Teddy406

With a little more research I was able to find the official government site where you can obtain them online.

http://www.gro.gov.uk/gro/content/

Thanks all.

I used them, they were fine.

Glad to hear that you're more confident about the move now Teddy!!

Just wondering, if it's not too personal, what were the worries that you found out not to be true? Maybe it would dispel a myth that other people are also worried about.

Good luck with the move

xxxxx poiteen

Thank You, It was a personal thing actually unique to my situation but it meant a lot.

I have a dilemma, I'm getting all my paper work together for the next stage of the visa application (DCF, spousal application through London) and one of the forms are asking me about what criminal record or even arrests I have. At the age of 18 I was convicted of Burglary and am now 34, Ive had nothing since and it was just a teenage blip. I was wondering if I should really declare it because according to all the check I have done the offence isn't recorded, for example.

I have had the police report done by West Yorkshire Police and it has come back clean

I have in my past had the top level of CRB check done for looking after foster children and that has come back clean

So according to the CRB and the Police Criminal computer I haven't been convicted of any crime.

My additional worry is that if I admit on the visa application of the offence, I can see the question coming back to me "So why have you declared no offence on the VWP the 10 times you have entered the US as a visitor"

The more I read about this the more I worry, can anybody offer me their opinion.

I believe burglary is a crime of "moral turpitude". I think you may very well have to consult a qualified immigration attourney to be honest, and explain your situation. I know the rehabilitation of offenders act which would wipe the offence from your record DOES NOT apply in the USA.

Just my opinion, since I'm around.

Just to let you all know, I believe I can do this move now. The fear is slowly going after I thought how much my number one priority is to be with my fiancée and be with her forever. I'm still anxious, just not REALLY anxious.

In this last week while coming to this decision a couple of things happened which gave me a sign that this is right.

I found out a very big thing regarding the move I was worried about, was a load of rubbish and wasnt true.

Two other unrelated things that I was worried about for a long time also resolved themselves without a hitch.

If you admit to taking drugs of any kind in the past you will be denied and have to file a waiver, ALWAYS tell the truth to immigration.

Why would I answer truthfully if my answer is guaranteed to result in a denial?

It's a catch-22 situation I'm afraid, but no one here on VJ should give you advice that consists of "don't tell them about the drugs/lie to USCIS" - that would be wrong and VJ does not condone that sort of advice.

As I remember correctly, the questionnaire does ask questions about alcohol, depression and drug use.

If i recall correctly, the question asks for abuse or addiction to recreational drugs. What you could do is leave it blank and discuss with the medical examiner exactly what your situation was and let them decide whether its a "yes / no " thing.

Just a quick thought, since I really think you need to see your girl. I noticed your local office in the US is Vermont - does this mean she lives near Canada? You could always fly into Canada and meet up with her there for a weekend to talk things out. She won't have to quit her job and you'll better be able to sort things out.

Good luck, Teddy! I hope you can find a way to believe again.

We did that - Toronto 4 times - big hot bath for 2 in a nice hotel - niagara falls but thats was all ....yaberdaberdoo

oo you are awful...

2 of those were 'make up' meetings and they were both successes

Without Canada we would not have made it... Yonge street Toronto - mega

I got there 3 days early to get over jet lag and ended up in a gay bar - they are all gay bars actually - well I didnt know...

Got out with my crown jewels intact I am glad to report.

But I am retired with lots of time and a wad and it isnt so easy for Teddy I would guess...

But highly recommended if it is possible - she can do a 3 day weekend and he can do 5 days and get over the lag and scout out the fun places before she arrives...

cn tower - revolving restaurant - not expensive - v romantic except when you stand on the glass floor x billion feet up - no cancel, cancel not for the anxious ! just kiddin' it's really good... alan

Mate, its fear holding me back and fogging the issue, I didnt doubt that my fiancée was the one, I doubted that we could survive bad times, I thought/ convinced myself I'd answered something wrong on my medical/interview and they would find it out years later and I'd be deported ruining our lives, all that crazy stuff, and that the only way to avoid it was to punish myself now.

But how do you know they will happen untill these things from likely to EXTREMELY UNLIKELY happen?

I just have to stop thinking and worrying and do. Nuff sed.

Back to the original post in this thread, I did K1, went to the U.S. applied for AOS, abandoned it and went back in again on visa waiver to help Carolyn sell her house and put her furniture in store... no problem. It would be a good idea to take evidence of continuing ties...

