TheZilla

You have invested alot of years in this person. If I were you I would write a detailed letter to

your local USCIS Office and also your local state representatives. (Govenor, and Mayors)

office.

Too many Americans have/are taken for a short term marriage ride and receive heartaches

while the Aliens receive permanent residence. If your like me and feel that your Alien spouse

has taken you for a ride I'd alert the proper authorities.

" Why sit we here til we die "

Sorry, but this is terrible advice. Laurie pointed out that her marriage was entered into in good faith. Marriages end for a lot of different reasons and it hurts, but just because the spouse happens to be foreign doesn't mean they deserve extra punishment. Not all foreign marriages are fraud related and it doesn't seem right to me that you pass out this "reporting to the authorities" advice to any USC getting a divorce from a foreign spouse.

Laurie - I am so sorry to hear that things didn't work out for you guys. I hope that in time you can put the pieces back together and come out dtronger for this experience. Take care of yourself.

Right. Ergo the reason I began this discussion in the first place.

Let me put it to you this way, in other stages of the process, we often cry out to people that are trying to circumvent the system or do not follow procedure, claiming that these less than direct approaches cost others more scrutiny, more time to process a legitimate case etc. It's no different here. If a USC files a report with USCIS that an alien married for immigration benefit alone, (a fraud claim) and it turns out to be simply a case of one partner that had bonafide intentions in the first place, but changing his or her mind during the marriage for whatever reason, ift too places undue work load on USCIS to investigate. Perhaps not right away, but certainly at the next stage in the process for the alien. This also serves, in an indirect way, to dilute the impact of a genuine case of unilateral immigratin fraud. My personal belief is that the avenue available for the rarer cases of marriage by deception should not be cluttered with spurious claims. Does no one any good and causes delays, more scrutiny and hardship for others.

Exactly. If it had just been that they would have to make him leave simply because we divorced, I would send in whatever paperwork I had to, I won't lie. In the end, that's not how it works and I'm not going to make other people who really suffer at the hands of true frauds have to go through a tougher time just because I'm heartbroken. It's petty and wrong, and I just wouldn't go there. Can't say I don't hope he gets screwed over somewhere down the line, but I'm not gonna do it.

When it comes to finances, he was the one who went through the lion's share of money to be perfectly honest. He was the one supporting me financially, not the other way around. He actually went through quite a bit of money in this relationship, even accessing some trusts and things. So I have no intentions of trying to get anything else from him, like I said, I won't even take the few hundred left in our account. As far as material stuff went, I just kept some books and DVDs and that's enough for me. So there won't be any problems as far as dividing anything up. I was just mainly wondering how many of these accounts and things will require me having to sign things and see him again while doing it.

Hey again

As you probably know by now, my marriage is breaking up, my husband moved out and is living with the mother of some girl he's fixated on, and right now things are up in the air as A- It was all of a sudden without warning and B- He hasn't been in touch with me since Friday. This is the first real serious relationship I've had where there has been joint accounts and such things, and I've been trying hard to hunt down the info I need on the net but I'm so out of it I'm doing a rather terrible job. Wondering if you all might be able to help from experience?

1. We have a joint bank account. There's only a few hundred dollars in it, all of it is technically his (he said I could keep it, I told him to go eff himself). Now, can he go close it out himself, or will both of us have to be there to do it?

2. He has a car (paid for in full with his own money), both of our names are on the title, his coming first. Now, if he does move back to the UK like he said he is going to, can he just go sell the car himself or will I have to be there to sign off on it too? (hoping he can do it himself if he does leave)

Ergh, I feel sick thinking about him staying because he wouldn't have the bank account, the car, or his cell phone without me (he didn't have any credit over here, still doesn't, and needed me for all those things). I swear, my a$$ is sore from all the kicks to it.

Thank you so much in advance for any help you might be able to provide me with

You have invested alot of years in this person. If I were you I would write a detailed letter to

your local USCIS Office and also your local state representatives. (Govenor, and Mayors)

office.

Too many Americans have/are taken for a short term marriage ride and receive heartaches

while the Aliens receive permanent residence. If your like me and feel that your Alien spouse

has taken you for a ride I'd alert the proper authorities.

