too. Keep beeing a sexy woman. That never goes away. A clean cut, elegant woman who shows she loves herself and cares about how she presents herself is more important than you think. Even if people don't notice...once YOU notice, others will too. So do everything for yourself and live your life as if the camera was set on you and walk down the street and smile as if a big director was making a movie about you and your glamorous life. Admire yourself, smile and you will see how much better you will feel. Switch the attention from your husband on to you and then project the goodness in you over your relationship.

We are very lucky. Unfortunately it took me a few years to find out just how lucky i am. A fast good move to feel better would be, fisrt get a job and second feel good(concentrate on what you ahve arround and not what you don't have). There is a saying i keep telling myself whenever i am depressed or upset, a wise man said it- "where attention goes, energy flows".

Hope this helps a bit

I am not 100% sure but you might be able to change your name back in the court, at the time when the divorce will be pronunced. Ask the judge or if you'll have a mediator, you can ask him/her. If you don't participate at the divorce, you can probly change the also by bringing your birth certificate, marriage license and divorce paprers when it's time to change your documents(driver license, passport, etc.). Best of luck, i admire you and your dignity and currage

I recently got my 10 years greencard. Now my problem is this, me and my husband been married for more than 2 years already but since i been here in the US, my husband has some kind of temper problem. I do love him so much but i guess he is abusive but i really dont know because he always tells me his not abusive. Is it normal that a husband will call his wife different kinds of names such as a #######, a ######...etc...whenever you are fighting? He always calls me different names whenever his mad, he also gets mad when i just cry instead of saying something while he runs his mouth and yells at me. When i make a simple mistake or say some thing that he dont like, it starts the whole fight. i know i can speak english a little better but the fact is im not american, im an asian and i dont expect my english to be perfect but then sometimes on a conversation, i have hard time to explain to him something then he gets mad at me. He also don't give me any money, and since im not working i dont have a single penny on my purse. He do send money to my family overseas every now and then before like the biggest he sent was $90. and he always makes me feel guilty about that, that i should be grateful to him that he send money and he bring me here. he always makes me feel useless...he always blame me for everything. he always say he is always right. There was one time before he pull my hair because we was fighting and he wants to throw me out on the street. and i dont want to go out because i dont have family here, i have nowhere to go. So what he do is he grab my hair and pull it so i would go. he do it a couple of times but i stay in even if im hurt. because im scared to go anywhere outside. he let me sleep outside the house, like on the steps although he wake me up to come up upstairs to bed like 3 am in the morning. My family dont know whats going on with me here, i dont want them to worry about me so i pretend everything is ok. my husband always insult me, like saying i come from a third world country. that im a gold digger, but if i am why is it that i dont have a single penny on my purse? if i want to buy something, i have to ask him but if he dont like what i want to buy then i cant get it because i dont have my own money.he always tells me to leave him but he also always tells me that after i leave him he will call uscis and report me because its a fraud. I honestly dont know what to do, thats the only time he hurt me physically the pulling of my hair. but my problem is he hurts me verbally and emotionally and he thinks its not an abuse. he dont see calling me names, insulting me, yelling at me, screaming on my face, screaming at the top of his lungs so neighbors hear when he calls me a ####### , he dont see that as an abuse. I dont have a job, i dont have money, i have no family here, i feel so alone. My husband is the only man i trusted here but right now, i dont think i could still trust him. And i really dont know what to do. Please someone clear my mind up, am i in an abusive relationship or not? and if i am, will i be deported if i leave him because i feel like im going to die here soon because of all the hurtful things he do and say. Is it my fault that we are financially having a hard time because he has to pay all his money for the uscis process for me? am i being ungrateful because i feel he is abusive? dont i have the right to feel hurt and complain the way he treat me just because he pay everything for my papers? i still love him, thats actually one of the reason i dont have the courage to go away when he tells me to go out of his house coz he dont need me. He said he loves me too, when the fight is over but the thing is it happens over and again, whenever he is not in the mood or we argue, he do the same thing again, calling me names, yelling at me, insulting me and my country just because its a third world country. Its been almost 3 years now but he is still the same way. never change the way he treat me, never give me any money even just 5 bucks for an allowance. He always calls it, its his money, its his car, its his house. sometimes i feel like im just a trash to him. Why he never see he is abusing me verbally? are they going to revoke my greencard if we get divorce. he always tells me that he wants a divorce but he always say after we got our divorce he will make sure my ### got deported to my 3rd world country because of fraud. we been married for almost 3 years and hes the one who wanted the divorce. i dont want a divorce because i dont have a job and any money to start my life over. im scared to start my life over but i also can't take the way he treats me anymore. What should i do?