Also, if the visa has not expired they will check you in as K1 - and if you formally abandon it, and you go visa waiver, take the letter from uscis that acknowledes that (if you ever get it !)

I emailed the London Embassy first and they said it would not be a problem if I was otherwise qualified - ie british Subject and no refusals...

hardest part was convincing the BMI dragon at Manchester airport - SHE tried to ban me but could not find her supervisor to endorse her decision so she reluctantly let me fly....POE in USA very friendly and looked at my return ticket and stamped me in...

lot easier for her to come here for a week..bring her to Darwen, Lancashire and she will feel so sorry for you she will kidnap you and take you back hold luggage...

http://www.blackburn.gov.uk/server.php?show=ConWebDoc.25685

thanks, that's nice to know should things need "adjusting"

I'm starting to be able to "figure" this out. I think I can do this, I just need to believe. I dont want to keep flip flopping so I am going to take the advice of "gone", break things down and go for what I truly want as #1 and ignore all the "but, but, buts!!" and the negative "what ifs?" that may never be applicable. You can't worry about what MAY happen, only deal with stuff if it does. I guess if you look on the positive side of things and adapt to situations, you can't lose.

Thanks guys,

Teddy.

If you have ever had a major panic attack, I can tell you its probably the worst experience of your life. After those, I feel different, it's hard to sort out what my rational thoughts and feelings are against my "YOU DONT WANT TO GO THROUGH THAT EVER AGAIN, DO ANYTHING TO AVOID" feelings and thoughts. That's the best way I can describe it, if you add that to the fact that there ARE legitimate concerns for me regarding the enviroment we would be in for reasons I dont want to go into tbh...then well, ugh. I feel burnt out and a mess and need time to recover, which unfortuntely is now more a concern since the issuance of the visa.

9 months is a long time to be apart when you are feeling progressively tense, things change and you arent coping with them together, it's easier to remember the strength you can draw from your SO when they are hugging you and telling you it will be fine as long as you are together, rather then trying to understand over skype as you sit on your own with your head in your hands.

Hi,

I've just read this entire thread and i'm sorry you are in this situation.

In reading, two things stuck out. The first is the panic attack you had. It sounds like it has paralyzed you to some degree. The second is the whole visa/marriage/timeline situation.

You have received a lot of very good advice here and most of it I agree with, however it seems to me that perhaps you need to give yourself a break.

Your life and that of your girlfriend is not dictated by U.S. Immigration, nor is it dictated by your families, it's dictated by you two. You may not feel like you are able to make the move in the next four months - it doesn't matter. You obviously love each other and just because you have gone through the visa process doesn't mean you have to use it.

You probably do need to see each other, why not take the opportunity to fly over and see her and talk and just be together. If you are unable to do that because of your anxiety (or for whatever reason) why not have her fly over to see you.

Something saywhat said is very very true - the immigration part of all this is a 'detail'. You don't have to get married right away, you don't have to go to the U.S. (although even a short trip there isn't a bad idea), she can come to see you and doesn't have to commit to living there. Just because you two might take a more relaxed approach to this doesn't mean it's not real and that it won't work in the long run.

Take care, be easy on yourself.

Thank you,

I suggested her coming here (on a extended vacation) but because I've been so out of character and all over the place, my fiancée is a little reluctant to do so if it involves leaving her job, which it may well have to to come visit, so it feels like we are in a paradox. I've had my clock cleaned with anxiety and fear and she is rightfully now a little wary because I have been so out of character and having massive "swings" of mood and decisions.

I did say to her, this is the ONE TIME i wish you were "down the road" so we could just meet up and have some fun outside of all this "life changing pressure and decisions", then I'm sure I/we'd know, so we are working on things.

Teddy.

I dont mean to try and sound like a big man, but I made the decision to commit my life to someone 4000 miles away while continually being called strange, mad and wierd and i didnt doubt myself once for those years. I didnt 'play around', I didnt look for "better offers", I didnt take liberties that distance would allow or anything like that. I made a bigger commitment in dating in a way than a lot of people do when they move in with each other or get married without "meaning it".

To even write down that you are somehow different because you didn't consider 'taking liberties' or go after 'better offers'???? Well, I'm speechless.