" Why sit we here til we die "

Why should she write to her representative? She states she knows the relationship was bonafide.

There are appropriate times to seek the ear of an elected representative. I don't believe this is one of them.

To the OP -

Personally, I wouldn't rush filing for a divorce. I'd let him do the filing. He wants to end the relationship - let him be the one to do the dirty work. This sounds like a very rash and impulsive thing on his part. Whether or not he ends up wishing to reverse his decision is hard to say. Whether or not you would forgive him is up to you.

Yeah, like I said, at the end of the day I couldn't sink so low as to do any lying or false representation of any sort just because I'm hurting like absolute hell. I don't really believe he took me for some kind of ride just to get into the country, he absolutely didn't and I know it deep down. I wouldn't lie just to be spiteful, I just couldn't. He said he wouldn't take advantage of this marriage in that manner, he said he had enough respect for me and what we had that he will move back to the UK. Whether or not he meant that remains to be seen, and really, I wouldn't be surprised if he stays as the man is absolutely spineless. I already have too many regrets about this whole thing, I don't need to add more by being conniving and spiteful.

I'm leaving the divorce to him. He'll have to contact me about what the hell he wants to do. I have no plans whatsoever for reconciliation, and I do not believe he does at all either. He made his choice and I'm trying to deal with it as best I can and move on.

Thank you everybody, your responses mean a very lot to me.

In response, I'm trying to move forward. Even after he told me he had feelings for the girl and wanted to be with her, I asked him to stay and perhaps we could get couples counseling. He outright refused. I spent awhile trying to reason with him, but he was cut off and cold to me. On Thursday he said the girl was nothing but a symptom of a bigger problem and she was just a flash, then on Friday he said it was serious and he wants a future with her. Thursday he said he loved me, Friday he said he didn't love me anymore and hadn't for awhile. I really don't think he knows what the hell he is doing to be honest, I think he is a screwed up kid really.

I tried very hard to reason with him, but he cut me out and blocked me off, and so I admit I did just start rattling off every nasty thing that came in my head. I didn't yell or scream, I just unloaded, called him every name in the book, insulted his masculinity, all sorts of things I have to say I'm not proud of. Some of it I don't regret, but I am ashamed of hitting below the belt. It's just something I don't like to see myself do, even if the person in question might deserve it. I guess I just wanted him to feel as much pain as possible, knowing I was the one who was going to be left alone to clean up so much of this mess while he's off with what's her face.

This morning I went for an hour long walk, something I haven't done in awhile, and it felt good. Something I probably should have done a long time ago, but somewhere in my messed up head I know that even if he didn't stick around to see these changes, they will still be good for me. This definitely was a wake-up call to end all wake-up calls for me, I can clearly see that he did make valid points about my attitude and health, points I really want to take on even without him. I am trying to cling very hard to what I can get out of this as a benefit to me rather than focus on what I've lost. It's a shame he didn't persevere, but there's nothing I can do about it.

In short, I'm not thinking at all about reconciliation because it's obvious he is a terrible communicator, he blows things so out of proportion in his head because he bottles things up that he convinces himself rather easily that things are impossible, and I don't think he has the sac to try. Also, I am not sure I could ever get past this, it would take endurance and determination I don't think he has and I don't feel inclined to give to him anymore. I am in such pain and feel such loss, there is a part of me that would wish for nothing more than to make another try at this, but I just feel it cannot happen. There is a part of me, however buried under all this sorrow, that thinks perhaps he did me a favor by screwing up like he did.

I feel positive right now, I'm making lists of all the best things I can think to do for myself during this time and I feel like I might come out the other side better than ever. What I hate is how up and down this all is, one minute I think I'm good and two seconds later I'm crying again. Suppose that just comes with the territory, doesn't it?

At the moment, I am just trying to reorganize things and start fresh. I don't really want to know what happens with him from now on. I mean, sure I'd like to know if this all blows up in his face, but I'd hate knowing if it doesn't. My common sense tells me it's just better not to know at all and just move on. I've just got to try remembering all the friggin' benefits of being single rather than all those crappy downsides.