I am new here. I found this link on another forum as a recomandation to look for processing times concerning citizenship. reading thorough i found liz's post and thought i might help her in some way. An advice in her situation, a better understanding of what she has and needs to do from now on it is vital for her right now.

Liz, i am going to be as straight forward as possible. In situations like this you have to realise that the only thing that can help you is not the people, but the knowledge you gather from people, internet and other sourses. The most important thing is KNOWING what to do in situations like this and KNOWING your RIGHTS. As a green card holder you have RIGHTS. Learn your rights and use them. Whipe the tears and start the reaserch. The compassion you get here it will help you emotionaly but knowing what to do will save you.

1) No matter what your spouse sais he can not deport you or revoke your Green Card.

2) Do you have the bank accounts on both names? If you do, know that it is BOTH your money, no matter who has the job. You can take money out of the bank just as easy as him. You don't need to live out of his pitty. You are his wife and have equal rights to anything he has. If he decides to go crazy and spend them all, he spends them on cars, like you said. Well, car is possesion and possesion is parted in two at divorce. If he gets you in dept at divorce, you can pay after getting a job, two if you have to.

3) You will NOT pay allimony, girl, trust me:). He might have to pay you!

4) Next time he abuses you, CALL THE COPS!!!! It's a right you have and trust me, they don't joke arround in cases of domestic abuse.

5) I don't recomend the shelters. But that is my oppinion, other might say different but i wuld not recommend it UNLESS you've been there and saw with your own eyes what you find. You will be sorrounded by weak, misserable, poor, distressed, confuzed people that will be of no help(moraly) to you. You already are there, don't surround yourself with more of the same. You will fall in depression and desparation more than you are now. You need to find a job ASAP, and look for comunnities in your area where people from your country live. Look online, get in touch with people from your country, ask for help, look for a roomate, find a job and once you get these out of the way, pack your bags, get a restraing order and leave without lookinf back. Let him apply for divorce or do whatever the heck he wants.

6) $90 to your family- that's so cheap! Com'on...you can't seariously say you are thankful for that kind of crums. That is an offense to you and your familly, no matter what country you come from or how poor it is.

7) You love him or you are scared of what's out there and he is the only thing you know? Most times we tend to think that, the bad that we know is better than the good we don't know. We are beeings of habbit. Changes scare us. Dump the fear, test the watters, people you will find outside your marriage are much much better than your husband. Don't be affraid! Please! Think of you, your life, your happyness.

8) Stand up for yourself. That will take him by surprise. Knowing your rights can be a shell against his violence. He thinks your week. Show him you're not! Pick up the phone and call for help. Call the cops, call his parents, tell the neighbours, let the world now! The more you come out the more you will protect yourself from scums like your spouse. He has no right to treat you this way.

You can also look for a job as a nanny. A lot of famillies need live in nannies, they pay you, they feed you, you work for them and live with them.

There are many ways out. Don't stay in this situation no more. Prepare youself with knowledge and reseaerch girl, reaserch. Use the internet, google your questiins, google your rights, google abuse, google friends from your country, google roomates, google jobs, google something, anything! And GET OUT before it gets worse.