ose_n_me

Thanks..

We are trying to find information on how we can get my mother-in-law to the states for medical treatment that they aren't able to give her in Nigeria. She has been to several hospitals and they keep giving her the run around, claiming they do not have the equipment needed for her surgery. Is there any organizations here in the US that help people with no money to be able to have these life-saving surgeries? Our family is devestated at the medical care she has been given so far. She needs surgery immediatley or she may face life threatening infection or even death.

Please let us know if anyone knows what we can do or how to help us.

Hello subbies

Just wanted to say hi and invite anyone who has a myspace to come check out my page. http://www.myspace.com/themadiaproject We are a non-profit organization, and would love to start building a network of caring individuals. Please add us as a friend and leave a comment. If you would like more information about The MADIA Project, please email madiafoundation@aol.com

God Bless,

C

Good luck and many blessings to those still facing the agony of separation. May Godspeed bring you together soon. Amen

Hello fellow VJ'ers

Just wanted to say hi and invite anyone who has a myspace to come check out my page. http://www.myspace.com/themadiaproject We are a non-profit organization, and would love to start building a network of caring individuals. Please add us as a friend and leave a comment. If you would like more information about The MADIA Project, please email madiafoundation@aol.com

God Bless,

C

Hello Subbies

Its been awhile since I've posted, cuz life is hectic and busy these days!

Yesterday was the one year anniversary that my hubby has been here! YAYYYYYY! We are going strong and doing great! He has been to school, received his state and national certification for Pharmacy Technician, and has been employed at a pharmacy for 6 months now. His next step is to start the pre-reqs for nursing school. His goal is to be an FNP first, then possibly pursue either Physicians Assistant or maybe even all the way thru med school to be a pediatrician. With the crazy economy and so many out of work we are so thankful and blessed that he has been able to find his niche in our community.

Besides the normal marital ups and downs, and minor cultural misunderstandings...(hahaha)...I must admit that his transition has been much easier than either of us imagined. Of course we both face the guilt issues of wanting to do more for our Naija family...but we know that our long-term success is the key to ultimately changing our family's living conditions etc. His new-found understanding of the American lifestyle, finances, and culture has given him a reality check about the misinformation about America being paved with gold

I don't really have time to address people individually...but I do want to say:

--To those still going thru the process.. Hang in there, and talk to God daily for guidance and strength, stay strong and patient, and take care of yourself too! May you have Godspeed in your journey!

--To the old-timers and veteran subbies: Hope all is going well, and your life is happy and full-filled. (please give updates occasionally!)

--To Leedah....I am so so sorry. Pray Pray Pray. My thoughts are with you.

Here's a few questions:

1. Can anyone recommend a bank that they are able to do international transfers back and forth and have a family member (from Naija) listed on the account?

2. Anyone had experience with sponsering a family member (from Naija) for a student visa? Any info at all would be greatly appreciated.

Take care and God Bless,

Crystal

Still together... Still married... Still in love... (and still on the honeymoon... )

24 months married

8 months since he's been in the US

THANKS BE TO GOD....OUR BLESSINGS ARE IMMEASURABLE...AMEN

I send things often, and so far I've had no problem, but I try not to send things that are too fancey that would be too tempting to steal, they basically have everything there as we have here(believe it or not). I keep my care packages simple (toothpaste, deoderant, cologne, t-shirts, underwear, etc) May as well send it at the cheaper rate because once it leaves th U.S. it can get to the recipient at any given time, no matter how you send it. It is better if your husband tracks the package online then picks it up himself in the post office. It could still get stolen even at a business address. Hope this helps!

Thanks for the reply. Actually my hubby is here in the states already...We were trying to send gifts back to family.

Unfortunately I found out today that the package we were sending is too large to send USPS!!!! They won't even accept it!!!! I can't even believe that!!!! So I guess we will have to divide it into several smaller boxes...and take a greater risk that one or all of them will not make it to the destination or pay the friggin $700 for FEDEX!!! This really pisses me off!

yayyyyyyyyy

Very encourging. Hope nothing was taken or tampered with. I'm mailing ours off today! Praying it makes it safe and sound!

