Jack & Xuan

It is getting near that time of year and I wanted to send a card to my soon to be In-Laws (Mother and Father). Any suggestions of what may be ok for the card to say and more importantly what may be offensive if anything? And is there someone on here that can translate a phrase that I would write on each card?

Be yourself and write just like the way you would to your own. Personally, being a VNese, I know the "older" generations only give hard time with their own kind "in-laws". In other words, double standard.

You're another race, so whatever you do, they expect your behavior to be "acceptable". All they care is getting their daughter outta that place ASAP, aka getting the Green card.

Intresting. I was hoping to learn more about custom. I have never thought about Xuan or her family as "another kind". I have only thought of us as the same with only different customs. You are also the very first to point out that we are different "races". Guess I never thought about that either. You comment is very intresting to me, it appears that while I did not learn anything about custom from you comment, I have learned something about perception.

Thank you

It is getting near that time of year and I wanted to send a card to my soon to be In-Laws (Mother and Father). Any suggestions of what may be ok for the card to say and more importantly what may be offensive if anything? And is there someone on here that can translate a phrase that I would write on each card?

Well I just bought mine on impulse. Orbitz = $1019.00 Round trip . Leaving on Saturday, January 24th from Cleveland, OH arriving Monday January 26th (Tet) 11:30 pm. 2 days travel but what a deal. Leaving (if I chose to leave) March 24th.

I must be doing something wrong because when I try Orbitz from Indinapolis In. I get like $1500 or so. Does your price include the airport tax and fees?

I do not understand why this process has to be so hard. You do a back groud check on both people and if the American is willing to support the person and meets the minimum requirements that should be it. Then once a year on a random date a person from the government "inspects" to see that the couple are still married and living together or the American has a divorce decree and a reciept for the other persons trip back to where they came from. If not the American is taken to jail for 5 years, and the other person has a warrent out for their arrest and deprotation. That should stream line the process and deal with fraud.

There problem solved

Well I guess that shoots my theroy of the embassy not allowed to issue any more visa's this year.

Gratz to both of you.

A crtical factor in adjudication during the interview is entirely intangible: It's the human element. CO's to varying degrees of skill and accuracy are trained to spot dishonesty. It can be manifest in the documentary evidence or it could simply be the way the beneficiary answers questions. Not the content of the answers, rather how they are answered. These subtleties and nuances are usually not detected by most people most of the time (with the exception of those who are particularly intuitive). Of course the CO's judgement may be off, whether it's permitting a fraud through or denying an honest applicant, but isn't that what it all comes down to, the judgement of the CO? i.e. a human attempting to discern whether another human is in fact honest or not.

Yes I agree with you and I think that is the problem with this entire process. There should not even be an interview. The decision should be made on the evdicene alone OR if an interview is to be used, it should be both at the same time. I think more could be determined by the interaction between the two people then just the the one. After all, it is to determine if the relationship is true or false. If you are going to try to do that they I would think seeing the interaction between the two would be the way to go.

Just a few thoughts.

I am living with my Wife in HCMC right now. I've been here for a year now and I am registered by the police, and I also work in VN and pay their ridiculous taxes. My suggestion is try to find a job here in HCMC and use that as your proof of working to support the the both of you. You can also use the paper they give you when you get to Vietnam Customs, You fill out her address of where you are going to be staying at and they stamp it for you at the airport. The Cops do anything here when money talks, I don't believe that they will still hassle you when give them alot of money. They also let foreigners open bank Accounts at the HSBC bank in front of Diamond Plaza and Notre Dame Cathedral. You can also use that to put both of your money together to show shared funds. If you haven't already have the engagement party and take lots of pictures of you going around the tables drinking beer with her whole family, it gives her family a celebration of you guys being together since they probably won't be able to be at your wedding in America. Also you can register with the U.S. Citizen Services unit online and use that as proof of you being with your wife the whole time your in Vietnam. Here is the link: http://hochiminh.usconsulate.gov/registration.html

Hope this helps.