Hey there guys,

It's really early Monday morning and I'm trying to get my head around the fact that a week ago, I was snuggling with my husband and chatting about the future, and it's a week later and he's gone. I keep feeling like I'm in the middle of some nightmare that I can't wake up from. I don't even know what I should be thinking about or doing. I know we've got accounts in both of our names, but I can't even remember all of them or what to do about it because I never thought I'd have to I guess.

I don't even know where he is or what his plans are. I don't know if he's going back to the U.K. like he said he would, or if this new girl and his mother are going to convince him that the best thing to do is stay here since he can (he just started college, he has his own car, own phone, etc.). He's known the girl three weeks, and I saw a text on his phone where she was like "I love you so much!". I asked him if he believed that, or what he thought that actually meant, and he didn't have an answer for me. I kept saying "You're throwing away four years for three weeks" and I made him repeat it to me. He said that he admits he is a coward, and weak, and spineless.

I just can't believe it. He did have valid reasons for being unhappy. I suffer with depression and anxiety disorder and in the past year I've hit a very low patch. I stopped going out as much and asked a lot of him, and I wasn't taking proper care of my health and diet (had to have emergency gallbladder surgery last year and only just now paid off the massive hospital bill, so going to doctors is something my whole family puts off because we have no insurance). It was one of those things where he just never spoke up, and I never saw how bad I was actually getting.

The thing that kills me here is that I feel he should have known I'm the type of person who busts my ### if I realize there is a big problem. Sometimes he would go out and I wouldn't go with him, but he always left it as my choice and if I said "No", he just accepted it like there was nothing he could do. If he'd ever said "I really want you to come" or "It would mean a lot to me", I would have. He never told me what his needs and wants were, I think he expected me to know intuitively. He never said "I need this" or "I want this". He admitted that he failed in that respect, but he wouldn't consider sticking with us because he was so fixated on this girl (who called him on his cell at least ten times the night he left).

I feel bitter, because there were stretches of time when we were apart where he made me very unhappy, but I stuck with him and endured it until it got better. He knew I did this for him, he knew I was on the verge of leaving him a couple of times early on but I didn't. I feel like I was so blinded by love that I failed to recognize the serious repercussions of putting my trust and faith in someone who was so immature and emotionally stunted.

I know I made huge mistakes and sort of got into this trance of bad habits, I just hate that he wasn't assertive enough to call me out and tell me point blank how he felt and what he thought because I could have done so much to change things for the better. Looking back, I know he would cringe at any sort of confrontation, whether I was really mad or whether I calmly approached him to talk. I think he was so afraid that I might not react favorably to anything he might of said that he just never said anything. I just didn't realize how bad he felt. Men often do that though, don't they? They have needs and wants, don't tell you, get resentful if you don't meet them, and then if they see some girl that fulfills even just one of those needs, they go off with them (sorry, that's unfair to men, I should probably say 'little boys').

It just burns me up that he's off with this girl (he's 26, she's in her early twenties) and I'm left here alone (I just turned 30 in April). I'm terrified of how long it will take me to get over this and where this will leave me. I am afraid I won't have the chance to have healthy children, I'm afraid I won't find another partner who will understand me, teach me things, and click with me like he did. I just feel abject terror when I really think about it. I am trying to stay positive, trying to focus on getting healthier, losing weight, getting out in the world more, continuing my writing, and all sorts of things. One minute it seems entirely possible, the next I feel so hopeless.

I have been calling on my friends, they're very good friends it's just they're all spread out around the country or they live in England. I guess I'm just reaching out wherever I can in an effort to cement the idea in my head that I'm not alone in this.

Sorry I went on so long here, if you've read this far I have to thank you so much that you did.

Hi there,

I haven't been back on this forum for awhile now, but I used to post here a lot and it was the first forum I thought of to pose my questions.

Here's the deal. I got married in June of 2007 after getting through the K-1 process. My husband got his green card and everything.

Now, he has left me for some other girl he met. This happened a few days ago and it came without much warning, so I'm still in shock and trying to get myself together enough to figure out what has to be done next. I haven't thoroughly searched the forums here yet as a result, the information I need might be there but I'm rather distraught, as you may understand.

