ebonyqueen

There were a few things that I read which may not have been directed to me but I know it is definitely speaks to the stereotypical view of my race.

You have just done what you have been expressing to others NOT to do! Read something into someone else's words. ( I assume u meant the "hair and nails" comment...didn't u?) If so...when did us sistas have the market on wantin to look like divas! I saw no inference or suggestion that she meant it as a racial remark...Why ya'll gotta go there? This kind of "it's cuz I'm black" shyt always gotta rear it's ugly head! Get over yourselves ma sistas!!! If you want the ignorance to end...stop feeding into it! It's not always about race. And even when it is....it goes both ways! Being subtle about it doesnt make it any less of a reality! The war of the words will go on forever, just like each person's interpretation of them.

No one likes to see the drama that unfolds here...but each one of us who posts a response, no matter if its to calm the air, or defend ourself...is contributing to keeping the drama alive...so don't none of ya'll get righteous and pretend u aint doing nothin! Myself included...I will always interject when I feel so compelled....and will be as "real" as ya'll claim to be....and I will definitely speak my mind. It goes back to the ole saying..."if u don't wanna get into it...don't reply to the post" Simple as that. VJ is a small section of real life....and if ya'll can't take the good with the bad....then get out the dang kitchen! Life is not all roses and rainbows! There are plenty of wonderfully supportive and positive threads on this site...If ur not looking to stir the pot...then don't go to stove! Anyone who reads these drama-fied threads...and thinks that this is what VJ is about is really the ignorant one! Someone else's drama helps us to forget our own sometimes...kinda like therapy!

Happy posting everyone!

Peace, Love and Happiness

I would have to agree with this reality. I too have seen and met members of the "scam squad" I would like to take this scenerio further by sharing some additional reality. There are people in this country (USA) who are knowingly and willingly helping these scammers to commit this fraud. They are sending and receiving merchandise (clothing, electronics, jewelery etc.) that is purchased with stolen credit cards, which the scammers have bought in their own country. (a stolen number may be sold to a dozen people for a very cheap price!) In most cases they (the usc) are rewarded by getting to keep some of the items for themselves. Many of these items are the gifts that these guys send when they are wooing their victim. They also use these stolen card numbers to send flowers, book flights, and otherwise "seem" like they have money. They "groom" their victims...sometimes for years!...and they have many women they are scamming at once. They keep "logs" of information on each so that they can remember who and what they talk about! . Sometimes they are seeking just a constant money flow from these unususpecting women...and other times they are looking for a permanent ticket to the "land of dreams" and the first one they can "hook"..sometimes both! In many cases the family is "unaware" of the complexity of the scamming. They may know of one woman, and are very supportive of the relationship because they know it means the life of the entire family will be changing for the better if a family member gets to America. But realistically...most (not all) African families are rooted in religion and family values, and would not participate in an elaborate scheme such as marriage fraud. (or they would never speak about their doubts) I have found that most of these guys are lying (or withholding the truth) to their family about the nature of their feelings/relationship.

I was appalled to have met a lady online who told me of a "group" of women (most with kids, and on welfare) who are being paid to file papers for these scammers who are paying them with stolen goods. she said they sometimes get a "lump sum of cash" and/or they get their rent paid for the entire time the visa is pending...and even up until the AOS. They live in separate places, and have a detailed list of what they need to do to prove the relationship...including pages and pages of possible questions etc. that they study and memorize. I was so pissed when she began telling me this shyt because it is those people who are clogging up the system and making it more difficult for the rest of us with legitimate relationships. I had to go off on her azz, and tell her its a good thing I didnt know her last name!!!

Now...with all this said...I am by no means implying that every African met online is doing this. And even those who may participate in the credit card fraud...are still human and may be genuine in their love for someone, and/or their pursuit of true love. Every person, anywhere...dreams of a better life, especially if they come from poverty...so u can't blame someone for wanting better for themselves. There are wonderful, honest, loving, African men of integrity..(which I'm sure many of us can atest too!) that are truly searching for their soulmate, just like the rest of us.