What do you mean when you say "I also work in VN and pay their ridiculous taxes"? What is the tax rate there compaired to here in the states?

Could all of the blue slips be that they are just not going to give out any more pink's for the rest of this year? Is there some kind of limit they have to work with?

you know... this is absolutely insane! We got a blue slip and I'm still working on all of my paperwork with a lawyer. But I have talked to a few people now that have been married or engaged from people of other countries. One guy that got engaged to a woman from Russia.... no problem at all. Anther from the Philippines... right through... and another person I talked to at church just got his fiance here from China... right though.

Why is Vietnam so different. Don't tell me fraud cause Russia also has a huge fraud rate. I doubt that contacting my congressman will do anything here in New Jersey (one of the most corrupt states in the union). I'm really sick of this B.S. I'm sure that the people that are ruining it for the honest ones get right through. This really is just assured. I see it often, people have the documents that they want.. but they don't want to see them and hand a blue slip. How Perfect do these frickin documents have to be.

sorry.... had to vent... its been a while

I am with you on everything you said.

Jack,

The cheapest airline tickets that I found was at a local Asian travel agency. They were cheaper than any of the sights I found online and they also handled my visa.

Best of luck

I have been looking at the air fair to HCMC and it is over $800 more then it was last year at this time. I was hoping someone has any suggestions or web sites that may be better then Kayak.com? Any thoughts other then get a second job?

Could you give me the name if this travel agency? Do they have a web site or maybe a phone number?

Thanks

I have been looking at the air fair to HCMC and it is over $800 more then it was last year at this time. I was hoping someone has any suggestions or web sites that may be better then Kayak.com? Any thoughts other then get a second job?

Include a through time line too. And try to make sure your photos show you in different clothes. If you are wearing the same clothes in all the photos they will think you only spent a short time on your visit. I have heard that it is an issue.

Good luck

***Update***

I have emailed the embassy 2 times and each time I got a different resopnce, both of which were plesently written but both say just wait for the most part. So we are still waiting.

Good luck to all of you with interviews.

As for us we are still waiting for a "decision" I have send two emails and gotten to very nice responces that for the most part say, just wait. Nov 15 will be one month waiting since Xuan turned in the requested documents from the green sheet and was given a blue sheet that said, wait for a decision.

Can anyone tell me if they have gotten a blue sheet like this and how did it get resolved for you? Is it as bad as it sounds?

Thanks for any thoughts.

Well so far we are still waiting. We turned all the documents they requested on Oct 15 and they just handed her a blue sheet that pretty much said wait for us to make a decision. The old, (don't call us, we will call you). I have emailed Marc Ellis and he seems to think we need to wait. I am not sure what exactly we paid for but I sure hope it will be evident at some point. I do know that Mr. Nam was a big help to Xuan and for that I guess it was worth the money. I did expect a bit more. Like one of them to follow up with the embassy from time to time on our behalf to help keep our names in front of someone. Guess that is not the way it is done though. I have emailed the embassy and got the, your case will need reviewed by our staff and there could be a "significant delay". According to ME that could be 4 to 5 months and the answer could still be no. If I had half a million US I would just say screw the US government and move to Vietnam. Invest the money in property or something there and never come back. I was a US Marine and our government just pisses me off some times. BUT I am poor and I have to just wait it out I guess.

Anyway that is the update. Thanks again for all the well wishes.

