Peter winfrey

Just now, shell20 said:

I totally understand what you mean. I never thought it would be such a vast difference. I often see my friends online from England and they have had a good night out and I miss that. I do go home often to curb that home sickness and I am due to be meeting my friend from England in NYC and the first thing they said to me when they booked it was lets hit the bars!     

 

I don't know what to say, I came here as my husband had children still at school and my son was grown up. WE have discussed moving to England, although being older it might be harder for us to settle and I am hesitant if my husband will even like it over there, as its such a different way of life.  I guess its something you need to discuss with your wife and see if you can both find a solution. I have often spoken to my husband about moving state and jobs as we are in the country and I am more a city girl, but unfortunately the job opportunities over here have not been forthcoming.  So which ever way we turn its hard, but its made us stronger as a couple. 

They say that brits will assimilate into the USA quite easily, but the opposite is doesn't really work. I think that Americans have the best standard of living and it is definitely a better country, but at the same time it's not home. Home is where your people are, the people who are like you. It's really hard to wrap your head around. After speaking to my mum on the phone from America, it was as though there was finally one person in the world I could relate to. Sure Americans are nice people, smart, educated and friendly, but there is always that ONE thing that you miss and it's cultural. You can never feel at home until maybe you've been there for 10 years and you've become an "american" 

1 hour ago, shell20 said:

I totally get it. I have found it extremely difficult to adjust here. I thought it would be easy, but the cultural differences I have found quite profound. I have been here 3 and a half years ago and I still miss home.  Like you I left every thing behind, my job, my home, my car but most importantly my family, including my son and my cat.   I miss little things like walking on pavements/sidewalks to beans on toast.  My husband and I are complete opposites, he is a morning person, I a night owl. He is quiet and I am a sociable butterfly.  

 

You can work through those differences and compromise. If you decide to apply for a marriage visa, at least you will have the ability to work and have your own social circle and drive here.  It can be quite isolating if you don't have those things especially if you have no friends. Obviously it also depends on which area of the USA you live, if you live in the country side it can be quite isolating with no transportation. If you live in the city Im sure it can be filled with excitement and such. It will take time and effort to make it work, a lot of compromises too.  Another good thing is that if you go for the marriage visa, at least you will be able to leave the country and visit friends and family if you need to do so  Good luck with whatever decision you make.

Shell you know exactly where I'm coming from. Although you live there you always feel like the guest or that weird guy/gal with the funny accent who is a bit strange and there's something not quite right about them. 

You talk about England, oh I remember this one time in England, then people cut you off and go Oh here he goes again, always talking about England. 

Then there the memories of your childhood, the people you've met and the places you've been, that time you went to your mates house and the best night ever. 

You feel misunderstood and always the foreigner who is on a long vacation and one day vows to return to that place where everything makes sense. 

When I got off the plane in England, the air felt so clean like I could breath again. There were no confusing instances in shops or stores, everybody could understand me and once again it felt like home. Yeah we don't have the Disney world and 85 lane highways, but do we really need that?. I know find myself walking to see my family and travelling no more than two miles to get to work. Then the cultural difference is something that no American will ever understand, you just feel accepted and normal amongst everyone you meet. Sure a Brit in America has a certain charm, but if your the brit then it soon gets tiring and you grow weary of talking in the "british" accent and explain the monarchy. After a while it feels more and more less like you belong there 

Thanks for all the input. My marriage was never based on me wanting a green card or some kind of better life, I actually gave up a very well paid job, my drivers license, my heavy goods vehicle license, motorcycle license, sold everything I had and left my family to be with a woman whom I thought was the "one". I visited her 5 times in total, stayed out there for Christmas twice and she came over to England too, so it wasn't something we rushed in to. But when we lived together then the cracks started to appear and the clash of cultures were very strong. In England, any get together with families of celebrations are based around drinking. In America is based around food. But also, it's hard for a person to not miss home and yearn for what he knows best and where he feels the most comfortable. So the green card scam is out of the question and cannot be throw up for debate, because if my soul purpose of being with the woman was for immigration reasons, then why am I back home?. It's a question of having a little bit of turbulence during our marriage and me weighing up the options as to what we can potentially do to fix things. Thanks  for everyone's input, I appreciate the feedback

Thanks for everybody's help I really appreciate it. I'm from England so our cultures clashed immensely. All the drinking at the weekend and looking for a good time showed her a very irresponsible person. But I also had savings which I worked very hard for, so spending everything on paperwork seemed such a waste to me. With the benefit of hindsight right? 

Okay thank you. Is there a visa which will make her love me again?... You apply for it and automatically she feels good about the relationship lol

Thanks for your help. I appreciate it very much. Just need to convince the wife to take me back now haha. 

Hi and thanks for the help. I got married on day 89 but it was taking me a long time to adjust to living in the u.s and I was missing home a lot. Me and the wife had our fair amount of drama and set backs so I was forced to leave. I'm married but never adjusted my aos or never even petitioned it. With all the k1 process and the hard work to obtain it, all the long distance back and forth messages and visits, it's such a shame for it to end the way it did and I know deep down that we both want to stay together and not end up drifting apart 

I moved to the states in February on a k1 visa and married within the 90 days. I never adjusted my aos and never even applied for it, me and the wife were having problems and eventually I left and went home. The relationship was turbulent but we love each other none the less. Now I'm back home and wondering what options there is for us?.