People have said it's been harsh here & maybe that's what you need Teddy. Panic attacks are crippling, I am aware. But they can also be an excuse as well. Good luck. I think the answer is within and not on VJ. You are either committed to this woman & your lives together or you're not. End of story.

hey, Im not saying I'm different to you or anyone in particular but I have seen people behave disgustingly when in a relationship and to have some of them say to me "you could get away with loads of stuff" to me was frankly mind boggling.

I dont believe its a badge of honour, just as "I've never been to prison" isnt. It's what you are supposed to do. I was frankly more shocked at the amount of people I came across whose attitude towards relationships was ####### and were always looking for something better and I pitied them and their supposed others, never happy, always looking for a better option. Awful. It seems that if you have something right there, you take it for granted. Anyone here who has been in a long distance relationship and committed for a long time knows how precious moments and people are, probably more so than anybody else.

My point was even though i didnt have the benefits that some people had who had relationships with people in the same country, such as getting to spend time with them with no heartbreak and longing and tears and missing, but people who had never had to wait months and count down the days to stroke hair or hold hands or feel their SO's breath on their neck seem to have a crapper attitude to relationships and the value of the smallest thing.

So again, it was more my surprise over the years that very few people around me seemed to be in love or know what the word meant, it was just that to them, a word.

My point was that people questioning "Do I really love my fiancée or am I just fond of them", my answer is that "Yes, I do" because i know how she makes me feel from 4000 miles away when people who have people on the doorstep couldnt buy that feeling.

Sorry for any confusion,

teddy

If Teddy is in a place even slightly like I was in, the capacity to think straight is elusive. That's why I had to list out priorities. Not until I did that did the solution present itself.

Top priority, be with Tracy. I worked to that and "handled" everything else. It's working out just fine and I'm glad I did it that way. Go easy on him please.

Thank you. I can make decisions, I have made a lot of tough decisions in my life, I have made tough life decisions while most of my friends were still boozing and partying everyday, missing lectures without a care in the world. I dont mean to try and sound like a big man, but I made the decision to commit my life to someone 4000 miles away while continually being called strange, mad and wierd and i didnt doubt myself once for those years. I didnt 'play around', I didnt look for "better offers", I didnt take liberties that distance would allow or anything like that. I made a bigger commitment in dating in a way than a lot of people do when they move in with each other or get married without "meaning it".

I think most of you all did too, which is why i turned here for sage advice.

The point is that we are all here because we have a love abroad. That's one thing that people here will and should understand over anybody close to me or my fiancée, who has much simpler things to worry about as far as I am concerned, like knowing that if something big comes up, they have support to lean on and other established "pillars of strength" to lean on to get them through tough times.

I appreciate for some people here, this part was a piece of p*ss, pack up, flight, job done right? But i'm sure no one here has endured a hassle free relationship without tough times whilst they were together or apart. Im only asking on VJ because, like I said, im sure there were people on here that must know how I feel, you get these feelings magnified by ten because of the stress involved of USCIS as well as a wedding and to boot you are left to deal with them on your own because your fiancée is away waiting for you to come.

If you have ever had a major panic attack, I can tell you its probably the worst experience of your life. After those, I feel different, it's hard to sort out what my rational thoughts and feelings are against my "YOU DONT WANT TO GO THROUGH THAT EVER AGAIN, DO ANYTHING TO AVOID" feelings and thoughts. That's the best way I can describe it, if you add that to the fact that there ARE legitimate concerns for me regarding the enviroment we would be in for reasons I dont want to go into tbh...then well, ugh. I feel burnt out and a mess and need time to recover, which unfortuntely is now more a concern since the issuance of the visa.

9 months is a long time to be apart when you are feeling progressively tense, things change and you arent coping with them together, it's easier to remember the strength you can draw from your SO when they are hugging you and telling you it will be fine as long as you are together, rather then trying to understand over skype as you sit on your own with your head in your hands.

Again, Im not having a pop at anyone here, thanks for taking the time to read and come back to me, and all the posts have been helpfull, some very funny too but it's true what "gone" said you just dont "snap out" of something like this. Sorry if it appears like I couldnt decide between sunshine burst and funshine burst paint from B and Q for the living room, whether I should have porridge or cereal for breakfast, or whether New Order were better than Joy Division but it's not even in the same ballpark, is it?

Teddy I am not going to bed until you decide ! It's popping my skull now.

You are being most contradictory..If it's 'I love her but' then we can forget the 'I love her'.. I have been there, done the guilt thing..

thats called being 'immensely fond'

If there is no 'but' then do it and never look back or you will kick yourself... forget the immigration thing thats a detail....

