Mags

So can I still stick some scores in for next week? I completely lost track of time last week.

Dodi, that was an absolutely valid b!tchathon.

One thing to think about, once the cow-bag daughters realise there really is nothing else to be financially gained from their father, they'll hopefully ####### off and you'll never hear from them again.

Be there for you mother but don't waste a single moments energy on them.

At least you're not in one of those states that has restrictions on beer and the alcohol content is restricted to like 3.5%.

*splutters*

Please tell me that what you've written above is not true!

That's, like, beer sacrilege!

I'm an equal opportunity booze lover. There's a few liqueurs I can't stand, but otherwise just sling a jar of whatever my way.

I still can't get over the fact that in this little hell state named Indiana you can't buy alcohol on a Sunday, unless in a restaurant/bar that serves food.

Bloody ridiculous!

Whatever happened to my rights as a non believing heathen?

But I don't like beer. :

*splutters*

How is that even possible?

Sacrilege!

I think I've died and gone to my own special version of heaven (the one without annoying angels shoving cream cakes in my direction, singing hymms and looking all freshly laundered in white).

In my heaven there is choccy beer and Gav.

/sigh

Maybe he got bashed on the head with a banana?

I hope it was something a little heavier.

Mags,

most unmaternal mother in the world.

Blackburn 1-2 Arsenal

Chelsea 3-0 Stoke

Spurs 1-1 Wigan

Wolves 2-2 Toon

Liverpool 2-1 Baggies

Sunderland 2-1 Citeh

Villa 1-2 Everton

Man U 2-1 West Ham

Pompey 1-1 Cardiff

Bristol Rovers 1-2 Saints

First of all hugs to Maven.

Secondly, yay for getting our thread back!

Thirdly, I am the owner of a 16 year old human. From the ages of 0-16 he was a total fcuking nightmare, but suddenly on June 1st he changed and is now nice. I think he got bashed on the head somewhere.

Don Cherry

I think you toy with us, cheeky Number 5.

However I'm not a bitter person, unlike some, and shall not report you for enjoying our thread with your excellent humour.

Clementines

Dingleberry

Yay, Cinco is here!

Although I will ask that if you're going to join in you use proper fruit and not something that is, I quote from Urban Dictionary:

A delinquent partial ####### which grasps ####### shrubery causing brownish crust to accumulate ones boxers.

That's quite clearly not a fruit.

Grapes

Greengage

Mags, I'm eating my pineapple today.

Good girl!

Gooseberry

+1!

Raspberries

I'm in the lead with 2, 372 points, closely followed by The Maven with 129.

Cranberry

Edit: For moronic spelling

Yes, I think we have yet to exhaust the fruit aspect of this!

Loganberry

Mags has still not clarrified whether or not responses need to be in fact both Real and Botanical.

Yes, please make sure that your fruits are natural and aren't hideous concoctions containing pieces of animal.

Thank you.

A nice big juicy PEACH

Passion Fruit

Oh well, I'm rather partial to pineapple smut.

16

Straight up!

OK... now I go.

Just avoid putting asparagus in the veggie thread with this in mind.

Noted!

Pineapple

Thanks for the tip, Mags!

Anytime!

Dates.

cherries

It depends on the situation.

Did you know that pineapple juice is one of the only things that can sweeten, ahem, bodily fluids associated with copulation activities?

Hmm, tastes just like candy!

Only thing hardcore going on at expats is Marc and Eric's love fest.

loooooooooooool

Maven is very very determined and territorial. And bitey.

Much, except I don't wear a breastplate. And I wear a lot of liquid black eyeliner.

And she probably doesn't look as good in a leather corset as the Maven!