Before he left, we briefly went over how to obtain a divorce and it looked like we'd file under 'irreconcilable differences' just to make it go faster. From what I could tell, I have to obtain a copy of the divorce papers and send them to the USCIS?

Also, how do I pull my sponsorship of him and what effects does it have? From what I could tell he has until his green card expires to leave, and while he said he was moving back to England as soon as possible and wasn't going to take this for a ride, I'm not sure how much I can believe him and would like to put things in motion so that he will have to leave as soon as possible.

Do any of you know what the procedures are? Any helpful links you think I should see? Like I said, I am very distraught and am in more than a little bit of shock, so I would appreciate any help anyone could give me in this difficult time. Thank you very much in advance.

--Laurie

Laurie,

Sorry to hear that your marriage has taken a turn for the worst, but, what makes you believe that you have the right to prevent him from staying here, or to withdraw the obligation you made to the government when you began the process?

This just happened two days ago without warning, and did you ever notice that crippling pain and rejection can make you think about all sorts of spiteful things? You want the truth? I'm sitting here right now trying to figure out just how the hell I'm going to get my life back together and trying to cope with this loss and get my head around it, I feel he betrayed me and everything we worked for.

You know what though? At the end of the day, I couldn't actually do anything untrue. I could not lie and say this marriage wasn't entered into in good faith, because it was. I couldn't even accuse him of infidelity because I believe he did not touch the girl physically before he left. I hate thinking that he got into the country because of me and what we wanted to build, and that now he might stay here and go build that future with someone else instead.

Will I actually do anything to try and f**k him over? Actually, no, because in the moments I'm not crying and feeling so unbelievably hurt and angry, I realize that doing something like that is beneath my dignity and I couldn't live with myself if I stooped that low. Do I want to? Is there a part of me that really wants to do things to make him hurt? Sure. Will I actually? No. I can't.

Wish I could in some ways, but my conscience is too strong. It was a rash thought in response to rejection (a day after said rejection took place). He threw away four years of a relationship for three weeks with some girl, and maybe there are people out there who can handle that kind of rejection without impulsive ideas to get back at someone, but I guess I'm not one of them.

Hi Laurie,

Sorry to hear that this has happened to you. Basically you don't need to do anything at all. Your husband can leave the US and abandon his residency or he can file to lift the conditions on his green Card alone after the divorce is final. You won't need to help him in any way. The bad news is that there is no way of 'pulling the sponsorship', that will stay in effect until one of the following occurs.

1. He leaves the US and abandons his residency.

2. He has 40 qualifying quarters of work.

3. He becomes a US Citizen.

4. One of you dies.

I'm going through something similiar myself, but I'm the immigrant and my husband is the USC. My thoughts are with you.

Thank you for the response. I am not sure what he intends to do, I'm sort of up in the air. As far as I knew, things were alright between us, then he came out and told me he was unhappy and had fallen for another woman (whom he's known for three weeks) and that he was leaving. He took his stuff and moved into her mother's house (as far as I know, the girl in question is still living with her boyfriend but might be intending to break up with him).

I'm just absolutely shocked, there were problems he had with me that are very valid but were nothing I was unwilling to change or turn around, he just didn't tell me how bad he felt or give me the chance to make big changes unfortunately. He said he will move back to England, but he just started college classes (also three weeks ago) and while he said he was going back to England and would never disrespect me by using our marriage as a way to stay here, I am not sure if he will wind up changing his mind. I suppose there is not much I can do about it if he does.

I'm just trying to stay as positive as I can and cope, though it's very up and down.

Hi there,

I haven't been back on this forum for awhile now, but I used to post here a lot and it was the first forum I thought of to pose my questions.

Here's the deal. I got married in June of 2007 after getting through the K-1 process. My husband got his green card and everything.

Now, he has left me for some other girl he met. This happened a few days ago and it came without much warning, so I'm still in shock and trying to get myself together enough to figure out what has to be done next. I haven't thoroughly searched the forums here yet as a result, the information I need might be there but I'm rather distraught, as you may understand.