This isnt romantic stuff I am talking - I am very unromantic - I bought Carolyn a cup for her birthday - but you have to face facts and

if she is the one then there is no decision to make...

My chief accountant had a nervous breakdown when he married a beautiful gentle nurse. They took him from the wedding reception to a nut house (sorry, mental hospital) - literally- gibbering wild eyed talking rot and trying to run away through the park

It was because he was scared he didnt love her enough and GOD would punish him.

That was 25 years ago - he recovered in 3 months coz I cured him with beer every night - - got a top finance director job and he is still with her and they have 2 great kids and everyone is so envious of him - she is wonderful !

anxiety attack on a mega scale !

You are a funny dude, but my head seems all over the place right now, I swing back and forth on this whole subject, fluctuating on my feelings, my decision and such. Im about to leave the office for home, ill be back!

I have done the same thing, including living my life as if I was staying and the relationship was inevitably going to end, but it still doesnt feel "right". It feels a "relief" now, but not "right"

Sometimes I wish I was a woman then I would know what this means....

I'm a woman & I can't tell either!

I meant, the though of staying is a "relief" , but it doesnt feel 100% right. I think my biggest fears are also the red flags like my fiancée saying she is miserable with her work/friends/family but it will be all ok when I get there. I on the other hand really like my life here except for her not being here. She said she would come over, but may want to return to America. I said I didnt know if that would be a good idea if we were having a good life here, thus the stalemate and the pull of "staying".

Hi Teddy. I completely understand where you're coming from as I also had anxiety attacks about leaving my home, my job, my family and friends. In essence, my entire support system. I delayed putting my house on the market. I delayed handing in my resignation at work. I had my then-fiancé contact the powers that be to request an extension of the visa expiration date. (They said no.) The only result of all that waffling was to heap even more stress upon my already stressed-out self. Two days before the visa expired, I came to the US.

At first, the adjustment to my new environment was 50% hard and 50% easy. 25% of the difficulty I can attribute to adjusting to living with another person after being on my own for so many years. The other 25% I can attribute to adjusting to the American way of life. Things like having to establish a new identity from scratch; how they do and say things differently than the British or the Canadians.... having difficulty finding the products I am used to (I moved to Canada from England, but it's quite easy to find British goods in Canada. A bit more of a challenge to find them in the US.)

Anyway, after almost one year, I am now down to a 5% difficulty of adjustment. And in that 5%, I'm only mildly annoyed by the things which once made me highly annoyed.

Though I miss my old home(s), my family and friends (now in two countries instead of one) I am glad that I made this move. Sometimes the loneliness is strong, most times it is not. I visit Canada every few months. I'll go back to England next year. My relatives and friends come to visit and we have fun. Time has passed quickly, and I am happy here.

You need to make a decision, Teddy, to put both yourself and your fiancée out of this misery. Prolonging the agony is a bit like tearing a plaster off an arm one hair at a time. Not so painless when you do it quickly, but torture when done slowly. One thing to keep in mind while you're mulling over your decision..... if you are truly in love and break this off with your fiancée, are you going to be able to live the rest of your life wishing every day that you could be with her; wondering who she is with and what she is doing; wondering what could have been? At least if you try, and fail, you'll have put forth an effort. But if you try and succeed.... well.... wouldn't that be wonderful?

I wish you all the best, Teddy. Good luck in whichever direction you choose. You're going to need it either way.

I have done the same thing, including living my life as if I was staying and the relationship was inevitably going to end, but it still doesnt feel "right". It feels a "relief" now, but not "right"

life's too short - what seems like a few months ago I was 42 and dancing in a night club in England at 4.30am to Duran Duran - with 30 Dutch footballers who were as drunk as me.

Alan - you always crack me up! That has to be one of the funniest things I've ever read on VJ and can picture the scene clearly!! I wish you and Carolyn were going to end up in the US nearer to Griff and me. I think you guys would be good mates to go out with for a pint!

Sorry Teddy. Back to topic.

It's ok, that was a pretty funny interlude :-)

I just dont know how to come to an answer, when your heart and head are spinning!

But I would lying if I said it wasn't hard. If you both agree that if it doesn't work out for you (after you give it your best effort) you can both go back to the UK together - what have you got to lose really? You won't know unless you try. And anyways, I always say (with help from Gibby Hayne) - it's better to regret the things you did do than regret the things you didn't do.