Bottom line....just be smart, educated, and WATCH FOR THE RED FLAGS!!!!! Most time the signs are there...in plain sight! And I can't stress enough to DO YOUR HOMEWORK! Ask questions, remember the answers...and most importantly...go there, hang with the family, visit the church, meet the pastor, LIVE HIS LIFE for as long as u can. Be very careful with sending money. Like someone said in a previous post. Most African men are proud, and believe in providing for the family...they would not even consider asking for or taking money from their woman.

(This post is my opinion based on what I know....it is not meant to be a generalization. Its the ugly exception, not the rule!)

I am proud to say I am married to a wonderful african brotha who I adore and love deeply. We have been successful in uncovering and exposing some of these stupid azzholes...maybe we will start a private investigation service in Naija!!!! ROFL

Peace, Love and Happiness

Please be respectful of one another here, as we all have a unique history. Stop short of personal attacks.

Regards.

You've got to be kidding me!!!!!!!! What does ones history have to do with broadcasting your child's name all over the internet in a derogatory manner?!!! And if I am not mistaken...didnt the OP start the personal attacks in the first place by giving the name, occupation and former place of residence..of her ex-husband...solely for the purpose of making his identity known! WOW!!!

If you can't take the heat...get out the kitchen!!!!!!!

The Visa Journey Moderators are tasked with identifying TOS violations, not issues that personally offend individuals on the basis of moral stance. If you wish to confer with a Moderator directly, please do so via PM.

Please do not discuss the VJ moderation posture on the forum any further.

oops...my bad. I didn't notice that you were a moderator. My apologies for my response to your post. You are just doing your job.

Please be respectful of one another here, as we all have a unique history. Stop short of personal attacks.

Regards.

You've got to be kidding me!!!!!!!! What does ones history have to do with broadcasting your child's name all over the internet in a derogatory manner?!!! And if I am not mistaken...didnt the OP start the personal attacks in the first place by giving the name, occupation and former place of residence..of her ex-husband...solely for the purpose of making his identity known! WOW!!!

If you can't take the heat...get out the kitchen!!!!!!!

I'm one of the old school members here on VJ. I brought to this country ( the USA ) and married a Nigerian man back in 2004. I got pregnant 3-weeks of his arrival here, our son Victor Obinna Ezike Jr was the only joy that would come out of our union. I still can't understand why his father would name our son after himself then cut a total fool to leave his son behind. My guess is when you want a GC so bad you'll do anything to get one, even if it means marrying someone you have zero intentions of staying with.

As I promised myself to post on this forum from time to time of my experience here I sit, and here we go; first to those that take offense simply don't read any farther and NO, I won't be defending my post. Some on here have become unofficial experts of my feelings and thoughts, and too you I say save your energy for your own approaching storm.

What really get me to this day is that many people that are going thru this visa journey already knows of someone that has been used for a GC or is currently being used for one but for some reason they think that it won't be the case with their alien spouse. I once read on this site in a thread where a women that was born and raised in Nigeria responded to a thread; she wrote that 98% ( can't remember her exact quote but it was in the nineties ) of marriages from Nigeria to US citizens are fraudulent, ofcourse she caught alot of heat from mad posters for her statement and way too many people trying to justiy their relationships with these fiances and husbands that they barely spent time with. Lets be for real a moment, most of us have spent less then one year physically with our (soon to be ) spouse. My neighbor from Uganda told me that in her country they have people employed to chat online and match up people wanting to come to America, they then pass that information over to whom hired them to meet an american online for marriage. Once the American commits, then their job is done. Then your actually dealing with the person your gonna marry.