Omoba

Thanks for the responses. My hubby decided we are gonna take a chance with USPS..He doesnt feel its worth the money to send otherwise. We are having it delivered to his dad's office, so hopefully it arrives intact. I hope it makes it there before Xmas...but I guess as long as it makes it there at all, we will be thankful

What experiences have you had sending large packages to Nigeria thru regular USPS? I know its a risk...since they have a reputation of going thru and even stealing stuff. Sometimes the package never gets to the person at all. I am just curious to hear any feedback from anyone who has recently sent something. My hubby says it depends on where its going and how its packed. He said if you wrap all the items with tape several times...it makes it harder for people to go thru it. Plus if u have it delivered to a business address...it stands a better chance. We have a package we're sending for Xmas...and its approx. $700 FEDEX or $200 USPS! My hubby is disgusted with the cost of shipping!!! LOL He's like."we should have just sent the money..it cost twice as much more to ship it than the cost of whats inside..na wah oo!" hahahaha.. I'm like "welcome to America baby"

Anyway...just wondering if anyone has recent experiences to share. I always used FEDEX...except twice I sent him a card...and one got there a month later...the other never go there!

Thanks subbies

OMG......I'm STUFFED!!!!! (Now I know how the turkey feels!!!!!!!!!)

Wonderful news......

Wow sorry guys, I did not mean to bring up such a touchy subject in the touchy subject thread

Actually...not a touchy subject for me, just a personal one....and one I thought was on a more serious note. Not looking for sympathy, was just trying to be hopeful and supportive of the issue posted.

I am thankful for my wonderful, loving, amazing, intelligent, funny caring, romantic, loyal, dedicated, honest and extremely SEXY Nigerian husband!!!!!!!!!

Wow....so much to be thankful for

You guys aint gonna believe this....

The new cosponsor (2nd) said today "I am going to be frank. I can't help because I haven't worked a full time job in 1 and a half years. (I was told that he is a pharmacist by the brother in law of my husband. Evidently he's just pharmacy student). And I wasn't told this upfront because........??? (insert sarcasm and hysterical laughter here. lol)

I am truly amazed now. The only thing that is holding up this process is needing a bonafide cosponsor that has worked somewhere for the last 3 years and has tax returns to prove it. I guess I better just hang it up.

It looks like my husband may not be coming here after all.

Rats!

Don't give up!!!!!!! Are you affiliated with a church or religious group? I know someone who was able to get the pastor from their church to co-sign, and another who sent out a prayer request during several services and another church member offered to co-sign for them.

If you havent tried already...maybe you can send out a plea for help into the cyber world (all your friends, contacts, etc.) and ask them to send it to their friends. Believe it or not, I have heard some amazing stories of people coming to the aide of others in a desperate time of need. It might be a longshot, but its worth a try. The last resort is always to try to get the media involved. I know thats drastic...but if it were me, I would stop at nothing to get my hubby home. Sometimes local newspapers look for human interest stories, and the timing may be good to bring to light the whole stupid immigration process! Especially cuz our new prez has african roots!!!!!!!

And more than anything else..PRAY!!!!! My thoughts and prayers are with you

Another subject that he has a hard time with is the fact that I am 35 years old and my child bearing years are coming to an end. He does not seem to understand that and looks at me like I am crazy. If he wants a biological child, I am running out of time. When we met it did not seems like an issue, but time passes so quickly....

Hogwash, you have plenty of time. Women today are so much more healthy than they were 20 or 30 years ago. If you are taking care of yourself you still have a good 7 or 8 years. I know lots of women who have had beautiful, healthy kids in their early 40s.

Actually no I dont have plenty of time, the women in my family tend to go into menopause in thier early 40s, my sister is 41 and she is starting to show signs. Not to mention that once you are over 35 the rate of birth defects goes up, that has nothing to do with the womans state of health. I have realised that another child is not really a reality for me.

