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Nicky Salmon

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    Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

    in Mexico, Latin & South America

    Posted

    mikeni4.jpg

    this is a old school pic....it is 3 years old....i haven't gotten our wedding pics on the computer yet...i know i should....

    Oh this is such a cute picture!! You must be really tall cause isnt your husband the super tall guy?

    yup....he is 6'7-6'8 depending on the day and i am about 5'11

    Good lord! yall make me look like a midget!

    Hey I am 4'11" to 5' what does that make me :(

    Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

    in Mexico, Latin & South America

    Posted

    <a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff174/lhumphrey01/DSCF0104.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a>

    <a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff174/lhumphrey01/DSCF0102.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a>

    <a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff174/lhumphrey01/DSCF0093.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a>

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    I hope this worked.

    Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

    in Mexico, Latin & South America

    Posted

    **********TUESDAY CHUCKLE**********

    Have a blessed day, Guys!! Don't forget to find time within your busy day just to laugh...it's good for the heart, soul and spirit!!

    Love ya (L),

    Gill

    Jamaican Hell

    A man dies and goes to hell. He discovers that there are different Hells for each country.

    First he goes to the German Hell and asks what they do there. "First, they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for an hour. Then the German Devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." He doesn't like this so he moves on.

    He goes to the U.S. Hell, the Canadian Hell, and the U.K. Hell, and discovers that they are all the same.

    Finally, he comes across a very long line of people waiting to get in and asks,

    "Which Hell is this?" Someone tells him, "Oh,This is the Jamaican Hell"

    "What do they do in here?" He asks.

    "Well, first they put you in an electric chair for an hour, then they lay you on a bed of nails for an hour, then the Jamaican Devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day!"

    "But that is just like all the other Hells". The man said, " Why is the line so long?"

    "Cause inna de Jamaican Hell, the electricity always lock off, the electric chair always naah work, sumbady tief di nail dem, and di Jamaican Devil a public servant, so he cum in an' punch him time card den go a Rum Bar fi play domino fi di rest a di day!"

    That was fully as HELL!!!! :lol: Hello all :)

    My name ain't Stella....

    in Mexico, Latin & South America

    Posted

    Delmar: Rassclaat!!! Mi cyan believe dis gyal give mi a bly so quick. Mi knoa mi lyrics sweet har. Mi have plans fey uh sweet likkle Mya. Mi nuh dun yuh yet mi gyal. Mi have fe breed yuh Mya babes. Gawd he-heellllp mi…mi ago breed har.

    What does this mean in english i am trying and cant understand. This is so good. Keep writing :thumbs:

    I'm sorry Nicky. This is as plain English as it can get:

    "Damn. I can't believe this woman is feeling me so quickly (can also be giving him sex so quickly). I know that my game sounds good to her. I have plans for you sweet little Mya. I'm not done with you yet my girl. I have to plant my seed in you Mya baby. God help me, I have to get her pregnant."

    Feel free to PM for translations if needed. :thumbs:

    Thanks :whistle:

    Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

    in Mexico, Latin & South America

    Posted

    Man, so much reading to catch up on! Phew! lol

    Marie, I am so sorry for your loss, you and your family are in my prayers! (L)

    Congrats Pam on the AOS and DL! :thumbs:

    Nanny: Hot baby ultrasound!

    Former ALienUkGirl: Your son is so precious!

    Congrats on the recent approvals, reunions, and NOAs!

    Mrs. Scott: Finally! Congrats to you and Mr. Scott, your interview will be a success!

    Oh, and I am now NowMrs! Cute name thought of by Nagishkaw!

    Marlon and I are doing great! I have just been so busy with both jobs and playing video games! hehe I am still waiting for the disc of my wedding photos but as soon as I get them I will post!

    Lotsa love to my yardie VJ family!

    Congrats NOWMRS. Tell us about the wedding.

    My name ain't Stella....

    in Mexico, Latin & South America

    Posted

    Delmar: Rassclaat!!! Mi cyan believe dis gyal give mi a bly so quick. Mi knoa mi lyrics sweet har. Mi have plans fey uh sweet likkle Mya. Mi nuh dun yuh yet mi gyal. Mi have fe breed yuh Mya babes. Gawd he-heellllp mi…mi ago breed har.

    What does this mean in english i am trying and cant understand. This is so good. Keep writing :thumbs:

    Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

    in Mexico, Latin & South America

    Posted

    Same with my husband.....never had dreads. And, some of the women on here are talking about hair braiding, so I know those are no.

    OMG.........I have a hair story to tell you..........

    Andre has been growing out his hair a bit lately. And, in between brushings for work, he was locking it a bit by twisting it between his fingers. Saturday, after I had worked all day, came home to have a drink and buzzing a little, he decides I need to take the electric razor and straighten up the lines around his face. I strongly argued against it; but in the end, I decided to try. Well, of course, I cut 2 curls off accidently on the one side and one on another. He threw a fit and ended up shaving it all off (after he made us laugh by shaving off just parts at a time). I told him it was his fault cause he got me all chilled out and then made me cut his hair. I don't think he will do that again.

    :lol::lol::lol: Corey does not have dreds either

    likklebaby.jpg

    So cute. What do you want girl or boy.

    Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

    in Mexico, Latin & South America

    Posted

    Hey Ladies, Just a little joke to share. Enjoy!!!

    Subject: Affairs

    The 1st Affair

    A married man was having an affair

    with his secretary.

    One day they went to her place

    and made love all afternoon.

    Exhausted, they fell asleep

    and woke up at 8 PM.

    The man hurriedly dressed

    and told his lover to take his shoes

    outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

    He put on his shoes and drove home.