I went to Nigeria the first time back in 2003, I was too scared to really site see plus my then fiance had to work alot, he had 2-jobs at 2 different hospitals and being that I'm in the medical field also, me going to work with him was right up my alley. I enjoyed watching him take care of his patients, going and getting report from the attending doctor he was relieving and just watching the way they handled their patients there in Lagos. ( totally different from America ) I was very grateful that God watched over me while I was there, no robbers came in the still of the night nor was there any problems of anyone trying to bring harm my way. ( To keep it real one run in with security at the airport while walking to his car, I now think he sat that up tho.) As you all know there are many alert warnings about traveling to Africa.

I believe that many Americans that choose to marry a Alien are strong willed middle to low class Americans, many still in school getting their Masters ( or lower ) degree. But these Americans are very strong willed. They have little to none experience concerning immigration nor the people from other countries. They don't know that many people in third world countries (educated, sucessful, married within their country ) have a desire to get to American no matter whom they hurt in the process. They don't know how easy it is for them to purchase fraudulent papers saying anything they want it to say. But in confidence they're Alien have told them just as my ex-husband has mentioned it to me. But again the confession of love from them tends to shade us Americans. They have a way of getting us to think that they're sharing their countries corruption with us so our relationship is legit with them.

I spent only 6-days in Nigeria the first visit, I was already won over but had to go so that we could say that we met in person. We talked on the phone alot, ofcourse it was me calling alot, he called me approx. 3-times a month give or take, but I was the aggressor once he professed his love for me.

For some reason I was under the inpression that he was poor, that he didn't have the means to call, ofcourse I didn't know that calling the states isn't an expensive call, it took me going there and calling my kids back here to understand that. ( plus he's a medical doctor there )

Many of us feel or are manipulated into thinking that once we meet these Aliens that we have to take care of them, I say stop that RIGHT NOW , ask yourself how were they survifing before you met them, and they had money to chat with you then, so you shouldn't have to be paying their way now. Unless your looking for a dependent husband/wife, because believe it or not, the way you treat them now is the way that they and their family is gonna expect you to continue to treat them, so for that family, don't provide unless you intend to continue providing. For all of you that have been to Nigeria we all know that most of the people there charge you for services based on what they feel you can pay. My then fiance would send the housekeeper from his work ( we lived at Bob Specialist Hospital where he lived in a one room provided for him) to get our eggs and tomatoes each morning cause according to him, they would charge me more once hearing my accent and knowing that I wasen't Nigerian.

Okay so much to tell but my son is preventing me from telling it cause he wants my time, but my caution is to all the newbies here, if you think you have found gold by finding a Alien , please take time to get to know that person. Many of us Americans are good hard working people that aren't aware of the manipulaion and lies that exist in a third world country, we don't know how bad many want to come to America nor what their willing to do to get here. I know that my ex-husband used me for American benefits and I'm stilll working to prove that I was not an abrusive spouse. It's funny how our goverment works, they take a Amercan citizen that has a clean record and believe someone from from a corrupt country and allows that person to tarnish their name.

My caution to all you at the beginning of your visa process is to live in your fiance's country before marrying them, you have to realize that your not dealing with your average joe just looking to get laid.

For those that have brought men here and now going thru hard times, please feel free to e-mail me, there are precautions that you can take if you realize u have been used. I'm willing to work with you. With dealing with my own situation I now know some things you can do to combat their many lies.

My son turned 3 this month, his Father, living in this same community has not seen him since he was one years old, but then , I now know he didn't come here to have a baby, but hey , a baby is solid proof of having a relationship with his spouse. So why not ??? If you don't put yourself in the mind frame of someone from a third world country, you will end up just as I did, but posting your story to help others is on you, I know many that have been used for American benefits don't post, they are just glad to get that abrusive person away from them, but that's not helping the cause. We Americans that fought so hard to get our Alien spouse's here must fight equally hard to let immigration know of the scams that we experienced. For professional people getting here thru marriage the I-360 seems to be their way of choice of leaving their American spouse, please become familiar with this I-360.

