HahvahdYahd

1 minute ago, f f said:

what help do you want then? no one is going to lie and say call this number and all of your issues go away. if finances were the only cause of the delay then there was and still is a fee waver form.

 

it seems to me that you really want to vent your frustration which is fine but the advice you have been getting on your options sadly os correct.

No, I'm not talking about everyone, just the user that tried to lecture me rather than just tell me what the deal was. You can see that if you read the entire thread. Everyone else gave their input which I greatly appreciate, instead of saying it was all my fault. 

2 hours ago, Cam54 said:

It was up to you to adjust status, yes technically your partner is the filer but I put together all of the paperwork for mine and literally only had my husband sign his name, I took it upon myself to be aware of the process and legal aspects as ultimately it is myself that is affected most if anything goes wrong, my husband knows little of the process and yet Iv successful applied for k-1, AOS and ROC without his help. Basically what I'm saying is learn from this situation and appreciate that you should have been more proactive in your application and you should have understood that paying for AOS was THE most important thing you had to do and finances are not an excuse especially when you knew there was a fee prior to moving, take ownership of your joint responsibility in the mistakes that were made or you won't learn from them.

Okay, just so you know, I was the one who put all the documents together. ME. Just like in your case. I was the one doing the research but in a perfect world, no one is affected by emotional things that happen and other reasons. I do blame and keep blaming him, although I'm the one in a bad situation. The issue was purely fonancial, and I should've have trusted him like I did. That's just cruel to do what he did. Now you're telling me stuff like you actually know me. Don't you think that a ten year ban is enough to teach me? I do. It happened and I came here for help, not learn to blame myself to death. You're wasting your time

1 hour ago, Kirkuvan Lehtonen said:

Hi! First of all let me tell you how much I admire you. It is a very difficult situation not only emotionally also political!

Life doesn't end here, this is a new beginning for you and you have to learn from it! 

Sadly your case isn't the first or last one. There are many people that are going through the same situation as you. Take the better of it and start over! You are super young. Sadly this person seems son unstable. Think about this; you moved all the way here to be with him, looking for a better life for both of you and you seem like you did everything on your hands to make it work  but remember relationships are of two and no of one . It didn't work and you gotta keep going, you deserve better.

You are on time to take a decision, just make sure to take a decision knowing what you're going to face with each of them. Decisions and options there are many, but you have to ask yourself what you want; need and what is the best for you. America is a great place but it isn't the only one. There is a world out there and  is waiting to be discovered!

Heal and start over! Find someone who deserves you and you deserve! Alway be true to yourself!

A divorce isn't easy but is a new point to start!

Rise upon this and learn from it.

 

I send you a big hug and I truly wish you the best! Good luck!!

Dearly Kirkuvan L.

 

haha Thank you! Thank you so much. Gosh, it's been very very difficult. He is indeed very unstable. Later just last year he was diagnosed with ADHD, so he tends to be very impulsive without realizing, or feeling any guilt. Anyways... Thank you for your words. I'm trying to get used to the idea, get my things together and move on. I can't be sad about this forever. Thank you so much!

2 hours ago, caliliving said:

this happened to someone else i know.. she is now living in the USA under the radar.. that is your ONLY option.. also in the future if you have a situation where the person is old or something and you are helping them out (i read a story about a woman who was basically a nurse to her second ailing husband and got a waiver for that).  but as a 21 year old, that probably wont be a waiver that you would be able to get anytime soon!

 

honestly, your option is to stay here illegally with the other millions of foreigners or go home.  

Gotcha. well, that's a bummer. Thanks anyways

3 hours ago, Damara said:

This might sound harsh but IMO you need to take more personal responsibility. All I see in your postings are variations of "he was suppose to do XYZ, this is his fault" etc. YOU made the choice to stay. You were issued a K visa and entered Sept 29th. You had 90 days on that visa to marry and needed to file for adjustment of status promptly. If not in the 90 days then asap. You dont incur a ban until 180 days, which would have been 3 yrs. You passed that mark and are now facing the 10 yr ban. So where was your choice? It was to stay past the 180 days after your visa expired with out filing AOS. You made that choice. You can blame it on him if you feel he misled you, but the choice to remain with out filing AOS was yours. It was always yours. You made the wrong choice. Its a hard life lesson.

People will understand that you can not enter the US and shouldnt harbor bad feelings towards you for not coming back to visit them when you are legally not allowed to. Also Im not saying the US isnt "great" but it isnt the only "great" place on Earth. Stop looking at the past, what happened happened. Accept your fault in it. Learn from it and move on. 

I understand what you're saying, but you don't know me. I tend always to push the blame on myself, I guess because of my personality, contrary to what you think. And trust me, If it was up to me to adjust my status, I would have done it long ago. In the event of us not having money, I went out and asked for a job, to shovel snow and whatever to make the money we needed. When I stayed over 180 days, we were still together, as well as for the 10 year ban. We both knew we were late and were trying to send the docs as soon as we could, cause we knew we'd be forgiven, but then things feel apart and I was left in this situation. So NO, it was NOT my decision to stay without the AOS. Anyways, it IS a big deal for me getting the ban, otherwise I wouldn't have posted here.

