WonTanNara

Oh yeah.... and sand up my butt? No problem hahahaha... I'm a beach baby too! B)

Gambia is nice this time of year. Since you have been to Africa, I guess I don't have to explain what nice is. Obviously your use to the sand everywhere. hahaha.

Anyway, I would suggest that you go to a place called Sun Downers in Kotu. It is owned by an older British couple name Mick and Janice.

They have a BEAUTIFUL compound that is VERY clean, has a lovely pool and is in a nice area with LOTS of restaurants and entertainment (atleast for Gambian standards, lol).

Here is the link: Sun Downers

http://www.sundownersgambianvillas.co.uk/ (in case you want to simply cut and paste or save the link.

Anyway, tell them that Khalidah sent you and they should give you a good discount. hahaha. Who knows if they will, but if you can haggle, you might get by. lol.

I have LOTS of peeps there if you go and need rides around no charge or if you get in a jam and need assistance.

I got international text message on my cell, so text me if your there and need assistance on something.

Leedah

NICE! Thank you so much! My fiance is supposed to be getting some information from his friend, ie where they are living and where the ballet is rehearsing. My French is terrible so I'm psyched Gambia is an English speaking country!

You got it Leedah! I loved reading your post. Don't ever forget those things he's done for you. Take good care of him when he comes here. Teach him what you know, and have patience with him because you know it will take some time for him to adapt. In time there will be balance, and you'll be taking care of each other.

Let me know if you need any help w/ the Dakar process.

Insh-Allah we will be reunited soon...

Can you imagine my German genes and his Sierra Leone genes We get pretty heated at times but thank God we apologize

to each other when wrong.

Yeah but German genes and Sierra Leone genes (and Irish genes and Guinean genes) make beautiful babies!

You are right Guinea is kinda unstable now I hope you have fun I will have plenty of pictures, I am still going I will be there for 1 month, make sure you be safe .

You too D, be safe. I wanna hear all about your trip when you come back!

Won tan nara.

Yay! I got my ticket today to go back and see my fiance! It's been a long five months...

I know I don't want to stay in N'Gor for a month, and we can't go back to Guinea because it's just too unstable right now. We were thinking about going to Saly Portutal but now we are thinking about going to Gambia.

Apparently my fiance has a Guinean friend who plays in a Guinean ballet in Gambia and they say it's really nice. Having a ballet would be good for both of us, he's a drummer and I'm a dancer. WOO HOO!

So, I've seen some sites that say I need a visa and some that say I don't (I am US citizen). I'm also pretty sure we'll be in Banjul and would love to find a little room with a clean bathroom to rent for the month I'll be there. Christmas on the beach...? Good places to eat....? Good markets....?

Leedah, any suggestions? Anybody else? Help!

LOL @ frickin' machine.

Don't worry. When he sees you coming home from work so exhausted, he will lay on the charm very thick. Dinner made, house clean, and waiting on you hand and foot.

Boaz

He'll probably be handing the baby off to me as I'm walkin' in the door! Hee hee... We were joking about that today actually. He says to me "That time I need to stay home and take my baby every day, you are man, and I am woman!" HA! I'm so happy he's confident enough in his manhood that he can joke like that, though... I don't know if I like being called the man!

Cultural hissy fits would best describe it.

Omoba you make me laugh!

We all have our hissy fits, I think the difference is that I find Africans to be much more open about their hissy fits. Nothin' to do with genes, it's just the way they are raised. We have hissy fits too but we usually b1tch to somebody else about it, no? I'm sitting here laughhing because it's one of the things I love about my fiance but at the same time drives me nuts. I love his Guinean fire and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Leedah, I'm really happy to hear your husband has a second interview and is not giving up. My fiance is feeling the same thing, all these people are getting visas and he's had to wait seven months for security clearance. It's tough on all of us. You can probably count on your husband having another hissy fit hee hee. He don't need no stinkin' meds. When he starts getting upset, just let him go with it. Let him say whatever he needs to say and just take it with a grain of salt. Sometimes that's tough to do. Believe me, I am very sensitive and it was no easy feat for me to let him rant and just smile and nod. When you have the time to sit down face to face and you're both in a really good mood, just ask him to try to be more aware of what he says to you because sometimes it hurts. I did that with my fiance and I can't believe the difference in him. My willingness to just let him rant and not give him ####### in return has in turn made him a lot more willing to watch what he says to me. We still have our hissy fits, but we've found ways to make each other laugh when it happens and it's usually over very quickly.