When I visited Xuan in Siagon, she started to pay for some stuff and I would not let her. I have never NOT paid for items when it comes eating out or a taxi or something like that. I did not know about the woman paying for things until I read this post. I did let her pay for some things on the second trip only when all I had on me was large bills and it was a small item like a taxi bill. I alway kept the money and most of the time even if she paid I would have to take the change. I would ask her from time to time when I was there if she needed any money but every time she would say no. I am not a rich person by any means but I did try to take enough money to be sure I could pay for most anything I wanted. I tried to keep about 2 million Dong on me when I would leave the hotel room and the rest in the safe in the room. I would keep maybe 20 dollars US on me as well. On my second trip we had our engaugement party which I paid for everything and that hurt but we also flew up to Dalat and tooled around there for a week. At the end of both my trips I gave her most of the Dong I had left. It was hard for her to take it from me but after we talked she accepted it. I continue to ask her if she needs money and each time she tells me no. I have sent her money for items like the physical and bribes for getting other documents as we are all aware of. I am very sure that we will send her family money when she moves to America and I think that is normal. I have done the same for my family so it is not a out of the ordinary to do the same for her family. The ammount may not be much from some peoples stand point but I am sure it will help. Her family are good people and I would be happy to help if I can. However if we have agreed to an ammount, that would be the ammount we send. I do plan to retire near where her parents live if at all possible. I am 38 now so I am thinking maybe 10 years or so I hope.

Good luck to you. I hope you have a better outcome then we did.

Yea that ex thing was a bit of a stretch for me too but I made sure to send Xuan to the interview with BOTH of my Rx's current address, 2 utility bills with their name and address on them, and she even learned their address just Incas they ask her. We had a time line and all that stuff. Where they wanted more information for us was. They wanted my last 10 years addresses, her aunt and cousins that live in Huston, their last 10 years addresses. A copy of their ID and passports as well. Xuan trained all that in today and got a blue slip that said we need to wait for their decision. At least that is what I think she explained to me. So now we wait. So far we have given every single piece of evidence they have asked for and anything we could think they may ask for in the future. Mr. Nam, who works with Mark Ellis has been a big help to Xuan so far. It seems that Mr. Nam does 90% of the work, at least in our case anyway.

We will see

Gratz to you and your wife. I hope her flight is smooth and uneventful.

How about moving to europe or australia or other parts of asia. i gather you are a college graduate, with work experence in a professional field. It's much easier to get similar types of western jobs in europe, japan, hong kong, australia. it's much easier for your wife to go to those countries as well. Seems like leaving everything in the US is not an issue, so why not move to one of thos places.

That is a good idea

I agree that it is not only what you answer but HOW you answer this question that counts. Xuan was very confident with her answers because we practiced everyday for over 3 months. BUT I have heard of the consulate calling the other part of the couple to ask them the same questions and if they do not match then that is the end of that. That is why when we practice Xuan answered the question exactily as I had written them for her to answer and I had all of the documentation up on both of my monitors just incase they called me. Long story short they do not know the correct answer in most cases but they may compair the answers so be prepaired.

Just my thoughts, but what do I know? We got a green sheet on our first try.

it's sad at first. you get the denial, you feel sorry for your wife. then you become a bit self rightous. you begin to develop a gameplan. you think the counsulate will listen to your side of the story. you think they have to listen to you because you are an american citizen. you believe you have that right because you have a US passport. you want to show them all your evidence, you want to go to the conuate and demand to talk to an officer regarding your case. you are a taxpayer and they work for you type of metality. once you realize you are not in kansas, you start thinking about alternatives. should i ask my senator for help, should i hire an attorney, should we file another case, is all this even worth it, should we call it off and just separate. then you just become helpless and confused. what do i do now? you want to belive this will all work out, but maybe it won't. how long do you hold on for? should i move to vietnam? just some of my thoughts. i may be off base a bit or a little pestimistic but that's how i felt .

Yea what he said.

Thank you all for your words of encouragement and advice. I believe we will submit the documents they asked for and will have to wait. Xuan may even have to do another interview though the first interview was good except for the part where they did not bother to look at any evidence and where she got the green sheet and all.

We are in it until we are together. Whatever it takes. Even if I have to move to Vietnam.

Hang in there, brother!

How long did they give you to respond?

It says a year to respond.