For the moderators, please allow my thread due to the fact that I'm sharing information concerning the Sub Sarharn, no where on this site does it say it has to be happy and positive. I admit that what I wrote is true so just let it ride.

To the newbies take heed, lest you bring a person here that means you MO good. This is my story, is much of it that I can write for now. As I said feel free to e-mail me, but if you met an Alien thru the internet and it seems too good to be true, it probably isn't true.

I'm thankful for having Victor Obinna Ezike Jr. I was over 40 when he was born, my ex-husband was still in his thirties, I hear that they are groomed and well studied on American immigration way before they come here, but again that's something they won't share with you especially if their intent is to leave you once they get their greencard.

To make a long story short, my ex-husband wanted to leave and there wasen't anything I could do or say to keep him here with me, I lost once I signed for the adjustment of statis, he was then able to scam his way from there. Please e-mail me and I'll tell you the signs to look out for as well as what to do to combat their defense against you.

Looks like the "scam train" is up and running again! ALL ABOARD!!!!!!.....

But seriously IDOCARE..Why on God's green earth would you ever publicly disclose the name of your innocent child like this!!!! That is the most ignorant, irresponsible, thing you could ever do! It's one thing to have hate and revenge for your ex...but to drag your child into it is inexcusable! Like so many others have stated....it is not your story we take offense too..it's the way you seem to "sugarcoat" everything with a malicious undertone! And this recent post is proof that you have other motives besides trying to "share your story..or educate others". You are defaming the character of your ex by providing his full name...and you are using your child as a tool. SHAME ON YOU! I think you have serious issues, but thats just my opinion! And when you put something out there as foolishly as you do...you can expect the "court of public opinion" to answer back. I am extremely concerned for your child...and the means by which you are choosing to approach your hurt and anger.

BY POPULAR DEMAND (oh I mean "unpopular" ) Here is the place for all happy couples to come and hang out without any negative interruptions.

Rules of the thread:

1. No hating on anyone's relationship

2. No raining on anyones parade

3. No throwin salt in anyones game

4. No talking mess about people's SO, if you don't know them

5. No bad mouthing any one's nationality, culture, or place of birth

6. No disrespecting fellow members

7. No insulting or personal attacks

8. No drinking of HATORADE!

But please do:

1. Share positive experiences

2. Offer encouragement to others

3. Give respectful opinions and insight when asked

4. Ask for support and strength

5. IGNORE ALL POSTS FROM TROLLS, OR OTHERS POSING AS THE OBNOXIOUS CREATURES, AND/OR ALL OTHERS WHO DON'T HAVE A LIFE THUS HAVE TO MAKE EVERYONE ELSE AROUND THEM MISERABLE AS WELL, AND/OR THOSE WHO LIKE TO DERAIL POSTS WITH THEIR HIDDEN AGENDAS.

Looks like its time again for the "love train"

CHOO CHOO!

Still happy and in love!

Woudnt it be fun to have a weekend trip and meet and hang out with some of the peeps we been talking to on VJ for so long!!!! I think it would be cool. And it gives us a chance to show our SO's other parts of the country, while maybe building some wonderful friendships. It would involve some organization and coordination...but maybe some of us are into the party-planning stuff and would help.

Maybe our wonderful ZEE will make us another beautiful chart that lists our towns and states, and we can start seeing how close, or far we all are from each other.