Bringing a spouse or fiance here is so hard for us, and it's even harder when they get here because we have to teach them so much. On the other hand, don't ever lose sight of how difficult this is for them, too. It's total culture shock. Add to that the typical gender issues; they feel like their manhood is compromised because we are the ones taking care of them. It's overwhelming, I'm sure.

I've said this before, patience is key... getting the visa is just the beginning.

From where I sit, I see it like this...

My fiance has spent most of his life just worrying about tomorrow. What am I going to eat tomorrow? Where am I going to sleep tomorrow? We Americans on the other hand, spend a lot of time planning for the far out future. So much so that I think many of us don't enjoy today as much as we could, myself included. Somewhere in between is ideal. My fiance cannot understand why I'm concerned that my savings is slowly dwindling while we are waiting for his visa, because all he is thinking about is his visa, and I've had to remind him if I hadn't been saving money the last few years I never would have been able to bring him here or help him eat while he's waiting to come here.

I think of these challenges as an opportunity for us to teach each other the good things that come from our different cultures. They live in the right now and in some ways that is a beautiful thing. We on the other hand do not completely rely on our children to feed us when we are old, and that is a beautiful thing too. When something like this comes up, I usually just ask him one simple question and give him some time to think about it. In other words, "What would happen to us right now if I had not been saving money for the last few years? Just take some time to think about it." It usually works and he'll come around. The delivery is also really important. Nobody likes to be nagged and I've found I really have to watch my tone when I start getting frustrated. We are slowly coming to a middle ground where he understands the need to plan for the future and I understand the need to enjoy each day as it comes. It's a process for sure and patience is key.

Waiting waiting waiting....

But, if we don't hear anything by the end of this week I'm buying a ticket to leave for Africa on Dec 17th. So, a little over five weeks and I'll see my love.

Me too WonTanNara...I'm planning on buying my ticket to Turkey next week from Dec. 20 - Jan. 4 (my entire winter break). So there is that to look forward to!

Yup I got my ticket and am going back Dec 16th. We are both praying we will be able to come home together, it will be 9 months of AP by that time. AH Insh-Allah we will come home together...

It depends. Tell us a little about you situation. Some of us here in the AP group have been waiting several months for security checks and some only have to wait a few weeks. Seems to depend on the embassy, the country, name of the person, and the wind these days.

Yes...especially the wind.

Uh huh, most definately the wind. Seven months and waiting waiting waiting...

It will come though... have patience.

Tammy I have chills all over my skin for you today. I am so very happy for you and your husband!

Good things come to those who wait.

Whatcha wanna bet it won't be like that if they are here ? Seriously though I appreciate the hospitality I received and I know it made you feel special.

They will be so overwhelmed when they get here that we will be waiting on them hand and foot. Face it ladies, the first few months are going to be rough! Almost like having a child, eh? My fiance and I joke about that. I said are you going to be a big baby when you get here? He'll laugh and say maybe! You gonna take care of me? Oh yes I sure will! The OT is "journey of patience and faith." So true! Honey, don't put anything metal in the microwave or you'll burn down the house, ok? What's a microwave? Hee hee... Hmmm.... he might know what one is, but every time I've been over there I've never even seen one. Anywhere. Now I'm curious and will have to ask him.

We were washing our laundry one day and I was complaining about having to wash by hand. I said I want my frickin' machine, my clothes don't get clean this way. Now every time we talk if I say I am doing laundry today he says (quite seriously) in your frickin' machine?