It's a very hard adjustment. My hubby has been here 9 months & he is still struggling. But we are struggling together & that is something.

Teddy, the longer you wait to see her, the harder it is. you've been in an LDR relationship for 3 years, but how much time has been spent doing normal life stuff, like laundry, groceries, etc? That's when it's not easy. And why 9 months apart? That's a long time for a country as close as the UK.

Do you love her? Do you want to be with her forever? Have babies/dogs/cats/etc? I have to say, it kinda sounds like you are doubting it. And that's not fair to her - to keep her hanging on.

Just my opinion. I truly hope you work it out.

Well, we filed as soon as i returned from the US, then with the visa processing and problems getting an interview and my funk, it's added up to 9 months.

And to be fair, I had suffered anxiety/panic during the medical/interview process and that changed everything, I feel as though my "fear of the worst" is holding me back.

It isn't my fiancée, not at all, it's about protecting our relationship and giving it a chance to blossom together. She is a great girl and had said she would come to the UK, but she may one day want to go back to America, I have this psuedo fear of the worst happening in me going to America and me ruining her life. I hate doing forms and get scared I'll put "the wrong thing" and get into trouble at a later date . It sounds crazy, but it's true.

I dont doubt my fiancée is "the one", I dont want anyone else, but I am scared/anxious about this all going wrong and two lives being ruined, one being 000's of miles from their home.

You can tell me to climb a tree, Teddy, if you prefer not to answer - but I'm curious as to how long you and your fiancee dated (or had the LDR) before you applied for the visa?

3 years, and for those 3 years, I couldnt even think of anything else, I let other aspects of my life slide just to spend a few extra minutes on the phone a night. Never a moments doubt untill i had severe anxiety over all this and since then I have been a muddle.

And as for the enormity of it, i likened to a sport where you just charge for the line and are solely focussed on the finish line, but right near at the end, you suddenly look over your shoulder and see the pack chasing you and wish you hadnt looked till the very end.

You can tell me to climb a tree, Teddy, if you prefer not to answer - but I'm curious as to how long you and your fiancee dated (or had the LDR) before you applied for the visa?

3 years, and for those 3 years, I couldnt even think of anything else, I let other aspects of my life slide just to spend a few extra minutes on the phone a night. Never a moments doubt untill i had severe anxiety over all this and since then I have been a muddle.

I think everyone who faces immigration has his/her moments of doubt. It is a massive life change, and doing it for love makes it a bit easier, but its still tough. It will be a big adjustment for you. I'm sure your decision making process isn't made any easier by well-meaning family and friends telling you they want you to stay. But as you say, its your fiancee that this is truly terrible for. She is at your mercy. And trust me, its agony for her (I know I've been in her position waiting for my fiance to decide if he could actually make the move, - like you his worry was about its being BIG move. I'm just grateful we went through it before we started the process.) You need to put aside what everyone else wants you to do and do some serious soul searching to figure out what YOU truly want. Figure out what you are really so afraid of. Its really not fair to leave your fiancee hanging like this. Family and friends are great, but they are not a replacement for a loving life companion. Its sounds like you really love your girl, but if you don't have the courage to emmigrate, then have the courage to let her go and get on with her life.

Teddy - I'm sorry if I sound harsh. I don't mean to, its just that its so hard to be on the waiting end, so I just want you to understand how truly awful it is to be the waiting person.

To be fair, I have expressed my concerns and what I feel and been brutally honest. I did say to her, I'd rather let her go because I do love her than ruin her life by making this change under great pressure and without 100% commitment. My fiancée's "support situation" (job/family/friends) outside of our relationship in the USA, maybe isnt as strong as mine here is in the UK (in my opinion). On the other hand, the wedding **has** to be in the USA, due to family demands.

Her reaction was that "you love me, this HAS to work if we work hard and both love each other"

No, you don't sound harsh and I wish i'd had this BEFORE the interview and issuance, but I cant control my feelings. I am constantly toying with the "gamble, you can do it (emmigrate) more than her" thought.

The K-1 visa is valid for six months. If it isn't executed it will expire and be null and void.

Thanks.

Where is the best place to look for UK visas and information?

It is looking like my fiancée might come here now instead. When we get married, it will still hopefully be in the US, but right now, we are looking at living together in the UK first, then going at a later date to marry. Is this possible? To bring a long term partner over to the UK to live with but without a wedding planned?