Anyone down for it? Come on...it might be fun. A VJ reunion!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'd like to add my $.02 worth. Theres some problems with this story. First off, i have a problem with what the original intentions of the USC and the SO were. Assuming the OP tells a semi accurate story of his "then friend" did he go there to meet a wife, or buy a wife. Cuz you kno that stuff happens alot with the mail order bride stuff going on. Maybe it was really a business deal that went bad! I really mean no disrespect...but so many things just dont make sense. He's this big, bad, guy with a lengthy criminal record for violent crimes, no legitimate income except disability, has medical conditions requiring heavy duty medications, lives in subsidised housing, does not work or pay taxes, yet has trucks, cars, motorcycles, and other expensive toys he is not afraid to flaunt. He sells drugs, in which many people are aware, can afford trips to Phillipines and is a domineering, selfish, egotistical, bonehead with no moral character or integrity whose feeding off everyone elses hard earned money, by scamming the system..Tell me how in the ** was he able to sponser her? How did he prove his income? CR-1's require alot of background work. They are often in AP for long periods of time. If all this is true, he would have been flagged for sure. And then during the whole waiting time...when the OP discovered his so-called friend was a buster...he and the cousin should have made sure she knew everything. He says they pleaded wth the family for her not to marry him...To me thats on her then. If she knew what the possibilites might be, and she still went ahead with it, then it is her problem to get herself out of it. If she was taking a chance, she should have had a plan B. I believe theres way more to this story than is being told. And no one can give an opinion on half-truths, cuz it wont be vaild. I think they all had ulterior motives. Cuz this story sounds too ridiculous.

But to stay with the topic...based on this "story" I would say the OP and wife should take in the cousin. Help her get the help she needs.(talking to a counselor, attorney, USCIS, etc.) Keep her from the husband if thats what she wants.(police report, restraining order etc.) And help her start a new life. If the husband starts #######, then start blowing the whistle on all his scams, and get his azz in trouble.

But my true opinion is that there are 3 sides to every story...Hers, his, and the truth!!!!

And every single person, both USC and SO has to keep in the back of their mind that this might not work out in the end. Especially if you are only spending very little time with the person u are marrying. It goes both ways. There is a business of people buying and scamming their way to the US. People just have to be smarter in there decisions. See the red flags instead of ignoring them. Any immigration fraud situation has both people to blame on some level. And both will usually suffer as well, but moreso the one who has the most to lose! I think the cousin needs to do some self-reflection, and decide if all this is worth trying to stay in an unknown place, with little support. There is always, churches, womens groups, social services, etc. that could help...and these same places could help her get a ticket back home too. It all depends what her intention are and/or were in the first place. Who was using who? Did he want a submissive wife he could order around and control? Did she know of this and still marry just so she could get to the US? Its a very interesting scenerio....with lots of questions unanswered without having all sides of the story!

Peace, Love, and Happiness

and the moral of the story is:

There are 3 sides to every story. His side, her side and the truth! We all have to look at ourselves in the mirror and live with our actions, cuz in the end it's not what our friends, family or peers think of us, it's what God thinks!

Peace, Love and Happiness

I have however put a prediction to one persons destiny and I stand by my prediction for that

individual.

Oh lawd!!! Is this the Psychic Hotline now? What's next? Ms. Cleo? Dionne Warwick and friends? Gimme a break!!!!!!!

OK ... for all you folks who are sending the PM's, and burning the phone lines .... stop hiding! You may be bullied, and psyched to believe that things may/may not be what they are but speak up! It's OK .......

Why are you encouraging people who want anonymity to post? What are you trying to prove? It seems you are trying to perpetuate and continue this stupid and childish "he said, she said" . If other VJ'rs are benefiting from pm'ing idocare or you or anyone else...then good for them! They are grown folk and can do whatever they want. This whole issue started because MANY of us (who were not afraid to speak up) felt idocare was not telling the whole story, and doing so with hateful undertones.

So...unless these so-called "silent" VJ'ers are wanting to share their stories in a real and honest way..then I don't see how that has anything to do with your defense of idocare. If I was one of those people I wouldnt share publicly either, for fear people like idocare would resort to "I told u so's" and continued negativity instead of support and encouragement.

Peace, Love and Happiness

Ok...I got a story

Chapter One

Once upon a time....