I'm sorry, but coming here to say it was all my fault isn't much of a help, I already blame myself enough for trusting my 'beloved' ex. Don't forget we were a couple, and according to you guys there's nothing I can do about it. I'm not you, I will staill be sad, disappointed, but will go on

8 hours ago, discoverusa said:

Is civil union the same as civil marriage? The city hall/court marriage? It probably doesn't even matter at this point, but if you were technically married in Brazil, why did you get K1 as opposed to CR-1 visa?

The CD-1 visa required an  actual marriage, the civil union is a step before marriage, but basically works like civil marriage. That was our only option there, something about his visa didn't allow us to get married right away. So that's why de did the K-1. We knew the CR-1 was a better option but oh well.

9 hours ago, CatherineA said:

Sorry, this is a difficult position. Unfortunately, the time to get any compensation for playing casually with your life was during the divorce and even then I don't think you could have gotten anything  (blood from a stone etc). You took a big risk (fiance visa is risky for this exact reason-- the immigrant arrives completely dependent on the petitioner with the green card on the line) and it didn't work out. The only way to adjust status from a K1 is with the original petitioner, and that avenue sounds like it's closed (and honestly, it should be. You don't need to stay with someone who treats you like that). You're young and haven't been here that long in the grand scheme of things.

 

If I were in your shoes, I'd cut my losses and go home and work on building a great life there. You're so young that you'll still be young in 10 years AND on top of it, the bans are waivable. Staying without status and no way to GET status is just going to push this problem further down the road and multiply it. The longer you stay and build a life here, the more you have to lose.

Gotcha. I really really don't want that life for me. I don't judge immigrants who come here and decide to stay, but it is so difficult to live a life no basically fewer rights, with no documents, fewer options for job... It's very stressing because it HAS been like that since I got here and couldn't dor it for much longer. Thank you.

1 hour ago, geowrian said:

I'm sorry for the difficult path you've endured.

 

Sorry, but to be direct: you're not in a gray area...you overstayed your I-94 and have no status nor authorized stay. You can be deported at any time.

 

Your first attorney is correct. You will incur the 10 year ban upon exit from the US. There's no way for you to avoid this. Marriage to anybody else won't permit you to AOS since you came in via a K-1...that's a strict requirement of the K-1 visa process.

 

What would you sue him for exactly? Unless I missed something, I don't see a means to sue, nor what you would be able to recoup as a result.

 

Edit: Just to others reading this in the future...be sure you go with the best visa for your individual circumstances. It sounds like a CR-1 would have been better in this case since 1) it's cheaper, 2) it grants the ability to work immediately, and 3) avoids the potential issue of being out of status if things don't work out. Financial troubles preventing somebody from filing for AOS is a very common issue, and can lead to negative consequences in the relationship.

I don't know exactly what you can sue a person for. I just felt like this was very unfair, to be dependent on him all this time and be the one who'll lose. I guess Justice isn't always fair is it? Yes people, please be careful. I do not wish this to anyone, I am in a bizarre situation here. 

Thank you so for your input

40 minutes ago, Jojo92122 said:

Sorry about your situation.

 

As a K-1 overstay, your only way to become legal is through your husband.  Marrying another US citizen would not allow you to adjust status.  This is one of the limitation of the K-1.  As long as you stay in the US, you will be an undocumented immigrant without the ability to become legal forever.

 

If you leave the US, there is no way for you to avoid the ban.

 

You can sue him, but why?  No lawyer will take your case without a large retainer.  Even if you win, you can't squeeze blood from a stone - he has no money so what would you squeeze out of him?  You may have a much better chance of suing him in Brazil.  

 

If you want revenge, go home to Brazil and sue him there.  Ruin his life in Brazil.  See if you can get him kicked out for good so he has to come back to the US and his miserable life.  A gringo teaching English in Brazil is valuable, not so much if he is kicked out and has to return to the US where no one will hire him as an English teacher.  He can go back to living off a crappy job.

I don't like the word 'revenge' coming from myself, but that guy got me miserable for months, it's unbelievable what I got into. But you got a point there, I understand. Thank you so so much for taking your time to give your input. I appreciate it.

38 minutes ago, f f said:

sue him for what? it did not work out and you guys were dragging your feet on the paperwork.  he has no legal obligation to file the paperwork nor to support you. if you two had filed the aos paperwork then he would have to reimburse the us government if you became a public charge. sadly with the k1 the only person you can gain legal status through is your ex and there is no scorned lover exception. there is vawa but nothing you said would suggest you were abused and also you would have needed physical proof of that abuse not just a statement claiming abuse.