Normally I refrain from sharing too much personal information...but as I read this topic I felt the need to respond. I will be 44 in January. I have 3 kids (ages 22, 21, and 13) Before meeting my hubby (at age 42), I had assumed that I was done having kids. Although I am fairly healthy, I do have some medical problems that I felt would make pregnancy more difficult than previously. I told him right from the start that I didnt feel I wanted anymore children, and he accepted it and it was never talked about again. (he has no children, and is the oldest of 9 kids) But not long into our relationship, I changed my mind. I realized that I never wanted anything so bad in my life. Finally having the love of my life..I desperately wanted to have a child with him.

We decided to leave it in Gods hands. Unfortunately I developed some problems and had to have surgery recently, which may directly effect fertility. It is still unknown whether I will be able to conceive. I actually have an appt with my MD this week to discuss our next step and the options. We both realize the odds are not in our favor, and that there are risks involved, but we are willing to do whatever it takes and feel that if it is meant to be..then God will give us a child. We are aware of birth defects etc...but feel a child is a gift no matter what package it comes in. There are healthy babies born to women over 40 everyday, and it is very common in my hubbys culture, so we are not giving up hope.

This is a very personal issue...and eveyone has differing views, but my hubby feels strongly that God is the ultimate maker, and no matter whether its a natural conception, or an assisted one...God is who gives life. Period.

So with prayers and faith we will continue. We will accept whatever fate brings...Cuz with God...all things are possible.

God Bless

Heaven just got another angel

total congrats. I'm always surprised by the number of questions they ask different couples compared to us. Did you have to go to San Francisco or was there an office closer to you?

Thanks everyone....

We had to go to the Sacramento office.

Hi all

We had our AOS interview today and were approved...

The interview lasted about 30 minutes...but it was a barrage of questions from the second we stepped into the room. After asking for my ID and his passport/visa/EAD/SS card, Here's some of the questions she asked us:

(to both of us)

How did u meet?

How long did u kno each other before u went to Nigeria? How long did u stay?

Why did u decide to marry there?

Where did u stay?

What did u do there?

How/why did u decide to choose to live in the US instead of Nigeria?

(to me specifically)

How did u feel about going there alone for the first time? did u feel awkward? weren't u scared?

How did my son like it there

How many times have u been there?

Where do u work?

# of kids

# of siblings

did u bring any pics from when u were there? (thankfully I included some!)

Whose in these pictures? Where were they taken?

(To hubby specifically)

Do u work/school? Whats the address?

Your wife's birthdate?

Do u have any family members in the US?

# of siblings?

whose in these pics?

any kids?

How do u like where u live now?

At first she was expressionless and intimidating, but she lightened up as we began talking. It became a kinda flowing conversation, turns out she went to school where we live(and loved it here) so she was familiar with our town and made small talk about it!

She mostly seemed to be asking/testing/verifying information from our file, cuz she kept checking off things as she asked them. She didnt ask anything related to our every day life, as some people have said they were asked. We prepared all the proof of ongoing relationship and joint bills etc...but the only thing she wanted to see was the statement from the bank showing our joint acct. She actually kept that copy...but didnt look at anything else, or keep a copy of anything else.

At the end she says..."The reason I am grilling u like this is because it is my job to protect the US citizen. We have alot of fraudulent activity coming from Nigeria, people using US citizens for green card purposes only, so it is my job to make sure this does not happen, and that this relationship is genuine. Do u understand?"

Then she says..."Everything looks good, you are approved, BUT...(holding my breath!) I need for you(hubby) to obtain your original birth certificate, OR an official letter from the local govt counsil stating it is "not available", before your green card will be mailed to you." (we only had the 'declaration of age' document)

So...whewwwwwww! Glad thats over! Anyway...hope this was helpful. Any other questions...just ask.

Good luck and Godspeed to those still waiting. Hang in there everyone!

God Bless

So sorry....

So sorry Mami ...Just know that my thoughts are with you. No man can take from us what we refuse to give him...our integrity and our faith in God. Karma is alive and well! Keep being the strong woman you are and let that little man destroy himself! God has a plan, u can believe that! Call me anytime you wanna talk..or get up my way.

God Bless

Hey girl!!!! Glad to see you were finally able to post. Welcome to the VJ family!

Wonderful news.....Congrats