AbigailOo

2 minutes ago, sparkles_ said:

I want you to read my signature. And see that this mess we earned that I document in my signature is the result of waiting a few months of overstay to file, thinking we had time. It's been a 2.5yr journey to fix. Overstay and wait is never ever a good idea. My spouse actually did end up in removal.....not fun at all. And expensive to fix. 

Wow, thank you. Might as well just get it done asap. At least he'll be in legal status the whole time. Thank you ❤️

1 minute ago, Boiler said:

Absolutely not a DIY case, might need an Accountant input as well.

Thanks guys. Type of responses I needed ?

Thanks Sparkles. I begged in about three different posts for nobody to provide their personal opinions on the relationship anymore, it is unsolicited. I've had enough and frankly it's only irritating now. 

On the overstay I'll just marry him and file for adjustment before his visa runs out. I was thinking to marry and he could overstay for a few months so we had more time before paperwork started. 

IF YOU CANNOT COMMENT WITH STRICTLY IMMIGRATION TERMS PLEASE SKIP. I've had enough!

1 minute ago, Kosi Wahala said:

No one will tell you that he is allowed to overstay - in fact, that most likely goes against the TOS. Prenups are prenups, but they won't relive you from the obligation of the AOS you'll have to file. Until he becomes a citizen, you are financially responsible for him. No prenup can get you out of that. 

The prenup was for proof documentation that he isn't after my property, of course I'm financially responsible. This is the first time I've seen a marriage case where overstaying is not advised. Thank you. I'd prefer if you didn't comment anymore. I appreciate your help. Bless ❤️

4 minutes ago, Kosi Wahala said:

With all due respect, I think you first need to determine if there is a relationship here that allows for visa advice. It just seems that you wish to marry him, and he has not indicated that his is interested. It's hard to give advice when we are not sure what sort of relationship and resulting class of visa to advise upon. 

Marry and then adjust. Do you think he should overstay or not? Will a prenup discount him being after my property? IMMIGRATION advice only please. Let everybody keep their personal advice to themselves. I already have 8 pages of that. God bless you. 

Oh finally I can post on this. Please this has gotten disrespectful. I'd have to kindly ask you guys keep your opinions about the relationship to yourselves. If you're not commenting on how to overcome red flags please don't comment at all. Visa journey not marriage therapist. If more people comment with "advice" about him being a fraud. The MOD can close the thread. Thank you. 

This is exhausting. Firstly it was the vasectomy is fake then it can be reversed. African men are allowed to be gay and even dress like women but not wanting kids is impossible. 

Then it was he won't stay with you when you're frail and I said I didn't expect him to, then it was "how could you not expect him to?"

He he had an abusive father and his mom stayed in the marriage because of the kids. His aunts also went through the experience. He really just want to travel the world and acquire wealth with little responsibility. Kids hinder that. Please let's put the hes african so he must want kids narrative to rest. There's more to life. 

6 minutes ago, sparkles_ said:

Did you see that vasectomy paperwork in English? Or was it his native lanaguage and he just showed you a medical looking document that could be for tonsillectomy for all you know. Did you verify it on your own in any way or with the help of a non biased Nigerian?

 

I need anothet Nigerian to sound off, because I don't think vasectomy is common at all in country. He could be feeding you that lie to make it more believable that he won't drop you and want kids because he supposedly can't have them. Same for hating kids. I highly doubt that. African cultural is very family and child oriented. 

 

You know there is a saying about things of this nature that are too good to be true. When you hear hoof beats, don't think of a zebra. Meaning 99.9% of the time it's just a regular horse. 

 

And unless you you have been around immigrant communities for a long time and maybe speak his language, you actually don't have any idea what you're getting into fully. You can't even understand what he says on the phone to his family....you know what he tells you. 

He got the vasectomy in the states. He never speaks in his native tongue whenever I'm around out of respect. Please, stop profiling.

Everytime someone tries to discredit him I only see more reason to trust him. Not everybody goes with the grain of culture and I may have just met the 0.01%. 

I think at this point I've heard it all. Of course I don't expect him to be with me when I get old & frail. 

I need responses that don't suggest I'm a vulnerable woman who's being duped and has no idea what she's getting into. 

6 minutes ago, AmyWrites said:

I used to work in immigration.... odds are this will not end well for you OP.

Uh oh. How?

i think the problem here is how Nigerians are profiled. There's someone even suggesting his vasectomy might be fake, I've seen the documentation. He prefers for us to move back and rather not stay here but somehow he must still be scamming me for the green card. He even bought a car for himself to ship home as an elaborate scam. I understand all the concerns and I'm grateful but barely anyone even answered my original question, but at this point anything he seems to do or not do points at him deceiving me. I don't really care about meeting his family, young people get married have a big wedding, meet the family, have children and still get divorced after a few years, all the ceremony don't really solidify the relationship. I've done all that and got abused in the marriage. We have the same worldview and just want to be together. I have a lot of family and friends who have met him, they've briefed me on the emotional aspects. Didn't really expect anything of that sort from you guys who have neither seen either of us or know our life patters. Was expecting legal/immigration advice. Whats wild is I initiated most part of our relationship and the whole immigration thing but HE's the one being accused of immigration fraud. Wild. 

I really hope immigration officers arent prejudiced. 

Thanks for the heads up Michael. I know you're just trying to be a good person and prevent something bad from happening but you've never even spoken to the guy and you're 99.9% sure he's a scam and leading me to doom. Again, it's only sexist if the age difference is okay for men and not women. Btw, he got a vasectomy when he got here. If you're not sure about him wanting kids later. I'm really grateful for the fraud warnings, of course I had to clear that up with my family and friends. 

Thank you, Mr Michael. I'm aware of this. We've both even discussed it, he keeps asking "hope you're not lonely, just looking for anybody". I'm the one who's been pressing for the process. He has a good job and more comfortable life back in Nigeria with proof and everything. So it seems like we can't get past profiling his country of origin. 

I'm a 62 yo African American woman. I met him December last year after he had gotten here October on a visiting visa. We met at the local bar and have been inseparable since then, literally inseparable as we spoke everyday since we met. He has a thing for older women and I look half my age, he told me it's not culturally acceptable back in Nigeria, even borderline taboo. Anyway, when in Rome lol. He's really mature for his age, even more than me, unfortunately even more than my sons who are older than him. Quiet, calm and somehow still the funniest person . He's really the only person I've felt this kind of connection with. My family immediately loved him. He has a Bachelor's while I have an associate's and is from a pretty well to do family. He just bought a car that he plans to ship to Nigeria, he rarely ever lets me pick the bill. We really do love each other and we're both home bodies. In summary, it's a perfect match. And whenever we're together alone it's like nothing else matters. He also doesn't want kids, in fact he hates them. He's very westernized and is a sharp contrast from a couple Nigerians I dated. I'm trying to convince him to marry me and stay back here because according to him even if we elope in Nigeria our affair will have to be quiet, due to the culture, it's almost like being gay and hiding. He also doesn't want to file for adjustment because, in his words, "I'm too young and Nigerian". We really do love each other and I want him to stay back, our marriage would be as bona fide as it gets. Do we have a chance if we file to adjust status? I've not seen a lot of good comments on age difference. We can get a half hearted consent from his parents and he already has my family's approval. We also don't have a problem commingling finances.