Teddy.

I am fairly sure she could only come as a visitor and I bet a pound to a penny the UK immigration officer at the port would deny her entry if they got wind of the circumstances. If she did get in as a visitor it would only be 6 months at most. She could come on a fiancee visa or spouse visa but I guess that isn't what you are looking for.

UK visa info at http://www.ind.homeoffice.gov.uk/

That's correct.

And for all the opinions one can read on the web about UK immigration being easier and simpler than in the US, there's definitely one area where it's not easier.

Once a USC enters the UK, they can't just up and marry their UK partner. The United Kingdom will not issue marriage licenses (or whatever they may be called over there) to any couple unless both are either UK citizens or the non-citizen partner has a fiance visa.

At least in America a VWP entrant from the UK can marry in the US. You can't do that across the pond.

Unless things changed in the past 5 years, I was able to enter the UK on my visitor passport for 6 months in 2002 apply for a marriage (however you have to be in the uk for over 15 days to apply), get a marriage license, and marry my (now ex-husband) fiance at the time in a civil ceremony. I had no problems at all. I was asked at the POE what my reason for visiting was, I said visiting friends and to meet my fiance's family, they asked if we had any plans to marry and stay in the UK I said no, he said no (he was traveling with me) they saw our return tickets, and then once I was there and met his parents we decided to get married. So it wasn't a lie we were just really effing stupid and did something neither of us were ready for...I did however return home after the marriage, at that time he was supposed to come to the usa, instead his family insisted I move to the UK (which I was in tatters over), his father came a month later to "fetch" me, and he went and got a visa on my behalf in New York and we flew out the next day. Non UKC's - (in fact two non UKC's can marry in the UK if they so desire) can marry without special visas as long as you have clear intent to leave the country on expiry of your visitors visa.

On a personal note, my ex's change of heart (as well as other things) about moving the US was a major factor in the downfall of our relationship. I wish you the best of luck though in whatever you decide to do - do what is best for the both of you.

Edit (i didn't read the whole length of the discussion before posting lol apparently the shtuff has changed! but oh well that's my experience anyway)

Well, the personal note really helped because that's about where I am, I do love my fiancée to bits, I just didnt forsee this big freak out / anxiety over leaving the UK. It's not that I think America is any "better" or "worse" than here, because I believe your life is what you make it wherever you are. It purely is whether just love alone can get us through all this. We are both independent people and neither REALLY like the idea of being dependent on the other and giving up our independence short term, its scary.

I just want to see my fiancée again and have fun and have a reminder of why we wanted to marry in the first place, its been 9 months now but now we arent in the position to visit each other.

In my head, it literally is on a knife edge, it feels like I *can* do it, I need time, which I'm running out of(visa status). I would think most normal people who are marrying for love get some kind of "cold feet" and anxiety over leaving.

I dont mean to be disingenuous to ANYBODY, but if you are marrying purely for the GC which some people clearly do, then going to America is the most important thing to you and all the extras like your family/friends/enviroment are a distant second, because you've clearly decided you want to live abroad first and foremost as opposed to have a good life together forever with your SO.

My head is spinning on this and I'm trying to bury my head in the sand and hope "it solves itself", but it isnt going to.

Nobody quite understands here and thinks im just doing things on a "whim", they all want me to stay (it's nice to have good friends and a family) and dont understand how I can "flip flop" , and I really feel the most for my fiancée because of the strain and the questions this is posing to her. Anybody else have this and do a last minute jump on the plane and throw caution to the wind?

I just dont know what to do, I have a great life here and was feeling really anxious about leaving / going to America and only having my fiancée as a support (no job/family/friends/car/legal rights). My fiancée was planning a biggish wedding, I felt that the twin things of getting the big wedding and emmigrating and all the questions and pressure was really affecting me, so we put things on hold.

Its been a couple of months of "limbo" and I am feeling a lot better and the anxiety is passing but I really dont know what to do...we are one third through our 6 month visa issuance period now and I dont know what the answer is, I just dont know how to make things right.

This is really affecting my fiancée, naturally, and I hate myself sometimes, but I still have a large part of me that wants to stay and bring my fiancée here, I like America, but I was only interested in going to be with my fiancée, not for a green card because I had nothing going for me here.

My fiancée , friends and family are all annoyed by my constant "flux" and dont seem to really understand

Im really torn and trying to work out what I can live with and without. I love my fiancée and wish i could "merge realities" and remove all the red tape / distance but I cant, it feels like "all or nothing" right now.