In a land far far away (I think Nigeria), There was this man. He was a medicine man. He took care of all the sick people in his village. He spent many long hours at his clinic, but made very little money for his efforts. One day he got a wonderful idea. Maybe if he could meet an American woman, she would fall in love with him, and bring him to the USA where he could become a rich and successful doctor. He began searching dating sites, chat rooms, myspace, facebook, and many other social sites in search of his Queen. One day he happened upon a woman who seemed the perfect one. He communicated with her for many months, sending her poetry and professing his love. He was surprised to discover that she believed everything he told her and she too began professing her love for him. Soon she wanted to come for a visit. He prepared all his family for her arrival. He explained that she was to be the one that would take him to America. The whole village was in joyous anticipation of her visit. They all wanted to meet this woman who declared her love for the doctor before they had even met. And who would be so trusting and generous to accept his every word as the truth. The time they shared was wonderful. Everyone was so nice and polite to her. She felt at ease and comfortable with this man, the doctor. They became engaged.

When she returned home she began the process of applying for his visa. Many months went by and the time seemed to stand still. The doctor continued his work, and patiently awaited the news of their approval. He knew in the back of his mind that what he was doing was not perfect in God's eyes...but he thought, "maybe I will come to love this woman when I am away from the perils of my country, and I will have peace in my percieved deception". There were many times he questioned whether he sould ever love this woman. She seemed to have emotional issues that would surface from time to time, and at times seemed to have anger and sadness inside her heart. But he began praying that God give him the strength and courage to face this deed that he had done, and he tried to explain that he had to try to make a better life for his family, and if it meant sacrificing one person for the sake of many...then God should understand.

The time had finally arrived. He was on his way to the Land of Riches..America! He would soon be building a new life for himself, and one in which he could support his family back home. His fiance greeted him at the airport, and the first day of the rest of his life was about to begin. They had many wedding plans to make, and the doctor began the difficult process of adjusting to a new way of life. As he soon realized, it was not as easy as he had imagined. His new wife was not the person he had thought she was.She became pregnant. Her emotional instability began to dominate the atmosphere to the point that the doctor had to distance himself. Her demands became unbearable. She began to become intolorant to his lack of understanding of the customs and ways of the western world. She expected him to do and be more than he was capable of at this time. He began seeking people in the community who he could talk to and who would understand. He gained self confidence and strength from his new circle of friends. He discovered there were many other men who had attempted his same journey, who also were in a marriage they were not happy in. Some of them "scammed" their wives into marrying them, others were genuine in the beginning but grew to realize they never really knew their wife at all. Some were still married, and determined to make it work. Others were trying desperately to find ways out. He heard stories of abuse, both physical and psychological, and also of those who would lie about it in order to get away from their wives.

He knew he could no longer pretend. He decided after the baby was born, he would leave his wife. Althought he loved his child, he knew that God would take of it in his absence. He knew there would come a day when he would be reunited with his child again. But right now he could no longer stand to be around his nagging, selfish, angry, hurtful, pitiful wife. If he was there a minute longer he feared what would happen. So he prayed...and God told him to be done. To move on. To learn from his mistakes. To become a better man. And so he he did.

Although he still suffers the pains of his defeat. He continues to grow and learn. His ex-wife has not been so fortunate. She has been unable to cope with the loss. She despises this doctor who stole her heart and broke it in two. She curses his evilness every chance she gets, and preaches the ugliness to all who will listen. She blames everything on the doctor who was only after a greencard. She talks of others who will do the same, and warns all the naive, immature, gullible women of the world to be careful, as soon you will be a victim too. She lives in anger and resentment, and is unable to accept any responsibility for the outcome. She lives in a cocoon of despair. Wanting only to retaliate and condemn.

Chapter 2?

(Ok people...who's next? Let's keep this story going. But of course keep it within the topic! we don't want to derail this thread!!!)

Footnote: This is a hypothetical story, any similarites to real people or events is strictly coincidental.

BY POPULAR DEMAND (oh I mean "unpopular" ) Here is the place for all happy couples to come and hang out without any negative interruptions.