Before he left, we briefly went over how to obtain a divorce and it looked like we'd file under 'irreconcilable differences' just to make it go faster. From what I could tell, I have to obtain a copy of the divorce papers and send them to the USCIS?

Also, how do I pull my sponsorship of him and what effects does it have? From what I could tell he has until his green card expires to leave, and while he said he was moving back to England as soon as possible and wasn't going to take this for a ride, I'm not sure how much I can believe him and would like to put things in motion so that he will have to leave as soon as possible.

Do any of you know what the procedures are? Any helpful links you think I should see? Like I said, I am very distraught and am in more than a little bit of shock, so I would appreciate any help anyone could give me in this difficult time. Thank you very much in advance.

--Laurie

You've gotten good advice, you'll do great. Good luck on both appointments & best wishes for the rest of your journey! :)

Cars are seriously like children, they know when to act up at the worst time possible. [Or is that mechanics are like obstinate pet dogs on a walk in the respect that neither do sh!t when they're supposed to?]

I do hope you get your car back soon, but more importantly, Happy Birthday Maven I hope by the time you read this you may be exhausted from celebratory *love* and many tasty ice cream treats [Man, I could go for some Mint Chocolate Chip right now...]

ooooh thank you so much for posting your pictures!!!! i am in love with your dress! you both look amazing! June weddings ftw

Congrats a million times over and I hope every day, for the rest of your lives is blessed with happiness and silliness!

<3

Aww Leney Cheers Thanks so much.

Thanks to all of you guys

I'm panicking now.

I'm going to book the removal people today, already talked to AirPets about moving our cats.

Now we're having to give away a bunch of stuff; I think we need to hire a skip but my husband doesn't think so. Ha, ha, ha.

Awesome news! I agree with definitely hiring a skip. Just moving myself and friends out of apartments or 2 bedroom houses there's always a ton of stuff to throw out so I can only imagine what a bigger house would entail. I hope all the packing and shipping goes well

Andy chose Allied-Pickford for his shipping. They picked up everything on May 1st and they're slated to deliver June 15th. So I can't say yet whether they deliver on time, but they were very fairly priced and took great care packing everything up [Andy had brought it all down two flights of stairs into the front room since they would have charged extra if they had to climb stairs but I think most all are like that].

Thanks so much everybody I'm glad you enjoyed

Homesick American! Your photos are AMAZING btw! Absolutely gorgeous. Two people added me on Flickr and I wondered if the other is your wife? I couldn't tell if it was or if you had two IDs. If the other is your wife, her photos are gorgeous too. Thanks for adding me, I look forward to seeing more of your stuff and so does Andy. [Got to get him to post more of his photos, I think you'd like them as he's similiar, he loves his textures].

I'm the wife. There's only one of me on Flickr; maybe it was one of my Flickr contacts?

ETA: I checked your contacts and the other contact you have has been in my contact list for a while. Yay!

OMG! Man, I need to pay more attention, I swear! I'd say 'I'm sorry I thought you were your husband", but maybe it's not so bad! hehe. I've got my facts straight now, hee hee.

And Mags, thanks so much for your kind words. I never think of myself as photogenic as much as "Photogoofneric" really, but I appreciate that so much I'm glad you liked the piccies

I keep reading this thread but I can't figure out what's so upsetting? Maybe I am dense, hehe.

Is it really about whether or not the state department number works? [i might be off, I dunno, I can't figure it out].

If it's any help, Andy and I called the state department and we were actually TOLD to call the state department by one of the fine Scottish lads on the extortion helpline & given the number which worked fine. I tried to find the paper with the number to compare, but unfortunately I can't as it's gotten lost in the shuffle somewhere [i DID find a lost chili recipe stuffed in with my K-1 stuff for some reason, so that made me happy, heheheh]

At any rate, whether they change the number or not, I don't think it's unusual to call the state department as I've done it, and so have a bunch of people I think. Also, I got a lot of help from 'The National Visa Service Center", but NOT for particular details regarding my case as much as answers to general questions about the process [i had called to ask about whether or not Andy could visit while the K-1 was being processed and they were very helpful].