In time as they get over the culture shock, I think it will be more balanced but I absolutely am not counting on him to be waiting on me hand and foot when he gets here. It will be quite the other way around for a while.

Ah yeah Loveland, we spoke with him too.

I would trade with you on the security checks if you want my waiver It's his common name that's holding him up.

If the approval is pending the checks and you weren't told you will have a 2. in depth appointment then you got it made in the shade. B)

Yup, the embassy has specifically told me that he just needs to drop off his passport and then take his envelope. One half of me says the hard part is over, and the other half of me says the waiting is the hard part...

Good luck with your waiver Omoba!

Was he ever out of the country or does he have very common name WonTanNara ?

joining you in the %^&*$#$#@)&*(&^% !!! frustration

He was never out of Guinea before he left to go to Senegal for the medical and interview. He has a very common name. Actually, right after the interview we were not told why our case needed AP. The officer never asked to see all of the evidence I had of our relationship, so the next day we went back to the embassy to talk to somebody. I had to (politely) argue with the Senegalese woman at the window, insisting that I be allowed to speak to an American. She took my passport, disappeared for a few minutes, returned and asked me to come back at 2pm. I did and spoke with Loveland. He said, "I can't give you too much information about our processes, but I can tell you that your fiance's name is very common." Since I've been home I've had inquiries done through both of VT's senators and verified that everything is in order and approved, we're just waiting for the security clearance. He will not even need a second interview. My sweet drummer-man has absolutely no criminal record on file anywhere, so Insh-Allah, soon.

Good grief, that was with lightening speed and the fastest USCIS approval I have ever heard of in the 2 years on this board.

Did they have dynamite under their butts at that time ?

LOL! Dynamite....

Who knows.... but oh look at what good it did us. 11 months later we still don't have his visa! If only the DOS had dynamite under their butts and got our $#$%^&*^%&*%$^%$^&(*&(*)()(_)(*&^%$#@!@ security clearance done!

How are things going Leedah?

When I was reading your earlier posts about your husband procrastinating and not getting out to print the email you sent to him, my first thought was "Welcome to life with a West African!" My fiance and I now openly joke about "African time."

I don't know about Gambians, but I know from experience that some Guineans and Senegalese can say horrible stuff that they really do not mean when they are stressed out or angry. I've experienced it not only with my fiance but with several of my friends who are W. Africans.

When my fiance was doing all the work required on his end, it was incredibly overwhelming for him. He just snapped when he had to travel to Dakar and get his medical exam by himself. He at one point told me if I didn't get on a plane and come help him RIGHT NOW that he was putting all his clothes in his suitcase, going back to Guinea, and we were DONE. I was due to arrive in 3 weeks from that time for his interview. I was devastated! I immediately called my best friend whose husband is also Guinean and begged for their help. They called my fiance and 10 minutes later called me saying it was not serious. I did not hear from my fiance until the next day but he apologized and now we are closer than ever. I've learned to not take him seriously when he's tired or hungry, and he's learning to not say stuff he doesn't mean.

Leaving one's home for a far away land can be a really frightening experience! Add to that all the complications of immigration and it's enough to test any relationship. I try to remember that my fiance has made just as many sacrifices as I have during this journey.

Anyway, I really hope that your husband didn't mean it. Maybe he's feeling really overwhelmed and afraid too...? I wish you the best!

I should say this, I don't mean to generalize... there are plenty of Americans who say crappy stuff when they are mad too but I just find it to be so much more intense with the W. Africans in my life. That intensity of life is what drew me to Guinea and my fiance in first place!

How are things going Leedah?

When I was reading your earlier posts about your husband procrastinating and not getting out to print the email you sent to him, my first thought was "Welcome to life with a West African!" My fiance and I now openly joke about "African time."

I don't know about Gambians, but I know from experience that some Guineans and Senegalese can say horrible stuff that they really do not mean when they are stressed out or angry. I've experienced it not only with my fiance but with several of my friends who are W. Africans.