Rules of the thread:

1. No hating on anyone's relationship

2. No raining on anyones parade

3. No throwin salt in anyones game

4. No talking mess about people's SO, if you don't know them

5. No bad mouthing any one's nationality, culture, or place of birth

6. No disrespecting fellow members

7. No insulting or personal attacks

8. No drinking of HATORADE!

But please do:

1. Share positive experiences

2. Offer encouragement to others

3. Give respectful opinions and insight when asked

4. Ask for support and strength

5. IGNORE ALL POSTS FROM TROLLS, OR OTHERS POSING AS THE OBNOXIOUS CREATURES, AND/OR ALL OTHERS WHO DON'T HAVE A LIFE THUS HAVE TO MAKE EVERYONE ELSE AROUND THEM MISERABLE AS WELL, AND/OR THOSE WHO LIKE TO DERAIL POSTS WITH THEIR HIDDEN AGENDAS.

Let us stop this foolish, childish nonsense. Someone gotta be the bigger person and let this sh** go!

"Can't we all just get along"

So anyway....I'm missing my husband so much! His stupid internet connection is messing up again, and I really need to talk to my boo!

lemon or lime?

idocare...theone...May I interest either of you in a glass of HATORADE?!!!! It seems to be a very popular beverage these days! CHEERS everyone! Bottoms up!

People...I'm thinking that Idocare just aint gonna get it!!!! She not seeing thru her anger enough to see that we aint the enemy here! She don't understand that no ones telling her not to post, or not to tell her story. I think she just has some "issues", and chooses VJ as an outlet for her pain. I'm beginning to feel she resents any of us who may have a true loving and legitimate relationship, thats why she is trying so hard to throw salt. She is jealous and feels sorry for herself. There is no other way to explain why she would try to bring others down by being so negative in every thread. And I don't think she gonna stop. You can't reason with an "unreasonable" person. If we report it, and Ewok closes the thread..she just gonna start up in another one!

So I say we just ignore her all together. Whenever she interupts a topic, no one respond...and just move on. Continue the discussion as if she wasn't even there. Those who want her advice or explaination can continue to pm her as she claims people are doing. She's only making herself look more ignorant by continuing to post and argue with everyone. I think she likes the drama! She likes the attention we all giving her! So maybe we just need to take the attention away from her now.

She's getting a taste of her own medicine! Feeling the intense urge to defend bcuz someone is being negative about something they feel strongly about! Hmmm.....Idocare, do you even realize that you are doing exactly wat we are doing?!!!!! WOW....unreal!!!!

Ok people...lets just end it now. Everyone stop posting here, and lets move on. If she creeps into the other posts...lets just ignore her. Ok? Come on...lets unite in protest!!! Hail to the Queen Omoba (jus playin wit u girl! We love u...lol)

Like I said, poor you! Time will tell. Best of luck, you will need it.

Yea...poor poor pitiful me... Oh ye of little faith! Thank you so much for your heartfelt good wishes I'm sure I'll remember your nonsense when I'm basking in the glory of my wonderful, sincere, loving, strong, proud Nigerian husband who posesses the integrity and godliness that all of your friends (99.9%) obviously don't have. Seems the green-eyed monster is rearing his ugly face. Didnt anyone ever tell you "god don't like ugly"?

Peace, Love and Happiness

AMEN

mmmmm....girl, u got a keeper!!!

ebonyqueen,

Poor you! Why is the truth so painful to hear? . You have the right to say whatever you want, so do I. Catch ya.

Do I seem in pain? I think you are hilarious! Truth is in the eye of the beholder!

I have tried and I have prayed but my patience and endurance could not stand to see this homophia continue. I am a Nigerian man and very proud to be so. You say you are wise, and you say that Nigerian men are dogs (99.9%), you say also that you know them very well. Now lets see, what made you get to know almost the entire population of Nigerian men? Maybe its somebody(you) else who is a dog. people who say stuff like you, do that because they would do so if given the opportunity. By the way you write, i know that you were not born here. So how did you get your own green card? They gave it to you as a Goodwill Ambassador to the UN?