To me it seems like it depends on who you wind up talking to in the end. I.E. one helpline employee in a dozen might be the only one who knows enough to mention it, you know? I called loads of numbers over the course of an hour and a half when I was looking for answers, and went through many channels before someone gave me the visa service center number. Also, Andy had talked to a few different people on the extortion helpline about the same things before one guy actually gave him the state department number. So I don't think it's a matter of hidden numbers or anything, as much as how informed the people we get in touch with actually ARE.

Hope this helps?

Thanks so much everybody I'm glad you enjoyed

Homesick American! Your photos are AMAZING btw! Absolutely gorgeous. Two people added me on Flickr and I wondered if the other is your wife? I couldn't tell if it was or if you had two IDs. If the other is your wife, her photos are gorgeous too. Thanks for adding me, I look forward to seeing more of your stuff and so does Andy. [Got to get him to post more of his photos, I think you'd like them as he's similiar, he loves his textures].

Also, for everybody still waiting for their wedding day to come, I just wanted to say that I know the wait can be so hard at times but I wish you all the best of luck and look forward to reading about it when the day comes and seeing your pics Those are always the best posts.

Thanks again

Hola Everybody!

As of yesterday, we're officially married!

We pretty much considered this ceremony our 'ceremony of cohabitation" as a proper wedding is still up the road a ways, but we made the most of it. We had a 1PM appointment at the county clerk's office so we were up bright and early. The night before we'd tried on all of our ceremony gear of choice, and on a whim I had my Mom just throw my wet hair up in some old perm curlers she had on hand. Flash forward to the morning of the ceremony and Andy's suit was covered in cat hair since he'd left it over a chair and when I pulled the rollers out, my reflection suggested I was heading out to a "Retro 70s Afro Hair Competition' rather than a wedding!

While Andy was digging around to find the lint roller, I was spraying my hair with water trying to relax the poodle curls. Lots of rushing around until we were off to the clerk's office about 20 minutes away. I didn't think to put on my 3inch thick heeled sandals on AFTER I'd driven us to the court house, I was having trouble compensating for the added height. I wound up going either 25MPH or 60MPH with no in between, with my knees almost up to my chest as I drove, hehe.

We arrived at the clerk's office a little early so we sought refuge in a designated smoking area. We sought refuge because, while there has hardly been a lick of rain in Florida for ages now, it decided to rain all day that day. So there we were ambling around in our finery under a droopy broken umbrella we'd grabbed at the last minute. I was desperate for a ciggie but not wanting to get any ash or burns on my dress, so I stood by an ash tray bent over like I was waiting for a rectal exam, holding the cigarette an entire arm's length away from myself. Andy, meanwhile, was trying to get his tie right and rolling himself with lint roller. Almost everyone that walked by us wished us congratulations. There were people honking horns and giving the thumbs up which was so unexpected, but so nice.

We got into the clerk's office right on time, and the secretary took our info and payment. She informed us that we didn't actually have to wait for the certified copies of the marriage certificate, contrary to the county's information website. She was able to give us copies right on the spot, with the 'showy marriage certificate suitable for framing' slated to arrive later. That made us happy since we can file the AOS papers even sooner than expected. She ushered us back into what she called 'The Wedding Room' and told us to wait.

Ah, the wedding room! It was basically a file storage room with a dusty "Michael's Craft Store $19.95 Special Wedding Arch' thrown in for the occasion, hehe. The arch had plastic swans with their eyes half rubbed off from wear, and the flowers urns were falling apart. There was also what Andy called 'The Nuptial County Records File Cabinet" and the "Nuptial Microfilm Machine" which made the scene that much more romantic, hehe. We really loved it though!

The secretary appeared again, but with the addition of a blue gown which resembled the ones you'd wear for a graduation, she became our officiator. Earlier we'd requested the ceremony to be non-denominational since we're Atheists, which I think was rather unusual for them. She stumbled a bit on the stuff she read out. "We're gathered here in....this company" or "Holy....um...matrimony". She gave up I think, because she repeated "Holy" many times anyway, hehe. It was so weird because the moment we took each other's hands to make the vows, it really was like being instantly transported to some other planet. I suppose it's like that for most everyone isn't it? You just see the other person and there's no one else in the world, the officiators voice was so far off really. I didn't cry though! Just got a lump in my throat.

