It just goes to show that you need to know your fiance very well, and pay attention to the red flags that wack you in the head, and sometimes you then ignore. these need to be addressed right away, if your fiance is a good and honest man/woman, Honestly in love and really yours, then they will understand your hesitation, your questions, your rants and emotional breakdowns.
My first Nigerian marriage didn't work out at all, because he had a habit of promising the world, and just hoping that God would make a puppet out of him and make all the words true, and that's not how it works. he gave me many red flags that i ignored, like "we'll get to know each other better when I get there" and "whatever you wish hunny", and " I'm not used to such questions hunny," "that singles site is for my friends to use," "I'm talking to her for my friends pretending to be them so they can meet her" and then the clincher " shut up and do as your told!". In my case, I made the decision after marriage, and before AOS that it was not going to work out, and convinced him to go to Egypt on his advanced parol for Ramadan and then removed my support via uscis, and that instantly denied his return, he spent a year begging me to take him back.
I have been FAR more careful with my present Fiance, he never keeps a darn thing from me, and refuses to flirt even when incouraged, We've had a 4 year relationship prior to my eventual application, and he never once pressured me, and in fact seriously considered me moving there, only thwarted by the lack of pay at any job.
so definately be careful, know him/her WELL, ask a billion questions, NO SECRETS. It's a shame that so many wonderful, loyal, handsome men have to deal with the bad decisions of a few. because Nigerians are raised to be loyal, and patient, and to view a marriage as permanent. My Ayo was made for me by God and although not perfect, (I'd be suspicious of that) we work out our differences with paitience.
Olorun bukun Nigeria
Ife Ayodele