    "Where have you been?" his wife demanded.

    "I can't lie to you," he replied,

    "I'm having an affair with my secretary.

    We had sex all afternoon."

    She looked down at his shoes and said:

    "You lying #######!

    You've been playing golf!"

    The 2nd Affair

    A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters

    but always talked about having a son.

    They decided to try one last time

    for the son they always wanted.

    The wife got pregnant

    and delivered a healthy baby boy.

    The joyful father rushed to the nursery

    to see his new son.

    He was horrified at the ugliest child

    he had ever seen.

    He told his wife: "There's no way I can

    be the father of this baby.

    Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!

    Have you been fooling around behind my back?"

    The wife smiled sweetly and replied:

    "Not this time!"

    The 3rd Affair

    A mortician was working late one night.

    He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz,

    about to be cremated,

    and made a startling discovery.

    Schwartz had the largest private part

    he had ever seen!

    "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician

    commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated

    with such an impressive private part.

    It must be saved for posterity."

    So, he removed it,

    stuffed it into his briefcase,

    and took it home

    "I have something to show

    you won't believe," he said to his wife,

    opening his briefcase.

    "My God!" the wife exclaimed,

    "Schwartz is dead!"

    The 4th Affair

    A woman was in bed with her lover

    when she heard her husband

    opening the front door.

    "Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."

    She rubbed baby oil all over him,

    then dusted him with talcum powder.

    "Don't move until I tell you,"

    she said, "pretend you're a statue."

    "What's this?" the husband inquired

    as he entered the room.

    "Oh it's a statue," she replied,

    "the Smiths bought one and I liked it

    so I got one for us, too."

    No more was said,

    not even when they went to bed.

    Around 2 AM the husband got up,

    went to the kitchen and returned

    with a sandwich and a beer.

    "Here," he said to the statue, have this.

    I stood like that for two days at the Smiths

    and nobody offered me a damned thing."

    The 5th Affair

    A man walked into a cafe,

    went to the bar and ordered a beer.

    "Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."

    "One Cent?" the man exclaimed.

    He glanced at the menu and asked:

    "How much for a nice juicy steak

    and a bottle of wine?"

    "A nickel," the barman replied.

    "A nickel?" exclaimed the man.

    "Where's the guy who owns this place?"

    The bartender replied:

    "Upstairs, with my wife."

    The man asked: "What's he doing upstairs

    with your wife?"

    The bartender replied:

    "The same thing I'm doing

    to his business down here."

    The 6th Affair

    Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside

    He looked up and said weakly:

    "I have something I must confess."

    "There's no need to, "his wife replied.

    "No," he insisted,

    "I want to die in peace.

    I slept with your sister, your best friend,

    her best friend, and your mother!"

    "I know," she replied,

    "now just rest and let the poison work."

    :lol::lol::lol::lol: That is to funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hello everyone. Hope your day is going great.

    Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

    in Mexico, Latin & South America

    Posted

    I know what you mean. After leaving an abusive Ja man after being married for 13 years, I swore off JA men and marriage till I met Mike. I want nothing more than to have him here with me so we can get married and start our lives together. :dance::dance:

    I met Corey when i went to Jamaica with a friend who was adopting a child from there. My friend use to date his brother. Corey came to visit her and when I came out of the house it was love at first sight. I could not stop giggling and smiling at him. He kept looking at me and smiling. My friend was like ok are ya'll going to do that all day or are you going to say hello.

    After that we were inseparable. I was only there for a week. I spent alot of time with him. When I returned to the United States we started talking on the phone everyday talking to each other. I went back to jamaica a month later. While I was there Corey asked me to marry him. I said yes. I met his family and they treated me like i belonged. When I came back to the US i was sick because i missed him so much. Don't get me wrong we still talk everyday sometimes 4 times a day.

    It is funny because the day Corey asked me to marry him, he told me that he needed to go to the store and that he would be right back. He came back two hours later. I was so mad i yelled at him and walked into the bathroom. When I came out of the bathroom he was on one knee with a ring in his hand. I felt so bad. He said it took him so long because he was trying to find the perfect ring for me. sigh!!!!

    Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

    in Mexico, Latin & South America

    Posted

    Wow well he's a good 4 years older than my husband. But I swear my huband is 50! He doesnt even have friends in their 20's. All his friends are 30something and older, even to the point where they could be our parents age!!

    Corey is 28. He hangs out with older people also. I wonder what that is about. HE IS ALSO THE ONE WHO WANTS TO SAVE MONEY WHILE I AM A SPENDAHOLIC

    Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

    in Mexico, Latin & South America

    Posted

    **********THURSDAY CHUCKLE************

    Hang in there guys...we almost there :D (Most of you have probably seen this one already, but it still cracks me up, hope it does the same for you! :lol:)

    Enjoy (L) ,

    Gill

    ********************************************************************************

    *****************

    De Crotchless Panties

    This Jamaican woman felt that her love life was slipping because her husband had no more interest in sex. While shopping one day, she passed an adult shop and saw some crotchless panties, so she decided to buy one and try to use it to excite and seduce him.

    That evening she took a long bath, put on a favorite perfume, and then she put on a sexy negligee and her new crotchless panties. Then she slithered into the room where her husband was watching TV as usual.

    She stands right in front of him, with one foot resting high on the ottoman, negligee wide open, and whispers "yu wah some a dis?".

    Her husband looks up at her wide-eyed and says. "No sah, yu mad, yuh nuh see wha it do to yu panty!"

    :lol::lol::lol: That is so funny. Hello everyone hopefully your having a great day! This is my first day off in a month and i just don't know what to do with myself.

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