The secretary/officiator asked if we'd like her to take some pictures but she was rather intimidated by Andy's big digital camera. She did that thing where she touched it like it would explode, hehe. She tried her hardest but she wound up only pressing the button hard enough for it to create focus points but not actually release the shutter. We didn't let her know though, we just thanked her kindly, hehe. While we waited for her to make the copies, we took some pictures ourselves. We were so keyed up it was hard to think of what poses might be nice but we managed. Half of them are nice poses and half of them are us hamming it up and releasing tension through funny faces.

The whole thing took under a half hour! Then we were off to locate the place we'd picked out to take some more photos with nicer scenery. This area doesn't have much in the way of parks, they tend to just be expanses of game fields with a walking track or two. We wanted to find something nearby that would make a nicer backdrop so we had searched Google maps for locations. Most of them were your average playing field parks, but we found a nature preserve. I was expecting a rustic place with the big wooden signs, lots of pretty trails, picnic tables, etc. That's not exactly what we found...

I followed the directions and they took us deep into isolated parts of the county. Long roads with rusting trailers in the woods and scattered farms here and there but not much else. For as long as I've lived here, I'd never seen the area we found ourselves in. The sky was so gray from the rain, and it was TOO quiet, barely a car on the road besides ours. We arrived on the road where the entrance was supposedly located, but there were no signs or anything, we just passed this tiny parking lot with only 5-6 parking spots and a red reflector covered gate behind it. Andy was like 'That was it!". I was like 'No way, that can't be f***kin it!". He's like "It was, go back and see". So I turned around and pulled into this tiny parking lot, there were no signs, no information, NOTHING.

Andy was all smiles though, and got out of the car with no hesitation to look around. I was like "Dude! We're gonna get eaten by f***ing BEARS!!". In the usual way of things, I was having a panic moment while Andy just commented cooly and dryly. He's like "There aren't any bears out there". I was like 'How do YOU KNOW?". He thought for a moment and was like "I didn't invite any to the reception". While Andy insisted that the info online decreed it was open to the public, I insisted that it couldn't be right.

I finally got out of the car and ambled my way in the sand in 3inch heels into clearing/ditch that was near the parking lot, with lots of trees in the background. I didn't know where else we'd go so I decided we'd 'Shoot pics and run", hehe. So there we were, out in the middle of nowhere dressed up in wedding finery taking wedding photos in a ditch. I walked through a patch of sandspur plants which got stuck in the hem of my dress, and Andy was walking through a patch of stinkweed without even realizing. You wouldn't know it from some of the pictures though, which came out rather nice in the end. I couldn't get bears off my mind though. That is, until, we honestly started hearing dog howling in the distance.

This area has had some problems with packs of feral dogs, so I'm assuming that was most likely what it was. With my imagination though, I was picturing hordes of vicious coyotes or wolves that were starving coming to get us. Even Andy's calm faded a little as the howls seemed to be getting closer. It was then we decided to haul ### back to the car and get the hell out of there. Still, at the end of the day, it rather suited us. The space cadet twins, with Andy's motto being "Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time", hehe. We looked on the bright side. How many people have wedding photos taken in a scary isolated nature preserve with howls in the background? We do! hehe.

After that we just went where the wind took us. We'd originally had reservations to have dinner at a nice steakhouse in Tampa, but I wasn't up to the hour & a half drive so we wound up at a local Red Lobster, hehe. We'll have the nice celebratory dinner next week, and after some appointments we have to keep in the next couple of weeks, we're going to head to Savannah Georgia for a getaway.

So that's the [long-###] story of our first wedding or 'ceremony of cohabitation' as we're calling it. I tried to upload some of the pictures on the VJ gallery but I can't figure it out for the life of me. If anyone wants to see the pictures, they are here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/littleladyzilla/

I set aside a special album with all the pictures, all my others are there as well.

Right now we're still just exhausted, and clinking our rings together like "Ha, you're my HUSBAND! I'm your WIFE, ha!".

