Wow...as most of you already know, the love of my life happens to live in Managua, Nicaragua. His name is Juan Francisco Guillen Cruz a.k.a. Fran. We met last summer in El Salvador. He was in a program called Master's Commission, so he was living there for the year, and I went there on a six week mission trip. So, that is how we met. It started out as mutual attraction but grew to be so much more. When I left him July 28, 2005 in El Salvador, he said these words to me, "te escribire mucho...mucho" or in English "I will write you a lot...a lot"...and I believed him. So, I returned to the United States and for three weeks I checked my email everyday and cried every night because he had not written. I remember telling my friend Audra, "Audra, I really like him. I don't know but I really, really like him." I was soooo sad because I believed him when he said that he would write me. I remember telling my friend Ms. Dee, "I don't know what will happen but I want this to work. I want to see where this will go with him. I will do my part to make it work." I don't know why but my heart was set on him. So, August came and it was time for me to move back to the university. I went to Texas and it was the Saturday before classes started, and I checked my email and there was an email from him. I was SO happy. The subject line was "te extrano mucho" or "i miss you a lot". He explained to me that he had not forgotten about me, that he missed me a lot and had been thinking about me, but they just hadn't had time to write. (Master's Commission is a very, very hard core ministry training program. They woke up at 4 and 5 in the morning to pray. They took Bible classes. They ministered in the streets, like what we do on missions trips. So, that is the kind of things they kept busy with.) From that first email, to more that 150 later we have kept in contact. In the beginning it was mostly emails. Then emails and a few phone calls. Then chatting online/emails/phone calls. Then lots and lots of chatting online. Then lots and lots of chatting online with cameras and microphones. Then lots and lots of chatting/talking on the phone. So, he kept true to what he said to me in El Salvador. He wrote me A LOT.
So, from that first email in August until now...hmm..what has happened? i will tell you. In May, we applied for a tourist visa for him to come here to meet my family. My mom wrote him a letter of invitation, but to no avail because the U.S. embassy in Managua denied him the visa. So, I made the decision to go to Nicaragua to see him. My friend Ms. Dee, an awesome friend who has been with me through SO much, told me that she would go with me to Nicaragua. So, June 15th we left for Nicaragua. Wow, what an adventure!!!!! She stayed for one week and then returned to the United States. During that one week Fran sat down with her and I, and he explained to her his intentions towards me. (It was the closest thing to asking my parents permission, because obviously my parents were not there and she is like a mama to me!). It was so awesome to see him talk so openly and be so real. He started from the beginning and was really transparent. It was special to me because he initiated that conversation, and he really shared his heart. He said that he loves me with all of his heart, and that he wants to marry me. So, Ms. Dee was there to listen to everything he had to say. It was special. Ms. Dee had to leave June 22nd but I stayed until July 13th. What a friend...do you know anybody who would get a passport and travel with you to a different country???
The month that I spent in Nicaragua was filled with many emotions. I remember telling him in the first week, "I'm trying to understand you. Sometimes I don't get you. I look at you, and I'm trying to figure out what you are thinking." It wasn't the language that I didn't understand, it was him!! I was trying to figure him out. We knew each other really well before, but we hadn't had the opportunity to spend a lot of time together. So, during that month we had the opportunity to really get to know each other and how we interact with the world. It was great. I learned that I pretty much love everything about him!! haha He is so great.
More about that...I pretty much love everything about him. Sometimes, I would just look at him in amazement. I see that God has put something so special inside of him, and I respect him so much. Everytime I would tell him that, I would practically cry because it is something that i feel so strongly. That God has his hand on Fran's life. There is something so special about him. We both want to be missionaries, and I love the fact that we will serve God together. Sometimes, when I look at him, I feel like I don't deserve him (because I am not where I was with the Lord when he met me, nor am I where I want to be with the Lord right now) and for that reason, i felt like I didn't deserve him. I know that is not true, because we are perfect for each other...but I think it is natural to feel that way when you see someone so awesome...know what i mean?!
more about why i pretty much love everything about him...yall, he is such a loco!! he is so crazy. i love his kisses and his hugs....his eyes are so gorgeous...and his little curls are so cute...especially in the morning after he has showered, and his hair is wet...there is this one little curl that sometimes hangs on his forehead...it is so cute. hehe he always wins when we have our fights...that is our tickle fights...he always wins...never fails...i put up a slightly decent fight but he always wins. he sometimes kisses my whole face like a dog...it's pretty funny. and he is strong, so i have no defense against these attacks...haha...he smells good...even after a whole day of work..he cooks!!! he cooked breakfast for me and made this banana shake for me. What a man!!
Wait there's more. He listens when I talk. He waits until I am ready to talk. He encourages me to talk even about the hard topics. He works through them with me. There is no other person that I would want to share every detail of my life with, but with him I do. I trust him, and likewise he trusts me. He talks with me about the things that he feels and the things that happen in his life. I appreciate the fact that he opens up to me. I know that he loves me because he shows me that he does. He knows that I love him, because I show him that I do.
So, there is so much more that could be said. More that I wouldn't write for the whole world to read...special things between Fran and I...so, what i wrote was sufficient. Right now, we are both really going through a hard time. We love each other, and we are engaged to be married. We don't want to be apart anymore time than we have to be. We are both working very hard to be able to get married soon and start our lives together.
I have found the love of my life...he just happens to be in Nicaragua right now...and we work diligently with hope burning bright in our hearts...that soon we will be together again...once and for all...