We are supposed to be here to support and help each other positively. If you want to talk about any personal experiences, then go ahead and tell your story. Please do not lump all Nigerian men as dogs. Maybe you have family members who have told you they would sleep with dogs to come to America, then please be clear on that.

Enough is enough

Thank you ma brotha! (You must in the .1%..hahahaha) I hope more proud nigerian men stand up for their integrity. Maybe some of u need to rally your SO's to voice their opinions too!!!

Theone...your post reaks of jealousy and ignorance. You say you know Nigerian men and 99.9% of them are dogs and are marrying only for a greencard? Wow, you really get around! You have been thru alot of men to know they are all dogs! Maybe you are one of those women my nigerian friends have told me about. One that will not give a fellow nigerian man the time of day unless he has money! One that sleeps around and uses men for what they can get from them instead of seeing them for their true character. One who won't even consider a man who does not have wealth or come from wealth. One who looks at outer appearances instead of inner beauty. One who is greedy, materialistic, selfish, and pathetic. Hmmm...does that sound familiar? Oh sorry...maybe I am generalizing that 99.9% of nigerian women are like that!

I feel sorry for you if 99.9% of the nigerian men you know that marry an american, are dogs! Because 99.9% of nigerian men I know are NOT dogs, nor did they marry for the greencard! Granted you probably know more nigerians than I do, but obviously you hang out "with the wrong crowd".

So in closing just let me say... about 69.9% of American men are dogs! So I guess us women are the ones "sleeping with a dog". (Yes..I've done the research )

Theone...plz go away with your ridiculous comments. Stop hatin and start appreciatin!

With all due respect...Is "one love" for real????

I have been away from VJ for awhile due to illness, but have spent most of today catching up on all the posts. I felt the need to respond to this topic.

Idocare: I'm glad that you are giving some details as to your situation...but you still have not explained what actually happened. You say he started to "create strive and discord". How bout elaborating on that. If you are truly here to "help" others, then you have to give us some examples. Tell us exactly how he acted, what he said, how you know it was a scam from the beginning, and not just that he found out that he didn't really love you the way he thought. How bout telling us what happened. How it all played out. Details of behaviors etc. that led you to finally find out he was only using you. You cant just keep ranting and raving about the failure of your relationship and keep preaching your intent to "enlighten" everyone...when you dont even explain the reasons behind your opinions .Some of us will find out the ugly truth eventually, bcuz all of us intelligent women know that scamming is a real and possible scenario. But until we find out for ourselves, none of your bad mouthing gonna "help" us unless you come at us with some realness instead of rhetoric; and some compassion instead of hatorade!!!

But of course...you are free to post and say anything you want...just as all of us are. But IMO, if you are really here to help...then offer some in a constructive and useful way. Hindsight is 20/20!!!!! (none of us are there yet!!) What were the red flags that you may not have wanted to believe? Do you take any responsibility for the way things turned out? Do you believe he planned the entire thing from the beginning? Not saying this is true in your case....but I have many many friends who have been "romance scammed", and in every case there were "warning signs, and red flags" from the very start. They just choose not to see them, ignore them, or explain them away. Not one of them blames the entire thing on just their man. They bare some responsibility for not reading the signs and using their intuition to see the truth when it was staring them right in the face. Thats why its important that if you really want to use your situation to "enlighten" others, you need to be up front and honest about it. We are all vulnerable when it comes to love, especially women. No woman is gonna believe her man is deceiving her...so all u can do is lay out your scenerio and let us look into our own relationship and make a judgement for ourselves.

A gentle reminder of the Terms of Service.

Can someone please tell me how to post a YouTube video on here. I tried several times, following the instructions, but when I previewed the post it wasnt there. Am I just stupid..or what?!!! LOL