It's a good feeling

Sorry this post went on a little long, it's just the writer in me. Just wanted to share & again thank everyone on this site as I am not sure this event would have taken place so well without all the help we've received here.

I just read this now, it's a great post. I pictured it complete with "Die Hard Action Music" in the background, hehe. Seriously, congratulations and best wishes for the future

I hear you. My friend was in a similar situation, he sold his condo much faster than expected and had about two weeks to pack up and ship out. It started with relaxed list making and inventory, but toward the end it turned into piling stuff into what we called 'Random bags of #######" just to get it packed up, hehe.

Ah, the Zilla sees now, hehe! It's equally fantastic news. The packing up and moving must be manic! Good luck with all the packing up and finding a new house of your dreams

I've been away so I'm late with my congrats but CONGRATULATIONS! Best wishes for a speedy reunion and a wonderful future :)

Holy #######, that was so fast! Last time I looked on here you were just falling in love with the house, and now it's yours!?! That's fantastic. Congratulations on your new digs

Alan, if there is a reasonable bone in your body, can you look back at my original post?

If your problem truly is this pesky "American Nationalism", have you listened to anyone who was trying to assure you that it's not as epidemic as you seem to think it is? There ARE blindly patriotic MORONS who don't take issue with our country and it's policies because they are afraid, don't want to think, and do have that mentality that 'America is the best in the world and nobody can mess with us!!". No one is disputing it. What we're trying to tell you, if you really want some sort of comfort, is that it's NOT the majority. You seem to be steadfastly stuck on certain experiences you've had thus far with a small circle of people.

How can America be so epidemically nationalist and bullheadedly so, if on a regular basis I gather with people who enjoy discussing what problems American policy has [both foreign and domestic], problems with our media, the apathy of certain groups, etc. etc.? Talking with people whom, while they love where they live, can discuss that our government is not always kind to other countries, and can be somewhat of a bully in it's policy making sometimes? We also discuss bad policies of other countries as well, does that automatically turn us into bullheaded nationalists?? I'm not defined by the country I live in, I had nothing to do with the fact I just so happened to be born here. I DO live here though, and I'm living under a certain government that is capable of both very good things, and absolutely awful things. Who isn't? Show me a country with an 100% clean and dandy record in terms of policies or culture and I'll congratulate you.

If what you're expecting is to be 100% embraced and accepted for your outlooks, anyone would tell you that's unattainable, no matter where you go. Would I like it if the blindly patriotic groups who act like the rest of the world only exists in relation to America were less? Sure I would. Do I think it's the majority? No, I don't. Do I think I can't find the same mentality in other countries, The UK included? No, I don't. I can find it anywhere. You don't have to 'blend in', it doesn't have to come to that. Still, I get the feeling with all that you've posted that you're looking for 100% approval, and will not tolerate otherwise. You're playing the role of victim very badly. You're not a victim just because you came across a handful of idiots who force their flag-waving on everyone else.

There's more out there for you to find if you really want to. Your experiences are valid, it's just I wish I thought you could break yourself out of them to see a bigger picture. I can't sit here and agree that "Because these particular people I've met are scarily nationalist, it means the whole country is that way and I'll never feel peace unless I pretend I agree". It doesn't have to be that way. Stretch out and meet new people, visit the coasts. You don't have to be a flag waving, "AMERICA IS THE BEST" sort of person to live here happily. You have the discretion to make your choices as to whom you discuss what with, and I think you might find a lot of friends if you don't decide who and what they are before they even open their mouthes.

She got the idea that you're provacative just for the sake of it? Where on earth??? That's just unbelievable.

I laughed quite hard when I read that.

Yeah, me too!

I third that. He's not a creature of reason. I DO have a very strong sense of irony, and it's the irony of his apparent expectations of everyone else in the face of what he doles out that is quite funny. It also makes me feel just a tiny bit sad, but then I remember that I'm not the one marrying him.

Already married chucky - next time praps ?

Maybe there's hope for us Alan, but I guess you'd have to see whether or not I'm out of my depth in England first. Are there qualification forms I can fill out to make it all easier?