Yes, I'm aware he has no legal obligation to file the paperwork, but he did have the obligation to make sure things went smoothly and he neglected that, and I can sure say it's not like I could just leave, like I said I was dependend on him entirely, didn't even have money to get on a plane and leave. I'm not playing the victim, but for me that is called being. It's not like I had any other option

Hey guys, I’ve been willing to post here about my  case, but I had to make sure I’d research really well first. I even went through posts here on VJ.

Okay, so I met this dude back in 2013 online. April 2014 he decided to move to Brazil to study (free college!) and from starting as friends, we became a couple. We lived together in the same house, we got a civil union november same year, so I could get him medical insurance and life insurance from my job. He was teaching English at the time, and out of bad fiinancial decisions we got in debt, and trying to make ends meet. February 2016 we decided we should give the US a shot. He went back to the US same month and started taking care of the papers for my K1. I got my k1 visa in September 2015, and got to the US on the 29th.

We married December 21st 2015, and everything was good. We were happy after being apart for 7 months. During winter 2016, In Boston, we were facing financial problems again. But basically because he refused to try and get a stable income job - since he was used to teach English to Brazilians, and the money was very unsteady of course. I couldn’t work since I didn't have a permit. But even still I went to find a gig or something to help, cause you know, I wouldn’t just sit there. But the money I made was even less compared to what he made. All that stress led us to fight countless times, and we could never save enough for the papers.

So although we did get married, we had a delay in sending the AOS documents. In fact it never happened. So it was around june 2016, I did more gigs (I shouldn’t have, I know!) and we finanly got enough money for the papers, and we knew being a little late wouldn’t be such a big deal, since we did a lot of research. June 2016 was also when he met this guy that used to be student of his, and broke up with me saying it wasn’t working for him, so imagine how shocked I was.. 2 weeks later he moves into this guy's house. It was so sudden and quick. And there’s more. He wanted me to sign the divorce papers same month, so he could marry this guy, and I really think the guy wanted the papers, he’s been here illegally. Emotionally I was a wreck, lost, in pieces. Got depressed and was alone. Made me believe it was us the reason for splitting up, when the truth is abandoned me for another guy.

That went on, and I think less than a month later the guy breaks up with him and goes back to his ex. I guess I was so out of it that I just wanted him back. I understand he did a really bad thing, but I was (and still am) in another country on the other side of the globe. We lived together since the beginning, we suffered together before, we overcame so many problems together, so his sudden leaving really felt like the end of the world to me, no kidding. So we got back together. Now I know all the sentimental side of this won’t matter to USCIS but, January this year I was the one broke up with him, since he said he loved me but never did anything for us to rent an apartment (yes, we were living separate since he left), he was in another city and barely wanted to see me anymore, despite all my efforts to be together. Well, he started talking to this new guy after 1 week of the 2 break up! That was in January this year. Blocked me in every social media you can think. Went to Brazil to visit his new boyfriend 2 months ago, while I’m still stuck in the US. Since then he decided he’s moving back to Brazil in July, for good, to live with the new boyfriend. Sounds familiar?

And what is the problem? Well, after months in a dark place, disoriented, with no legal rights to get a job, nor to see my family, I am still in the Grey Area, and by leaving, I will get a 10 year ban. I find this extremely unfair, that guys s’d me over. All his friends think he did a bad thing (not to use cuss words), but believe it or not, some actually support him. I saw a lawyer about two weeks ago,he confirmed about the ban. I am 21 years old. My ex’s 22. It makes me extremely sad to think I might not come back to visit friends and I made, and people that took care of me during the worst time of my young life. I can’t come back to visit, or for work, or anything. It wouldn’t be a big deal for me if this wasn’t the world’s political and economical capital. It makes me sad and mad at the same time. Not to mention how it might be in the way of me getting any kind of visa in the future, it’ll always be grounds for a visa denial.

I plan on seeing another attorney, but have you guys heard of a similar case? I’d do anything to not get this ban, it is so unfair. Our relationship had been always good, and then he blew it and showed his childish side. Only reason I didn’t leave was I’d already get this ban, and we were going to send the papers anyways, cause we were toghether back then. And now here I am, not knowing what to do next. He ruined my life in so many ways. I healed emotionally it’s been 2 months, but all the consequences I’m about to face… He doesn’t even care. He’s moving in a few weeks. Said he’s sorry and told me to marry someone else in the future… I feel so hopeless, deep down I feel like she should pay for being so irresponsible and putting me in this situation, and I don’t know if there’s anything I can do. I literally relied on him for anything in this country, from a job to everything else and he deserted me. But once again, not only on the emotional side, but also as a partner.

Is there anything I can do to not be banned? Can I sue him? I don’t want to fight for a GC, I feel totally impaired having to rely on him and my life here. Anyways… Sorry for the long post, any input will be appreciated, I’m can’t seem fo find a way out of this. Thank you so much.