When my fiance was doing all the work required on his end, it was incredibly overwhelming for him. He just snapped when he had to travel to Dakar and get his medical exam by himself. He at one point told me if I didn't get on a plane and come help him RIGHT NOW that he was putting all his clothes in his suitcase, going back to Guinea, and we were DONE. I was due to arrive in 3 weeks from that time for his interview. I was devastated! I immediately called my best friend whose husband is also Guinean and begged for their help. They called my fiance and 10 minutes later called me saying it was not serious. I did not hear from my fiance until the next day but he apologized and now we are closer than ever. I've learned to not take him seriously when he's tired or hungry, and he's learning to not say stuff he doesn't mean.

Leaving one's home for a far away land can be a really frightening experience! Add to that all the complications of immigration and it's enough to test any relationship. I try to remember that my fiance has made just as many sacrifices as I have during this journey.

Anyway, I really hope that your husband didn't mean it. Maybe he's feeling really overwhelmed and afraid too...? I wish you the best!

I remember when I filed back in January a person at USCIS told me it could take me a year to get him here. I was absolutely devastated. Here we are, in the middle of November, and he's still not here. It's been hard but I know it will be so worth it.

In spite of that, I also think a K1 is faster because you do not have to wait for an immigrant visa number. Our petition was approved in six weeks from the date I sent it in and if he had not gotten stuck in security clearance then he would have had his visa inside of 4 months.

Good luck.

Waiting waiting waiting....

But, if we don't hear anything by the end of this week I'm buying a ticket to leave for Africa on Dec 17th. So, a little over five weeks and I'll see my love.

No I am serious! He told me he had every single shot they required--chest x-ray, blood tests, the whole nine yards. Even with his military service where I am sure he received most of these shots already. He had no records at all--such a pain. I told him--you better get a copy of that report so you have records from now on. Tanya from the Turkish group also told me her husband's exam cost $700.

The difference is probably because they do not require all the vaccinations for a fiance visa (K1). Julia, you and I will have more expenses after we're married and we apply for AOS/greencard. Once my fiance and I are married I'll have insurance for him. Hopefully you will too and it will pay for the additional required vaccinations.

I'm sorry that it took so long for me to respond. Yes, I heard that Saly is wonderful and beautiful...also quite pricey. They have their own market and you should enjoy it as long as you bring along some extra $$. Many blessings!

You are really on it Taurean! Great info. Hope all is well with you!

Yeah, I had to find that information right when I was thinking about or else I'd probably never get around to posting it. It's good that you mentioned the prices in Saly, Aisha. I stayed in the (ahem) lesser accomodations, so the price tag wasn't too high for me. But any place catering to tourists is going have a premium on everything. Still....I think it's a nice place to visit.

I am good! Thanks for asking. But how are you doing? I see you had a little time to post (that's a good thing).

Merci beaucoup!

Thank you emt103c , i am hoping , praying and counting on days i hope i will get visa next week if Allah is willing , i will let u know guys soon once visa is in my hands

Good luck Amin. You have been waiting a really long time and I hope you are reunited with your wife and babies very soon. Insh-Allah...

I'm thinking that Saly Portugal is the place near Mbour? I'll have to ask my husband who is snoozing away enjoying daylight savings time, but from what I remember, it is very touristy, but nice. You should enjoy it.

Yes I do think it's near Mbour. Any info you have would be much appreciated! Thanks!

Wow I couldn't watch all the videos cause I am at work but I am in awe of what I have seen. Absolutely beautiful! I was touched to see all the races/ethnicities come together and celebrate culture. Very touching.

Just for curiosity sake I checked to see if we have anything in our area - fully expecting not to find a thing but to my surprise there is a class in the town where I work. How cool is that. Maybe I will have to check it out.

WanTanNara I hope that the process is over for you soon. You sure have been waiting a while

Thanks for sharing. The dances and drums are a wonderful expression of the African culture

I'm happy to share Yardie. I would be a lifeless lump without my Guinean community here. I hope this AP is over soon, too. I know there are others that have been waiting a lot longer than me but it's still a challenge to get thru each day. One foot in front of the other...