If anyone has some good advice, I'd love to hear it, Im feeling low about this and dont want to do something I'll regret for the rest of my life.

Teddy.

The K-1 visa is valid for six months. If it isn't executed it will expire and be null and void.

Thanks.

Where is the best place to look for UK visas and information?

It is looking like my fiancée might come here now instead. When we get married, it will still hopefully be in the US, but right now, we are looking at living together in the UK first, then going at a later date to marry. Is this possible? To bring a long term partner over to the UK to live with but without a wedding planned?

Teddy.

Hello all,

If your visa is granted and stamped in your passport, but you do not end up going to the US, is there any action you need to take other than to let it expire?

Will it affect any future visit to the United States, such as the Visa Waiver Program? What about if you apply again?

I dont want to particularily go into the "whys and whathaveyous" over this, but right now, I'm not sure I will be able to go and be with my fiancée in the time allocated by the visa.

Thank You for any advice, and I wish everyone else here continuing success in their journey,

Teddy.

I am marrying a UK citizen. We are going through the I-129F process and will live here in the US at least for a while. I am wonderng what it takes, if even possible, to get a British passport.

When I visit his family do I go stand in the "tourist" line? Can I go through with him? I'm assuming in order to gain citizenship or permanent residency I would have to be living in the UK and I would have to go through a similar process to which he is going through here to live here in the US with me. I know our children would have British citizenship.

Also, what happens if we want to move to England? Will we have to be separated for long? It's very tough, as you know, and once is enough. Just need info.

Thanks,

Sheila

You have to be legally resident in the UK for something like 3 years for a spouse, mine took 5 years of residency but I got that through work not marriage. THe UK spousal visa is very quick to get (a matter of days not months).

Yep, three years is right. The first two years on further leave to remain, then apply for indefinite leave to remain and a year after that apply for citizenship. It is all much much easier and so much faster than UK to US immigration. As long as you show everything they ask for, you should be able to get further leave to remain (aka spousal visa) by mail within a week maybe two. You won't have to be separated at all. You won't need this visa until you actually move to England. You can visit for up to six months (without working) with just your passport.

Before getting a UK visa, you still have to go through the normal tourist line. After you get the visa, there's a slightly shorter line for visa holders. I imagine that your husband could come through those lines with you though.

yeah, when I found out you just texted the embassy "Id like 2 ntr da Uk 2 marry pls" and they go "you good to go? Ok, here you go, have a good life, VOTE LABOUR" and voilá, i couldnt decide whether it was a good or bad thing.

Compared to the "Whole life / heritage in a case folder, give us your dna" approach the US takes.

I mean, on the one hand if its more secure then good, but on the other hand, when you are missing your SO, the extra security/red tape is a real bum.

Or even better a symbol that represents 'angry fiancee' - perhaps something like this:

the prospect of getting a telling off from my fiancee will probably be enough to remind me not to open my brown envelope when i get it.

Haha, that's angry? That's not even "pinched my last rolo" angry.

I think I'm in the minority here but I don't find any of those "offensive". Nosy yes, but not totally offensive. After all, these are marriage-based AOS questions. Much of the "joint" documentation requested (including photos) can be easily staged or obtained... it's not as easy to fake in-person interaction.

My take on interview questions is this: I think they are less concerned with the actual answers (unless your answers raise red flags) and more interested in the way you answer, interact with each other and your body language. You can tell a lot about a person through speech patterns and body language. Anyone who's been through a lot of questions by CBP can attest to this. Example: "Where do you work? What do you do? How many people work there? How many people do what you do at work? Do you rent or own? Who are you visiting? etc.". When asked these things they're paying close attention to your speech patterns and body language when you answer.

I've read elsewhere questions that are WAY too specific for a spouse to know (e.g. how many pairs of shoes does the wife own?). Most husbands wouldn't know the answer but if they did that might also be a red flag that the couple practiced their answers.

Yeah, I'd agree. I've only done my K1 interview, but I dont think the key is to get all the questions "right", it's to ask a lot of questions to "suss you out" . They ask you lots of questions and judge your reactions and character, ask you "gimme" questions to see your standard mood/response, then ask "other" questions to see how you respond.

I mean, if they asked if the baby was yours and you were a little indignant, I wonder if that would even count against you? It seems like a natural reaction to me if someone questions the parentage of your child.